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  #1  
Unread 09-06-2021, 04:04 PM
progressincompassion progressincompassion is offline
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carrying the wound of the family

I'm going thru a healing process, facing my deepest wounds and the deepest has to do with my emotionally unstable and abusive upbringing, which has caused me to subconsciously fear attachment in relationships. because my dad was my closest caregiver I had as a child, next to my grandmother, a lot of the attachment wounds stem from how our relationship has developed from first being very close and then thru challenging adversities, becoming emotionally distant.

Now as a young adult, I feel a strong urge to finally let go of this toxic attachment and feelings of responsibility for his pain that are still lingering in me. I feel that as soon as I can't let go of it, I won't be able to enter any strong, committed relationship in my life.

does anyone see the wound of my father that I carry with me? a common theme between us?
Thank you for any beneficial analysis!


first chart is my dads.
I don't know the time of birth but birthdate is: 29.12.1964, location: Wattwil, Switzerland

second chart, mine: 30. july 1996, 06:14 am, Wattwil, Switzerland




https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/ho...arva_invert=0&

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  #2  
Unread 09-06-2021, 06:53 PM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

Hi, dear progressincompassion.
I like your screen name.
If you will go to astro.com, you can make a synastry chart made that shows your natal chart in the center and then your dad's chart shows as a second ring around it.
Then upload that chart here.

It will be much easier that way to see how your chart meshes with your father's chart.
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  #3  
Unread 09-06-2021, 07:06 PM
progressincompassion progressincompassion is offline
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

here's the synastry chart of mine in in the inner and my dads on the outer circle.
thank you!

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Unread 09-06-2021, 08:02 PM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

Here is what I see. It is about your predisposition, your perception of your relationship with your father over time. And it is all in your natal.
The bright, loving young father, Sun in Leo, is exactly conjunction the Asc, the sensitive point on the house of your being, your essence. That experience washed over and enveloped you while he was a young father. As he became an older father, its symbol Saturn, is not at all so well dignified like bright and shining young father, Sun in Leo. Rather, your experience of the older father is one who is extremely uncomfortable in his skin: Saturn is in the sign of its fall, Aries. Saturn is also retrograde, so somehow not able to move forward with ease, perhaps looking backward instead of to the future. Not able to fulfill the obligations and responsibilities of the older father. And this is without regard for what really did or did not happen.

With these actors or parts in your psyche that filter how you see the world, you are innately inclined to see your father change from being more warm and accessible in his younger father years and more contracted, dissatisfied perhaps, certainly less well able to function as a matured older father.

And here is the good news.
The symbols for young bright and older father are in a very harmonious relationship. They are exactly trine to within one second. Very favorable. And I think this points to an inherent ease you possess to bring the estranged older father in your mind into connection with the energy of the young bright father that you remember and hold in your heart. There is great hope that all of this between you can be transformed *within you*. That there is really nothing that your father needs to do. Or maybe even can do.

As a first step, and if at all possible, I would think about considering your experience, your relationship with your father, less of a wound and more of an internal imprint. One that can be softened, reshaped, released. All by you. And I think you may already know the means by which this may happen: Progress in compassion.

I am truly wishing you the best.
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  #5  
Unread 09-14-2021, 06:24 PM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

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Originally Posted by IleneK View Post
Here is what I see. It is about your predisposition, your perception of your relationship with your father over time. And it is all in your natal.
The bright, loving young father, Sun in Leo, is exactly conjunction the Asc, the sensitive point on the house of your being, your essence. That experience washed over and enveloped you while he was a young father. As he became an older father, its symbol Saturn, is not at all so well dignified like bright and shining young father, Sun in Leo. Rather, your experience of the older father is one who is extremely uncomfortable in his skin: Saturn is in the sign of its fall, Aries. Saturn is also retrograde, so somehow not able to move forward with ease, perhaps looking backward instead of to the future. Not able to fulfill the obligations and responsibilities of the older father. And this is without regard for what really did or did not happen.

With these actors or parts in your psyche that filter how you see the world, you are innately inclined to see your father change from being more warm and accessible in his younger father years and more contracted, dissatisfied perhaps, certainly less well able to function as a matured older father.

And here is the good news.
The symbols for young bright and older father are in a very harmonious relationship. They are exactly trine to within one second. Very favorable. And I think this points to an inherent ease you possess to bring the estranged older father in your mind into connection with the energy of the young bright father that you remember and hold in your heart. There is great hope that all of this between you can be transformed *within you*. That there is really nothing that your father needs to do. Or maybe even can do.

As a first step, and if at all possible, I would think about considering your experience, your relationship with your father, less of a wound and more of an internal imprint. One that can be softened, reshaped, released. All by you. And I think you may already know the means by which this may happen: Progress in compassion.

I am truly wishing you the best.


first of all, thank you for your insightful, wise response!
I really appreciate you reminding me of the perspective of my own natal, my own perception and how I have the power to change my perception. it's a very empowering outlook to have on life.

my saturn in aries also resonates with my father who has excessive nervous aggression and impulsiveness and doesn't know how to be assertive in a calm saturn-like manner. which is not only my perception but also how other people experience him.
he also has the natal aspects: node square mars, node square pluto, mars square mercury, pluto square mercury, pluto square venus, venus square uranus etc. which could all indicate his inability to show affection (he has zero friends and avoids socializing), constant power struggles and anger issues, that he lets out on other people by blaming them and attacking their self-esteem.

me and my sister are still in therapy to get rid of the negative self-image ingrained in our subconscious, created by him constantly nagging and talking down on us and never mentioning anything positively encouraging. his words as a child felt hurtful like a sword, when the dad you looked up to as a hero suddenly switches and reveals his merciless evil side which was full of rage, those moments are partly suppressed and partly ingrained in my memory.
we're still in the healing process of the trauma of being abused by the only caretaker who we put all our love and trust in, being raised by a single father, struggling with his own insecurities and compensating with alcohol abuse and temper tantrum that he let out on us.

I still live with him due to financial reasons and being on the search of a suitable job, which I feel like I haven't dared to trust in my full potential yet, because that would mean detaching from the toxic bond to my father. It's an ambivalent bond we have, on one side the deep love on the other side which grows stronger the older I get, is the burden I feel from how it has affected my emotional wellbeing, my relationships, my mental health and is holding me back from moving on into my deep urge for creating my own life independently and actualizing my potential and purpose.

fortunately he stopped drinking since he got diagnosed with diabetis and other health issues.
and I think part of why I still live with him now that I'm 25 and could move out, is the child who was constantly trying to help him get out of alcohol abuse, change his negative mindset and so on. from an early age I dealt with serious psychological topics and put myself in a role of a therapist for my father.
and the fact that he told me, I'm his most important person in life and beside me, he has no one, this part of me still feels bad for the way he leads his life as a lonely victim and makes me feel responsible to look after him, which maintains this co-dependency.

he also has natal moon opposite jupiter and saturn in pisces, it fits his inclination to get addicted to self-destructive behaviour and habits, him always complaining about nobody helping him and how he always tells me that I should help him more with responsibilities in his life, which makes me feel this irrational weight of guilt and obligation for him, on my shoulders.

now as you suggested, seeing this as an internal imprint, it makes me think about my karma and how I can see this all as a necessary lesson for my own growth.

Also, I'm under some transits that could indicate necessary change to move forward, like:
Pluto conjunct Neptune
Chiron opposite Chiron
Chiron square Jupiter (which I also have natal)
Saturn opposite Ascendant
Saturn opposite Sun
Saturn sextile Saturn
Jupiter sextile MC
Jupiter opposite Mercury
Mars sextile Pluto
Mars trine Uranus

upcoming transits:
starting 22.9.21 : Pluto square MC
starting 23.9.21 : Mars opposite Saturn
starting 27.9.21 : Mars square Jupiter
starting 28.9.21 : Mars conjunct Chiron, Chiron trine Ascendant

It's been a long time since I craved deep transformation and change my life circumstance for the better, so I can finally feel more as an active creator instead of a victim of circumstances, which I was when I was a child.
for a long time I felt stagnant and trapped in my place in life but now I can feel how my faith, my dreams of a better future that I had as a child is coming back in a more realistic way.

Last edited by progressincompassion; 09-14-2021 at 06:42 PM.
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  #6  
Unread 09-16-2021, 05:20 AM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

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Originally Posted by progressincompassion View Post
I'm going thru a healing process, facing my deepest wounds and the deepest has to do with my emotionally unstable and abusive upbringing, which has caused me to subconsciously fear attachment in relationships. because my dad was my closest caregiver I had as a child, next to my grandmother, a lot of the attachment wounds stem from how our relationship has developed from first being very close and then thru challenging adversities, becoming emotionally distant.

Now as a young adult, I feel a strong urge to finally let go of this toxic attachment and feelings of responsibility for his pain that are still lingering in me. I feel that as soon as I can't let go of it, I won't be able to enter any strong, committed relationship in my life.

And you are still living together with him - not a child anymore, an adult responsible for yourself - earning your own money for your own physical existence.

First of all - if you got a health issue because you have your feet in cold water - the healing is only able to start - if you take your feet out of the cold water - otherwise nothing will help.

I had the same father - having the black belt in verbal karate - able to use words like a laser sword - and deeply knowing where it hurts most. Nevertheless I loved my father- as I could feel that despite all he caused in me and other family members - we were kinda of same emotional soul stuff and like from same home planet. But when I was 18 years old- I left home. And distance brought a healing and better understanding.

Moving home in your chart is since 4/3/2021 transit activated by transit-jupiter as your 5th house ruler by trine - retrograde now on same degree of your venus ruling your 4th house - real home and childhood experience. To support you to get out of this situation and to get on your own feet and to be and feel responsible for your own. Transit lasting until 11/15/2021 - and will be followed up next year by transit neptune - by square.

Your right transit-time has come for you - to get physically out of living at home together with your father.

It is not your task to change your father and you will never have sucess in this. It is your karmic task to liberate yourself from and to take responsibily for your own life and the task you have taken over for this life. Getting independant on your own. Pluto on special spiritual degree of 0° sag - sitting on cusp 5th house and on axis 5th/11th on 0° sag. Having brought with you into this life a special spiritual task.

But this task is not about helping and changing your father. It is more about - liberating yourself and to take responsibility on your own and for your own and to work on living and expressing your own true being. Ruler of 5th house - jupiter is in cap in 6th house at apex of a t-square - with aries saturn in 9th (to take leadership on your own and to expand own spirituality and wisdom) and northnode/ chiron conj. in 3rd house - a karmic and competitive relationship with siblings - 3rd house - and your inner wound to express yourself clearly what your needs are and to feel yourself as not good and intelligent enough - being very critical with yourself.

Mercury rules your 3rd house and also rules your 11th house - your task in social commitment -you feel an inner order for giving a personal contribution to. And mercury is still transit-actived by t-pluto now - by conjunct- to get you creative active. Pluto rules intercepted scorpio in your 4th and IC-house - a task and energy you have brought as a skill from another life to develop it and use it more in this life. You have a mediator skill with - being aware of 2 worlds- the visible and the invisible at same time.

But as long your both eyes are only looking on your father- you will never be lucky and never feel sense in your own life.






Your posted astro-seek synastry is illegible- grid below with both important planet placements - enabling to compare both easily for a reading is cut off and missing.


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File Type: jpg ! Chart PiC.jpg (95.7 KB, 27 views)
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Last edited by Zora; 09-16-2021 at 05:28 AM.
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  #7  
Unread 09-16-2021, 05:41 AM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

From a higher point of view and from soul level - to evolve yourself in this life for the most best - you exactly have and had the right father for bringing you on your own way - you have jumped in at point of your birth- with your father's saturn in your 8th house - people we know already from another life and agreed to meet again in this life for a transformation experience.

His saturn in your 8th house trines your mars in 11th house - as your midheaven ruler and way of evolving yourself. And his saturn squares your special pluto on 0°sag cusp your 5th house and axis 5th/11th. And his sun conj. your jupiter in cap in 6th house - squaring your aries saturn in spiritual 9th house.

His mars in your communication and sibling house 3rd squares your venus as main ruler of your 4th house. Still living together with him - will stay a continous challenge for your emotions and your soul.

But his mars in your 3rd house trines your neptune as your 9th house ruler- expanding own spirituality and wisdom. Neptune is the highest energy one experience - but also the addiction energy to get lost in alcohol abuse addiction and co-dependency.

From a higher point of view - you don't do your father a favour in helping him- and to do - what he has to do himself - and to solve his own issues - to get his own life task done.

You can't swallow meds for your father's healing and you can't heal his issues. A task one has brought along into this life - is only seen as done- if one has done it oneself.




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  #8  
Unread 09-16-2021, 08:25 AM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

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Originally Posted by Zora View Post
From a higher point of view and from soul level - to evolve yourself in this life for the most best - you exactly have and had the right father for bringing you on your own way - you have jumped in at point of your birth- with your father's saturn in your 8th house - people we know already from another life and agreed to meet again in this life for a transformation experience.

Unfortunately -due to missing accurate TOB the exact moon degree-placement is not visible. And if it would be a tight moon/neptune conj. he puts in your intercepted scorpio in 4th house.


But nevertheless this would explain your very deep emotionally feelings and emotional bond of true pure love on a high spiritual level below all issues you both had together.
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Unread 09-16-2021, 08:56 AM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

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Originally Posted by progressincompassion View Post

does anyone see the wound of my father that I carry with me? a common theme between us?
Thank you for any beneficial analysis!
A delicate question, but is the man you know as 'father' your real or step-father?

You have an aspect in the natal chart which has an above average correlation with 'a disassociation and disconnection to male parent' in the sense that the biological father is unknown (to the child). Circumstances can occur through which a pseudo father takes on the role of surrogate parent.

The same aspect appears in 'father's' chart. Perhaps the same thing?

Strangely both aspects appear in the signs that have a strong relationship with the father figure: one the absent Leo 'hero' one creates within; the other the Capricorn 'strict' parent.

The aspects are in a stress situation with each other. Your 'inner wound' (Chiron) in the 3rd house of family relationships squares his aspect.
Maybe not a true 'family' wound but felt through other reasons that produce(d) the situations they did.

The Moon-Uranus opposition to the same aspect in your chart would suggest an emotional 'disconnection' to the biological mother for reasons (un)known to yourself.
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Unread 09-21-2021, 05:32 PM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

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Originally Posted by Zora View Post
Unfortunately -due to missing accurate TOB the exact moon degree-placement is not visible. And if it would be a tight moon/neptune conj. he puts in your intercepted scorpio in 4th house.


But nevertheless this would explain your very deep emotionally feelings and emotional bond of true pure love on a high spiritual level below all issues you both had together.
Thank you so much for all the insights you brought to me so far, which truly helps my journey of discovering my authentic self and path in life. I definitely learned the lesson of how important taking responsibility is the hard way through the relationship with my father, so it makes sense that his saturn was in my 8th house since my birth.
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Unread 09-21-2021, 05:36 PM
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Re: carrying the wound of the family

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Originally Posted by Frisiangal View Post
A delicate question, but is the man you know as 'father' your real or step-father?

You have an aspect in the natal chart which has an above average correlation with 'a disassociation and disconnection to male parent' in the sense that the biological father is unknown (to the child). Circumstances can occur through which a pseudo father takes on the role of surrogate parent.

The same aspect appears in 'father's' chart. Perhaps the same thing?

Strangely both aspects appear in the signs that have a strong relationship with the father figure: one the absent Leo 'hero' one creates within; the other the Capricorn 'strict' parent.

The aspects are in a stress situation with each other. Your 'inner wound' (Chiron) in the 3rd house of family relationships squares his aspect.
Maybe not a true 'family' wound but felt through other reasons that produce(d) the situations they did.

The Moon-Uranus opposition to the same aspect in your chart would suggest an emotional 'disconnection' to the biological mother for reasons (un)known to yourself.
he is my real biological father.
the surrogate parent could be my grandmother who was kind of like a mother for me, since my parents split when I was 4 and I never emotionally connected with my mother because of her standoffish, distant attitude.
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