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  #1  
Unread 02-13-2016, 01:03 PM
Lxward Lxward is offline
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Serial cheater

My boyfriend has been a serial cheater in the past. He even cheated on me in the beginning of our relationship. He described his need to cheat like an addict seeking their drug. I know he's not cheating right now, but I am concerned that he may cheat again in the future. Is there anything in his chart that point to why he feels the need to stray in a relationship? Meaning is it because he feels he isn't getting his needs met? Or will he cheat no matter how well a relationship is going for him?
I do want to say that our relationship is wonderful. I believe we are connected on a soul level, and we plan on getting married this summer. Do we have what it takes to overcome his addiction? Or is this man even capable of being faithful?
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Last edited by Lxward; 02-13-2016 at 01:33 PM.
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  #2  
Unread 02-13-2016, 04:04 PM
Mirage Mirage is offline
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Re: Serial cheater

first i just want to tell you that i'm not an astrologist or something, i'm just an ordinary person who was in the same situation as you, not once but 3 times !! and from my own past experiences i learned that "Once a cheater always a cheater" so listen to me carefully my dear, if he truly love you and did care and respect you, he wouldn't have cheated on you at the beginning of your relationship, so my advice is :
KICK HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE and Do NOT take him back, you gonna hurt no one but yourself, you deserve a man who truly love you and respect you.
have a nice day
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  #3  
Unread 02-13-2016, 05:47 PM
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Re: Serial cheater

Perhaps Saturn in Gemini in the 11th house making square aspects to Earth signs (Virgo and Capricorn), including Mars (sex drive) could be indicative of a cheater? Saturn is associated with struggle because it's where we need to learn a hard lesson in discipline. Even though he has already been through his Saturn return, he could not have learned his lesson yet. Gemini is a multi-faceted energy that likes to be in multiple places at once, hence the symbol of the twins. Based on my experience, its possible for people with their Mars or Venus, or even Moon in Gemini to be cheaters or poly-amorous, but I suppose the same could apply to Saturn when making harsh aspects. I think the square aspect to Mars in Virgo is significant, but I'm not a professional astrologer, so look more into that for yourself.

It's good to remember its always someone's choice what they do with their chart/energies - someone else with the same chart could be a committed person; it just depends how they handle themselves.

Bottom line, if you've both agreed to commit to one another and he's not holding up his end of that deal you should take a serious evaluation of your relationship. Respect yourself and your desire for a committed relationship; you never have to settle.

Last edited by midspringwind; 02-13-2016 at 05:50 PM.
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Unread 02-13-2016, 06:09 PM
Lxward Lxward is offline
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Re: Serial cheater

Quote:
Originally Posted by midspringwind View Post
Perhaps Saturn in Gemini in the 11th house making square aspects to Earth signs (Virgo and Capricorn), including Mars (sex drive) could be indicative of a cheater? Saturn is associated with struggle because it's where we need to learn a hard lesson in discipline. Even though he has already been through his Saturn return, he could not have learned his lesson yet. Gemini is a multi-faceted energy that likes to be in multiple places at once, hence the symbol of the twins. Based on my experience, its possible for people with their Mars or Venus, or even Moon in Gemini to be cheaters or poly-amorous, but I suppose the same could apply to Saturn when making harsh aspects. I think the square aspect to Mars in Virgo is significant, but I'm not a professional astrologer, so look more into that for yourself.

It's good to remember its always someone's choice what they do with their chart/energies - someone else with the same chart could be a committed person; it just depends how they handle themselves.



Bottom line, if you've both agreed to commit to one another and he's not holding up his end of that deal you should take a serious evaluation of your relationship. Respect yourself and your desire for a committed relationship; you never have to settle.

Thank you so much for your response. He is committed right now, and there have been no issues since the one at the beginning of the relationship. He was going through some things that I was not aware of. But now things are going very well. I know from experience that a person can change, and make a choice to be faithful. I also know there are different reasons why people cheat.
I'm just trying to possibly gain an understanding of his motives.
His previous relationships were abusive, and he was mistreated. I think this was his way of dealing with a situation he felt he had no control over, and used sex to numb the pain. I'm very new at reading charts, so I'm just trying to get some insight.
Again thank you for your response.
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Unread 02-13-2016, 06:11 PM
Lxward Lxward is offline
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Re: Serial cheater

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirage View Post
first i just want to tell you that i'm not an astrologist or something, i'm just an ordinary person who was in the same situation as you, not once but 3 times !! and from my own past experiences i learned that "Once a cheater always a cheater" so listen to me carefully my dear, if he truly love you and did care and respect you, he wouldn't have cheated on you at the beginning of your relationship, so my advice is :
KICK HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE and Do NOT take him back, you gonna hurt no one but yourself, you deserve a man who truly love you and respect you.
have a nice day
Thanks for the advise. I'm just not a believer in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" because I used to be a cheater myself. I no longer am that kind of person, so I know people can change.
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Unread 02-13-2016, 07:22 PM
Kitchy Kitchy is offline
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Re: Serial cheater

Hello -

His Venus right on 1st in Cancer likely attracts women. I imagine he presents himself affectionately - non threatening to women. Although I've known a few Venus in 1st men who are real casanovas. In some way - it's an occupational hazard of Venus in 1st in anyone's chart.

So, given his natural ability to attract women - I would to look at his stolidness in chart. Where he upholds commitment duty in relationships. He has Cap on 7th - north node on cusp and that means opposing south node conjunct venus in cancer on his asc.

His north node is his calling to rise to emotional stability in relationships. That's the high hard road. What he has already mastered, but not transcended, via 1st house south node - is his emotional need for attention from women.

This seems to me someone who feels an obligation to please just so he can feel pleasure in pleasing.

The element of Uranus and Neptune in 'cheaters' is usually strong - the one's who can't abide - refuse - to abide by the rules and the one's who are easily enticed into things that are generally bad in the long run.

If his cheating circumstances were for personal gain - money, job, status, position of some sort - that might fit into the Cap 7th node issue of attaining status through close relationships. Were his cheating episodes close or more like one night stands? (you don't have to answer, but ask yourself or him)

Sex addiction would be more mars - moon natal aspects for a man - maybe with pluto, as I think of it.

Sometimes people gamble their way out of a relationship because they fear a relationship. That could be a Uranus-Moon apects anything goes.

These are just areas to look at in natal charts and to consider.

Your composite chart is loaded with 3rd house - a lot of people say Mercury is the sign of the cheater. 3rd house activity - neighbors, classmates, siblings, local retail, etc. - is a giant pond for both of you in your coupling. That could easily set a girl or boy on edge if wondering if John or Sally is out there meeting and hooking up with someone else.

No one ever wants to draft a short list at the start of a relationship - but that's really what 7th house requires. a) b) c) - the dealbreakers.

Ultimately - you have to decide if you have enough trust of yourself to handle it if he breaks the 7th house deal with you. You need to negotiate with yourself on what you will and will not accept.

I've known sex addicts and I've known cheaters. There is a different pathology about them, but same endings usually.

I've also known a couple of relationships where the mate cheated and the **** hit the fan and they hammered it out and stayed together. That stuff entails all the Cap stuff - status, stability, not rocking the boat, keeping the look good, never letting on.

There are so many conditions to consider in another's chart - I think it's always best to focus on your own and figure out what your lines in the sand are.

Last edited by Kitchy; 02-13-2016 at 07:55 PM.
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  #7  
Unread 02-13-2016, 08:19 PM
Shentaya Shentaya is offline
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Smile Re: Serial cheater

Hello Lxward

Well, i am practicing Astrology since many many years, that doesn't mean i am PERFECT....

But what i see in the Rob's chart is a guy who, as said by Kitchy , is a Living MAGNET to the Women / Girls....

And he is that since previous Lifetimes ( if you believe in reincarnation ) , because his Moon South Node is BEETWEEN the Moon ( emotions / sensitivity, need of tenderness ( sorry my bad english, am french )and Venus, the pleasure, the Beauty, the Addiction to Beauty....

I guess ROB is quite handsome or has got some CHARMING power naturally....We have also a Neptune in 5 house Trine to this venus....

CHARM / Romantism amplifier....

We have also a typical "Cheater" aspect : Neptune SQUARE Mercury...Potential of manipulation or playing some double game....

I don't want to be PESSIMISTIC, the North Node is on the house7 cusp, talking about a Dharma of COMMITMENT / UNION / ALLIANCE / CONTRACT....

The problem is maybe related to past lives with you, i can't affirm....

Another delicate aspect, very delicate is:

Uranus SQUARE MOON....Hyper FREQUENT in divorces...Maybe it is related to someone in your family, and not You in your future, but there are maybe some painful memories to deal with, and it won't be so easy...

RoB is maybe NOT the man you need for a STABLE COUPLE, except if he is EVOLVED enough, what i don't really see...

And you personally have a problematic MArs in 8 House...

I would say : take your time, to observe him, to "feel" him, discuss with him, show you "feel" his soul, express your TENDERNESS and your CARE....

I don't suggest to MARRY him, but it is YOUR CHOICE and YOUR life...

All the best

Shentaya
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  #8  
Unread 02-14-2016, 11:13 AM
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Larxene Larxene is offline
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Re: Serial cheater

In general, when I look for adultery or 'cheating', I look for Venus/Mars and Venus/Moon combinations, particularly when they are in the same sign, and especially if the sign they are in are licentious.

I can't determine whether he will cheat again or not for sure, though I can check the Time Lords and make some hypotheses.

Just an excerpt from Dorotheus of Sidon's Carmen Astrologicum (translated by David Pingree, page 223-224):

"If Venus is with the Moon, he will be great in [his] appearance, good in [his] children, joyful, fortunate, but he will have no constancy in [his] marriage [and will be] desirous with respect to women other than his own, and the wives of some of them will do similarly in having intercourse with other than them."

The first thing I noticed in his chart is the Moon and Venus being in Cancer. The Moon is the sect light (night chart), and it is in the first sign which concerns the individual himself. However, it falls from the pivot by quadrant house. This person is probably fair and light in his appearance, attractive, having small/proportionate facial features (nose, jaw, forehead, etc). Seems like he is adulterous as you said.



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  #9  
Unread 02-14-2016, 11:48 AM
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Re: Serial cheater

Hi,
I didn't really note anything in his chart that pointed to cheating. Cancer rising and venus signs are known to be loyal. I looked at both your charts and couldn't really see your astrological compatibility. Im not saying its not there, because i really work better with the added information of the written list of planets, and what sign and degree they are.


What really stood out for me though was that both of you have your north node conjunct your descendant, which means its also conjunct your descendant in your composite chart. I wonder if thats a really powerful aspect to have in synastry and in your composite chart. Id also see it meaning that for both of you individually, your marriage in your life will be very very important to you <3

Last edited by RisingSag; 02-14-2016 at 11:50 AM.
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  #10  
Unread 02-14-2016, 11:51 AM
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Re: Serial cheater

The charts are a bit blurry but is that Sun/Uranus conjunct in Libra, and being opposed by transiting Uranus, in the composite chart? This is an unstable energy, even though it is trining Saturn. It brings huge excitement, and a need for this, for constant stimulus which is generally easy to supply when in the early stages of romance, the "honeymoon" period. The settling down period with its responsibilities and mundane jobs and repetitiveness, may not fare so well with this energy. He has Uranus on his IC (representing home) and it squares Moon. He can rather easily detach from the watery, emotional, cancerian energies, like a switch flipping. One minute, all soft and connected (Moon in Cancer/12th house), the next minute feeling detached. It's to be hoped that Saturn in the composite applies a kind of "brake", a disciplining force, a restraint on the need for constant newness.

A testing time will come fairly soon if not already, with transiting Pluto making a square to this composite Sun/Uranus. Pluto will not easily give up on a relationship, and so it is completely at odds with the Uranian energies.

The composite also has Venus-Pluto conjunct, which is a clinging-on-tight energy. And Moon square Neptune, which can represent self-deluding emotions. This could represent you, and the Sun marker could represent him. It's not always the case that the female part of the composite chart is the woman and the male part of the chart is the man, as it is also meant to represent a third kind of "entity" that always accompanies the relationship. And yet often the 2 personalities do seem to be represented in that way.

If the marriage is on, I wish you both the best. Both of you, it seems, will need to curtail the desire for others (your Venus/Jupiter in 5th house sextile Uranus in Libra - hungry for romance). How you feel now may be very different to how you feel in 5 years time. If you can meet the relationship's need for constant romantic excitement, then it may work out just fine. They say that Uranian relationships are for our growth, so the soul-mates idea may be spot-on.
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  #11  
Unread 02-14-2016, 12:11 PM
Lxward Lxward is offline
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Re: Serial cheater

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitchy View Post
Hello -

His Venus right on 1st in Cancer likely attracts women. I imagine he presents himself affectionately - non threatening to women. Although I've known a few Venus in 1st men who are real casanovas. In some way - it's an occupational hazard of Venus in 1st in anyone's chart.

So, given his natural ability to attract women - I would to look at his stolidness in chart. Where he upholds commitment duty in relationships. He has Cap on 7th - north node on cusp and that means opposing south node conjunct venus in cancer on his asc.

His north node is his calling to rise to emotional stability in relationships. That's the high hard road. What he has already mastered, but not transcended, via 1st house south node - is his emotional need for attention from women.

This seems to me someone who feels an obligation to please just so he can feel pleasure in pleasing.

The element of Uranus and Neptune in 'cheaters' is usually strong - the one's who can't abide - refuse - to abide by the rules and the one's who are easily enticed into things that are generally bad in the long run.

If his cheating circumstances were for personal gain - money, job, status, position of some sort - that might fit into the Cap 7th node issue of attaining status through close relationships. Were his cheating episodes close or more like one night stands? (you don't have to answer, but ask yourself or him)

Sex addiction would be more mars - moon natal aspects for a man - maybe with pluto, as I think of it.

Sometimes people gamble their way out of a relationship because they fear a relationship. That could be a Uranus-Moon apects anything goes.

These are just areas to look at in natal charts and to consider.

Your composite chart is loaded with 3rd house - a lot of people say Mercury is the sign of the cheater. 3rd house activity - neighbors, classmates, siblings, local retail, etc. - is a giant pond for both of you in your coupling. That could easily set a girl or boy on edge if wondering if John or Sally is out there meeting and hooking up with someone else.

No one ever wants to draft a short list at the start of a relationship - but that's really what 7th house requires. a) b) c) - the dealbreakers.

Ultimately - you have to decide if you have enough trust of yourself to handle it if he breaks the 7th house deal with you. You need to negotiate with yourself on what you will and will not accept.

I've known sex addicts and I've known cheaters. There is a different pathology about them, but same endings usually.

I've also known a couple of relationships where the mate cheated and the **** hit the fan and they hammered it out and stayed together. That stuff entails all the Cap stuff - status, stability, not rocking the boat, keeping the look good, never letting on.

There are so many conditions to consider in another's chart - I think it's always best to focus on your own and figure out what your lines in the sand are.
Thank you! I appreciate your insight. I did forgive him the cheating, and like you said, I did that knowing full well that it could happen again. So, I did go back in with that mindset. But you're right, I will dig farther into my chart. I know I still have issues, although I think I've matured. We all can do with self improvement.
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  #12  
Unread 02-14-2016, 12:25 PM
Lxward Lxward is offline
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Re: Serial cheater

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shentaya View Post
Hello Lxward

Well, i am practicing Astrology since many many years, that doesn't mean i am PERFECT....

But what i see in the Rob's chart is a guy who, as said by Kitchy , is a Living MAGNET to the Women / Girls....

And he is that since previous Lifetimes ( if you believe in reincarnation ) , because his Moon South Node is BEETWEEN the Moon ( emotions / sensitivity, need of tenderness ( sorry my bad english, am french )and Venus, the pleasure, the Beauty, the Addiction to Beauty....

I guess ROB is quite handsome or has got some CHARMING power naturally....We have also a Neptune in 5 house Trine to this venus....

CHARM / Romantism amplifier....

We have also a typical "Cheater" aspect : Neptune SQUARE Mercury...Potential of manipulation or playing some double game....

I don't want to be PESSIMISTIC, the North Node is on the house7 cusp, talking about a Dharma of COMMITMENT / UNION / ALLIANCE / CONTRACT....

The problem is maybe related to past lives with you, i can't affirm....

Another delicate aspect, very delicate is:

Uranus SQUARE MOON....Hyper FREQUENT in divorces...Maybe it is related to someone in your family, and not You in your future, but there are maybe some painful memories to deal with, and it won't be so easy...

RoB is maybe NOT the man you need for a STABLE COUPLE, except if he is EVOLVED enough, what i don't really see...

And you personally have a problematic MArs in 8 House...

I would say : take your time, to observe him, to "feel" him, discuss with him, show you "feel" his soul, express your TENDERNESS and your CARE....

I don't suggest to MARRY him, but it is YOUR CHOICE and YOUR life...

All the best

Shentaya
Wow, you're right he is a magnet for woman. For me too apparently. I don't really understand the Uranus square moon aspect. We have both been divorced, and my parents were divorced. Divorce is frequent in my family. Also, I'm not familiar with the Mars in 8th house issues, or what that means.
I know that both him and I have had abusive relationships in the past. I seemed to have been drawn to men who want to control and "own" me. I cheated to get out. I wondered if he did the same. I think that's why I was so quick to forgive, because I understood, I had been there myself. I know I'm capable of being faithful, I've moved past that part of my growth. If he's ready to move past it as well, I'm willing to give it a go.
Thank you so much for your input, I appreciate it.

Last edited by Lxward; 02-14-2016 at 12:58 PM.
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  #13  
Unread 02-14-2016, 05:00 PM
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Re: Serial cheater

Well, IME, Uranus square Moon is pretty bad for commitment in a man's chart unless there are mitigating factors. They have a deep need for change, excitement, space, and/or the unusual. If this is not provided they will become restless. Personally, I have had two relationships with men with this aspect in their charts. The first cheated and the second felt the need to break up with me every few years, only to ask to get back together later. Yours has these planets in Cancer/12th and Libra/4th -- could be read as a compulsive, unconscious but troublesome need for dealings with women.
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