Hi guys,
I've been reading on this difficult aspect, its very interesting and has helped me understand why I can't seem to get through to someone who I hope to have a relationship with in the future. This person has Venus Conjunct Saturn in Virgo. He also has Sun conjunct Saturn in Virgo. Stellium in Virgo (4 planets).
A bit of history:
He was once one of my bosses, not anymore, I've moved to another department. I caught him watching me several times, he starred at me, maintained eye contacts and made excuses to talk to me in relation to work. I felt very attracted to him, but hardly showed my interest, I also felt very shy so I tried not to show too much. The complication at the time was that He was married and I was in a relationship. We didn't communicate about matters of attraction verbally, all our communication has been mostly eye contact and body language. Then I didn't see him for a long time and when I saw him again, the wedding ring was gone! Obviously, I wondered had it something to do with me? As I still was confused about my strong attraction towards him, I couldn't really show anything. I mentioned in one of my emails to him that I had a partner but I wanted to talk to him about his attraction towards me. He didn't answer back. I felt like he probably thought that I wasn't interested in him so I wrote again and I told him that I felt something for him too. But I also apologised if I hurt his feelings somehow and I said that lets just concentrate on work, and leave this behind us.
He knew how terrible I felt for my first email, so when I saw him again after that, he would give me quick glances as if waiting for me to come out my shell. I had gone back to thinking that this person was not the right person for me and I should concentrate on my relationship.
After that he continued giving me these intense eye contacts and I opened up a little, again just eye contact body language. But then I moved away from his department and months passed by, he didn't contact me. And I was going crazy. I wrote to him and I said I liked him, etc He didn't say anything. I wrote several emails, saying similar things, I also talked about me being in relationship and how I was a bit hesitant to take further step to meet him and talk to him. And then when I didn't receive any replies, I asked him if he could please send me an empty email if he wasn't interested, and he did.
So knowing about this aspect, I wrote an emotional email again. And I said that I was prepared to see if things between me and him could be developed. I told him I was prepared to end my relationship if things came to that. I had my doubts and fears, but ultimately I said I wanted him in my life. I asked him whether he had a fear of rejection? Why did he show me so much interest before and now nothing, I asked him to think about why he was so afraid to get hurt that he wouldn't even give this a chance. I told him happiness doesn't come to those who can't see past their own fears.
Something in my email must have got to him as I at last received an answer. Very cold tone. He, as I understand this now, is questioning my feelings for him. Whether they're true. He also asked why if he never expressed anything, talked to me about any of this, why then all these emotions, where all these feelings and emotions come from? He's making this so hard for me. Such a challenge. I feel like I've opened up so much, and yet he's still resisting. Hesitating. Questioning me. I do believe he has a low self esteem and everything that has been described previously in regards to this difficult aspect, I can see here too. I'm trying hard not to let his coldness get to me.
Does anyone have an advice that they can give to me? I feel like I'll have to keep giving him reassurances that I do feel this way and that my feelings are real and that he doesn't have to be a certain way for me to like him. I want him in my life and I know I will succeed, I hope. My Solar return for this year has a stellium -4 planets in 8th house,house of transformation and change. For next year I have pluto, sun and mars in 5th house and moon square pluto. This indicates some emotional transformation, strong emotions in a relationship. That I could only have if I were with him.
My birthdata are here:
4 january, 1979, 10:30 am, New Delhi, India.
Current location: Melbourne, Australia.
His I'm not quite sure about, I think he is born between 1-10 sep 1979, maybe with capricorn ascendant, don't know.
I use these data for him: 6 Septemeber, 1979, Melbourne, Australia, 12:30 pm.
Please please please, help me make sense of this person. I don't want him to push me away, I'm going to reach to him and get to his heart through all that coldness. I haven't seen him for 5 months so I miss him greatly. Most of what I know about him I've learned via astrology, so it scares me that I feel so strongly for him and yet I don't know very well. Our composite chart is strong too, venus conjunct pluto, mars conjunct pluto, mars conjunct pluto. In synastry, my north node is conjunct his sun, his venus, saturn all in my 7th house. His north node I believe is conjunct my saturn in vigrgo.
what can you tell me about all of this?
Thank you
/R