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  #26  
Unread 12-17-2019, 06:53 AM
PlutorisingLee PlutorisingLee is offline
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Re: Mental illness and a wedding

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Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
And compromising your aspirations will make you miserable. I've been in a relationship that worked similarly, and yes, when I did compromise, it made me miserable! We lasted ten years, though. There was no Uranus/Venus aspect in our composite or either of our natal charts, and none in our synastry, but Uranus had a strong stamp on both our charts... as it does on yours and your love's.
You are absolutely right. If anything, he should be the one to change course, since he's already changing course. You have responsibilities you're locked into. He's choosing new ones.
I always think that Uranus is that one thing that allows me to be in otherwise very unearthy connections to people. I actually really hope to develop that aspect more and I feel this relationship allows me to learn unconditional love and to let go of my need for "stability".
I very much relate to the vision of love and relationship as a lesson and being worthy as such without any expectation...
And yet I find that at some point when choices are made a lofty idealistic view isn't always enough- hence reaching out to Astrology.
I can afford to "waste" ten years on love but it can't me moral to do that to my future family if I know this is such a relationship. This is the dilemma.

But like you say...You never know and you have to trust.

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But with that strong Uranus signature you both have, and affecting relationships for both of you--even if you were not in a relationship with each other, you both still have a Uranus-Venus connection that shades all of your relationships--he can't and shouldn't wrap all of his choices around you. He needs to feel he has his space and individuality, independently of you. And you need the same for yourself, independently of him.Yes, playing Uranus is the only way a Uranus-Venus relationship can last. Or any strongly Uranian relationship.
I can see that, yes. Although if we think of Uranus as co-ruler of Capricorn and a force that wants to create a (new) structure+ all that Capricorn in his chart....What do we get? Because funnily enough, relatively speaking it is not me that is the traditional one here! I always found Aquarius energy to e very unbending.

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When the Uranus aspects are soft ones, it's likely to be easier to play Uranus than it is with hard aspects. It comes more naturally and easily. But you still have that Uranian energy, and it still will break the relationship if you don't allow space for it.

Even if you do allow space for Uranus, the relationship might end at some point just because it's run its course. That might be far in the future, or it might not. All relationships end eventually. If you stay together til one of you dies, that's the end point. If you don't, then you've simply completed the relationship before completing your lives. Uranus-Venus increases the chances of the relationship being completed sooner because of the high speed motion involved (the energy issue you described) and because, as you know from experience, creating the right kind of space for it in a couple relationship is very challenging. Lots of couples don't even try.
Oh it is! Many don't try...But as you know I don't connect to a challenge free relationship. Where in the charts would you look to see ways to bring more harmony and balance into this chaotic energy?
I don't mean looking for a way "out" rather where to channel this energy instead. For example, I found we get along well when we are moving and traveling.
I remembered that our first meeting was during a Saturn-Uranus conjunction. The whole topic of tradition vs new ways, creating structure, family, institutions...
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Yes. You both belong to the Neptune/Uranus conjunction cohort. That blends them seamlessly, both in your relationship with each other and your individual lives.
Really interesting...And indeed a connection to this generation that is magnified.
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If you're a fool, you're the tarot fool, on the fool's journey. That's what this relationship is. A step into the unknown, lead where it may, end when it may.
Thank you.

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  #27  
Unread 12-18-2019, 12:57 AM
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Kite Kite is offline
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Re: Mental illness and a wedding

Not sure I would characterize his problem as Mental Illness - more like Mental Absence ---He has no Air in his chart and neither do you except for your Saturn in Aquarius. I guess its up to you to instill objectivity into the relationship and both of your lives. That may be the purpose of getting together shown by your airy and partnery Libra ascendant. Detachment is a key theme for you to be able to put all the other stuff into perspective. Sounds interesting though.
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  #28  
Unread 12-18-2019, 10:42 PM
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Osamenor Osamenor is offline
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Re: Mental illness and a wedding

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Originally Posted by PlutorisingLee View Post
Where in the charts would you look to see ways to bring more harmony and balance into this chaotic energy?
I don't mean looking for a way "out" rather where to channel this energy instead. For example, I found we get along well when we are moving and traveling.
Think of everything Uranus can mean. Then, go towards the positive versions.

Change. Changing structures. Non-traditional. Common causes.

Perhaps you two would do best to deliberately plan on not having a conventional relationship, if you weren't already doing so. Your idea that getting married or at least cohabitating would make you a more stable couple is a conventional assumption. It won't make the two of you a conventional couple. It will just make you miserable trying.

That doesn't necessarily mean you can't marry or cohabitate, but if you do, you have to do it on your terms. With plenty of personal space, too.

You might also find it a good relationship if you're working on a common cause together. Is there any cause that you both believe in, and are willing to work for?
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Last edited by Osamenor; 12-18-2019 at 10:46 PM.
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  #29  
Unread 12-19-2019, 07:31 PM
PlutorisingLee PlutorisingLee is offline
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Re: Mental illness and a wedding

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Originally Posted by Kite View Post
Not sure I would characterize his problem as Mental Illness - more like Mental Absence ---He has no Air in his chart and neither do you except for your Saturn in Aquarius. I guess its up to you to instill objectivity into the relationship and both of your lives. That may be the purpose of getting together shown by your airy and partnery Libra ascendant. Detachment is a key theme for you to be able to put all the other stuff into perspective. Sounds interesting though.
So cool that you noticed! Haven't thought of it big picture like that.
Although his chart has Mercury conjunct Uranus which I think of as very "airy".
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  #30  
Unread 12-19-2019, 07:36 PM
PlutorisingLee PlutorisingLee is offline
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Re: Mental illness and a wedding

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Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
Think of everything Uranus can mean. Then, go towards the positive versions.

Change. Changing structures. Non-traditional. Common causes.

Perhaps you two would do best to deliberately plan on not having a conventional relationship, if you weren't already doing so. Your idea that getting married or at least cohabitating would make you a more stable couple is a conventional assumption. It won't make the two of you a conventional couple. It will just make you miserable trying.

That doesn't necessarily mean you can't marry or cohabitate, but if you do, you have to do it on your terms. With plenty of personal space, too.

You might also find it a good relationship if you're working on a common cause together. Is there any cause that you both believe in, and are willing to work for?
Luckily just us being together is already unconventional so no need to do that...I will do my best to not impose any framework on this relationship and to let it be what it is. I'll also stick to my values as much as I can.
Still...That huge desire to settle down and build something lasting is just well..HUGE.

Common cause..We have some strange dream of humanitarian action regarding education systems. I also would like a business together or some project that is creative...See that is the issue! A lot of lofty ideas and in practice it all gets out of hand.

Would you advise doing any business together? Especially with those hard aspects to Jupiter in the Synastry? I would really like to try that.
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  #31  
Unread 12-19-2019, 11:22 PM
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Osamenor Osamenor is offline
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Re: Mental illness and a wedding

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Would you advise doing any business together? Especially with those hard aspects to Jupiter in the Synastry? I would really like to try that.
If you do business together, you'll have to be together all the time. Much more intensely together than if you were just business partners or just romantic partners. Many times more intensely than if you were just living together.

You already need so much personal space for both of you that living together is a challenge. It's already inadvisable that you consider any permanent arrangements before you've been together for a couple of years (considering the usual lifespan of relationships with Uranus-Venus). Having a business together would be an even bigger commitment than cohabitating.

So no, probably not a good idea. And then there's the way you described the relationship as having lots of ups and downs. That's not the kind of relationship you should have with a business partner. If ups and downs in your personal relationship spill over into your business relationship--and they will--that would be greatly detrimental to your business.

For a common cause, it would probably work better if you both join some kind of effort, so that you're in a bigger group than just the two of you, and the group's efforts don't depend on your relationship.
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Private messages welcome if they're moderation-related matters or personal messages for me, but please do not send me astrological questions or chart reading requests. I only answer those on the forum, in my practice, and on my blog at https://www.thebearsnose.com/, a separate site from this one.

Not receiving an answer to your natal chart-based question? You are welcome to submit it to the Ask the Astrologer feature on my blog, provided that it follows the feature's ground rules.

Last edited by Osamenor; 12-20-2019 at 01:08 AM. Reason: typo
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  #32  
Unread 12-20-2019, 01:39 AM
wan wan is online now
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Re: Mental illness and a wedding

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Originally Posted by PlutorisingLee View Post
He is the Pluto rising one yes. I'll say anti-social personality, prone anger and to risk seeking.
This doesn't sound like mental illness to me, more like personality disorder (as someone mentioned). I dont know him well enough to tell you whether it's "ok" to marry him, but I honestly don't think stuff like that is a huge deal-breaker. A lot of people with questionable personality traits get married and manage to make it work.

Last edited by wan; 12-20-2019 at 02:07 PM.
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