Unemotional Goat

I just would like some chart feedback or some explanation on my way of interpreting this. You see, I am a pretty unemotional cold person. I am one of those proud Capricorn moons who think feelings are messy and will roadblock success. It takes A LOT for me to be emotional (I also don't have sense of humor but that's another story). My attitude in general, is put “your big girl panties on and get through whatever life throws your way”. It sounds harsh and it is, but it’s me. When hard times are about, I am a good person to have around because I keep cool, calm and collected. I’m not one to shy away from hard work and typically when I have a goal in mind, I achieve it whatever it takes. I don’t exactly fail well.

I appreciate my Cap Moon/Venus because in the end, it has gotten me through very difficult times, a chaotic childhood, parent abandonment, bankruptcy, etc. I also feel that it is the reason for my success in general, because I am such a driven person.

Except… there is one area where I just cry talking about it. My chart is not exactly the poster of fertility. My husband and I have been trying to have children now for almost 5 years unsuccessfully. For some reason, on this particular topic, I can’t just get myself together and move past it. I have cried more on this than I have anything else ever, and the pain is just unbearable. It was even at the point where I thought I was going into a depression because of it, but thankfully I snapped myself out of it. As time goes by, I am getting better but I just can’t seem to accept the fact that we won’t have children.

To the point where, we are in the hands of fertility doctors right now and I delay doing the treatment because we can only afford to do one and my fear is that if unsuccessful, then I will need to accept it’s over and I don’t want to accept defeat.

So my question is, am I unable to control my emotions on this subject because of my afflicted 5th house? Could it be karmic in nature perhaps? I just don't understand why I can't just swallow that pill.

I am very sorry to hear of your dilemma.
Since Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, very often it seems that individuals born under that sign tend to be commonly put through the 'school of hard knocks'. Assuming that you have already been tested for any medical problems associated with your fertility, I can only really conclude that this is a karmic issue. That is often the reason for personal blockages and limitations.

The various afflictions in your chart denote the challenges you are meant to experience for the purposes of your Soul growth. If you cannot accept that explanation then you are merely setting up resistance to being able to heal and move on. This may sound harsh, but let me explain.

Being the pragmatic Capricorn you are, you may not believe in the Soul and it's purposes; many people continue to cling to the belief that life is all about the personality, but really it is not.

I bring your attention to the implications of Saturn in your chart:
We can see by the aspects of Saturn that he is very much of an afflictor for you.
Being joined with both Mars and Pluto, and in square aspects to your Moon and Venus represents a highly dynamic challenge in the life.

It would appear that there are underlying issues for you relating to your femininity or motherhood. What do you fear about becoming a mother. Not being responsible enough? Such lessons are suggested by your NN in Cancer: that which you are meant to be developing in this life. South Node with Venus shows the need for releasing the seriousness and sense of obligation in life that accompanies your Capricorn energy.

There could also be an imbalance underlying the issues between motherhood and your need to be of importance in your own right [the obsession with financial security]. Faith may be another underlying challenge.

All the other factors in the chart would need to be revealed to be able to see the whole picture; you can't just look for the answer from one factor. Also you need to have a serious look inward to search out the inner causes of your dilemmas.

In this situation you definitely need to cry, to release the build-up of emotions; you need to realize that this is not weakness, but a very viable tool for eventual healing. As you learn to release and let go, perhaps you will learn better ways of working with your emotions, rather than against them.

Life does bring to us all many 'jagged little pills' and a big part of our learning is about when to let go, rather than holding fast to principles that do not serve our higher good. JMO.

I can relate to your sadness and pain, with all of my heart. I have the Moon conjunct Mars in the 8th in Capricorn. I have Saturn conjunct neptune in Libra, both Conjunct Sun in Scorpio in the 6th house. I met a wonderful man during my first Saturn return. We are still married 35 years later. But from age 30 to age 35, I tried as hard as i possibly could to bring a pregnancy to term. It was just heartbreaking and depressing.

Then at age 35, during a Jupiter return, which went through my 12th and over my Jupiter conjunct my ascendant, I 'happened to' run into a pregnant woman who needed to find a family for her child. She allowed us to be in the delivery room when he was born, and we went home with our 2 day old bundle of Joy, 6 months after meeting her. [ He is an Aries/Taurus, just like my husband, and we are about to go have Turkey dinner at his home with his wife and newborn baby. ]

At age 40 we lucked into another amazing situation and adopted our beautiful baby girl, who is now 23. And the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing soul I could have ever hoped for.

Incidentally, I have found that babies that are adopted have very solid connections to their adoptive families charts. My daughters ascendant is exactly conjunct my natal Venus. And I know her exact time of birth because I was in the delivery room.

I was so devastated when I kept having infertility issues. I had surgery to clear my tubes, took 3 years to finally get pregnant, then had 2 miscarriages. It was the worst time of my life. But now I look back on it with 'happiness' because if it were not for that, then my two gorgeous, loving wonderful kids would have never been ours. I can't imagine that.

So please do not limit yourselves by assuming that you need to be the ones to incubate your babies.

Can I suggest trying to connect with your Pisces sun? And allow yourself to cry, it can be healing. There are many ways to motherhood, and the easy path is not the one you are on but you need to allow yourself to believe. Take that one fertility chance and also explore adoption.

Work on healing the issues of your past family so you can enjoy the one you have and dream of with your partner. Fertility issues are often compounded by stress and your childhood didn't help that (which can be seen also in your 3rd and 4th houses.

Yes moon in cap is about restraint and high standards. If one of those standards is HOW you become a mom, let go of that (with tears) and focus on becoming a mom. Also while your moon is in cap it is also in your 5th house. Work in relating to that: playful, creative. That is in your moon also. So go have fun however it is you define that. I have the same advice for your Venus and mercury. Focus on the traits they gain from the house position (not just the sign). I think this will help a lot with the issues in the previous 2 houses and heal the becoming a mom issue so you can be one. Councilling on your childhood & issues of your mom (what she was or wasnt, what she did or didn't do) and learning to cry and release it is also good in opening yourself up to become a mom (whatever route that requires).

Thank you very much for you reply .: smile:

kimbermoon said:

I am very sorry to hear of your dilemma.
Since Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, very often it seems that individuals born under that sign tend to be commonly put through the 'school of hard knocks'. Assuming that you have already been tested for any medical problems associated with your fertility, I can only really conclude that this is a karmic issue. That is often the reason for personal blockages and limitations.

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kimbermoon said:

There could also be an imbalance underlying the issues between motherhood and your need to be of importance in your own right [the obsession with financial security]. Faith may be another underlying challenge.

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My husband and I have both been tested and there is no root cause for our fertility issues unfortunately. I try as much as possible to learn my Saturn lessons no matter how hard they are, but this one I struggle with. So far in life, I’ve had two goals: Become financially secure and provide the childhood I never had to my kids. Essentially, I would not be my parents.

So first thing I tackled was becoming financially secure, I had a lot of hurdles in this area (Saturn in 2nd afflicted never made it easy) but after working very hard, I reached the point where I have a great career and a decent salary. Once secure financially, we began trying for children, which almost 5 years later is not happening.

I am trying to embrace the pain and understand the reasons behind these karmic lessons, but it just seems so unfair. I have no siblings and my parents don’t really care for me. I think that for these reasons building my own family has had such a high importance to me.

katydid said:

I can relate to your sadness and pain, with all of my heart. I have the Moon conjunct Mars in the 8th in Capricorn. I have Saturn conjunct neptune in Libra, both Conjunct Sun in Scorpio in the 6th house. I met a wonderful man during my first Saturn return. We are still married 35 years later. But from age 30 to age 35, I tried as hard as i possibly could to bring a pregnancy to term. It was just heartbreaking and depressing.

Then at age 35, during a Jupiter return, which went through my 12th and over my Jupiter conjunct my ascendant, I 'happened to' run into a pregnant woman who needed to find a family for her child. She allowed us to be in the delivery room when he was born, and we went home with our 2 day old bundle of Joy, 6 months after meeting her. [ He is an Aries/Taurus, just like my husband, and we are about to go have Turkey dinner at his home with his wife and newborn baby. ]



At age 40 we lucked into another amazing situation and adopted our beautiful baby girl, who is now 23. And the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing soul I could have ever hoped for.

Incidentally, I have found that babies that are adopted have very solid connections to their adoptive families charts. My daughters ascendant is exactly conjunct my natal Venus. And I know her exact time of birth because I was in the delivery room.

I was so devastated when I kept having infertility issues. I had surgery to clear my tubes, took 3 years to finally get pregnant, then had 2 miscarriages. It was the worst time of my life. But now I look back on it with 'happiness' because if it were not for that, then my two gorgeous, loving wonderful kids would have never been ours. I can't imagine that.

So please do not limit yourselves by assuming that you need to be the ones to incubate your babies.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to respond Katydid and I am so sorry to hear you had to go through the painful journey of fertility yourself but happy to hear that you became a mother in the end. For some odd reason, I get anxiety when I think that my blood line will stop at me. You are right though; I need to let that go. Adoption was never something my husband and I discussed, I am not sure why. I guess for some reason I was so very stubborn that I will have my own child that we never explored it but we really should.

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy your family and your new addition

dowhanawi said:

Can I suggest trying to connect with your Pisces sun? And allow yourself to cry, it can be healing. There are many ways to motherhood, and the easy path is not the one you are on but you need to allow yourself to believe. Take that one fertility chance and also explore adoption.

Work on healing the issues of your past family so you can enjoy the one you have and dream of with your partner. Fertility issues are often compounded by stress and your childhood didn't help that (which can be seen also in your 3rd and 4th houses.

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Thanks so much dowhanawi. I have heard this many times that I need to deal with my childhood issues in order to overcome this. While I do feel that my childhood has helped shape the way I am as a person, I just don’t want to re-live it, which has always been a fear of mine with counselling. Recently, I have reconnected with a dear cousin of mine who was present during my childhood and who will sometime remind me of the experiences we had (our fathers are twins so we were always together) and I have a hard time even with that. She will remember events that I have completed blocked off.

You do bring up things that I should focus on, being creative and having fun. The reality is, my life is always “work no play”.

I should also mention that I don't seem to connect with my sun much, aside from my love of music & arts.

Originally Posted by dowhanawi
Work on healing the issues of your past family so you can enjoy the one you have and dream of with your partner. Fertility issues are often compounded by stress and your childhood didn't help that (which can be seen also in your 3rd and 4th houses.

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Prettypower said:

Thanks so much dowhanawi. I have heard this many times that I need to deal with my childhood issues in order to overcome this. While I do feel that my childhood has helped shape the way I am as a person, I just don’t want to re-live it, which has always been a fear of mine with counselling.................

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Hi,
I've waited before answering because of the essence of the reply that does not always find acceptance in astro. circles.

I work with the NON_PHYSICAL astrological point known as Black Moon Lilith. It represents the apogee of the Moon in its orbit of the Earth. Amongst other qualities it has shown itself to reveal much about the difficulty in expressing those deepest (and hidden) feelings in relationship with manifestations on Earth. Its MEAN lilthposition appears to reveal much about the issues of 'the inner child'; i.e. the images the child carries with them of experiences which did/did not occur in pre-puberty/adolescence that can play havoc on their further life.

Without exploring what it may mean to you, can it be co-incidence that it is positioned on 16+*Sagittarius in your 4th house, where it sextiles Mars and inconjuncts Chiron( also therapy?), forming a YOD figure with an apex to/in the 9th house?

MEAN Black Moon Lilith has been observed in situations where one is physically blameless and/or can take and carry the blame for that which is not of their doing or fault: The opposite of Saturn, which is manifested proven guilt.

Has your husband undergone a medical diagnosis, or is the inability to conceive 'automatically' your fault and responsibility?
I am reminded of my son-in-law and his brother, who were born 9 and 13 years into their parents' marriage. My daughter conceived after 5 years. My s-i-l's brother and wife planned a.i. treatment. Although it could be genetic, the specialist said 'it takes but ONE cell in a production of millions to fertilise an egg.' It took the pressure off, and the sister-in-law conceived naturaly.

What has been noticed too often with difficulties in conception, is that the act of love versus and/or is replaced by the act of conception. The male, especially, can feel like a donor rather than a lover. Mars Ego can feel 'emasculated' and take its toll. Also, if the male partner's mind is more concerned with the career ladder, all his Mars energy can be invested in that area, which can have its effect upon the drive in producing children.

Venus in Capricorn does not have a good reputation where giving lovey-dovey affection is concerned, although it's marvellous providing the well-groomed status desired. There could be a necessity to lower your defence barriers if you want to conceive.

If you are both physically fit (Libra influence on hormones) the real question to ask yourself is whether you really desire/want a child, or whether it is just to prove your 'womanhood'. Every parent will tell you that it's a full-time job in itself without any guarantee whatsoever that all will be well forever. That, initself, can sometimes get in the way of a career-minded person and/or couple. There's a square between the planets associated with home and career life in the chart shown.

Returning to the influence of MEAN Black Moon Lilith. It is now transiting Libra. You may find that it will exert an influence upon the natal squares through to April next year, during which time much hidden will find a way to surface and reveal itself that you may have chosen to ignore as if it never existed. This, together with the long-term transit of Pluto to natal Moon can finalilse the influence of past behaviour patterns for good.

From personal experience I can say that admitting 'the inner child' and its experiences back into one's self instead of continuing to self-deny them, can, in itself, provide a miracle.

Prettypower said:

So my question is, am I unable to control my emotions on this subject because of my afflicted 5th house?

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It's a curious question because emotions aren't meant to be controlled.

Emotions exist to give us 'messages' or feedback about life. If we shut down to the messages of our life how do we know to change our behaviour. For example, I had a friend suffering great depression and misery because she didn't like her marriage. So she went and got antidepressants to get rid of the feeling and consequently remains unhappily but drugged up in the marriage with her adulterating husband.

But your question intuitively suggests to me why you can't get pregnant. Because it's a process that you can't control. If you read Louise Hay's book, who promotes that most physical illness/debilitations occur due to psychological issues, you'll find that infertility is connected to lack of vulnerability and that fits perfectly with capricorn, saturn and your natal chart.

But this is all going to be resolved over the next few years by transits. Transitting pluto headed over your natal moon last March and will make another pass in January and then a further hit late in 2016. That's a very powerful transit in bringing up emotions, the past and relationships with your mother and other females. It will likely (very painfully) help you uncover many of your past experiences and begin to experience the highs, lows and benefits of emotions. Further on pluto squares to libra mars and then saturn while transitting uranus is already doing this by opposition from aries.

It'll all work out in the end and the less you resist, the easier it'll be.

Good luck!!

Inside Out Orange said:

It's a curious question because emotions aren't meant to be controlled.

Emotions exist to give us 'messages' or feedback about life. If we shut down to the messages of our life how do we know to change our behaviour. For example, I had a friend suffering great depression and misery because she didn't like her marriage. So she went and got antidepressants to get rid of the feeling and consequently remains unhappily but drugged up in the marriage with her adulterating husband.

But your question intuitively suggests to me why you can't get pregnant. Because it's a process that you can't control. If you read Louise Hay's book, who promotes that most physical illness/debilitations occur due to psychological issues, you'll find that infertility is connected to lack of vulnerability and that fits perfectly with capricorn, saturn and your natal chart.

But this is all going to be resolved over the next few years by transits. Transitting pluto headed over your natal moon last March and will make another pass in January and then a further hit late in 2016. That's a very powerful transit in bringing up emotions, the past and relationships with your mother and other females. It will likely (very painfully) help you uncover many of your past experiences and begin to experience the highs, lows and benefits of emotions. Further on pluto squares to libra mars and then saturn while transitting uranus is already doing this by opposition from aries.

It'll all work out in the end and the less you resist, the easier it'll be.

Good luck!!

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Thank you so much for your insight, I have never read any Louise Hay's books but she seems really interesting.

The Pluto conjunct Moon/Vega transit gives me anxiety. I read a very scary article about it and now I am completely terrified.

Frisiangal said:

Hi,

From personal experience I can say that admitting 'the inner child' and its experiences back into one's self instead of continuing to self-deny them, can, in itself, provide a miracle.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to provide insight. My husband has gone through medical testing as well and we were both diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Of course, I blame myself and he blames himself but overall we agree blaming doesn’t help any and it is our problem together. For sure, I am a very career minded individual, a workaholic to be quite honest. In all fairness though, it became worst for me after I was diagnosed with infertility in 2012. With my goal of creating our family sidetracked, I needed something else to focus on. Kind of like, we’ll if I can’t be a mom, then I must become someone with an important status.

My husband is not career driven like me at all. He has a good job but is not as dedicated to work as I am. I am pretty confident in saying he would be a better parent than I would ever be. I will be a great provider, disciplinarian and don’t get me wrong, I will love my children with all my heart but my husband (Libra Sun, Leo Asc, Virgo Moon, Venus and Mars) will be a much more hands-on kind of parent. Had we been both career obsessed like I am, then I would have never agreed to have children. We wanted to have children because we both felt that together, we would bring different qualities to the table and be good parents. Having both had chaotic childhoods, neither us would have agreed to bring children to this world had we felt that we would not be good parents.

Mean Lilith moon is very new to me. I have heard it a lot but never quite understood her significance. I try to please my inner child quite a bit and have been told I should by astrologers and psychologists alike, but I find it difficult to do because fun is such an odd thing for me.

I just want to say this: Whatever your idea and plan is for your parenting and the visualization of what your child and your home will be like with a child is.....I gotta say...an illusion. It's speculation. whether you have a biological child or an adopted child it will NOT be 'neat.' It cannot be 'controlled.' It will be an adventure.

It's like a box of chocolates....you never know what you're gonna get. Seriously.

When you become a mother you are transformed. This is true whethr or not the child is biological or adopted. You will be expected to sacrifice. First you will sacrifice your energy, then your time, then your routine, possibly your sex life (depending upon the sleep habits of the baby), your vacation plans, your savings plan, then your illusions......

YOu must be ready, willing and able to become 'the mother.' The protector....the one who nurtures and nourishes. Always there....metaphorically. The child will utterly depend upon you. Have you ever had a dog? Well it's like that except multiplied by 1000. The child can't be left alone till he/she is at least 8 years old. You will live for your child.

And within this process you have to retain your own identity. And keep your husband relatively satisfied in the ways he's used to.

And HE may have to learn how to be a father....and he will have to have both responsibility and authority. The reason there are so many stories of bad childhoods is that it's freak___ hard to be a good and cherishing parent....especially when you get "sass" from the child. You will find yourself in unchartered territory and may find your 'mother's words' coming out of your mouth. That is a SCARY moment.

Astrologers know what other people don't: your child's psyche comes with it's own schematic. It may or may NOT be compatible with yours. An adopted child could have a better compatibility with your than a biological child....or not....
it's just a crapshoot. THAT is why the house of CHILDREN is the SAME house as the house of GAMBLING!!

So......still want to do it?
LIN

Lin said:

I just want to say this: Whatever your idea and plan is for your parenting and the visualization of what your child and your home will be like with a child is.....I gotta say...an illusion. It's speculation. whether you have a biological child or an adopted child it will NOT be 'neat.' It cannot be 'controlled.' It will be an adventure.

It's like a box of chocolates....you never know what you're gonna get. Seriously.

When you become a mother you are transformed. This is true whethr or not the child is biological or adopted. You will be expected to sacrifice. First you will sacrifice your energy, then your time, then your routine, possibly your sex life (depending upon the sleep habits of the baby), your vacation plans, your savings plan, then your illusions......

YOu must be ready, willing and able to become 'the mother.' The protector....the one who nurtures and nourishes. Always there....metaphorically. The child will utterly depend upon you. Have you ever had a dog? Well it's like that except multiplied by 1000. The child can't be left alone till he/she is at least 8 years old. You will live for your child.

And within this process you have to retain your own identity. And keep your husband relatively satisfied in the ways he's used to.

And HE may have to learn how to be a father....and he will have to have both responsibility and authority. The reason there are so many stories of bad childhoods is that it's freak___ hard to be a good and cherishing parent....especially when you get "sass" from the child. You will find yourself in unchartered territory and may find your 'mother's words' coming out of your mouth. That is a SCARY moment.

Astrologers know what other people don't: your child's psyche comes with it's own schematic. It may or may NOT be compatible with yours. An adopted child could have a better compatibility with your than a biological child....or not....
it's just a crapshoot. THAT is why the house of CHILDREN is the SAME house as the house of GAMBLING!!

So......still want to do it?
LIN

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To be honest Lin, I always wanted to have children, my WHOLE life; up until I studied my chart. My 5th is so afflicted, I sometimes fear I would be burdened by my own children and be a terrible mother. I also fear my children would be afflicted as well.

I’m conflicted. I have this intense desire to be a mom, pro-create with my husband who I love very much, have the little family I always wanted and at the same time, I have an intense fear of it.

You see, my husband and I live great life. We love pretty shiny things and have lots of it. We sleep in on weekends and both live a lifestyle where we pretty much do what we want when we want. We’ve been together for over 13 years and our relationship is one of the best I’ve ever seen. There are times when I think that children would change that and I get really, really scared about it. I know though that whatever work required, we would do it I’ve never been one to shy of hard work but it is scary.

My personality is a rather unique one so I know I wouldn’t be the perfect cancer mom.

Funny you mention the dog; we do have a dog which we acquired in 2011. I remember before we got Yoshi, I was so excited to get a little fur ball that would love me unconditionally and come sit on my lap every day. Well, lo & behold, Yoshi is not that kind of dog at all. In fact, he hates to cuddle or be picked up and he bites. You are right, you think you have an idea, but it’s not like that at all- illusions!

Off topic, but where do dogs show in someone’s chart? We treat our dog like our child, would he show in my 5th?

Lin's description is very accurate----except for the part about how much LOVE one feels towards the annoying, crying, needy infant. There is nothing like it. No matter how much one loves their partner, their parents, their pets, there is nothing like the inordinate amount of love one feels towards their baby. Just my opinion

katydid said:

Lin's description is very accurate----except for the part about how much LOVE one feels towards the annoying, crying, needy infant. There is nothing like it. No matter how much one loves their partner, their parents, their pets, there is nothing like the inordinate amount of love one feels towards their baby. Just my opinion

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That is what I hope Katydid, and why despite my many fears and warnings, I still want to be a mom

Prettypower said:

That is what I hope Katydid, and why despite my many fears and warnings, I still want to be a mom

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I have the moon in Cap with Mars tightly conjunct it, in my 8th. And I love my 2 kids with all of my heart. Capricorn Moons can be very lovely parents.

You have a nice 5th house, in many ways. Saturn the ruler, is in it's exaltation in Libra, and trining the Sun. It trines an angular Neptune in Sag, And it is in a mutual reception with Venus, conjunct the Moon in the 5th. So there are some beneficial attributes seen in this 5th house. I see a very protective Mother, who would be a bit of a worrier, and maybe hover a bit too much, but a very devoted and attentive one as well.

I see no reason for you to fear your abilities and capabilities as a mother, if you decide to become one. You are capable of a great amount of sensitivity and self sacrifice. And you would put that Moon sextile Jupiter in Scorpio into solid action. I see a very communicative and endearing mother who would teach compassion and spiritual principles and ethics, by the way she lives her life.

I was the teen girl who hated babysitting but knew I wanted to be a mom. I am now 40 with 6 kids ranging from 19years to 19 months and I agree. It just happens, you just become mom and its amazing as long as you realize you are not in control lol. You take what comes and make the best of it. You laugh, you cry and you do lots if laundry. I don't entirely believe in am afflicted house. Every part has negatives and positives. The negatives are journeys we can suffer through or learn from. Your 5th house afflictions are likely about what you have been going through. Learn from it and the positives will come shinning through. I worry more about the people shoes charts are to easy. They rarely grow.

Katydid,
Love: I was lucky. I was born a 'mother.' I didn't necessarily want a child when I got pregnant and I didn't have any idea of how to do motherhood....and I had twin girls.
when I saw them I 'fell in love. ' Period. But I am a Leo with Venus and Jupiter in Cancer.

I am SO lucky with these placements as I has the Capricorn MOTHER. What a piece of work. She never mellowed her whole life. Had one child ....me....and it was as though it was the toughest job in the world. I was never sick, got good grades in school, never in trouble, never asked for anything because i knew I wouldn't get it....and if my mother ever laid out any money for me she kept a book with my "payments" in it...this practice began when I was about 11 and asked for money over and above my allowance. LOL.....

As a mom I did the EXACT OPPOSITE of everything my mother ever did. And guess what? It worked!! My daughters and I are friends. Real friends.
I made a LOT of sacrifices for them, but I love them....so it's like EVERYTHiNG I do for THEM is like doing that same thing for ME.!!!!! That is how much they are a part of me. They have their own lives now but we speak every day and at the end of every phone conversation or email we say, "I love you."

But I was lucky. I became an astrologer when they were 4 and therefore I was able to raise them in accord with what I saw in their chart....even when it seemed unfamiliar or uncomfortable to me.

Not everyone can do this. I am a philosopher at heart and also know I didn't know anything about raising children. But my mothering instinct took over completely.
Katy, that is probably the way it happened for you...right?
LIN
PS: by the way, the thing I said about my mother was pretty much the least damaging part of the experience I had. As I have Mars in Virgo high in my chart I sort of understood her wanting to get paid back (until I was a mom and then I realized how stingy she was).....the other stuff was worse....the lack of affection, lack of approval, making me feel like an intruder between her and my father - who was abusive in other ways- having to beg her before she allowed me to go to religious instruction to receive my holy communion and confirmation - making me feel every thing I wanted or wanted to do was stupid or worthless.
Now I realize that there was an element of jealousy in her.....seeing me grow up with much more than she had .... plus I was more attractive and more independent and didn't want to 'emulate' her....which was probably my worst sin according to her. BUT being a Capricorn she actually 'thought' she was a good mother. Really. Seriously. She had NO objectivity about herself. She had no idea what she was doing.
(by the way she had about 5 planets opposing her Neptune. So....clueless... but thought she was very smart because she could do the NY Times crossword puzzle.

I tell you these things because it's almost impossible to see our own shortcomings as a parent. It is not natural to examine our own parenting skills if our "internal voice" tells us we are "right."
My mother always thought she was right. She never once apologized to me for ANYthing in her whole life.

I changed this with my daughters. It turned out to be a very important 'component' in the mother-child dynamic.

To the Sun in PIsces Cap moon: Don't forget your Sun in Pisces. It is a very sensitive sign but it IS unduly influenced by that which is around it.

I deliberately made my post sound hard....because it is hard to be a really good parent if it's not natural. But it is possible. You have to dig down beneath the fear and the programming. Some people can do this and some can't.

What is absolutely sure is that although a baby usually won't change your financial situation right away, it does change your life....especially your 'daily routine'. This is inevitable unless you have an 'au pair' who takes care of your child all the time.
But then, why have one? there's no easy answer to this issue.
YOu have to have a reserve of LOVE that is earmarked for a 'child'. If you feel you don't have this, the fear of having to do this job may be partly responsible for your not getting pregnant. Not 100% responsible...but first comes the thought and then the action. If you are terrified you will fail.....well....that is a problem you need to address with a professional. In my opinion anyway.
LIN

Lin said:

Katydid,
Love: I was lucky. I was born a 'mother.' I didn't necessarily want a child when I got pregnant and I didn't have any idea of how to do motherhood....and I had twin girls.
when I saw them I 'fell in love. ' Period. But I am a Leo with Venus and Jupiter in Cancer.

I am SO lucky with these placements as I has the Capricorn MOTHER. What a piece of work. She never mellowed her whole life. Had one child ....me....and it was as though it was the toughest job in the world. I was never sick, got good grades in school, never in trouble, never asked for anything because i knew I wouldn't get it....and if my mother ever laid out any money for me she kept a book with my "payments" in it...this practice began when I was about 11 and asked for money over and above my allowance. LOL.....

As a mom I did the EXACT OPPOSITE of everything my mother ever did. And guess what? It worked!! My daughters and I are friends. Real friends.
I made a LOT of sacrifices for them, but I love them....so it's like EVERYTHiNG I do for THEM is like doing that same thing for ME.!!!!! That is how much they are a part of me. They have their own lives now but we speak every day and at the end of every phone conversation or email we say, "I love you."

But I was lucky. I became an astrologer when they were 4 and therefore I was able to raise them in accord with what I saw in their chart....even when it seemed unfamiliar or uncomfortable to me.

Not everyone can do this. I am a philosopher at heart and also know I didn't know anything about raising children. But my mothering instinct took over completely.
Katy, that is probably the way it happened for you...right?
LIN

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I have moon in Cap in the 8th, conjunct Mars. One might think I was a hard hearted mother. But maybe it was my Jupiter in the 12th in Taurus, conjunct my Asc, or my Venus in Sag, but I was a very compassionate and nurturing mom. Like you, My kids are grown but we are still very close and speak nearly every day.

And I was an astrologer before they were born. Astrology actually helped me through the landmines of infertility and the grief involved. When other astrologers would look at my tight brutal t-square to Pluto conjunct the So Node in Leo in my 4th, and offhandedly say " Maybe you are not meant to be a mother in this lifetime" I would implode internally. It just went against everything that I felt and wanted. It was a long hard road but then it worked out amazingly for us in the end.

Watching my grown son cuddling his newborn on Thanksgiving brought tears to my eyes. And this ol Scorpio/Cap does not cry that easily.