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  #1  
Unread 01-24-2011, 01:01 AM
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Wink Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects


I'm sure this has been discussed plenty of times, but I'm looking for a fresh perspective.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Venus/Neptune aspects, and the propensity of a native with this placement to be deceitful, at best, and unfaithful, at the very worst.

I've always felt this aspect rather strongly. I'm a Pisces rising, so Neptune rules my chart. My Venus is in domicile: in Libra in my 7th house.

My Venus in Libra in the 7th has made me very dependent on relationships. Venus Square Neptune makes me feel as if every relationship is fated. When I love someone, I give myself completely, body and soul, and yet, I've been somewhat deceitful in relationships in the past. I'm not only talking about cheating, but also things like withholding information, lying about past relationships, misrepresenting yourself, etc. I'm not proud of it, but behavior like this is quite common in people with this aspect.

I've definitely gotten better at dealing with this aspect, but it is an ongoing struggle. I still feel there is a need, a longing, even in a committed relationship, for something else. Neptune 's favorite saying seems to be: The grass is always greener on the other side. The negative Venus/Neptune aspects cloud reason, and it takes a great deal of self-control not to act on those impulses. So my question is: Is this aspect always accompanied by a pathological need for multiple partners? Is there an upside to this aspect?

Have any of you ever dated someone with this placement, and if so, how did they behave? Would you avoid dating someone with this aspect? I was in a relationship with someone with this aspect a few years ago, and they ended up cheating on me, so I broke it off. Go figure!

Do any of you have this placement, and if so, are you prone to infidelity and self-deception? How do you deal with the disruptive impulses?

/FD

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Unread 01-24-2011, 01:53 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

Interesting, FD--I've not thought of this before, but it bears watching. Does your Neptune aspect anything else?

One configuration I've seen that suggests multiple simultaneous relationships is Venus sextile or trine Mars (or possibly squared,) with Jupiter in the mix. The Venus/Mars give a libido. Jupiter says, if one relationship is good, several are better.

Neptune deals with the world of illusions and disillusionment. Your best aid will be whatever gives you a good reality-check. Probably Saturn.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 02:10 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

Thank you for your reply, waybread. My Neptune trines Jupiter, squares my Asc, and conjuncts my midheaven. There are no aspects between my Venus and Mars. I'm guessing it's Jupiter getting in the mix, somehow. My chart is in the "Read My Chart" thread if you want to take a look. My venus is very badly aspected, so that might be why I am experiencing this aspect this way.

I guess the aspect has to do more with self-deception in love, than deceiving other people. I also find that there is a lot of fantasizing going on with this aspect: waiting for your knight in shining armor, and being open to the possibility of throwing everything away to go live some kind of far-fetched adventure. There is a lot of escapism, too.

Then there's the constant idealizing. Nobody ever lives up to your unrealistic expectations, so you are constantly seeking out the person who does. Then there's the danger of putting the people you love in a pedestal, only to be disappointed when you finally see them for what they are, and realizing nobody can live up to your high standards.

I think the infidelity comes from wanting to live that romantic fantasy. Then again it depends on the signs involved, etc. It's all very fascinating.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 07:22 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

How great that you are developing some awareness of this situation!

As you know, nobody out there will ever "fit our pictures" and it is kind of unfair to another person to expect him to meet our needs. Heck, the guys are looking for Dream Girl out there to fit their pictures and meet their needs.

If we're lucky, we find someone who loves us as we actually are, bad habits and all. And that is a great gift to give to somebody else.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 12:56 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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If we're lucky, we find someone who loves us as we actually are, bad habits and all. And that is a great gift to give to somebody else.
I completely agree, waybread. What a beautiful thought.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 04:28 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

I have Venus opposing Neptune, and I have had similar problems. From a young age, I was so wrapped up in finding "the one". There were several relationships where I was so sure I had found my soulmate, only to find myself cheated on and heartbroken. I was "in love" with who I thought they were rather than who they were in reality.

I don't think challenging aspects necessarily mean that the individual will be deceptive to their partner, but for me I was deceptive to myself. I blindly trusted in ex boyfriends who didn't treat me well. All the signs were there that they were no good but I didn't listen.

Today, being aware of this problem, I've managed to break away from these unhealthy habits. I've met someone wonderful and honest who's really earned my trust, rather than me trusting him blindly.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 10:38 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

FleetingDasein, I'm a Libra with Venus squared Neptune and I very much live this square. I've read that Venus/Neptune aspects are like being attracted to a shadow, or sometimes even having confusion in what gender you're attracted to. When I was younger, I cheated on this guy I was going out with; I cheated on him with a girl. Score 1 for me.

But to answer your question, I don't think this aspect is accompanied by a pathological need for multiple partners; moreso a desire for something that you are unaware of. You could have 5 partners, but none of them will be what you want, and you don't know why. So you'll get a 6th, and that person won't be what you want either. You're just idealistic and trying to find something that isn't there.

With this aspect, the grass is totally always greener on the other side. When I'm not in a relationship, I wish I was. And when I am in a relationship, I wish I wasn't. Venus doesn't like commitment and Neptune loves glamour, thus the infidelity. If I'm in a relationship and something shiny and pretty goes walking by, the grass I'm standing in just got 5 shades duller.

But not only does this aspect imply that you may be decieved, but also that you may be the deciever. Or both. And you may or may not even be aware that you're decieving. I have a book that says of this aspect, "Marital happiness can be endangered by a lack of honesty and directness" and also, "These people are likely to bestow their affections unwisely."

I've also read that this square could indicate someone not being very affectionate, or not being clear with their affections. This is me. I am not affectionate at all and most relationships dissolve because of this. Either way, this aspect to me indicates some sort of honesty or deception problem, on either end. Either you're lying to yourself, or you're lying to someone else, or someone is lying to you. Or maybe you're not clear with your affections, so the other person cheats on you, or vice versa. Maybe you attract non-affectionate people, so you go elsewhere.

Venus is also a planet of feeling secure, and Neptune is a planet of decieving. So I think for Venus/Neptune squares, it's also a problem of trusting someone and feeling secure enough to open up or be honest. Or it't a matter of not feeling secure, so you decieve. It's hard to be faithful if you're not willing to trust the person you're with.
This is gonna sound weird, but this aspect reminds me of dog training. Cause dogs know when their owner doesn't trust them and dogs know when their owner is nervous or thinks that the dog is gonna bite. So if you don't trust the dog, the dog won't trust you. And the way to help that is to gain the dog's trust by trusting the dog. And it's like human relationships because people will reciprocate whatever they feel the other person is projecting. If you're being dishonest with them, they'll do it back.

But also, you could be attracting the wrong people. Venus can not only represent what you are attracted to, but also what you attract. Maybe you attract decietful people, or drug-addicted people (Neptune). Or maybe love is your drug. "Just 1 more, just 1 more. This is the last time. Okay, now this is the last time."

And I'm pretty sure I was cheated on once. But I think I'm more the other side of the Venus/Neptune square. I am attracted to the ideal and what few relationships I've had were problematic. And they end mysteriously. That's another thing with this Venus/Neptune aspect that I think. All the relationships I've had didn't abrubtly and clearly end, they just kind of faded and strangely ended.

But I've actually only cheated once, maybe twice. I can't remember, it was when I was like 16. I'm 25 now and I haven't cheated on someone since I was in highschool. Whoever I didn't have, I wanted. And whoever I had, I didn't want. The same 'ol grass is always greener philosophy. I'm still like that now, but I wouldn't cheat. I'd want someone to be honest with me, so if I was in a relationship and came across something pretty that I wanted, I'd just be considerate enough to break off the relationship and pursue what I wanted.

Venus and Neptune would be great for eachother. Venus is non-commital, and Neptune is an escapist. They both like music and art. They're both peaceful. They're perfect for eachother, but when they form a square, it's confusing. But if they were a couple, they'd argue about decor. Venus would want tasteful and attractive classical art pieces, but Neptune would want lava lamps and psychedelic Grateful Dead posters everywhere.

Neptune wants the best, but Venus doesn't want to commit. Neptune wants to retreat, but Venus wants to be affectionate. Maybe it isn't such a good match after all.

But I think the upside of a Venus/Neptune aspect would be artistic appreciation or talent, or being attracted to artistic people. My brother also has his Venus square Neptune and he is very artistic and creative. And not just with creating, but with appreciating. He deeply loves art and appreciates other people's artistic talents. My brother is also attracted to and attracts the artsy girls. Also, my brother and myself are obsessed with music. Venus and Neptune are both musical and artistic planets, so although they form a square and create some challenges with eachother in relationships, the one thing they can agree on is music.

Also, another upside with this square could be being idealistic about love and relationships. It may be more of a curse than a blessing, but I totally think that I'll find my someone out there somewhere....maybe? Probably not. The only way I'd ever feel secure and confident enough with a relationship is if I met every single person on the planet Earth. Cause I honestly find it difficult to settle down when I know that there are people out there in other states and countries that I have never met.

Although it may be an exhausting aspect to have, it's still good because Neptune won't let you give up on the quest for the ideal. Since when is wanting the best a bad thing? I'd rather have nothing than something I don't want. What am I gonna do, settle for something I don't want and be unhappy? I wouldn't want someone to settle for me if they wanted someone different. And relationships are difficult no matter where your Venus or Neptune is, but this aspect sure doesn't help.

I'm sorry, I sure did write a lot. I have Neptune in my 3rd house and I have difficulty controlling my brain. Maybe Neptune heard I was talking about him and decided to contribute to my obscure rambling about a Venus/Neptune square.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 03:03 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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Originally Posted by NeptunianLibran View Post

With this aspect, the grass is totally always greener on the other side. When I'm not in a relationship, I wish I was. And when I am in a relationship, I wish I wasn't. Venus doesn't like commitment and Neptune loves glamour, thus the infidelity.
What signs these planets are in matters here. Venus in Sagittarius or Gemini may not like commitment but Venus in Capricorn usually does. A Venus trine Saturn will too. Same goes for Venus in Scorpio which I have conjunct Neptune and I have never cheated or even considered it, and never shall. This aspect does make me artistically creative though, because Neptune has to do with dreams and fantasy.

I think a mutable Mercury or Moon in hard aspect to Neptune is more likely to deceive.

Last edited by Horus; 01-25-2011 at 03:07 PM.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 03:17 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

I have Venus conjunct Neptune.
And no I wouldn't consider myself a cheater or something like that.
Sure sometimes when something is bothering about my friend,I may not come out and say it at once and this thing influences my phychology but eventually I will say it what has been bothering about them.The only reason I go through such a torture is cause I don't want to end the friendship by one stupid mistake so I analyze it,think about how to say it without turning into something bad,but even if it comes out in an explosive way I know I can get over the argument.
Other than that,I don't think I feel a need for multiple partners.Just as with my friends,sure I need a change of pace cause I can get bored if there's no excitement and things get too predictable but for that I'll just make sure I choose the "right" partner.I don't think I would allow myself to cheat,since I am not fan of it.I can be a hopeless romantic,that I am gonna admit it.But I wouldn't deceive anyone,nor myself.I just don't find it right and if I were to go into a serious relationship with someone I would trust then probably I'd tell him a lot of info about myself.I do think it's significant that you say everything at the beginning instead of later,cause later it can be very destructive.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 08:48 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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Originally Posted by NeptunianLibran View Post
FleetingDasein, I'm a Libra with Venus squared Neptune and I very much live this square. I've read that Venus/Neptune aspects are like being attracted to a shadow, or sometimes even having confusion in what gender you're attracted to. When I was younger, I cheated on this guy I was going out with; I cheated on him with a girl. Score 1 for me.
I've experimented with girls, but I would never pursue a relationship with a girl.

Quote:
But to answer your question, I don't think this aspect is accompanied by a pathological need for multiple partners; moreso a desire for something that you are unaware of. You could have 5 partners, but none of them will be what you want, and you don't know why. So you'll get a 6th, and that person won't be what you want either. You're just idealistic and trying to find something that isn't there.

With this aspect, the grass is totally always greener on the other side. When I'm not in a relationship, I wish I was. And when I am in a relationship, I wish I wasn't. Venus doesn't like commitment and Neptune loves glamour, thus the infidelity. If I'm in a relationship and something shiny and pretty goes walking by, the grass I'm standing in just got 5 shades duller.

But not only does this aspect imply that you may be decieved, but also that you may be the deciever. Or both. And you may or may not even be aware that you're decieving. I have a book that says of this aspect, "Marital happiness can be endangered by a lack of honesty and directness" and also, "These people are likely to bestow their affections unwisely."

I've also read that this square could indicate someone not being very affectionate, or not being clear with their affections. This is me. I am not affectionate at all and most relationships dissolve because of this. Either way, this aspect to me indicates some sort of honesty or deception problem, on either end. Either you're lying to yourself, or you're lying to someone else, or someone is lying to you. Or maybe you're not clear with your affections, so the other person cheats on you, or vice versa. Maybe you attract non-affectionate people, so you go elsewhere.
I completely agree about the grass being always greener on the other side. Even in a committed, loving relationships, I'm still somewhat open to the possibility of something better being out there. Lately, I'm much more grounded in that respect. I'm quite happy in the relationship I'm in, so I wouldn't pursue anything outside the relationship.

I'm very affectionate (Moon in Cancer), so I haven't experienced that problem. I'm always madly in love with partners. My emotions are fairly constant, and my shortest relationship lasted one year. I'm very stable. Most of the instances in which I've cheated, there were no emotions involved. I still remained emotionally committed to the person I was with.

I am very attracted to polyamorous relationships. I like being given freedom to experiment outside a relationship, and when I'm with someone who is really jealous, I lash out by cheating on them. I'm assuming my Uranus is to blame here.

I think that's why my current relationship is so successful. I'm able to be myself, and we're both very honest with each other. I completely agree with what you said about trust. It's very important when it comes to dealing with this aspect.

Quote:
But also, you could be attracting the wrong people. Venus can not only represent what you are attracted to, but also what you attract. Maybe you attract decietful people, or drug-addicted people (Neptune). Or maybe love is your drug. "Just 1 more, just 1 more. This is the last time. Okay, now this is the last time."

And I'm pretty sure I was cheated on once. But I think I'm more the other side of the Venus/Neptune square. I am attracted to the ideal and what few relationships I've had were problematic. And they end mysteriously. That's another thing with this Venus/Neptune aspect that I think. All the relationships I've had didn't abrubtly and clearly end, they just kind of faded and strangely ended.
With Venus in my 7th, I've got to say that love is my drug. I dated one guy who was into drugs, and another guy who was very deceitful. Both of them cheated on me multiple times, and I only found out later on. Asides from those two, the other guys I dated were really good guys.

Quote:
Venus and Neptune would be great for eachother. Venus is non-commital, and Neptune is an escapist. They both like music and art. They're both peaceful. They're perfect for eachother, but when they form a square, it's confusing. But if they were a couple, they'd argue about decor. Venus would want tasteful and attractive classical art pieces, but Neptune would want lava lamps and psychedelic Grateful Dead posters everywhere.
That's hilarious. I'm a big fan of the Grateful Dead, so I definitely feel the Neptunian side more. I've got Neptune Rising, after all.


Quote:
But I think the upside of a Venus/Neptune aspect would be artistic appreciation or talent, or being attracted to artistic people. My brother also has his Venus square Neptune and he is very artistic and creative. And not just with creating, but with appreciating. He deeply loves art and appreciates other people's artistic talents. My brother is also attracted to and attracts the artsy girls. Also, my brother and myself are obsessed with music. Venus and Neptune are both musical and artistic planets, so although they form a square and create some challenges with eachother in relationships, the one thing they can agree on is music.
I find that very interesting. I'm not artistic, but I've always been interested in the arts. I'm also obsessed with music. My music taste is very eclectic, and I generally get along better with people who share my music taste. I never attract that kind of people though. Most of the people I've dated were rational Saturnian types.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 09:09 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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I have Venus trine Neptune, which might be really different from other Venus/Neptune aspects. How could someone claim to love their partner but look at other people and think they are better than the person they're with?
With hard Venus/Neptune aspect, you are always gonna think what you have is not "good enough". You have this ideal in your head (soulmate, or whatever you want to call it) that no one can equal. I don't think it's about looking at other people, and thinking they are better than your partner. It's about thinking that somewhere out there someone is "right" for you. Overcoming this aspect is all about realizing that there is no "right" person for you.
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Unread 01-25-2011, 09:10 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

I can totally relate as I have Neptune as chart ruler and it is conjunct Mars and Venus in Libra and in the 8th. Always looking for that elusive ideal and
being ultimately disappointed with the everyday reality. Knowing that romance as portrayed in films and books is hardly as it is in real life. Once the romance of the relationship is gone, so am I!! I have chosen to be celibate in later years at times because of disillusionment...I am not one to commit to one person for a long time and need to be able to connect with who I want. To find a partner that allows for this, is very rare unless they are also doing it.

The best idea is to channel that energy into artistic endeavours,spiritual matters, helping others with their problems and not to put so much store in the idealised relationship. The 7th also rules who we consult, mediation, the general public, legalities and our long time friends as well as committed partnerships. Best not to vow to something that you cant possibly fulfil such as everlasting marriage vows.....
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Unread 01-26-2011, 11:06 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

I think Venus/Neptune clouds your judgement because a person you love can seem very ideal to you.Even if people with this aspect see that someone they love does something wrong they'll probably overlook it because they cannot accept it,or don't want etc.

That's what I think of this placement.

What you're saying reminds me more of Venus/Uranus,that Uranus wants excitement all the time and is always wondering what's out there,so they need to be always on the move and try whatever is new,exciting,interesting...
Plus it is said that people with these placement hardly commit for long periods of time,so if the excitement dies they'll look elsewhere.

I perceive Venus/Neptune as kinda the "victim" lover,cause if they idealise one they won't easily see that that person is bad and will try to justify the behavior and actions of their partner everytime.
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Unread 01-26-2011, 11:24 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

Saturnian,

I think it goes beyond the "victim" lover thing. I think it has to do with disillusionment (the square at least, since it is the only aspect I can attest to). The people you're with can't compete with the ideal you have formulated in your head, so you end up feeling dissatisfied with what you have. I think that's what I was thinking about when I asked if there might be a connection between hard Venus/Neptune aspects and infidelity.

I agree it might sound like Uranus, but I think the key difference is that intentions are different. Venus/Uranus is bored with what it has and wants something new. Venus/Neptune is disillusioned with what it has and thinks that the "ideal" is somewhere out there and goes seeking for it. Venus/Uranus wants to experiment, and Venus/Neptune wants to find a soul-mate (or whatever the equivalent is). I hope that made some sense.

[Note: I also have a hard Venus/Uranus aspect, but the orb is way too wide. Most of my relationships have been long term. I can relate more the Venus/Neptune than I can to the Venus/Uranus.]
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Unread 02-05-2011, 09:13 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

I have a very tight Moon/Venu/Neptun stellium in Sagittarius.

I'm not one to cheat. I consider myself far too ethical for that. Instead, I'm prone to not only not commit, but not even date 99% of the time.

At the moment I am in a relationship that took a good year to get going. The biggest reasons that I stay single most of the time is that I don't only value my freedom, I absolultely CHERISH it. Without it, I suffocate and whither.
The other reason is that I do indeed have an urgent yearning for the undefineable. There is something magic and abstract in the Universe that I am constantly trying to get at, and I desire it greatly in my relationships.

Combine that with being a picky Capricorn and pretty much the entirety of the human race is simply not 'good enough.' lol.

If there is any deception, it is of myself. I am the last one to admit that something is wrong or not working. There is a very whimsical side of me that is rarely present here on the ground and is constantly projecting itself upon others.....there's a reason my family called me La La growing up.
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Unread 02-05-2011, 10:55 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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Originally Posted by Skillcoil View Post
I have Venus trine Neptune, which might be really different from other Venus/Neptune aspects. How could someone claim to love their partner but look at other people and think they are better than the person they're with?
All depends on the other aspects venus has to, but generally the easy aspects like trines and sextiles are supposed to be one of the nicest, spirutual, romantic aspects. But remember planets are modified by sign, where they express are houses and how they express are *aspects*

the OP also has venus square Uranus, suggesting a need for freedom and independence within relationships. I have Uranus in 7th house square to sun/moon. This aspect can go both ways, but normally it's me that wants the freedom, especially when partners have cheated.

OP your pluto is a singleton to. Venus in early libra and T Saturn just been in Libra may well have broken a relationship. Saturn is really 'testing what is of value to you' what is working and what is not, plus it keeps you short of money to...

Plus OP has Neptune conj MC which adds more importance on its aspects, also Square Asc. So lots of neptune confusions here to presenation, outward express Asc and MC lots of changes, shifting of ideas, goals, etc.

Typically, Neptune - venus aspects confer *rose tinted glasses* and sacrifices, which other probably wouldn't do/give.

NEPTUNE DEFINITION ‑ KEYWORDS;

Artistic, emotional, sensitive, mediumistic, wandering, ­sentimental, subtle, deceptive, subversive, imaginative, rhythmic, spirituality, unstable, sacrifice, head in the clouds.

Rules Drugs of all types , alcohol, tobacco, heroin, ether & anaesthetic, Gas lighting. Anything elusive, water has to be put in pipes.
* * * * * *

Wherever your Neptune is, "is where you carry your cross and where you will be called upon to make a sacrifice!".

True sacrifices are never usually recognised, or else they could turn into martyrdom!

Ascendant ‑ sun and mc in pisces ‑ or neptune in the 1st house
rules pituitary gland, feet, and sleeping rhythms. bad aspects may cause sleep disorders, such as insomnia.


All pisceans need an escape route!
(think about it, ruled by the twelfth house, the house of isolation, secrets, the unconscious)

Pisces generally always seem to answer a question with a question!
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Unread 02-05-2011, 03:10 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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Originally Posted by FleetingDasein View Post
I've always felt this aspect rather strongly. I'm a Pisces rising, so Neptune rules my chart. My Venus is in domicile: in Libra in my 7th house.
Neptune does not rule your chart; Jupiter does.

Venus in Libra enhances the libido and increases the potential for promiscuity, but does not guarantee or prove the Native will be promiscuous. You need Venus in aspect with Mars, or Venus in the Term of Mars, or since Jupiter rules your Ascendant, Jupiter poorly placed and in the Term of Venus or in aspect with Venus. There are quite a few other "signatures."

Quote:
Originally Posted by FleetingDasein View Post
My Venus in Libra in the 7th has made me very dependent on relationships.
You might be dependent on relationships, but that would not necessarily be the reason why. If Pisces rules your Ascendant, and Libra is in the 7th House, then you probably have a very late Pisces Ascendant, which would put your Ascendant in the term of Mars or Saturn. You'd have to look at the Triplicity Ruler for Virgo, which would be Venus in a Day Chart and Mars in Night Chart and the Moon is participating ruler.

Since Mercury is both the ruler and exaltation ruler of Virgo, Mercury's placement and the aspects it makes will be very important. With Virgo on the 7th House Cusp, it wouldn't be unusual to have more than one marriage or many relationships, especially if Mercury was Virgo.

That would mean in reality that Libra is the 8th Sign (sometimes for late Ascendants it is better to use Whole Sign Houses). The 8th Sign/House does not rule sex (the 5th House does), but it does rule the reproductive system and genitalia, child-birth, and certain facets related to sex, such as sexual inhibitions, fears, hang-ups, frustrations, perversions etc.

It would help to actually post a chart, because the placement of Mercury and Moon here are important as well, and there's no way to determine the real cause without looking at them.
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Unread 02-07-2011, 06:36 PM
MsK MsK is offline
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

I have Venus (Pis/7th) Square Neptune (Sag/4th) and I can attest to how hard it is. I sometimes feel like I'll never find love

Here is what Isabel M. Hickey has to say about the aspect in "ASTROLOGY A Cosmic Science":


Quote:
"This aspect is often found in charts of spiritual students. An important incarnation for the individual has to turn deep desire for personal affection into a universal sense of love and compassion. Often personal affections bring disappointment or heartache. Person comes into life with a depleted spirtual bankbook where love is concerned. Does not attract love until his dues are paid. To overcome this aspect there must be a relinquishment of the desire for love; it must be replaced by being Love. In financial sense individual must learn practicality and caution. Could be loss through deception and by giving wrongly."
(phew, exactly 100 words)

This feels soooo true to me. I am working replacing wanting love with Divine compassion, but it's hard.

Last edited by MsK; 02-08-2011 at 01:15 AM.
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Unread 02-12-2011, 04:50 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

I as well have square venus (libra 8th)/ neptune (capricorn 11th). the path to find true love is torturing, filled with tribulations of heartaches and misery. i truly felt my whole lifes purpose was to find true love. i'm cheated on frequently, and another just recently, then again i had it coming. Now i feel as if i lost the best thing i had in my life, my dreamy little lady. i enjoy sleeping but am discouraged upon waking up to the grim reality. why can't i sleep forever in peace? what is life without love?

My favorite quote: "So, no matter what I say, what I believe and what I do, I am bankrupt without love."
1 Corinthians 13:1-3

all this love talk is making me depressed. since forever, i always believed there was 'the one' for everyone, but looking at reality would shatter that term. I hope you all find someone who will love you all unconditionally & let our hearts & souls feel accomplished and desired.
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Unread 02-12-2011, 04:53 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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Originally Posted by Skillcoil View Post
I have Venus trine Neptune, which might be really different from other Venus/Neptune aspects. How could someone claim to love their partner but look at other people and think they are better than the person they're with?
Grass is greener????
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Unread 02-17-2011, 03:58 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

Dear FleetingDasein
i hope i will help you somehow with my experience

i have leo venus in 12 , a neptunian virgo which seeks great romance and love
Aries Moon which looses interest easily , and virgo sun which is veru eclectic

also my venus squaring my scorpio mars (great attraction to other sex), is trining my sag Neptune (things get worse) and squares my sag Uranus (need for space)

i ve been always dreaming of a great proverbial love and always got a little bit disappointed as soon as i was facing the real ego of others.

well i managed to comprehend this problem and i stopped to mess love with illusions. My virgo sun helped me to have more practical approach to relationships and choose lovers with rational criterion such as fidelity, communication, stability.
i ve been married for three years now although i had never a serious relationship before due to my wrong vision

I deal with art and literature and i found great comfort and escapism in my fantasy world. My husband bears great acknowledgement about my needs and offers me a lot of free space. Besides i know very well that my need for a magical love is just a spiritual need to get in deeper touch with God


I will refer to the old Myth of Eros & Soul which underlines perfectly the issue of all those people who suffer from great loneliness and a feeling of unfulfilled romance even they are in an relationship. It's all about a higher calling from above
Just try to follow a spiritual path and i am sure you feel better, i always keep saying this to friend who go through the same disappointment.

Good Luck
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Unread 02-17-2011, 04:41 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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Originally Posted by waybread View Post
Interesting, FD--I've not thought of this before, but it bears watching. Does your Neptune aspect anything else?

One configuration I've seen that suggests multiple simultaneous relationships is Venus sextile or trine Mars (or possibly squared,) with Jupiter in the mix. The Venus/Mars give a libido. Jupiter says, if one relationship is good, several are better.

Neptune deals with the world of illusions and disillusionment. Your best aid will be whatever gives you a good reality-check. Probably Saturn.
Can the same be said of Venus conjunct Mars square Jupiter? I assume it's a yes...
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Unread 02-17-2011, 05:32 PM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

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Originally Posted by Vista View Post
Can the same be said of Venus conjunct Mars square Jupiter? I assume it's a yes...
I've had a similar question ever since i read waybread's quote, but didn't dare to ask because I was told I hijacked another thread with my very first post on the forum , but now that YOU mentioned it:

Can the same also be said of Mars conjunct Jupiter sextile Venus in the Radix of a man?

And on the topic:

I have Venus conjunct Pluto and Uranus in Virgo in the 8th and sextile Neptune (which is conjunct the MC) in the 10th, and my love life has always been the problem zone, despite being in a committed marriage for over 10 years.

I have been constantly floating between rose tinted glasses, obsession and the urge to break free, sometimes it's very draining.

I haven't been cheating - not because I didn't feel the urge to - but because I feel I would destroy the most precious "thing" I have. It was a conscious and rational decision (sometimes I'm grateful for my Cappy Asc and 1st house Saturn trine Sun and Mercury), but I'm often tempted anyway...
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Unread 02-18-2011, 06:15 AM
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

I have Venus Square Neptune. Yes, its a pain in the you know what. It is about illusions in love definately. Whatever those maybe be would be dependant on what sign they are in (and in what area of your life, house).

I have Venus in Leo (too high expectations) in the 9th house and my Neptune is in Scorpio 1st house.

I have read many descriptions about this aspect and yeah, there is alot of "don't think I have it good enough" or "what if something better comes along" type of thing. I used to do that more when I was younger - I stopped that part of it - I am kinda opposite of what you said in your first post. I go into the relationship with very high hopes and than have disappointment (venus in leo with the high expectations again). I would probably do much better if I could ground myself in reality and go in with either no expectations and a "see how it goes attitude" or more like you - thinking it will be doomed and than maybe I wouldn't be disappointed if it turns out good.

Its hard aspect to deal with in relationshp no matter how you look at it. I have in the past that I tend to look at romantic relationship to want to be like fairy tale or "movie" love - another Venus in Leo and Neptune illusion. But that is Neptune for you - "chronically disillusioned". To make it harder for me, I have that Neptune in the 1st. Apparently when Neptune is in the 1st house (and I have it conjunct to my ascendant Scorpio), others see you not as you really are but as they want to see you. The neptune creates a fantasy image of you in their minds. I am guessing my Scorpio Rising doesn't help much in that respect either since key words for Scorpio Rising are "hard to get to know" "mysterious" etc.

I notice too that one of the Venus Square Neptune features tends to be that when in a relationship you often feel like you don't "deserve" it - I do this all the time. It always have to fight that thinking. Or I think "why would this person want to be with me?" and the Neptune illusion makes me think that they are not seeing me for who I truly am. I definately DO NOT make the first move if I am interested in someone - that is very Venus Square Neptune thing because honestly I can never tell if the other person is interested (my friends used to tease me about this - I could never tell if a guy is hitting me! haha) and I definately do not want to make a fool out of myself! Alternately, I think people are interested me who aren't actually at all (of course yes, lots of people give off mixed signals - not my fault hehe) - I think that is more of the Neptune illusion. Geez, I can't win!

Another thing another astrologer told me is that Square are mostly tensions inside yourself while as oppositions are tension outside of yourself. Meaning the oppositions might involve other people but the square is mostly internal struggles. Don't know if others on here believe that or see it that way but I guess when you look at that way the square seems like something one could personally work on or control while as the opposition since it involves outsiders maybe more of a struggle.

That said, there are some pretty magnamious people who have Venus Neptune aspects like Pam Anderson, Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe (the ulimate glamour queen!) and Andy Warhol. I have some articles bookmarked that you might want to read (may make you feel better about the whole Venu/Neptune trap). You might have read these already.

http://astrologyforthesoul.com/billstreett/vennep.html
http://www.strangehouse.com/natal-as...neptune-2.html
http://www.achernar.btinternet.co.uk/venusaspects.html
http://astrofix.net/2010/09/11/venusneptune-aspects/
http://www.astrodispatch.com/2010/10...disillusioned/

Anyhow, I struggle with this too so you are not alone. I think I would prefer to have the square rather than the opposition though. At least when I am aware of it - I can fight it a bit more.

Oh, just to add: I know you mention infidelity. I have NEVER cheated on anyone I have dated. But I think that might be more due to my Scorpio Rising and Virgo Sun - which are both loyal and dependable.
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Last edited by queenfluff; 02-18-2011 at 06:26 AM.
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Unread 10-13-2012, 12:53 AM
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tokyo.lights tokyo.lights is offline
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Re: Infidelity and Venus/Neptune Aspects

This explains this aspect better than I ever could:

From Aspects in Astrology - Sue Tompkins
Quote:
People with Venus-Neptune contacts are inspired by beauty and peace. Commonly, they do not want to know about ugliness or discord. This applies to art, to music and to relationships.
The Venus-Neptune individual is invariably very romantic and idealistic about relationships. They are in love – so much so that there can be great difficulty in maintaining interest in, and commitment to, an ordinary person and the rigours and (let’s face it) unromanticism of the everyday domestic and habitual living with someone.
How depressing.
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Last edited by tokyo.lights; 10-14-2012 at 01:12 AM.
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