Wondering how I'm going to make it through......

T Saturn just came to conjunct my sun ON the day of my solar return. Now, transiting Pluto is 3 degrees away from squaring my moon, and T north node is 4 degrees away from conjuncting my Pluto. Once the Pluto square moon is perfected at 0 degrees, T north node will conj. my natal Pluto 2 weeks later...

I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years who I had a kid with... I got a job but was then fired after a month because I speak English and the business dealt with custom brokerage and dealing with truck drivers who are mostly Indian and speak Punjabi.. my ex boss told me they didn't understand me and felt uncomfortable so I wasn't a good fit... he assured me I did nothing wrong... (which made me more pissed. At least give me a **** good reason as to why I got fired... Other than discrimination, I think it had to do with money as well, but lets not get into that).

I'm starting to feel depressed.. I'm a single mother and am now unemployeed... It took me for ever to get a job... no body even called me back! This was the first and only place that did..... they hire anyone and everyone because more than likely you won't last the probationary period.

I feel depressed.. I hate my life It's no where near what I had panned for myself or what I wanted...... It's starting to get me down and I guess I just want some positive and constructive advice as to how to handle these transits for better, not for worse.

First off, I would recommend that you talk to a social worker about your options. You are probably eligible for some social assistance. Your ex BF is required to pay child support. I don't know whether you have family members whom you could stay with. Perhaps you are doing this now.

If you are a mother of a small child (assuming you have custody), you need to focus your attention on your child, and do what is best for him or her. "Hating life" at this point may allow you to ventilate some understandable frustration and anger, but you need to be a mature and loving mother to your child first and foremost. Here is a little person who truly needs and wants your love.

Your 5th house of children suggests that motherhood doesn't come easily to you, but for the sake of your child, you must do your best.

Whenever you anticipate a difficult transit, think through what that planet represents, and then work out what would be an empowering interpretation of that planet's energies. Then create some specific, manageable steps that you can take to manifest those energies.

Transiting Saturn always runs a reality-check on our lives. It demands absolute hard-headed realism about our material circumstances. If we feel that we are suffering under a Saturn transit, we need to see where we can implement concrete, material changes. For example, if our money doesn't work out, we need to start paying serious attention to each nickel we spend.

Transiting Saturn conjuncting our sun is apt to be a time when we feel lonely and depressed. This doesn't objectively mean that anything is wrong with us, but we will not easily let ourselves recognize the good things in our life under this transit.But since the sun is your core identity, think through the kind of stand you want to take for your life. Where would you like to be in 5 years time? Then list the specific steps you would need to take to meet your goals.

Saturn transits often involve a maturation process. You have just moved beyond your teenage years. Now you have the opportunity to think through what type of adult you want to be and what steps you must take to get there.

Transiting Pluto demands profound change. Resistence is futile. It is the energy of "out with the old" so that something new can take its place. This is a good time to get rid of anything metaphorically dead or dying in your life.

Although these transits are not easy, without them we would remain like small children, unable to take the usual problems that life throws at most people sooner or later. You will emerge a more experienced person.

How would you rate your computer skills? I think IT might be a good career choice, notably the sort of analytical work that requires you to ferret out problems. You have a strong third house, which deals with communications.

If you have the ability to complete your education I would strongly recommend it.

What points to motherhood not coming naturally to me? My whole life I've always been told in the motherly, nurturing type. I did (maybe even still do) have fertility problems. I am also unable to provide my son with the things i want to. I have a firm idea of what type of family i want for him but given the circumstances, i can't. It has to do with my age and the fact I'm not established fully yet, but i am trying my hardest. I'm in college

And i volunteer in a day care so my son can socialize and play in a different atmosphere, i was working full time too... i have thought about going to school for something else though, I'm not sure what i want to do though. My ex and i have joint custody so he doesn't pay child support. He gets him 3 days i get him 4.

Good for you, lilithofeden! Note that your OP didn't mention your child when you wrote, "I hate my life. It's no where near what I had panned for myself or what I wanted." Just imagine your son reading those words!

I was looking at your 5th house of children. Uranus-Neptune oppose Mars, so that's 3 "heavy" planets. I sometimes think Uranus in the 5th is an indicator of an unexpected child, but I can't swear to this. Mars suggests some aggravation insofar as your hopes and wishes for the future (11th house matters) are concerned. Neptune deals with both beautiful illusions and bitter disillusionment.

Saturn rules your 5th house of children and is located in the 5th. It can be associated with fertility problems. Your Saturn is very strong, as the traditional ruler of Aquarius; and it is well-aspected to beneficient Jupiter and your moon. This mixture suggests to me some ambivalence about an unexpected child, a feeling that your future is now blighted, and a capacity, nevertheless, for a positive if disciplinarian and more mental approach to parenting.

But is your posted birth date correct? If so, you are 20 years old. This seems a little premature for you to decide you can't give your son the things you want, or that you are doomed to victimhood. What children themselves want most in life is knowing that they are loved unconditionally and absolutely by both parents. As they grow older, poor children may feel keenly that they don't have the nice things that belong to children from wealthier families, but this is far less important than knowing their parents love them utterly and totally. And this you can give your son, independently of your income and employment status.

You are also modeling behaviours for your son. If you show him a cheerful and confident side to your personality, he will grow up realizing that life can be difficult for people, yet they can face their problems with courage and good humour. If you model a negative victim personality for him, he will start to internalize it. Is this what you want for your child?

With the ruler of your second house of money in your fourth house of "home" you might think about a home-based business. Are you at all set up for home day-care? The rulers of your 6th house of work and service, Saturn and Uranus, are also in your 5th house of children. Then Venus is also the house ruler of your second-house moon, another indicator of making money through one's home or parenting skills. Mercury, the ruler of your 10th house of career (in the sense of vocation) is in your third house conjunct Pluto. You seem to have a very analytical mind (albeit one turning to dark thoughts periodically) which is why I suggested above that IT might be a career option for you.

Jupiter in the 2nd house (ruled by Venus) should be an indicator that you have the capacity to earn money. With Saturn in the mix, I suggest you start reading up seriously on personal finance. Just now your money-house moon-Jupiter is being severely tested by transiting Pluto and Uranus, as you noted. But these transits will pass eventually, so now is a good time to learn how to manage your money once you get it. I am a big fan of personal finance guru Suze Orman, and you might look up her website, books, and TV program.

Note that your OP didn't mention your child when you wrote, "I hate my life. It's no where near what I had panned for myself or what I wanted." Just imagine your son reading those words!

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Yes, those words alone are quite selfish indeed, but the expectations and plans I have set for myself are not. I have an idea about the life I want to live (as 'who I am', which is a mother, a female, an employee, etc.), the examples I'll teach my son, what I want to provide for him in emotional and financial ways.

I sometimes think Uranus in the 5th is an indicator of an unexpected child, but I can't swear to this.

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My son definitely was unexpected. I was more concerned about having cysts or something on my ovaries, or in that area, than I was concerned about being pregnant when I started feeling symptoms. Surprise yes, but that didn't stop me from having my child and deciding to take on the responsibility of parenting and loving this life I created.

Mars suggests some aggravation insofar as your hopes and wishes for the future (11th house matters) are concerned.

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Yes, this is true too. I had so much more planned for myself as an individual. Going to University, saving for a house, getting married first, being in a stable financial situation.. I manage though, and I'm going to college now, trying to find a job that offers me the hours, income, and benefits I'm looking for (which is hard!! If it were me alone without a child then it would be easier), focusing my thoughts and energy on something that will put me in a place where I can provide my son with things, like a house on our own since I've never lived on my own before. That is something I would love.

This mixture suggests to me some ambivalence about an unexpected child, a feeling that your future is now blighted, and a capacity, nevertheless, for a positive if disciplinarian and more mental approach to parenting.

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I read a letter I wrote to my son when he was a newborn, and I told him that before he was born my life was a question mark. (?). Once he was born my life was then an exclamation mark! (!). This is really how it feels.. I had rules I set into place for myself at a young age for "when I was a mother". My fertility problems made me feel like less of a woman because I felt like all women should be able to have children.. it's human nature! But I couldn't, so I felt like less of a woman. I think that caused me to think a lot about actually having children and being a mother.

But is your posted birth date correct? If so, you are 20 years old. This seems a little premature for you to decide you can't give your son the things you want, or that you are doomed to victimhood.

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Yes, I am 20 years old. I had him when I was 18. You are right, it is too soon to decide i can't provide him with the things I wish I could; one day I probably can.

IT sounds cool, as a kid I used to make webpages, like a profile where I had to attach codes, pictures, special effects, etc. I got pretty good at it and I enjoyed being so meticulous. I can't decide what I want to do for sure yet though... quite honestly, I don't feel attracted to anything my local college offers. I found a private college I liked, it's a spiritual college that teaches holistic health, life coaching, meditations, and lots more; I would do the Holistic practitioner diploma, I've always been a health advocate, but it's really expensive. I think that is something I would do later in life once I already had an income.

I am pretty good with saving money and budgeting, but I just don't know how I'm going to get any right now. I'm actively job searching, but I think it would be a good idea to read up on budgeting "properly". I go through waves of feeling depressed, down, defeated to feeling strong, motivated and perseverance. I've been looking forward to this transit for a while because I knew I needed change in my life, but now I think it's makin me feel more insecure than secure.

I know once these transits pass I will be a lot more mature and responsible, but I just wish I can skip this phase and go to being mature and responsible lol. I know we as humans need it for our soul evolution though.