Astrologers' Community  

Go Back   Astrologers' Community > Welcome! > Read My Chart

Read My Chart If you want to have your astrological chart read and do not post an astrological interpretation along with your chart request, your postings go here. No one is required to read any chart request and it is greatly appreciated if people who have chart requests acknowledge those who were kind enough to answer their request. If you want an astrological chart reading using the Vedic method (square astrological charts), your postings go in the Vedic Astrology forum."Read My Chart" type postings found in the rest of the forum will be moved here.


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 05-17-2019, 07:49 AM
fox4evr fox4evr is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: california
Posts: 7
Question am i doomed to be forever alone?

Hi, I am new to this thread!

I am curious about what my natal chart shows. For a long time now, I've felt like a "lone wolf". I'm usually alone. A lot of issues have pushed me to this. However, i'm quite lonely. I imagine one day, I may enjoy a relationship, but that also sounds impossible.

is there anything in my natal chart that may indicate relationships troubles, difficulty, or lack of romance?
Attached Images
File Type: png natal chart improved.png (70.1 KB, 61 views)


Last edited by fox4evr; 05-17-2019 at 05:56 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Unread 05-17-2019, 08:51 PM
three M symbols three M symbols is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: France
Posts: 302
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Hi

Saturn, ruler of 7th house (of relationships/partners, etc..) is in 8th house. House of hardships, depths and transformations.
It also oppose Mercury (Mercury is your 11th house ruler (friends and supports house). Mercury is the planet of communication/learning, and Saturn may cause problems with these things.
You can feel lonely because of how you communicate with everyone (including strangers and groups) (11th). Those can be restricted by Saturn. Saturn can also be the limits you built yourself

Scorpio IC can make you overprotect yourself.
Mars, ruler of your 4th house is in 3rd house. So you can hide your insecurities behind your way of communicating, in order to not let people see your private vulnerabilities (scorpio role)

Jupiter, ruler of 5th house (of romance) squares your Sun. This aspect may be an ego or willpower problem. Jupiter can cause excess in your actions or social behavior because Sun rules Leo Ascendant.

It doesn't mean you'll be alone for the rest of your life.
The more we have aspects, the more we can improve and change..

Try to understand what make you stay in this situation.
You're someone authentic. Preoccupated by yourself and your own issues and will. (ruler of 1st in 1st). But on the other hand, libra moon needs are about relationships and sharing, abilities to do compromise sometimes, and not being always alone. Venus in 1st house is a good placement for charisma and be someone attractive.

Last edited by three M symbols; 05-17-2019 at 08:59 PM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to three M symbols For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (05-18-2019)
  #3  
Unread 05-17-2019, 10:52 PM
rahu rahu is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: 5025 valley crest dr #135 concord ca 94521
Posts: 10,865
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fox4evr View Post
Hi, I am new to this thread!

I am curious about what my natal chart shows. For a long time now, I've felt like a "lone wolf". I'm usually alone. A lot of issues have pushed me to this. However, i'm quite lonely. I imagine one day, I may enjoy a relationship, but that also sounds impossible.

is there anything in my natal chart that may indicate relationships troubles, difficulty, or lack of romance?
it is very surprising that feel this way because your chart is very attractive. I would hab to think that you have had many men take advantage of your loving nature and this is why you have a bad self images

you have venus conjunct to he sun and square to Jupiter.... that is extremely attractive as you draws guys around you with your good feelings and optimism..???? why no romance.
the midpoint are conjunct conjunct mars.
mars also conjunct the node which is also very attractive but these are squad to the Neptune/Uranus conjunction which can show insincere user around you.

I don't have more time but will consider your chart tonight....off the top of my head without looking for astrological aspects, I think you must have a abusive childhood.. but that is just a raw quess as to why you positive aspects are leaving you so lonely and dejected...something doesn't add up to me
bye for now

rahu

Last edited by rahu; 05-17-2019 at 11:49 PM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to rahu For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (05-18-2019)
  #4  
Unread 05-18-2019, 01:00 AM
fox4evr fox4evr is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: california
Posts: 7
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

i really did not know this many things about my chart! i sincerely appreciate you taking the time to reply. yes, it does feel like i'm so preoccupied with my own issues and problems sometimes that i can't focus on other people... but you do describe a balance. hopefully my libra side can counteract some of this loneliness haha!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Unread 05-18-2019, 01:03 AM
fox4evr fox4evr is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: california
Posts: 7
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rahu View Post
it is very surprising that feel this way because your chart is very attractive. I would hab to think that you have had many men take advantage of your loving nature and this is why you have a bad self images

I don't have more time but will consider your chart tonight....off the top of my head without looking for astrological aspects, I think you must have a abusive childhood.. but that is just a raw quess as to why you positive aspects are leaving you so lonely and dejected...something doesn't add up to me
bye for now

rahu
you hit the nail on the head my friend... yes i was abused by my father growing up. he has caused many issues with men for me. and most of the men i have met have reminded me of him and caused me to revert back into myself and feel hopeless and unhappy. ive been taken advantage of a lot. i guess i just feel i may never meet someone patient, gentle, or kind enough to support me as i escape from all that!
thank you so much for your incredible reply. it was very accurate.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Unread 05-18-2019, 06:49 AM
Sagittarius Jupiter Sagittarius Jupiter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 198
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Sun in 1st house produced lack of relationships, sometimes. And often Venus in Virgo, too.


As a Leo Ascendant, you must be straight-forward and forward often. Especially with Sun in Virgo, you must make neat details.

Mercury at the End of the Sign means hopelessness. Hopelessness in relationship and in Job. (sorry) ... Venus in 6 Degree means you're a victim of society, often... (Job) .. Mars 23 Degree means you're a Technical person (which is good). +


All in all, you have an unfine Jupiter (6 degree) as well. Which signifies fruitlessness in old age.

Old age is 22 Degree Pisces to you: Very stalwart


Jupiter 6 Degree sometimes means Being superman in Heaven.+


Especially in Sagittarius, where it means straight-forwardness.


Your North-Node is good (29 degree) Mean node +


Neptune 23 Degree means early death, sometimes (not necessarily) It can just mean lack of circumstances. +


Uranus 27 degree means early death too sometimes (not necessarily) It can just mean lack of circumstances. +


Pluto in house 4 means early death always. (Frawley) +
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sagittarius Jupiter For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (05-18-2019)
  #7  
Unread 05-18-2019, 07:08 AM
greybeard greybeard is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Rural Idaho
Posts: 3,431
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Venus in her fall, combust, rising, her lord in Last Degree and square Uranus-Neptune, sesquicuadrate Neptune, square Jupiter (partile).

Saturn solitaire above the earth and in 8th rx, opp Mercury (lord of Venus), lord 7th, in aversion to Mars.

Pluto in 4th.

Last edited by greybeard; 05-18-2019 at 07:23 AM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to greybeard For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (05-18-2019)
  #8  
Unread 05-18-2019, 08:36 AM
fox4evr fox4evr is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: california
Posts: 7
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagittarius Jupiter View Post
Sun in 1st house produced lack of relationships, sometimes. And often Venus in Virgo, too.


As a Leo Ascendant, you must be straight-forward and forward often. Especially with Sun in Virgo, you must make neat details.

Mercury at the End of the Sign means hopelessness. Hopelessness in relationship and in Job. (sorry) ... Venus in 6 Degree means you're a victim of society, often... (Job) .. Mars 23 Degree means you're a Technical person (which is good). +


All in all, you have an unfine Jupiter (6 degree) as well. Which signifies fruitlessness in old age.

Old age is 22 Degree Pisces to you: Very stalwart


Jupiter 6 Degree sometimes means Being superman in Heaven.+


Especially in Sagittarius, where it means straight-forwardness.


Your North-Node is good (29 degree) Mean node +


Neptune 23 Degree means early death, sometimes (not necessarily) It can just mean lack of circumstances. +


Uranus 27 degree means early death too sometimes (not necessarily) It can just mean lack of circumstances. +


Pluto in house 4 means early death always. (Frawley) +
ouch that all seems..... horrible haha. yikes.. so not only am i forever alone, but my job will be terrible to me and ill die early and miserable? ahah jesus christ bruh
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Unread 05-20-2019, 10:25 PM
rahu rahu is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: 5025 valley crest dr #135 concord ca 94521
Posts: 10,865
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Hi fox4evr

As you have mentioned the relationship with you father has colored your relationships to men.
Saturn is biquintile to orcus, which is an aspect of abuse. Here the midpoint is conjunct your named asteroid Ashley. So his influences has certainly affected you directly . ash is opposed to Jupiter and square to the venus/sun conjunction. This pattern gives you a very loving and happy exterior. As Jupiter rule marriage, it is clear tht a committed relationship/marriage has always been your dream and hope. This is also indicated as your sun/moon midpoint issquare to juno,again, this indicates that a devoted relationship has always been central your sense of completion . the eris/eros conjunction is trine to juno which shows devoted relationship brings out you loving and sexually side. This might be a partial reason you have been duped, because when you feel a strong emotional/sexual energy ,your subconscious feels this relationship is one of devotion.your underlying”need”of the love of a committed relationship/marriage is also shown by the Jupiter/juno midpoint being opposed to psyche.loyalty and devotion are part and parcel of you experience of love
The Saturn/orcus midpoint does qualify your feelings toward relationships his influence has made you likely to hold back when you feel strong attraction.
Your chart gets a bit complicate so bear with me.
Your mars/venus midpoint is the moon ,mercury,ceres and chiron. This shows that you are, again, very loving and emotional, in addition you are intelligent and quite funny and humorous. ceres shows the devotional feeling that you have when in love. This is also indicative of you need of committed relationship, so you can express your deep sincere loyalty to your partner. this is ,as is the venus/sun/Jupiter pattern ,a very attractive pattern and like the former pattern you have aspects of emotional reticence.
Here the moon/Saturn midpoint is square to ceres/mercury/chiron. this strengthen you devotional nature/loyalty and steadfastness to your partner is a basic characteristic of your personality. But Saturn/moon midpoint is lso associated with feelings of insecurity. coupled with your Saturn/orcus midpoint, you another aspect that tempers you emotional expectations because of your father’s negative influence.

Another complicating aspects(whew) is your mars conjunct to the node. This aspect is very attractive to others,but in a womans charts is very often associated with abuse.this aspect shows you sexual vibrations are very strong,but you were born with a strong sexual vibration. So your sexual nature did not develop at puberty but has been strong since your birth. this is a factor of why you were abused.
More importantly, this aspect also give you a strong “aura”. You have a other worldly ambiences about you. Your presence affects others. This can draw others to you even if they don’t understand your affect on them. this gives a potential of psychic abilities and here because you mercury is trine to Uranus your abiities include a very good intuition and can show ability to read others thoughts. With Uranus involved you have likely had astral dreams that were prophetic as well as flying dreams.as Uranus is exactly square the node, astral/vivid dreams are very important as this shows that you can solve problems of reality on the astral.as you seem to have some blocks. I would think that you have been subject to out of the body experiences and likely have episodes of sleep paralysis, which is waking up but not being to move for a minute or so.as Neptune is also square to the node, you might also have visions or you might think hallucination. These visions can come with dreams but also can continue into your waking state.it is possible to have visions in waking states to begin with. Though, with so much paranormal energy, you might have had periods when other thought you were going mad or you might have yourself questioned you sanity
Mars with the node is also a aspect of “luck”. It means that if you follow your first impressions, you are often successful. With this aspect sometimes even when plans don’t go as you wanted, you might end up with a unexpected outcome.. but it still turns out to be for your advantage.
but if you become to ego centered or let gross desire and possessiveness guide you actions, then you have fallen off your path and the results can bring greedy and malicious people around you.
So you must always stay in a positive light, as you path will always open up for regardless of “errors” on your part as long as your actions are true to your spirit.
I probably don’t have to say this because you have eros sextile to psyche with the midpoint conjunct to Sedna at midheaven. This shows you are exceptionally idealistic, spiritual and romantic especially in relationships(which is also a partial reason you have been used so much, you expect the other to be true and loving as you are but this is not always the case). With Sedna at midheaven,you re devoted to truth.you are truth seeker and a truth teller. This shows that you are noted among your friends as a person is always truthful and dependable. Though this is most exalted spiritual characteristic, paradoxically, you sometimes find that malicious people try to harm you when you speak the truth. So you must learn when to keep your knowledge to yourself and not speak the truth at inappropriate times or to people who can’t accept the truth..
Back to the mars/node conjunction.. mars/node is square to Uranus and Neptune. This “again, is extremely sexual and mystic LOL, you can both seem to be radical o rebellious or at other times seems to be recessive and pliable. This is a major aspect of why you have been used, because this vibration attract guys who are edgy and very emotional and sexual. But these type of guys are truly looking for a good time and to exploit you sexually. If your nature was just as licentious as theirs then you might have many exciting but briefcounters. But you nature is devoted, so you will feel “betrayed” when the intensity of the electric encounters fades out and he fades out just as quickly as he arrived.
This aspect also shows that though you have a expansive nature, sometimes you attempt things that you can’t finish. Sometimes external influences change around you and plans are altered. This can lead to a feeling that you are star crossed as even with good intentions there seem to influences working against.
Bit regardless, with neptune square to mars, you ,again,have a “spiritual “affect on others. You have an ephemeral/etheric energy about you which others are drawn to.
Your mercury/chiron/moon stellium shows you are exceptionally intelligent. You have amazingly analytical and incisive mind and you always read people and situations correctly. Usually this placement gives one a eidetic memory/photographic memory. But with the moon/Saturn midpoint square to this stellium. your lack of confidence may obscure you abilities from yourself. It may be that your memory only operates withinsome subjects but you do have a exceptional memory whatever we may call it.
(Just a note, you are so exceptional, that with the abusive experience of your father, you might not acknowledge or realize how gifted you are. So I have to temper my accolades of you as you might think I am too high. But I don’t. as you mature you will have more access to aspects of your abilities that you have blocked out in youth youth. These insights are shown by the pluto/mercury and pluto/moon midpoints being conjunct toy our node. This suggest that you have repressed or blocked recollections that hide you brilliance from yourself.)).
Mercury and chiron are trine to Uranus. This,again. heightens your innate intelligence. This gives you farsightedness as well as exceptional mathematical and deductive abilities. Uranus shows science and astrology to be nature fields of study you excel at.
Mercury/chiron are also sextile to pluto and Neptune. This adds a profundity to your intellectual pursuits .along with chiron, you desire to know seminal causal dynamics of any situation. Neptune adds a rare creativity and shows that your intuitions often lead you to the correct, deductive and logical meaning of problems you are working with. You are blessed with both logical genius and intuition genius.
To complicate you life further ,you are subject to otherworldly, altered realities or paranormal sensations and experiences.
Your vertex axis is conjunct your lilth axis.the vertex is an energy plane that brings in the totality of the consciousness of the solar system, so to speak.it is closely related to the psychic energy of the node, but it is not limited to energy that solely applies to one’s particular destinyor”karma. As consequence when one has a strong in flow of the vertex, ones life can have unusual, strange and synchronistic experiences or sensations. The very can be very confusing because it can add “information” that does not relate to one’s life. Hence the energy/images from the vertex can very confusing and disorienting.
Lilth is the a axis of energy that symbolizes one’s deepest emotional sensitivity. The lilith is the source of the energy of all emotional and rhythmic patterns in ones live. But it is below even the subconscious, so the aspects to Lilith just seem to arise into the person consciousness spontaneously. One might characterize Lilith feelings as from the “heart” though this is a technically a misnomer .
Here you have ceres/chiron/mercury and loosely the moon. This shows that your logical and deductive thoughts come to your spontaneously. You just know that certain ideas or thought are true or appropriate to the situation. Chiron and mercury are very analytical and judgmental to a degree. Chiron particular looks for the logical casual connection between elements. With in relationships chiron desires to understand the “other”, to know every feeling , to know how the “other” thinks and why. This can add t a relationship as it gives an unsurpassed intimacy. But if the relationship occurs, then the most destructive arguments cd recriminations can arise, because both know the strengths and weakness of each other. So the criticisms cut to the quick of their psyches.
These characteristics make mercury/chiron conjunctions the mark of experimental scientist and gives a person who seeks the truth of any matter. Chiron is a true friend but if someone betrays Chiron they become formidable enemy and will cut of the offender, sometimes forever, even if they are a friend.
With mercury/chiron square the vertex energy, you might have had experiences that totally confused you. Unusual sensations or visions. Feeling of other worldly realities or entities. The inlying sensation is that you is experiencing states of reality that are so different that “normality” that no one would ever be to understand what occurred. So in addition to the usually complicate emotional and mental conditions of your life, you also are subject to realties that are not readily understoodby our accepted parameters of reality.
rahu
Attached Images
File Type: jpg astro_2gw_ash_70415_124001.jpg (52.8 KB, 2 views)

Last edited by rahu; 05-20-2019 at 10:32 PM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to rahu For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (05-20-2019)
  #10  
Unread 05-21-2019, 12:39 AM
fox4evr fox4evr is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: california
Posts: 7
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

to start, rahu, thank you endlessly for your hard work. you are so kind to provide this reading!!!! it was so insightful. and i'm almost in tears at the amount of detail, focus, attention, and devotion you gave to this post. you are a wonderful person.

you are correct in the assumption that i really do feel i will be incomplete without a committed, loving relationship in the future. i dont want to be alone forever. i crave intimacy. and want to give my love to someone.

Quote:
The Saturn/orcus midpoint does qualify your feelings toward relationships his influence has made you likely to hold back when you feel strong attraction.
this is very true. im extremely reserved when it comes to relationships, mostly due to my trauma from previous experiences. i dont move or open up at all.

Quote:
But Saturn/moon midpoint is lso associated with feelings of insecurity. coupled with your Saturn/orcus midpoint, you another aspect that tempers you emotional expectations because of your father’s negative influence.
this is very true as well. im highly insecure, and have self esteem issues. i compare myself to everyone and everything possible.

Quote:
this gives a potential of psychic abilities and here because you mercury is trine to Uranus your abiities include a very good intuition and can show ability to read others thoughts. With Uranus involved you have likely had astral dreams that were prophetic as well as flying dreams.as Uranus is exactly square the node, astral/vivid dreams are very important as this shows that you can solve problems of reality on the astral.as you seem to have some blocks. I would think that you have been subject to out of the body experiences and likely have episodes of sleep paralysis, which is waking up but not being to move for a minute or so.as Neptune is also square to the node, you might also have visions or you might think hallucination. These visions can come with dreams but also can continue into your waking state.it is possible to have visions in waking states to begin with. Though, with so much paranormal energy, you might have had periods when other thought you were going mad or you might have yourself questioned you sanity
Mars with the node is also a aspect of “luck”.
To complicate you life further ,you are subject to otherworldly, altered realities or paranormal sensations and experiences.
i wonder if you know how I may develop these psychic abilities further? i have always felt i have a stronger intuition and can sense things from others. i have also dreamed of things happening before they happened, and had dreams where i saw people in my room, then woke up and they were still there with me. i am curious how to further these abilities!
it is usually because of this that i, as you mention, feel mad. i feel that im far too connected to things i cant escape from sometimes. like im too aware while others aren't as aware? if that makes sense. im hyper aware and sensitive to my surroundings.

Quote:
But these type of guys are truly looking for a good time and to exploit you sexually. If your nature was just as licentious as theirs then you might have many exciting but briefcounters. But you nature is devoted, so you will feel “betrayed” when the intensity of the electric encounters fades out and he fades out just as quickly as he arrived.
basically sums up every single one of the men in my life who have tried to pursue me.

Quote:
This aspect also shows that though you have a expansive nature, sometimes you attempt things that you can’t finish. Sometimes external influences change around you and plans are altered. This can lead to a feeling that you are star crossed as even with good intentions there seem to influences working against.
yes. i CONSTANTLY feel like i start something and im so happy, and then life just punches me in the gut and makes me stop. i always get so excited because i love life and want to try new things, but everytime i do, something happens to ruin it or stop it, etc. it hurts sometimes.

Quote:
Usually this placement gives one a eidetic memory/photographic memory.
100% accurate. i excel in school due to this. i can memorize an entire page of notes into my memory and always wondered why exams were so easy.

Quote:
Just a note, you are so exceptional, that with the abusive experience of your father, you might not acknowledge or realize how gifted you are. So I have to temper my accolades of you as you might think I am too high. But I don’t. as you mature you will have more access to aspects of your abilities that you have blocked out in youth.
i really appreciate all these compliments haha. i dont know if i deserve them from the chart, but it's nice to hear. i really dont feel as exceptional as my achievements make me look. i never feel good enough, and no matter what anyone tells me, i still dont feel gifted. as you said, i may improve in the future as i get older? is this a possibility? how should i open myself up to lead this life and mature in this way?

Quote:
This gives you farsightedness as well as exceptional mathematical and deductive abilities. Uranus shows science and astrology to be nature fields of study you excel at.
rahu if i may ask, what career avenues do you think i would excel in? would it be science? what sciences? if this is unknown, please don't worry. i am always curious about the career directions that charts reveal.

Quote:
As consequence when one has a strong in flow of the vertex, ones life can have unusual, strange and synchronistic experiences or sensations. The very can be very confusing because it can add “information” that does not relate to one’s life. Hence the energy/images from the vertex can very confusing and disorienting.

With mercury/chiron square the vertex energy, you might have had experiences that totally confused you. Unusual sensations or visions. Feeling of other worldly realities or entities. The inlying sensation is that you is experiencing states of reality that are so different that “normality” that no one would ever be to understand what occurred. So in addition to the usually complicate emotional and mental conditions of your life, you also are subject to realties that are not readily understoodby our accepted parameters of reality.
yes, this is another aspect that always makes me feel lost very often. i very often have periods of complete confusion and loss as things in my head start to not make sense and i begin thinking of things i don't have to be focusing on. it's very difficult. how can i deal with this aspect?

Quote:
This can add t a relationship as it gives an unsurpassed intimacy. But if the relationship occurs, then the most destructive arguments cd recriminations can arise, because both know the strengths and weakness of each other. So the criticisms cut to the quick of their psyches.
will all my potential relationships be plagued by this aspect?

Quote:
Chiron is a true friend but if someone betrays Chiron they become formidable enemy and will cut of the offender, sometimes forever, even if they are a friend.
i have done this a lot to the people in my life. i am scorned and hurt a lot it is true. but i am also ruthless in my forgiveness. i tend to completely cut off those who hurt me, once i realize i am being taken advantage of. it has left me very lonely as i have had to cut many people out.

------------
i have so many thoughts on this but to sum up, thank you so much for the insight into my chart. i am so thankful and you are the kindest soul here! thank you. you have truly opened my eyes.
altogether, after looking at my chart, do you think i will be able to escape these aspects that hinder me, and find love and commitment one day? is it possible i will be happy and have someone who loves me?
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Unread 05-21-2019, 09:10 AM
ardentika's Avatar
ardentika ardentika is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,037
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

[deleted attacking comment - Moderator]

I read charts intuitively and I'm not gonna get into much detail. Your whole chart tells me that you came here to experience a deep transformation. Perhaps there was something traumatic in your previous life if you believe in this or early childhood.
But evertyhing in your chart screams deep transformation. It's like you have been way too used to be the victim of life rather than take control and become the victor.
Those are aspects that are here to help you strengthen your spirit and character.

Leo/Aqua axis will become even more prominent the more you decide to learn from life and incorporate the lessons and learn to love yourself. I'm sure you are quite smart as well.

Your chart is not focused on external love and romance (which doesn't mean you won't or can't have it) but it's focused on inner love and building self confidence. Chiron is in your 2nd. Something about your self-worth has been deeply damaged and needs healing. Mars conjuncts your NN which means you need to get more of that fiery nature of mars in your system. It's like you are meant to become a fierce lady that everyone notices.

So in the end it has nothing to do with you being doomed. You will never find love until you learn to love yourself first. Astrology is a good tool to help you understand better your patterns and heal them, but it all comes down to self-love first.

Good luck hun x
__________________
☉/♑
☽/♌
☿/♑
♀/♏
♂/♍
♃/♐

Last edited by wilsontc; 06-13-2019 at 03:32 PM.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ardentika For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (05-22-2019)
  #12  
Unread 05-21-2019, 08:20 PM
rahu rahu is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: 5025 valley crest dr #135 concord ca 94521
Posts: 10,865
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

will continue in bit


to start, rahu, thank you endlessly for your hard work. you are so kind to provide this reading!!!! it was so insightful. and i'm almost in tears at the amount of detail, focus, attention, and devotion you gave to this post. you are a wonderful person.

you are correct in the assumption that i really do feel i will be incomplete without a committed, loving relationship in the future. i dont want to be alone forever. i crave intimacy. and want to give my love to someone.


Quote:
The Saturn/orcus midpoint does qualify your feelings toward relationships his influence has made you likely to hold back when you feel strong attraction.
this is very true. im extremely reserved when it comes to relationships, mostly due to my trauma from previous experiences. i dont move or open up at all.


Quote:
But Saturn/moon midpoint is lso associated with feelings of insecurity. coupled with your Saturn/orcus midpoint, you another aspect that tempers you emotional expectations because of your father’s negative influence.
this is very true as well. im highly insecure, and have self esteem issues. i compare myself to everyone and everything possible.


Quote:
this gives a potential of psychic abilities and here because you mercury is trine to Uranus your abiities include a very good intuition and can show ability to read others thoughts. With Uranus involved you have likely had astral dreams that were prophetic as well as flying dreams.as Uranus is exactly square the node, astral/vivid dreams are very important as this shows that you can solve problems of reality on the astral.as you seem to have some blocks. I would think that you have been subject to out of the body experiences and likely have episodes of sleep paralysis, which is waking up but not being to move for a minute or so.as Neptune is also square to the node, you might also have visions or you might think hallucination. These visions can come with dreams but also can continue into your waking state.it is possible to have visions in waking states to begin with. Though, with so much paranormal energy, you might have had periods when other thought you were going mad or you might have yourself questioned you sanity
Mars with the node is also a aspect of “luck”.
To complicate you life further ,you are subject to otherworldly, altered realities or paranormal sensations and experiences.
i wonder if you know how I may develop these psychic abilities further? i have always felt i have a stronger intuition and can sense things from others. i have also dreamed of things happening before they happened, and had dreams where i saw people in my room, then woke up and they were still there with me. i am curious how to further these abilities!
it is usually because of this that i, as you mention, feel mad. i feel that im far too connected to things i cant escape from sometimes. like im too aware while others aren't as aware? if that makes sense. im hyper aware and sensitive to my surroundings.


first off, as you get older ,you will naturally have access to more of your "blocked potentialities. Saturn is strongly and difficultly placed in your chart. as a young person these obstruction seem intolerable. but with the amazing abilities you have, Saturn is serving an important purpose, which is to make you go slowly through your youth. Saturn is giving many blocks but you must internalize these"blocks" as these are steps that you must take prepare yourself or when in later life you will need to manifest your abilities. with you abilities, as a youth ,you could make irrevocable mistakes out of youthful ignorance. but Saturn is making you go slow ,so that you will not advance blindly but consolidate your knowledge and ability.you must see every obstruction as a necessary step that you might have ignored in your life without external obstruction.
you really have a unusual combination of wild, youthful wanton desires and profound intellectual and psychic abilities.so instead of potentially "wasting" or misspending your youth, Saturn is making you reflect, albeit painfully, on your life and future .you are wise beyond you age because of the reflection you have made. Saturn can feel like a weight on you neck when young, but as your reach your 30's, all the frustrations of Saturn will be shown to have been lessons that make your life advance quickly as you want.

Quote:
But these type of guys are truly looking for a good time and to exploit you sexually. If your nature was just as licentious as theirs then you might have many exciting but briefcounters. But you nature is devoted, so you will feel “betrayed” when the intensity of the electric encounters fades out and he fades out just as quickly as he arrived.
basically sums up every single one of the men in my life who have tried to pursue me.


Quote:
This aspect also shows that though you have a expansive nature, sometimes you attempt things that you can’t finish. Sometimes external influences change around you and plans are altered. This can lead to a feeling that you are star crossed as even with good intentions there seem to influences working against.
yes. i CONSTANTLY feel like i start something and im so happy, and then life just punches me in the gut and makes me stop. i always get so excited because i love life and want to try new things, but everytime i do, something happens to ruin it or stop it, etc. it hurts sometimes.


Quote:
Usually this placement gives one a eidetic memory/photographic memory.
100% accurate. i excel in school due to this. i can memorize an entire page of notes into my memory and always wondered why exams were so easy.


Quote:
Just a note, you are so exceptional, that with the abusive experience of your father, you might not acknowledge or realize how gifted you are. So I have to temper my accolades of you as you might think I am too high. But I don’t. as you mature you will have more access to aspects of your abilities that you have blocked out in youth.
i really appreciate all these compliments haha. i dont know if i deserve them from the chart, but it's nice to hear. i really dont feel as exceptional as my achievements make me look. i never feel good enough, and no matter what anyone tells me, i still dont feel gifted. as you said, i may improve in the future as i get older? is this a possibility? how should i open myself up to lead this life and mature in this way?

you have this reticence about acknowledging your remarkable abilities because your father negated every occurrence and appearance for you abilities. so as a child the self esteem your father programmed you with does not allow you to see you powers or as you say :
i really dont feel as exceptional as my achievements make me look. i never feel good enough, and no matter what anyone tells me, i still dont feel gifted.

you need to realize that it is lmsot impossible to override these psychological progrms without opening up. that is you need to find a group where you can talk these feeling out. it really does work that speaking you frustratins and fear to someone else loosen the the "program". you might your look a 12 step based group on abuse or self esteem issues. you can erase these programs butitis so very difficult to do this alone







Quote:
This gives you farsightedness as well as exceptional mathematical and deductive abilities. Uranus shows science and astrology to be nature fields of study you excel at.
rahu if i may ask, what career avenues do you think i would excel in? would it be science? what sciences? if this is unknown, please don't worry. i am always curious about the career directions that charts reveal.


Quote:
As consequence when one has a strong in flow of the vertex, ones life can have unusual, strange and synchronistic experiences or sensations. The very can be very confusing because it can add “information” that does not relate to one’s life. Hence the energy/images from the vertex can very confusing and disorienting.

With mercury/chiron square the vertex energy, you might have had experiences that totally confused you. Unusual sensations or visions. Feeling of other worldly realities or entities. The inlying sensation is that you is experiencing states of reality that are so different that “normality” that no one would ever be to understand what occurred. So in addition to the usually complicate emotional and mental conditions of your life, you also are subject to realties that are not readily understoodby our accepted parameters of reality.
yes, this is another aspect that always makes me feel lost very often. i very often have periods of complete confusion and loss as things in my head start to not make sense and i begin thinking of things i don't have to be focusing on. it's very difficult. how can i deal with this aspect?


Quote:
This can add t a relationship as it gives an unsurpassed intimacy. But if the relationship occurs, then the most destructive arguments cd recriminations can arise, because both know the strengths and weakness of each other. So the criticisms cut to the quick of their psyches.
will all my potential relationships be plagued by this aspect?


Quote:
Chiron is a true friend but if someone betrays Chiron they become formidable enemy and will cut of the offender, sometimes forever, even if they are a friend.
i have done this a lot to the people in my life. i am scorned and hurt a lot it is true. but i am also ruthless in my forgiveness. i tend to completely cut off those who hurt me, once i realize i am being taken advantage of. it has left me very lonely as i have had to cut many people out.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to rahu For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (05-22-2019)
  #13  
Unread 05-21-2019, 09:42 PM
rahu rahu is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: 5025 valley crest dr #135 concord ca 94521
Posts: 10,865
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

to start, rahu, thank you endlessly for your hard work. you are so kind to provide this reading!!!! it was so insightful. and i'm almost in tears at the amount of detail, focus, attention, and devotion you gave to this post. you are a wonderful person.

you are correct in the assumption that i really do feel i will be incomplete without a committed, loving relationship in the future. i dont want to be alone forever. i crave intimacy. and want to give my love to someone.


Quote:
The Saturn/orcus midpoint does qualify your feelings toward relationships his influence has made you likely to hold back when you feel strong attraction.
this is very true. im extremely reserved when it comes to relationships, mostly due to my trauma from previous experiences. i dont move or open up at all.


Quote:
But Saturn/moon midpoint is lso associated with feelings of insecurity. coupled with your Saturn/orcus midpoint, you another aspect that tempers you emotional expectations because of your father’s negative influence.
this is very true as well. im highly insecure, and have self esteem issues. i compare myself to everyone and everything possible.


Quote:
this gives a potential of psychic abilities and here because you mercury is trine to Uranus your abiities include a very good intuition and can show ability to read others thoughts. With Uranus involved you have likely had astral dreams that were prophetic as well as flying dreams.as Uranus is exactly square the node, astral/vivid dreams are very important as this shows that you can solve problems of reality on the astral.as you seem to have some blocks. I would think that you have been subject to out of the body experiences and likely have episodes of sleep paralysis, which is waking up but not being to move for a minute or so.as Neptune is also square to the node, you might also have visions or you might think hallucination. These visions can come with dreams but also can continue into your waking state.it is possible to have visions in waking states to begin with. Though, with so much paranormal energy, you might have had periods when other thought you were going mad or you might have yourself questioned you sanity
Mars with the node is also a aspect of “luck”.
To complicate you life further ,you are subject to otherworldly, altered realities or paranormal sensations and experiences.

i wonder if you know how I may develop these psychic abilities further? i have always felt i have a stronger intuition and can sense things from others. i have also dreamed of things happening before they happened, and had dreams where i saw people in my room, then woke up and they were still there with me. i am curious how to further these abilities!
it is usually because of this that i, as you mention, feel mad. i feel that im far too connected to things i cant escape from sometimes. like im too aware while others aren't as aware? if that makes sense. im hyper aware and sensitive to my surroundings.


first off, as you get older ,you will naturally have access to more of your "blocked 'potentialities. Saturn is strongly and difficultly placed in your chart. as a young person these obstruction seem intolerable. but with the amazing abilities you have, Saturn is serving an important purpose, which is to make you go slowly through your youth. Saturn is giving many blocks but you must internalize these"blocks" as these are steps that you must take prepare yourself or when in later life you will need to manifest your abilities. with you abilities, as a youth ,you could make irrevocable mistakes out of youthful ignorance. but Saturn is making you go slow ,so that you will not advance blindly but consolidate your knowledge and ability.you must see every obstruction as a necessary step that you might have ignored in your life without external obstruction.
you really have a unusual combination of wild, youthful wanton desires and profound intellectual and psychic abilities.so instead of potentially "wasting" or misspending your youth, Saturn is making you reflect, albeit painfully, on your life and future .you are wise beyond you age because of the reflection you have made. Saturn can feel like a weight on you neck when young, but as your reach your 30's, all the frustrations of Saturn will be shown to have been lessons that make your life advance quickly as you want.

the psychic/astral phenomena are inherent in you so all you have to do is trust these experience and realize the complicated nature of your experiences and abilities.
the more you listen and look for then the stronger you will become. a safe way is to keep a sream journal.every morning before you do anything else,try to remember any dreams you had and right them down. at first you might remember your dreams, but we all dream every night,it is just that if you don't awake with a few minutes of a dream it is very difficult to recall the dream.. though during the day sometimes ,though rarely ,something will occur that makes you remember a particular dream
.
before you go to sleep, tell yourself that you will remember your dreams and combined with trying to remember your dreams in the morning , you will develop the ability to remember your dreams.
as I said, this is the safest way. but you must realize that the concept of magic is real and that there are many enties and disembodied that can manipulate the dream/astral planes... so keep in mind that when you open your "sight' to the dream plane, there are other entities that can see you too.

you might read the first post on this thread, it gives basic conceptualization of these dynamics of these matters
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63539

as you clear your personality of the imprints of your father, you psychic abilities will become stronger, or rather you will be able to reach yourpotential.
Quote:
But these type of guys are truly looking for a good time and to exploit you sexually. If your nature was just as licentious as theirs then you might have many exciting but briefcounters. But you nature is devoted, so you will feel “betrayed” when the intensity of the electric encounters fades out and he fades out just as quickly as he arrived.

basically sums up every single one of the men in my life who have tried to pursue me.


Quote:
This aspect also shows that though you have a expansive nature, sometimes you attempt things that you can’t finish. Sometimes external influences change around you and plans are altered. This can lead to a feeling that you are star crossed as even with good intentions there seem to influences working against.

yes. i CONSTANTLY feel like i start something and im so happy, and then life just punches me in the gut and makes me stop. i always get so excited because i love life and want to try new things, but everytime i do, something happens to ruin it or stop it, etc. it hurts sometimes.


Quote:
Usually this placement gives one a eidetic memory/photographic memory.

100% accurate. i excel in school due to this. i can memorize an entire page of notes into my memory and always wondered why exams were so easy.


Quote:
Just a note, you are so exceptional, that with the abusive experience of your father, you might not acknowledge or realize how gifted you are. So I have to temper my accolades of you as you might think I am too high. But I don’t. as you mature you will have more access to aspects of your abilities that you have blocked out in youth.

i really appreciate all these compliments haha. i dont know if i deserve them from the chart, but it's nice to hear. i really dont feel as exceptional as my achievements make me look. i never feel good enough, and no matter what anyone tells me, i still dont feel gifted. as you said, i may improve in the future as i get older? is this a possibility? how should i open myself up to lead this life and mature in this way?

you have this reticence about acknowledging your remarkable abilities because your father negated every occurrence and appearance for you abilities. so as a child the low self esteem your father programmed you with does not allow you to see you powers or as you say :

i really dont feel as exceptional as my achievements make me look. i never feel good enough, and no matter what anyone tells me, i still dont feel gifted.

you need to realize that it is almost impossible to override these psychological progrms without opening up. that is you need to find a group where you can talk these feeling out. it really does work that speaking you frustratins and fear to someone else loosen the the "program". you might your look a 12 step based group on abuse or self esteem issues. you can erase these programs but it is so very difficult to do this alone. you might find a counselor specializing in survivor recovery. but the bottom line is that you need to talk these demons out of your life..and it does work.







Quote:
This gives you farsightedness as well as exceptional mathematical and deductive abilities. Uranus shows science and astrology to be nature fields of study you excel at.

rahu if i may ask, what career avenues do you think i would excel in? would it be science? what sciences? if this is unknown, please don't worry. i am always curious about the career directions that charts reveal.

it is true that I am not especially good at seeing the most favorable occupation but you chiron/mercury is a veru inquistine aility. so anything that involves solving problems. it could be some sort of forensics though you would also be an exceptional counselor .but the truest axiom ,is do something that you have joy in.to me that is the key of successful professional life.your eidectic meory shows success in any field where data retention is helpful, but then again you have such strong empathic sensitivities you would be successful with a profession focused on human interactions. but again,do something you love. and you probably already know what that is. usually if you had ideas of what you wanted to do when you were child, then those areas are usually what your will succeed in as they are what you love to do.


Quote:
As consequence when one has a strong in flow of the vertex, ones life can have unusual, strange and synchronistic experiences or sensations. The very can be very confusing because it can add “information” that does not relate to one’s life. Hence the energy/images from the vertex can very confusing and disorienting.

With mercury/chiron square the vertex energy, you might have had experiences that totally confused you. Unusual sensations or visions. Feeling of other worldly realities or entities. The inlying sensation is that you is experiencing states of reality that are so different that “normality” that no one would ever be to understand what occurred. So in addition to the usually complicate emotional and mental conditions of your life, you also are subject to realties that are not readily understoodby our accepted parameters of reality.

yes, this is another aspect that always makes me feel lost very often. i very often have periods of complete confusion and loss as things in my head start to not make sense and i begin thinking of things i don't have to be focusing on. it's very difficult. how can i deal with this aspect?

here you need to develop a spiritual(not necessarily a religious) world view. we do have destinies and karma etc. so even if you don't know WTF is happening n your mind or reality, you need to realize that you do have a particular path.you might not know what it is but you must always be trying to understand what you path may be.to tell you the truth ,the reason I have tried to be helpful to you is that you obviously have a distinct and powerful 'karma'.

with the abilities you have , it is clear to me that our corrupted cultural reality is intent on keeping you in dark and emotionally subjugated so as you don't shine your light of truth on the corruption that envelopes us .you soul is very old and you have had great power in past life(sorry for injecting extremely subjective parameters). usually a woman with the abilities god gave you shows a past life as a high priestess .

I am really being too specific but I just want to give you an idea of how to conceptualize the unusual reality you have around you.

don't fear these feeling that you can't understand.

but realize there is a logic to the matrix of these energies but it may not be sequential or linear. you are gifted with extremely strong deductive and logical abilities and you are extremely sensitive to th etheric planes of reality too. right now you just don't understand the etheric planes of reality .. but it will come when to start to focus on understanding these energy planes.





Quote:
This can add t a relationship as it gives an unsurpassed intimacy. But if the relationship occurs, then the most destructive arguments cd recriminations can arise, because both know the strengths and weakness of each other. So the criticisms cut to the quick of their psyches.

will all my potential relationships be plagued by this aspect?


when you begin to erase the self doubt your father engendered in you, you will begin to have healthy relationships. but right now as you have said, you feeling toward men are conditioned by the interaction with your father .a lack of self esteem and self doubt blocks out a portion of your psychological perspective. so you are unconsciously opening yourself to men who are like your father...your mental block does not allow you to see this. and so...........

you mars/node square to Neptune/Uranus does show you do have a wild side to your nature. your need of commitment is stronger but your psychic side needs the freedom of cultural norms that this square can show. and you will always draw these intense brief infatuations. as I keep saying you have a very complicate chart. you are so old and you are so young. I might conjecture that you might hit it off with someone who is not like your ideal. neptune shows it might be a person with a different cultural/religious or racial background.
you are a rare bird and you mate will have to be just as exceptional. with the mercury/chiron aspects it must be someone who is capable of deep self reflection as you are.
but as I have already said,you have to clear you sefl doubts before you think of relationships. because right now you are drawing those who want exploit you lack of confidence.
Quote:
Chiron is a true friend but if someone betrays Chiron they become formidable enemy and will cut off the offender, sometimes forever, even if they are a friend.

i have done this a lot to the people in my life. i am scorned and hurt a lot it is true. but i am also ruthless in my forgiveness. i tend to completely cut off those who hurt me, once i realize i am being taken advantage of. it has left me very lonely as i have had to cut many people out.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to rahu For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (05-22-2019)
  #14  
Unread 05-22-2019, 08:20 AM
fox4evr fox4evr is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: california
Posts: 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by ardentika View Post
Okay, I'm sorry but everything @Sagittarius Jupiter said is the biggest ******** I've read in my life prolly haha. Please don't listen to that, it's just ridiculous.

Anywho. I read charts intuitively and I'm not gonna get into much detail. Your whole chart tells me that you came here to experience a deep transformation. Perhaps there was something traumatic in your previous life if you believe in this or early childhood.
But evertyhing in your chart screams deep transformation. It's like you have been way too used to be the victim of life rather than take control and become the victor.
Those are aspects that are here to help you strengthen your spirit and character.

Leo/Aqua axis will become even more prominent the more you decide to learn from life and incorporate the lessons and learn to love yourself. I'm sure you are quite smart as well.

Your chart is not focused on external love and romance (which doesn't mean you won't or can't have it) but it's focused on inner love and building self confidence. Chiron is in your 2nd. Something about your self-worth has been deeply damaged and needs healing. Mars conjuncts your NN which means you need to get more of that fiery nature of mars in your system. It's like you are meant to become a fierce lady that everyone notices.

So in the end it has nothing to do with you being doomed. You will never find love until you learn to love yourself first. Astrology is a good tool to help you understand better your patterns and heal them, but it all comes down to self-love first.

Good luck hun x
Thank you, you angel. All of this was so informative and I appreciate the time you took to write this. I have always wanted to be more confident and essentially view myself (in my dreams) as a confident, strong woman. I hope I can transform and continue growing to achieve this.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Unread 05-22-2019, 10:05 AM
ardentika's Avatar
ardentika ardentika is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,037
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fox4evr View Post
Thank you, you angel. All of this was so informative and I appreciate the time you took to write this. I have always wanted to be more confident and essentially view myself (in my dreams) as a confident, strong woman. I hope I can transform and continue growing to achieve this.
Always know that your chart supports your dreams, and your dreams is who you are meant to become. Your chart only supports and shows that. It will just need a little work, but what doesn't in life haha.
__________________
☉/♑
☽/♌
☿/♑
♀/♏
♂/♍
♃/♐
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ardentika For This Useful Post:
katydid (06-12-2019)
  #16  
Unread 05-22-2019, 10:31 PM
fox4evr fox4evr is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: california
Posts: 7
Re: am i doomed to be forever alone?

Quote:
first off, as you get older ,you will naturally have access to more of your "blocked potentialities. Saturn is strongly and difficultly placed in your chart. as a young person these obstruction seem intolerable. but with the amazing abilities you have, Saturn is serving an important purpose, which is to make you go slowly through your youth. Saturn is giving many blocks but you must internalize these"blocks" as these are steps that you must take prepare yourself or when in later life you will need to manifest your abilities. with you abilities, as a youth ,you could make irrevocable mistakes out of youthful ignorance. but Saturn is making you go slow ,so that you will not advance blindly but consolidate your knowledge and ability.you must see every obstruction as a necessary step that you might have ignored in your life without external obstruction.

you really have a unusual combination of wild, youthful wanton desires and profound intellectual and psychic abilities.so instead of potentially "wasting" or misspending your youth, Saturn is making you reflect, albeit painfully, on your life and future .you are wise beyond you age because of the reflection you have made. Saturn can feel like a weight on you neck when young, but as your reach your 30's, all the frustrations of Saturn will be shown to have been lessons that make your life advance quickly as you want.


the psychic/astral phenomena are inherent in you so all you have to do is trust these experience and realize the complicated nature of your experiences and abilities.
the more you listen and look for then the stronger you will become. a safe way is to keep a dream journal.every morning before you do anything else,try to remember any dreams you had and right them down. at first you might remember your dreams, but we all dream every night,it is just that if you don't awake with a few minutes of a dream it is very difficult to recall the dream.. though during the day sometimes ,though rarely ,something will occur that makes you remember a particular dream
.
before you go to sleep, tell yourself that you will remember your dreams and combined with trying to remember your dreams in the morning , you will develop the ability to remember your dreams.
as I said, this is the safest way. but you must realize that the concept of magic is real and that there are many enties and disembodied that can manipulate the dream/astral planes... so keep in mind that when you open your "sight' to the dream plane, there are other entities that can see you too.

you might read the first post on this thread, it gives basic conceptualization of these dynamics of these matters
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/foru...ad.php?t=63539

as you clear your personality of the imprints of your father, you psychic abilities will become stronger, or rather you will be able to reach yourpotential.
that's such a good idea, rahu! i never considered a dream journal. i really should give it a go!!! i always wanted to recall my experiences while asleep. perhaps even in meditation i can find more connection! yes saturn's weight does hurt right now, but I'm remaining hopeful and pushing through it!!!!

Quote:
you have this reticence about acknowledging your remarkable abilities because your father negated every occurrence and appearance for you abilities. so as a child the self esteem your father programmed you with does not allow you to see you powers or as you say :
i really dont feel as exceptional as my achievements make me look. i never feel good enough, and no matter what anyone tells me, i still dont feel gifted.

you need to realize that it is lmsot impossible to override these psychological progrms without opening up. that is you need to find a group where you can talk these feeling out. it really does work that speaking you frustratins and fear to someone else loosen the the "program". you might your look a 12 step based group on abuse or self esteem issues. you can erase these programs butitis so very difficult to do this alone
yes. i have actually been in therapy now for 7 years. i tried medication before and it didn't work. but i havent tried group therapy or programs before.... for trauma and such. that's a good idea. and i think some are offered at my school. thank you, rahu. i will explore further!!!!!

Quote:
it is true that I am not especially good at seeing the most favorable occupation but you chiron/mercury is a veru inquistine aility. so anything that involves solving problems. it could be some sort of forensics though you would also be an exceptional counselor .but the truest axiom ,is do something that you have joy in.to me that is the key of successful professional life.your eidectic meory shows success in any field where data retention is helpful, but then again you have such strong empathic sensitivities you would be successful with a profession focused on human interactions. but again,do something you love. and you probably already know what that is. usually if you had ideas of what you wanted to do when you were child, then those areas are usually what your will succeed in as they are what you love to do.
how funny... i was just thinking suddenly this year that i wanted to become a counselor to help other young individuals who may be experiencing the same struggles as me. thats really funny haha. i feel a calling to help others. i wont be happy in a job unless i can help other people's lives directly!!

Quote:
ere you need to develop a spiritual(not necessarily a religious) world view. we do have destinies and karma etc. so even if you don't know WTF is happening n your mind or reality, you need to realize that you do have a particular path.you might not know what it is but you must always be trying to understand what you path may be.to tell you the truth ,the reason I have tried to be helpful to you is that you obviously have a distinct and powerful 'karma'.

with the abilities you have , it is clear to me that our corrupted cultural reality is intent on keeping you in dark and emotionally subjugated so as you don't shine your light of truth on the corruption that envelopes us .you soul is very old and you have had great power in past life(sorry for injecting extremely subjective parameters). usually a woman with the abilities god gave you shows a past life as a high priestess .

I am really being too specific but I just want to give you an idea of how to conceptualize the unusual reality you have around you.

don't fear these feeling that you can't understand.

but realize there is a logic to the matrix of these energies but it may not be sequential or linear. you are gifted with extremely strong deductive and logical abilities and you are extremely sensitive to th etheric planes of reality too. right now you just don't understand the etheric planes of reality .. but it will come when to start to focus on understanding these energy planes.

when you begin to erase the self doubt your father engendered in you, you will begin to have healthy relationships. but right now as you have said, you feeling toward men are conditioned by the interaction with your father .a lack of self esteem and self doubt blocks out a portion of your psychological perspective. so you are unconsciously opening yourself to men who are like your father...your mental block does not allow you to see this. and so...........
thank you. this is high praise, and quite fascinating that yu can deduce these possibilities from my chart. i will try to connect more with this and embrace my own feelings, rather than get overwhelmed by them. i will be free. i can feel it. one day!

Quote:
you mars/node square to Neptune/Uranus does show you do have a wild side to your nature. your need of commitment is stronger but your psychic side needs the freedom of cultural norms that this square can show. and you will always draw these intense brief infatuations. as I keep saying you have a very complicate chart. you are so old and you are so young. I might conjecture that you might hit it off with someone who is not like your ideal. neptune shows it might be a person with a different cultural/religious or racial background.
you are a rare bird and you mate will have to be just as exceptional. with the mercury/chiron aspects it must be someone who is capable of deep self reflection as you are.
but as I have already said,you have to clear you sefl doubts before you think of relationships. because right now you are drawing those who want exploit you lack of confidence.
this is very funny as well.. i actually find myself more attracted to foreigners than people who are similar to me. i love people who are different from me, from different cultures and backgrounds, because i love learning and discovering new things. i am going abroad soon and haven't felt this excited!!!
yes. i need to work on myself first and i feel that. i know there's things inside i have to heal first. with myself. and i will do my best.

rahu, thank you. i have never had such an insightful, detailed reading in my life. i think you made me feel much better about everything. because if i take a step back, i have gone through a lot. and i have walked so far and grown so much. and i will only continue growing as i open myself up and live my life with confidence. i have the capability of being truly happy one day. with myself and with others. thank you for the self-reflection your readings have brought me. i feel so thankful for your time and effort. you're a truly kind human being.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Unread 06-13-2019, 03:35 PM
wilsontc's Avatar
wilsontc wilsontc is offline
Senior Member, Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 6,654
stick to astrology, to all

All,

Please stick to astrology. If you are offering words of comfort to the OP, please tie it back in some way to their astrological chart. Some people have a very direct way of doing astrology while others have a more nurturing approach. Do not criticize people personally because you happen to not like their astrological approach. The exception to this rule is the OP, who is the best positioned to give feedback on the accuracy of the astrological interpretation.

Back to astrology,

Tim
__________________
To learn basic astrological chart interpretation for your chart see:
http://learnaboutyourastrochart.jimdo.com/
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to wilsontc For This Useful Post:
fox4evr (06-13-2019)
Reply

Tags
aspects, chart, doomed, forever

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT. The time now is 02:02 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2005-2018, AstrologyWeekly.com. Boards' structure and all posts are property of AstrologyWeekly.com and their respective creators. No part of the messages sent on these boards may be copied without their owners' explicit consent.