Why is love so hard for me?

This is a very hard topic for me and can't believe that I finally mustered the courage to say something about it. My relationships have always been a source of grief. I know that I need to reach out to others be it friends or lovers, but I feel like I can never get it right. In some ways, I feel nerdy, even though I do like to dress up and have a colorful imagination (Leo). Social situations can either be ho-hum (at best), stale or downright mortifying. I have a hard time motivating myself to socialize these days.

My love relationships have never lasted and I have a very hard time feeling at ease with a man. At first, I am attracted to him, but then I freeze within. Then, the choices that I have made in the past have been poor. I have fallen in love, but the feeling is unrequited. There are moments where I have practiced celibacy as a means of purification. My celibate periods have lasted years and never told my friends out of embarrassment.

Throughout my life, I have felt social pressures drive me to have an intimate relationship and assume a traditional feminine role that I never wanted (Uranus conjunct Lilith on MC). What is interesting is that I love to cook and when I have kids I wish to stay home (Mars in Cancer maybe). But that is where tradition ends for me as a woman. Deep down, I feel perfectly content with a male friend (Sag Moon) who is committed to me as a woman. I would be his life-long "friend" too.

These days, I would like to be married and have kids. The saddest part is that I don't feel this way out of love. It is more of a duty; I don't want my eggs to dry up and need a companion to share myself with; there are some things that cannot be done alone. Being a Leo, I am a deeply loving person. I just wonder if my Capricorn rising, Venus in Virgo (in its fall) square Moon-Neptune in Sagittarius is what takes the wind out of my sails.

Could someone give me their insight as to why love is so difficult for me? Maybe someone could provide me some tips. Thanks a lot .

A brief look at your chart has many issues going on as to why you can't find love enough to last.

There are multiple areas that contradict each other. Leo is a sign that likes being demonstrative in love, craves attention & affection. With your Sun in Leo conjunct mercury trining Moon, your soul is full of fire-creativity, enthusiasm, romance & even adventure. Now the complicated part- Moon is Conjunct Neptune which turns it into an emotional abyss. That's how I describe this aspect, because no matter how much love you get it barely fills an ounce of your hunger.

If that didn't make you feel unloved enough, Venus Sq your moon to get you into complicated relationships. You might be sacrificing too much in order to gain the affection & later turning resentful or feeling used. On the other hand Venus Sex Uranus is a lover of complicated love-triangles, adventurous affairs & eccentric relationships. It can get addicted to the electrifying experience that exists at the start of a relation but get bored once it gets a little monotonous. At best, they prefer keeping some distance/ emotional detachment.

Your sun also squares your Uranus which complicates moving along with people & compromise:
These people have a love-hate relationship with their own uniqueness. Much of the time they are very proud of their original personalities. Other times, they feel a bit left out for being "different". Although they are humanitarian in many ways, they can be a little brusque when it comes to sentimentality or what they perceive to be excessive attachment to the past or to tradition.
When the Sun and Uranus form a challenging aspect, there can be a lot of nervous energy and defensiveness. (Cafe Astrology)

Another important area is need to integrate the social relationships/values through the Libran Jupiter, unfortunately it's conjunct Saturn (Exalted) creating alot of insecurity.

One of the questions I might be asking is "do you look for a partner who validates you only while sacrificing his own needs?"
Relationships are a give-&-Take, you would definitely have the skills to promote yourself but you need faith in yourself & truly love & support your partner in order to feel fulfilled. But your freedom needs are very high so you gotta balance that too.

Hope it makes sense.

How accurate is your birth time? I ask because you have potential interceptions but if your time is off even by a few minutes it will change the chart.

mdinaz said:

How accurate is your birth time? I ask because you have potential interceptions but if your time is off even by a few minutes it will change the chart.

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According to my mother, that time is accurate because she looked at the clock exactly when I was born. My birth certificate says 6:31 p.m., but she states that was the time they documented my birth rather than the time that I was actually born, which was 6:00 p.m. That being the case, I am inclined to go with my mother.

Thanks a lot Blackempress.

Blackempress said:

There are multiple areas that contradict each other. Leo is a sign that likes being demonstrative in love, craves attention & affection. With your Sun in Leo conjunct mercury trining Moon, your soul is full of fire-creativity, enthusiasm, romance & even adventure.

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I love to travel and the men that I have encountered prefer to be stationary.

Blackempress said:

Now the complicated part- Moon is Conjunct Neptune which turns it into an emotional abyss. That's how I describe this aspect, because no matter how much love you get it barely fills an ounce of your hunger.

If that didn't make you feel unloved enough, Venus Sq your moon to get you into complicated relationships. You might be sacrificing too much in order to gain the affection & later turning resentful or feeling used.

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This has happened and that is why I have preferred to lay low these days.

Blackempress said:

On the other hand Venus Sex Uranus is a lover of complicated love-triangles, adventurous affairs & eccentric relationships. It can get addicted to the electrifying experience that exists at the start of a relation but get bored once it gets a little monotonous. At best, they prefer keeping some distance/ emotional detachment.

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That was true when I began dating and wondered why the weirdos gravitated towards me.

Blackempress said:

Your sun also squares your Uranus which complicates moving along with people & compromise:
These people have a love-hate relationship with their own uniqueness. Much of the time they are very proud of their original personalities. Other times, they feel a bit left out for being "different". Although they are humanitarian in many ways, they can be a little brusque when it comes to sentimentality or what they perceive to be excessive attachment to the past or to tradition.
When the Sun and Uranus form a challenging aspect, there can be a lot of nervous energy and defensiveness. (Cafe Astrology)

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I can relate to this and it's hard...

Blackempress said:

Another important area is need to integrate the social relationships/values through the Libran Jupiter, unfortunately it's conjunct Saturn (Exalted) creating alot of insecurity.

One of the questions I might be asking is "do you look for a partner who validates you only while sacrificing his own needs?"
Relationships are a give-&-Take, you would definitely have the skills to promote yourself but you need faith in yourself & truly love & support your partner in order to feel fulfilled. But your freedom needs are very high so you gotta balance that too.

Hope it makes sense.

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I have found my partners to be selfish, insensitive, yet needy, and this translates into my friendships as well. I will keep your suggestions in mind. Looks like I have a long road ahead.

It looks like you project your Venus-Uranus onto your partners & those relationships probably work like a see-saw shifting between "Wow! What a wild time we had!" To "What a selfish creep!" Uranus can be selfish & trust me instable relationships raid havoc on your self-confidence. I'm fully aware of this aspect because all the people I attract or those I get along with share this feature. It ain't no picnic! My advise is consciously ignore this attention & make yourself worthy of someone like yourself. Select a Leo or Sagittarius mate & control your impulsivity. Sagittarius would likely give you the attention, companionship, escorts & freedom that you crave. We are not doomed to follow our charts. They can be used as tools for growth.
Good luck.

Blackempress said:

It looks like you project your Venus-Uranus onto your partners & those relationships probably work like a see-saw shifting between "Wow! What a wild time we had!" To "What a selfish creep!" Uranus can be selfish & trust me instable relationships raid havoc on your self-confidence. I'm fully aware of this aspect because all the people I attract or those I get along with share this feature. It ain't no picnic!

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And I felt like the only one. I'm so glad I decided to speak up because this had me unhappy ever since I can remember. Before I was old enough to date, my friendships shared these feature, minus the romance of course. Speaking of selfish, many of these Uranus types use their freedom as a form of defense and a weapon against you, and as a means to leave you high and dry once they are satisfied.

Blackempress said:

control your impulsivity

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I have always had this problem! But maturity has slowed me down and made me more reflective.

Blackempress said:

Sagittarius would likely give you the attention, companionship, escorts & freedom that you crave.

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I don't know about escorts lol! But yes, freedom is very important. And you know, I find Sagittarius men very sexy !

Blackempress said:

My advise is consciously ignore this attention & make yourself worthy of someone like yourself. Select a Leo or Sagittarius mate. We are not doomed to follow our charts. They can be used as tools for growth. Good luck.

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Will do. Thanks a bunch!

Kailani, have you "read" your chart in detail, the specifics, in depth?

If you do this, the answers to your questions may become more available.

Your original post is contradictory -- yes, I know it's not, but it is.... Your question is "why is love so hard...?", and then you go on to say you are very loving. I understand this paradox on the most personal level, but you must find your own answers.

Look at the shape of your chart.

All the planets (I don't use asteroids and such) are above the horizon, occupying less than 180 degrees of the zodiac (but very nearly a full 180). Mars is the first planet to rise by diurnal motion (primum mobile). Therefore he is the Leading Planet, and this raises him to superlative power in the chart. His influence pervades all facets of the life, other conditions notwithstanding.

In addition to his Leading position, we find him to be almuten figuris...the "strong man, he who rules by force"...again, an indicication of the predominant nature of Mars in this chart.

Again, we find him to be the only angular planet. Angular planets always play a dominant role in a life.

So....Mars is the preeminent planet in this map. When he is in a position of such power, we can say the person is "indomitable". (Look up the word, including its etymology). Wild, untamed, undomesticated, ungovernable, valiant, not subject to domination. Cannot be subdued or overcome, strong and implacable will, courage, unconquerable."

Mars, due to his position in the whole-chart pattern, shows how you "meet life"....he's the first planet in the pattern to contact experience (diurnal motion) as the sky turns about the Earth. Well, last time I read about Mars, he symbolized "Independence." He must be free to walk his own path. And, by the way, Mars in the 7th in Hindu astrology is called "mangalyoga" and is feared by Hindu astrologers because it causes strife and disharmony in "marriage"; they have elaborate rituals to counteract its effects, and even then it is considered very difficult. It shows a person best suited to a solitary life -- not marriage and close relationships. (This is my understanding. I'm not really knowledgeable in Vedic astrology.) One of the "remedies" (a way around) for mangalyoga is to find another person with the same condition...sort of a homeopathic remedy.

Now put these character traits at the Descendant, the 7th House. Put them in Cancer. Look at the dispositor Moon, in the 12th and closely conjunct Neptune. Moon is the trailing planet in the pattern....Mars opens, Moon closes. They contain the content of this Bowl Pattern. Moon shows how the experiences of life are assimilated, brought to a conclusion. And Moon disposes Mars (who beholds no close major aspects -- although I would consider him in square to all three Libra planets: he is square the midpoint. Also, he is in his fall and the Libra planets are in his descension, exacerbating the squares). Therefore, the relationship of Moon and Mars must be very important.

Sun is Final Dispositor of the chart. And Sun is a very independent sort of fellow. He shines because he shines. If his light and heat comfort and sustain others, or burn them, is of no concern. Sun is what he is. Leo is a Fire sign, a sign of "ego" or self-ness.

The Bowl Pattern, in its own nature is "Self-contained." That is one of the features of this psychological pattern that stands out, makes it what it is.

The chart pattern underlies all else. It shapes the life, and the actions of all the planets occur within this matrix. The leading planet of this pattern is preeminent in the life. And the final dispositor of a chart wields immense power over the entire being and life....and all three of these features of your chart proclaim a deep need for independence and autonomy.....

Not only is Venus in Virgo (her fall), but she is square Moon-Neptune...and her dispositor Mercury is in flames, swallowed up by a very powerful 8th House Sun who is also square Uranus.

If you will take the time and trouble to carefully, thoroughly, tediously, deeply and fully "interpret" each and every symbol (planets and their conditions) in your chart, you will see the answer to your question. Take the symbols out of the realm of astrology and translate them into terms of your living being, your psychology. Bring them to life.

greybeard said:

Kailani, have you "read" your chart in detail, the specifics, in depth?

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Greybeard, I have "read" my chart. I asked for input because like the human being that I am, I acknowledge that there is the likelihood I may not be objective about myself. We like to see the best in ourselves and even our family with the best of their intentions may do the same as well. When I have read for other people, I have no problem telling them what their chart's issues may be, for better or worse.

greybeard said:

Your original post is contradictory -- yes, I know it's not, but it is.... Your question is "why is love so hard...?", and then you go on to say you are very loving. I understand this paradox on the most personal level, but you must find your own answers.

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Yes, and that is why I came here because I still feel like a student after all of these years. And I'm not too proud to admit it. We all help each other in our individual quest.

greybeard said:

All the planets (I don't use asteroids and such) are above the horizon, occupying less than 180 degrees of the zodiac (but very nearly a full 180). Mars is the first planet to rise by diurnal motion (primum mobile). Therefore he is the Leading Planet, and this raises him to superlative power in the chart. His influence pervades all facets of the life, other conditions notwithstanding.

In addition to his Leading position, we find him to be almuten figuris...the "strong man, he who rules by force"...again, an indicication of the predominant nature of Mars in this chart.

Again, we find him to be the only angular planet. Angular planets always play a dominant role in a life.

So....Mars is the preeminent planet in this map.

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Well, my life always feels like a struggle from the very time that I was born.

greybeard said:

When he is in a position of such power, we can say the person is "indomitable". (Look up the word, including its etymology).

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I think I know what indomitable means in two languages and better understand its etymology in Spanish. However, the English translation is not lost on me.

greybeard said:

Wild, untamed, undomesticated, ungovernable, valiant, not subject to domination. Cannot be subdued or overcome, strong and implacable will, courage, unconquerable.

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I have been described in this fashion on a number of occasions, though I never saw myself in that light. But we often do not see ourselves the way that other do.

greybeard said:

Mars, due to his position in the whole-chart pattern, shows how you "meet life"....he's the first planet in the pattern to contact experience (diurnal motion) as the sky turns about the Earth. Well, last time I read about Mars, he symbolized "Independence." He must be free to walk his own path.

Click to expand...

I have suspected this as well.

greybeard said:

And, by the way, Mars in the 7th in Hindu astrology is called "mangalyoga" and is feared by Hindu astrologers because it causes strife and disharmony in "marriage"; they have elaborate rituals to counteract its effects, and even then it is considered very difficult. It shows a person best suited to a solitary life -- not marriage and close relationships. (This is my understanding. I'm not really knowledgeable in Vedic astrology.)

Click to expand...

It's interesting that you mentioned this, because deep down I feared getting married because of violence against me. I'm not just talking about physical violence, but non-physical attacks as well. Sometimes I felt like the joining of two forces swallows me and makes me want to break out, and fear the man "punishing" me for that. I have observed how marriage changes and subdues many of my female peers and friends. This is something that I cannot live with. Now I see why and can better come to terms with the things that I have always known about myself.

greybeard said:

One of the "remedies" (a way around) for mangalyoga is to find another person with the same condition...sort of a homeopathic remedy.

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This was a near LOL moment (sort of like A-ha!) though I take it seriously.

greybeard said:

Now put these character traits at the Descendant, the 7th House. Put them in Cancer. Look at the dispositor Moon, in the 12th and closely conjunct Neptune. Moon is the trailing planet in the pattern....Mars opens, Moon closes. They contain the content of this Bowl Pattern. Moon shows how the experiences of life are assimilated, brought to a conclusion. And Moon disposes Mars (who beholds no close major aspects -- although I would consider him in square to all three Libra planets: he is square the midpoint. Also, he is in his fall and the Libra planets are in his descension, exacerbating the squares). Therefore, the relationship of Moon and Mars must be very important.

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This will take some time to analyze.

greybeard said:

Sun is Final Dispositor of the chart. And Sun is a very independent sort of fellow. He shines because he shines.

The Bowl Pattern, in its own nature is "Self-contained." That is one of the features of this psychological pattern that stands out, makes it what it is.

The chart pattern underlies all else. It shapes the life, and the actions of all the planets occur within this matrix. The leading planet of this pattern is preeminent in the life. And the final dispositor of a chart wields immense power over the entire being and life....and all three of these features of your chart proclaim a deep need for independence and autonomy.....

Not only is Venus in Virgo (her fall), but she is square Moon-Neptune...and her dispositor Mercury is in flames, swallowed up by a very powerful 8th House Sun who is also square Uranus.

If you will take the time and trouble to carefully, thoroughly, tediously, deeply and fully "interpret" each and every symbol (planets and their conditions) in your chart, you will see the answer to your question. Take the symbols out of the realm of astrology and translate them into terms of your living being, your psychology. Bring them to life.

Click to expand...

Thank you very much for taking the time to provide me with your valuable insight . Like you said, it will take me time, but, I will most definitely take it. I have a lifetime to do it. I may provide updates with the passing of time; I want my experiences to potentially help out others.

Pos si, tienes toda una vida...
A vuelta de rueda mi hija, al pasito y ahi va.
No hay que llegar primero, hay que saber llegar.

Es cierto, me canse de sufrir y decidí pedir ayuda. A veces hay ciertos pensamientos y emociones que se me facilitan en el español, aun que nací en los EE.UU. Gracias por todo. Buenas noches.

I don't think love is very hard for you especially with a nice venus-mars sextile and sun-moon trine shows an easy ability to form relationships. I think you could be experiencing the negative side of 8th house venus virgo, that can overly analyse and obsessively worry about relationships. Most planets in the 8th house always gave such a depressing tone and a sense of loss, they definintly meet the darker side of life

Hey kailaniatsea

May I ask what is your profession/work?
Do you have any health issues? What about your siblings?

I am just wondering if your description of yourself would also fit with a chart that has Aquarius rising and Leo in 7th?

Arena said:

Hey kailaniatsea

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Hello Arena, I was getting ready to sleep, but it's all good . Thanks!

Arena said:

May I ask what is your profession/work?

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I am studying to become a teacher, but feel like a jill of all trades as I have worked in a wide variety of occupations ranging from horticulture to human resources. Due to my dexterity in languages, I have occupied two or three positions in one (e.g. language interpretation, liaison and the like). How I can be two or three different people at work is beyond me. At heart, I am an artsy woman stuck in a "practical" body. I can also sing in a few languages.

Arena said:

Do you have any health issues?

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Every since I was a toddler, my health has been an issue and thanks to my health conscious mother (Cancer Sun, Virgo ASC), I am still here. It's autoimmune issues off and on that have had me feeling like a see-saw, but I fight and hang in there.

Arena said:

What about your siblings?

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I have a much older brother and we never got along. He was always hostile towards me. Being a girl didn't help me.

Arena said:

I am just wondering if your description of yourself would also fit with a chart that has Aquarius rising and Leo in 7th?

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In the back of my head I have thought that, but I do have the wet blanket moments of Capricorn. Then again, Moon-Neptune will make one feel sappy from time to time. On the other hand, I was never as materialistic and conservative as a Cappy. Don't get me wrong, I have lived a clean cut life, but following the rules makes me batty unless there is a discernible prosocial motive behind it.

I used to freak about rules big time as a child much to the consternation of my family and the community. It was real bad, even though I was a kind hearted child. The best way to "bribe" me was through music. When I was in elementary school, the first description that I heard about myself was "weird!" Forget being called a nice little girl. I have a penchant for saying seemingly odd things that wind up becoming true.

Hmmmm
I would much rather study your chart with Aq rising than Cap rising with this description

I look at whole sign houses.

If you look at whole sign houses and Aq rising and you consider both Saturn and Uranus as ruling you - you see that Saturn is in 9th house and Uranus is in 10th - this indicates changing jobs alot I think. Uranus needs variety and change, it also needs independence.

With that chart Saturn would be in 9th house which indicates inclination to moving from home to different country and/or higher education. Could also explain wanting to teach.

Mars being inside the 6th house indicates trouble with health I would think.
It indicates that your friends are also connected to 9th house.

Study the Aq rising chart - it puts lots of emphasis on your 9th house.

Arena said:

Hmmmm
I would much rather study your chart with Aq rising than Cap rising with this description

I look at whole sign houses.

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I have heard about this system and will definitely check it out.

Arena said:

If you look at whole sign houses and Aq rising and you consider both Saturn and Uranus as ruling you - you see that Saturn is in 9th house and Uranus is in 10th - this indicates changing jobs alot I think. Uranus needs variety and change, it also needs independence.

With that chart Saturn would be in 9th house which indicates inclination to moving from home to different country and/or higher education. Could also explain wanting to teach.

Mars being inside the 6th house indicates trouble with health I would think.
It indicates that your friends are also connected to 9th house.

Study the Aq rising chart - it puts lots of emphasis on your 9th house.

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Yes, I relate to this as well. At some point, I suspect that I will leave the country. I have dreamt it and all, and many of my dreams have come true. Another 9th house detail that has always manifested in my life: I have dealt a lot with foreigners and people different from me. My life has never been ethnically nor religiously homogenous; variety has been the spice of my life. As a child, I always stuck with my studies. The motivation to learn was the only reason why I stuck it out with school in spite of my eccentricities, health problems and etc. Your interpretation of Uranus in 10th house is very accurate; I had my first job at the age of 14 and covered a lot of territory skill wise.

Thank you very much for your awesome insights!

Rising is rising.....

How come the rising sign changes from Capricorn to Aquarius? Did I miss something? A birth at 1831 would not move her Asc from Capricorn to Aquarius. The Asc remains the same in all house systems; it is an astronomical fact.

Also, Kailani said: I think I know what indomitable means in two languages and better understand its etymology in Spanish. However, the English translation is not lost on me. , which led me to believe she is more comfortable in Spanish than in English. [And this is confirmed by her response to my 3-line secret message when she says A veces hay ciertos pensamientos y emociones que se me facilitan en el español, aun que nací en los EE.UU.]

So I wrote her a simple 3-line encouragement in Spanish. Geez.
Y por si se me sale decir fruncido, no me refiero a las cejas.

Well Greybeard, astrology does not remedy prejudices and biases in people as I have come to learn over the years. El mono aun que se vista de seda mono se queda. But we will continue to pass our wisdom and goodwill all around .

A little back story on my language abilities. My speech was delayed as a child and doctors suspected that I had autism until one day out of the blue I began to speak both languages in kindergarten. Oh yes, I was a late bloomer (Capricorn ASC). Perhaps this is why I talk so much; deep down I fear that I will lose my ability to speak. As far as analyzing what the culprit could be, I wanted to focus on my 2nd (the throat) and 3rd houses (communication). Aquarius is my 2nd house , if I count my birth as 1800 or use the whole sign system for house placement. Since Uranus and Saturn rule the water bearer, it is afflicted. If we look at the 3rd house , Aries, it is ruled by Mars which has plenty of squares of which Saturn (Aquarius co-ruler) is implicated.

A few years ago, I lost my ability to sing and all that came out of my throat was a frayed and pained sound. This went on for a few years. There was nothing physically wrong, it just happened out of the blue. Maybe South Node in my ASC contributes to this problem. To use a little psychology on myself here, I believe that my combust Mercury in Leo in the 8th house square Uranus may have something to do with these speech interruptions. The 8th house by nature is secretive and relates to death. So I compare it to a gas technician (Scorpio) shutting off the gas (Leo) suddenly (Uranus) and then the house goes cold (combust Mercury).

I learned Spanish at home first, but was unable to communicate coherently until years later. When my mother enrolled me in preschool, I was taught English and still could not produce a proper response, yet I remember knowing how to read basic sentences in both languages. Somehow I understood what was being said to me and I could read. Whenever teachers said negative things to my mother about my "issue", I understood yet I could not speak and it hurt me . This made me self-conscious and later on, defensive (Mars almuten...). To make a long story short, Spanish feels more homey to me and there are certain concepts that I better understand in this language, including astrology among other subjects. Since I was born and raised in the U.S., I adapted to and mastered English because this is my country as well. If I was a francophone it would be the same thing. Just ask Haitians and French Canadians.

About the rising, 1831 gives me 27 degrees Capricorn. I entertained the Aquarius rising to see how it would fit, kind of like a new and shiny outfit. Sometimes I have found that whenever an individual is on the cusp of another sign they share astrological traits from both signs. In high school, I had a Virgo friend who was on the cusp of Libra (anaretic degree) and there were times when she displayed her Venus side. Since we were adolescents, I cannot provide you profound examples, but she was enamored with cosmetology and was secretly quite the hit with the boys to put it kindly. Out of respect to her I never asked her about her affairs, but with her Venus conjunct Uranus and Sun square Neptune, I pretty much knew the story. On the flip side, she was very finicky, nitpicky and critical, like the Virgo that she is.

Although I deeply appreciate everybody's responses, your response hit me the hardest. What you said about about Mars cannot be denied nor understated and have made myself miserable and sick repressing my anger and frustration, and with Moon at the tail end, that was horrible. I have always had a "physical" outlook on life. It is hard to explain, but need to have my mind and body in motion, even if I am only cooking and cleaning. Being a woman, there is the underlying expectation that one should always be sweet and agreeable. However, this never made me renege on my gender (I always loved wearing dresses and makeup), just the the way that some people box us in. And then having the Moon be at the end of the bowl made my emotions overwhelming when I was younger. Since Sagittarius expands, well, that just magnified what I felt. This also makes me think that emotional release is a must for me in order to stay sane...I checked out the midpoints that you mentioned and totally understand the Libra squares, ouch. It's like having a marital bed made of nails...

Like I said previously, I will post updates because I believe that somebody out there may benefit from this thread, hopefully.

Goodnight. Buenas noches.

My daughter and I were talking about opening up a little Mexican restaurant here in town. When I suggested that we call it "Beaner's" my grandson got mad at me. No sense of humor, me cae.

Take each planet in your chart, without aspects, and delineate it thoroughly. Each of the planets has significance in terms of your life. Many, probably most, students get all wrapped up in saying, "Oh, I have Moon in Sagittarius" and never get beyond that and into what it really means in their life.

Once you have a good read on each of the planets as stand-alone energies, then tie them together with aspects and rulerships.

This is not really the way to read a chart, but it gets you beyond thinking in terms of astrological symbols and into thinking in terms of meanings and how the meanings interact.

Actually, Frijoleros sounds muy bueno hombre . Beaners would remind me of Americanized Mexican food. People need the smoky and good stuff, not just the bottled salsa and bland chips.

Yes, I will take your advice into mind. Since I currently have the flu, it will be a while before I resume my studies. Mentally, I feel like I am hiatus.