Stuck.. What should I be doing??

Hi guys.. Haven't posted anything in months since my first
Post, been busy with the kids for the summer and well I'm
Flighty as anything so come and go with everything in my life!! 😁
I am stuck wondering what I should be doing, as my youngest is starting school this year. I always always have a niggling thought to start painting/drawing again but something stops me! I cannot make myself get going on it.
I'm worried I'm always going to be one of those fishes chasing my tail going down the river instead of upwards..
Why am I so scared to try?! Also my psychic awareness that I've kept turned off for years, how do I turn it back on and can i handle it if I do?! Any insights and advice on my chart appreciated, frank opinions welcome- I'm realistic 😊

I thought this was a curious thing to say .....

"I'm worried I'm always going to be one of those fishes chasing my tail going down the river instead of upwards"

Why not go downstream, following your chart indicators, going with the flow as the saying goes?

Sun in Pisces square Neptune is creative, as is Venus ruling the 5th house. Unfortunately both of them connect to Saturn who puts the brakes on. But Saturn can also organize you into action, make your dreams practical and real, lead you step-by-step into a new enterprise.

How about starting a creative kind of blog? Looking at your Venus in 3rd house, your Moon in Gemini, and Mars also in the 3rd house and in enterprising Aries, would creative writing be a way to fulfill your 'artistic' promptings? Blogs can involve writing and pictures/graphics either self-created or borrowed. Your Moon might like to blog about health concerns, possibly.

Another source of inspiration is your Jupiter-Uranus conjunction in the 11th house. Does group work/socialising beckon to you?

Sweet Pea said:

I thought this was a curious thing to say .....

"I'm worried I'm always going to be one of those fishes chasing my tail going down the river instead of upwards"

Why not go downstream, following your chart indicators, going with the flow as the saying goes?

Sun in Pisces square Neptune is creative, as is Venus ruling the 5th house. Unfortunately both of them connect to Saturn who puts the brakes on. But Saturn can also organize you into action, make your dreams practical and real, lead you step-by-step into a new enterprise.

How about starting a creative kind of blog? Looking at your Venus in 3rd house, your Moon in Gemini, would creative writing be a way to fulfill your 'artistic' promptings? Blogs can involve writing and pictures/graphics either self-created or borrowed. Your Moon might like to blog about health concerns, possibly.

Another source of inspiration is your Jupiter-Uranus conjunction in the 11th house. Does group work/socialising beckon to you?

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Thank you for your reply😊
I suppose it is a curious thing to say. I never saw it from that point of view, to go with the flow! Then I get in trouble for going with the flow too much with confrontation for example, where I'd rather chew off my arm!! Haha.. Interesting that you mentioned creative writing and drawing because when I was about 5 I was drawing/writing stories! But not since childhood. As for group work or socialising, as an empathic person I find most social situations exhausting before long. I have only a few close friends as I find the b*tching and sneakiness and politics exhausting.

Thanks again for replying! If there is anything else you think about my chart I'd love to hear it as I'm relatively new to this
And I'm my own test subject! 😊