How do your lifestyles and goals not match? (Not asking for specific details, because that could be identifying, but a general sense.) It's one thing if your lifestyles require different kinds of housing arrangements, or different setups in the home (for example, one of you plays loud music well into the night and the other works early shifts and needs to sleep). It's another if you simply have different professional goals (as long as those different professional goals don't require living in different places). Or if one of you wants kids and the other doesn't (from what you said up thread, it sounds like you both do--that's just an example). Or one of you can't live without pets and the other is allergic to them. Things like that.[\quote]
We are very different in all that you listed but that fades away and is not a big issue. We enjoy living together (on short term) and spending every moment together.
The issue is as I see it is that his philosophy is that we should continue living and making goals for ourselves (each as an individual). Although this sounds like a beautiful ideal and I agree with it...In practice that means often being divided about living far apart, spending long time away in long distance and so on...At the same time he can't stand us not actually being together and we do suffer for it.
Knowing this I find it hard to plan my life and goals and work because every such success is a failure for the relationship.
The only possible option is that one of us will compremise thier aspirations so we can be together.
Currently, I am more than willing to sacrifice but don't think it is right for me to do so...If at least in theory he isn't as willing to try and build his life around me as well. Especially as he is making new choices about work and living while I'm already responsible for long term plans that started years ago.
I truly believe this is due to his strong held beliefs and individualism and not his lack of care for me. He does a lot for me and for us...He just doesn't believe in happiness and needs my support. It is a slow process. On top of that he would need many years before we can afford to have a family.
Am I wrong? Am I being a romantic? I am very willing to sacrifice a lot.
Security issues makes me think Moon. Moon/Pluto is big in this relationship. In the composite chart, Moon is conjunct Pluto. In your natal charts, both of your Moons are in what might be considered a wide orb or just out of orb (and out of sign, too, in his case) conjunction to Pluto. Your shared Pluto placement is essentially the midpoint of your Moon and his.
So yes, I would think any Moon-related issues are going to be big in this relationship. Potentially transformative, and potentially divisive. And with the properties of both Moon and Pluto being what they are (plumbing the depths of the unconscious), you're mutually stirring up whatever is deeply unconscious for both of you.
Yes. Very deep work and a lot of flashbacks to trauma. A lot of healing too. It is very binding as well.
Another very strong signature on your relationship is Uranus-Venus. Both of you have Uranus involved with your own Venuses--a tight trine in your case, sharing a stellium in his--and your composite chart has a Uranus-Venus sextile. Relationships with a Uranus-Venus signature have a reputation, among relationship astrologers, for starting quickly, with great infatuation, and ending just as suddenly, usually after no more than a year or two. They can be longer lived in some cases, particularly if Saturn also has a strong involvement, but this happens often enough with Uranus-Venus that it's called the divorce aspect.
Getting married or cohabitating won't change the undercurrents of the relationship. When couples gain more stability from a legally recognized relationship, it's because the basic stability was already there, and formalizing it just made it more so.
Knowing all this, I would suggest that you wait at least another year before tying the knot or signing a lease (although if you want to try a less formal kind of live together arrangement, one that will leave both of you an out if things suddenly change, that could be an option.) If you're still together a year from now and still want to be, then you could consider a more permanent arrangement.
Uranus also brings a need for plenty of space. Whether the two of you live together or not, it's vital that you both have your space. If you ever do live together, be sure you build lots of personal space for each of you into the arrangement, both physically and emotionally.
Oh! Interesting. I thought only hard Uranus aspects had this effect. Would spending time apart and separating over and over apply? In a way that kind of allows us to stay together and perhaps "plays" Uranus.
I also see a huge energy issue. Just being in same room is like living in high speed motion and so time apart is needed.
And isn't Neptune right there with Uranus?
So basically I'm unsure how much of my plans and gaols should be balanced and conpremised here.
It does look like every time I was willing to make choices from the point of unconditional love...The trust grew.
Am I a fool?
