is it just me everytime or is it d synastry?

hmmm......my last relationship was with someone with venus/moon square uranus in hs chart(a player).....
it was REALLLLLLLLLLYYY unstable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!it's nt entirely hs fault(only 90% )....cz i too behaved immaturely........inspite of all that happened between us(mars conj pluto), i feel we were really compatible....i could talk to him for hours n hours together.....about anything under the sun........with no restrictions....he ws never judgemental.....never complained y like this, y that......

n nw i'm with a capricorn who gives me the stability i need, takes me out whenever i want, hsnt broken my trust yet but i cnt really open up with him and hv started feeling a lack of intensity.....

i'm nt supposed to do this or that....i have to act mature and feminine, dress as if i'm walkn the ram, eat as if i'm dining with obama, keep secrets as if i work for the FBI, bear blunt comments and say no to PDA.....i hv 2 follow guidelines 2 plz hm...nt tht he forces me bt 2 fulfill hs xpectations n mk hm feel loved... i'm unable to joke arnd him though it's bn more than a month that v're togther....rest all is fine but i do wish he were more expressive n emotional.....i'm nt even allowed 2 cry in public.....

i really wanna knw what went wrong with guy 1 and hw to improve my relationship wd my bf......

guy 1 -
current bf -
me -

"is it just me everytime............"

ah, yea,

you have a saturn/[pluto square,which shows a destructive childhood environment.it tends to give low self esteem because of these early experiences.
then you have a mercury conjunct venus showing a truly loving ,smart, happy creative spirit.
but with the venus/pluto midpoint conjunct mercury,what often starts as love turns into someting cold and cruel.this aspect also indicates that you have emotional blocks about your childhood at the least.

so ,yea, it is you.you will tend to get into destructive relationships that reflect your low self esteem.

your really have a creative and hot talent .but you own darkness allows manipulator and abusors(as that can be the only description of the behaviors you have acknowledged) to control you body and mind.

when one has such exhillarating emotional levels and such desperarate lows,ones like can be bipolar.

you are only a piece of meat to either of these guys.

so, try to find some counselling or support group were you can explore your own feelings of inadequacy.
you got it right in your question.it is you, so you need to work on yourself not relationships.you are very gifted and will always have people who want to love/lust after you.you have a sparkle that makes you a point of attraction.

work on yourself as relationships will reflect you new found self respect.

both of these guy's chart could be described as an iron fist coverd in velvet.

because of your own feelings of inferiority,you draw those to you,who want to hurt you rather than love you.

post midpoint composite charts for these two, if you want.

rahu

isn't saturn/pluto generational?......

everyone of my age has this aspect and not everyone is as unlucky as me in love relationships.... ?????????

this capricorn was seeing someonelse and perhaps still is....anyways, i'm planning to break up as soon as possible....i dnt really know what excuse he will be giving me which will make me melt and give him a second chance.......i've a tendency to forgive the one im with easily n overlook things........

i don't think he's a manipulator or abusor.....he cn be a bit controlling but im mostly ok with it......i need a guy like that to feel loved....not someone who lets me loose orelse i start with all sorts of dramatic scenes 2 gain attention....n i cn be very very domineering....

my childhood wasnt that smooth....my parents never spent any quality time with me....i used to be all by myself, locked up, studying studying studying, trying to please everyone around......they used to fight n thats' hw i developed a dislike for men in power......anyone, esp a guy including my dad, who tries dominating me gets a blow in the face......
one day i had to drop the facade n people had to experience some nasty moments with a differnt person.....since then, i'm very open with my feelings n hv changed dramatically over the past 2-3 years.....it's quite difficult to make out that i hv saturn in the 1st....uranian energy has gained more significance.....

it's true that i suffer from bouts of inadequecy from time to time......but im nt even that desperate for a relationship......i'm choosy n hv bn with 2 only guys till nw....n both of them turned out to be............

it's like almost everyone i know is a player.....most of my friends, acquaintances, almost everyone is dating/in a relationship for fun, sex, money, recreation, fame.......there r only a few committed people around........

players find people who love them n the serious ones meet cheats.......i successfully noticed this trend....the scorpio's no way an iron fist in a velvety glove.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

below are their midpoint charts......