Why am I feeling this way?

So during my whole life, I've often felt like I am being judged and doing things that are bad, as in not accepted.
Yeah sure, I bet it has to do with experience and my past, but I wonder if anything in my natal chart indicates that my astrological placements could have anything to do with it?

You ask about feelings about 'not being accepted. 'I think that the ascendant shows how one fits in or feels about acceptance. You have Scorpio rising, which often gives off a vibe of 'sexuality' and of sensuality. Others might feel awkward or uncomfortable by that kind of raw Scorpionic energy that you exude. It is nothing you are doing, it is just the sexuality that is naturally present.

Mars, the co-ruler of your ascendant , is in Aries and being challenged by Jupiter in Capricorn. Jupiter in Cap can feel like a judge. So that would describe what you are describing---a sense of being judged. I think it is an internal message, that you are feeling/hearing. There is something about your own Mars in Aries /Asc in Scorpio/Pluto in the first, that is triggering some kind of inner fears or shame. Are you concerned about what your 'Jupiter' thinks about your dating habits? Jupiter can be religious figures, grandparents, mentors, bosses,---people whom we look up to.

Scorpio rising can definitely appear to be quite discriminating and powerful...others tend to fear the apparent secretive tendencies,which can be perceived as 'hidden motives' by others. While the lower symbol for Scorpio is of course, the scorpion, at the higher level it is also akin to the eagle; consider the intensity of that 'eagle's stare' when seeking out it's prey.
Pluto rising also adds to your aura of intensity.

You are prone to making intense observations of others, which can also make people uncomfortable and hesitant in moving in too close. Scorpio exudes a strong sense of power and control, which can be threatening to other individual's sense of personal power.

Sun and Mars in Aries also tends to express the persona in aggressive and controlling ways. Another contributing factor is the affliction of Jupiter in square to Sun and Mars.

To help to offset the negative aspects of the way you project yourself, you need to become more aware of your automatic responsiveness to others and learn to tone down the intensity of how you appear to others. The responses of others are the result of the cues we give off.

Hello -

I see that Venus rules 7th house and natal Venus is in 7th house square to MC.

An obstacle with relating to the public view of yourself.

At the same time, the square gives us something to work on - it's a grind, but when it's worked out - it becomes a strength and not a weakness.

Venus on 7th wants to please. Venus in 7th wants to please others.

Look to your Mercury for ways to work this out - Mercury rules MC and controls public view.

Maybe reign 'it' in - whatever you think 'it' is that people judge you on.

Thank you all so much, it might be the typical "either they will love you hate you- scorpio asc thing"
But I've read that I have Mercury opposition Ascendant

Can you see that in the original chart?
I will post another picture of my aspects if that isn't possible

Hi Khlysty. I'd ask myself a question first: Is it only that you "feel" you're being judged, or do you know definitively you are being judged/discriminated against?

For instance, I don't know your age, and this isn't meant to offend, only that I know for myself, when I was younger, I might feel insecure about people and think they did not like me, when in fact, they were just fine and it was in my head. On the other hand, that doesn't mean you aren't right -- only that the more proof you have that you're being judged, I think it helps when looking at the chart.

On the basis of your chart alone, I'd say you likely are being judged. I was born with Mercury, Mars, and Venus in a tight stellium, all opposition to Pluto. Coupled with Saturn in my first house, this was a dreadful combination grow up with.

At first glance, it looks like you too have an opposition with Mercury and Pluto, with Pluto in your first house. For instance, when I was young, expressing myself got me into trouble. Being silenced is a mark of Pluto's work on Mercury. Plus, with Mercury in Taurus, this might lend to being persistent in the way you communicate, to the point you alienate others. (In my own example, I'll likely outstay my welcome on this post because my Mercury in Aries makes me tend to "ram" ideas down other people's throats!)

Saturn seems like he would be important as he imposes constraints and discipline. From Aries he opposes your mid-heaven, which is in Virgo. The planetary ruler of Virgo is Mercury (which sends us back to that sticky opposition with Pluto), so I'd opine you're feeling this discriminatory pressure from these two points.

However, you have support coming in in the form of trines with these aspects as well, and as I'm still very much an amateur, perhaps others can provide better insight than myself. But as a Plutonian and a Saturnian, I can attest to the pressure they can put on a person.