why Im attracted to highly uranian (unavailable) men that cant give me what I want?

Here is my chart. Im very waterly, scorpionic. Venus-Saturn opposition makes me blocked and fearful. Had a dull marriage, divorced. Never had a fulfilling close love relationship (reciprocated love).

Fro some reason Im attracted to aqua/uranian types (with some Pisces component - moon or sun or venus) that are unpredictable, very freedom-loving, either married or emotionally unavailable. They are funny, witty, big flirts, good singers etc...

Serious (waterly) men who would be a good match dont attract me (and I dont attract them) for some reason... HELP!

Could it be my Aqua NN that pushes me to the aquarian path? All my scoprionic planets say OUCH!!

Here is my chart:

http://i671.photobucket.com/albums/vv73/giovanna36/janchart.gif

hmmmm... i have the same problem. i'm also very watery, with my NN in aquarius and i attracted 3 aquarian types in a row. in the beginning this is all very exciting, but after a while it turns into trying to draw emotional blood from a stone. you have a scorpio moon (as do i) and you need emotional closeness. aquarius needs freedom and can be detached. i just can't see a good 'compromise' between these two. your scorpio says 'ouch' because those signs are square.

people that 'tickle' our NN are brought into our lives to help us fulfill our soul purpose. don't get me wrong, there's lots of things about aquarius i really like and appreciate. i can be a bit aquarian myself (tight sun-uranus square). however, my experience has taught me not to get romantically involved with these uranian types. keep them as friends, instead

You may be right, but we dont choose who we fall for.

I prefer to think that I have to change, to become more Uranian (north node), that s why I keep stumbling into these detached types. And they ALWAYS have some waterly trait that lures me in!

The last one in my dreams is Pisces sun, Aqua moon, Aries venus, Gemini mars. Im Cappy sun, the other planets all Scorpio.

jjj said:

You may be right, but we dont choose who we fall for.

I prefer to think that I have to change, to become more Uranian (north node), that s why I keep stumbling into these detached types. And they ALWAYS have some waterly trait that lures me in!

The last one in my dreams is Pisces sun, Aqua moon, Aries venus, Gemini mars. Im Cappy sun, the other planets all Scorpio.

Click to expand...

i agree, we don't choose who we fall for, but we do choose who we get involved with and who we let ourselves get attached to.

my last boyfriend has an aquarius moon/jupiter/venus which conjuncts my north node. at first i thought this was wonderful. and though i was already not a fan of an aquarius moon, i thought the venus/jupiter/moon conjunction would soften the blow a little, especially since i also have an aquarius mars. and sure enough, i am attracted to an aquarian venus.

but at the end of the day, i strongly believe that our moon is so very important in romantic relationships. and perhaps there's a reason that the moon is in its fall in scorpio. i think it is the most difficult moon to have in many regards and if its needs aren't met it can get extremely painful and uncomfortable.

of course, with your NN in aqua, you are challenged to become more aquarian, but that doesn't mean romantic involvement with aquarian types of men. an aquarius moon is not going to satisfy your scorpio placements, which need closeness and intimacy.

Bittermoon, could I see your chart please?

Venus in Aqua is tough... I was once shortly involved with someone with this placement, I couldnt get close to him, it felt like hitting your head againts an ice wall. I promised myself: Never again! I prefer Aqua moon over Aqua venus. With these planets conjuncting your NN it must have been a learning experience!

I agree that the moon is important, but I am really suffering with my Scorpio moon! Im insecure, heavy and needy. Id like to embrace the good qualitites of this placement (perception, sensitivity and passion) without the bad ones mentioned. Here come handy those uranian guys with water placements haha...

...they teach me to be sensitive/in tune without being heavy. Pisces is like Scoprio, but light and fine, without the heavy stuff.

I must learn how to stop being needy. When I get insecure and needy this is the end!

you prefer aqua moon over aqua venus? not me. i can deal with an aqua venus (i have an aqua mars) but the emotional nature of an aqua moon brings out the worst in my scorpio moon and i have been having a very hard time truly letting go. even though my head knows this person is not a match for me by any stretch of the imagination, he really touched me deeply. hurt me deeply, too. but yes, lessons were learnt, for sure. now, that is the good part of having the scorpio moon. it goes very deep in order to understand.

well yeah, wouldn't it be great if we could just pick the evolved and good parts of our scorpio moon? i'd sure go for that. would make my life a lot easier. if it's any consolation, you are not alone in feeling the negative sides of the scorpio (moon). but i do believe we can work on it, on ourselves, and it will be worth it in the end. scorpio is resilient and does not give up.

if you're feeling insecure and needy in relationships, you have to ask yourself if you're with the right person. if you are, why would you feel that way?

someone with a scorpio sun and a virgo moon would work much better for you. or luminaries in cancer or pisces. taurus even.

my chart is attached.

I have Uranus closely conjuncting my NN, closely sextiling both my Asc and moon (all within 1 degree orb), and I'm quite Uranian by nature, although it does not show as the most important element of my chart. In my chart, Mercury, Venus and Jupiter are much stronger.

I love people who are highly inventive and creative and groundbreaking in one way or another, but definitely also someone who's in touch with his emotional side as well. It's important that they are able to express how they feel to me.

I think that by isolating one element out of the equation and assigning all the blame to NN, you are perhaps overlooking something else significant for your personal growth (NN points to your soul's purpose)...

Remember also that Aquarius is ruled by both Uranus and Saturn, quite opposing energies at work here...

FarEastUranus said:

I think that by isolating one element out of the equation and assigning all the blame to NN, you are perhaps overlooking something else significant for your personal growth (NN points to your soul's purpose)...

Click to expand...

i agree with that. and for sure, jjj is going to attract uranian types to support that soul purpose. however, i think it's a mistake to look for that in a romantic partner as aquarius squares her moon, venus and mars.

Really? I do not see any aspects between her Uranus and the Scorpio stellium...

However, they are all in the 5th house, pointing to a strong need to engage in creative play, also carefree romance.

Another thing I notice is that Saturn is her chart ruler, and holds in check her Venus, Mars, and Jupiter in Scorpio, 5th house...

i'm talking about men with an aquarius moon or venus she finds herself attracted to romantically and then wonders why they're 'unavailable' and can't give her what she needs.

Bittermoon,

I surprised that you feel so waterly with your airy Venus/Mars, but they are in water houses, and you have a Pisces AC. Did you ever had relationship with waterly (not Uranian) person, were your emotional needs satisfied?


I am not attracted to sun sign Scorpios, I find them too heavy (like myself). Had a short romance with a sun sign Cancer, we only fighted. But I get very well along with Pisces, both men and women. We have a non-verbal understanding. As for my romantic interests, here are the combinations I had:

long term husband - Sagitt sun, Gemini moon, Cappy venus, Aries AC (no passion, stayed together because of children)

platonic crush -Cancer sun, Aqua moon, Cancer venus

short romance (broke my heart big time, much older man, I mourned 3 years) - Cancer sun, Gemini moon, Leo venus (on my SN)

another romance, broke my heart - Gemini sun, Aqua moon, Cancer venus

1 year rel.ship - Taurus sun, Cancer moon, Pisces venus, Aries AC

platonic crush - Aries sun, Pisces moon, Aries venus

ongoing crush (haha) - Pisces sun, Aqua moon, Aries venus


I was not in a steady relationship with any on them, except one, and my husband of course.


Had some weird and akward flirts with Virgo/Taurus Sun-Moon... were too boring and passive for me.


Aries/Pisces is the combination that seems to haunt me the last years.

Ok! Thanks for clarifying.

well, i have a cancer sun, a scorpio moon and a pisces ASC on the surface i can be light, fluffy and flirty, however, in close personal relationships i seek out depth.

i was married for over a decade to a man who has a cancer sun, scorpio moon and cancer ASC. my emotional needs were met at first. i never felt jealous, obsessive, or needy with him. quite the contrary. he has/had addiction issues which ultimately turned into a big deal breaker.

after that, i was in a relationship with an aries sun, capricorn moon and gemini rising. this was a rebound relationship and quite a disastrous one. i wasn't emotionally available myself, so can't really comment on his availability. i think he was also quite wrapped up in his own issues but he wasn't emotionally cold and detached.

then i had a short fling with a gemini sun, aqua moon (conjunct my NN), scorpio rising, who at first sight appeared 'deep' to me (scorpio rising) but was all air and very cold and detached. i even nicknamed him 'the iceberg'.

then there was an aqua sun (conjunct my NN), libra moon, unknown ASC (possibly scorpio. he refused to give me his birth date and it took me a lot of time and effort to eventually find out when he was born) i had a lot of contact with over an extended period of time. nothing ever materialised as this was an 'internet' thing. how uranian. i was, however, quite interested in him, but whenever i asked him anything personal, he would withdraw. yeah. not for me.

and the last one was a cappie sun, venus/jupiter/moon in aqua (conjunct my NN) and libra rising. he had no water in his chart, other than saturn in cancer. this one really took me by surprise. i think it was his libra rising that fooled me into thinking he was 'deep'. he was the opposite of the usual alpha male type i seem to attract. he was very sweet, kind, gentle, soft spoken, all about fairness and equality and he talked about his 'feelings'. too bad he projected his unresolved feelings for his ex wife onto me, which i took as genuine. perhaps they were, they were just not for me when he started to realise he was not over his ex yet, he completely withdrew and became very cold and detached towards me. i have never felt so rejected and ignored. nevermind confused. now that i've been processing things, i am starting to realise he was never 'deep' at all and the special 'connection' i felt, was just based on words (i am a sucker for words.... venus in gemini). i fooled myself. ouch.

you were married to a sag sun, gemini moon? i really don't get that at all, when looking at your chart but you already mentioned this wasn't a fulfilling relationship. i'd prefer to see an earthy moon over an airy one if i were you.

the other ones all have significant water placements. i really do think a cancer sun or moon is a good match for you. pisces, too but i think cancer is generally better at giving you that sense of security your moon seems to need.

i can understand the pisces attraction as it trines your scorpio stellium, though aries is a mystery to me.

Bittermoon, thanks for the reply! It´s always interesting to read about past relationships with various placements. I see very often people in relatonships that dont have a "good" synastry. Sometimes a few Saturn or NN/SN or Chiron aspects outweigh all the negative ones.

As for the relationshp with my ex-husband, I checked... in synastry his Cappy venus fell in my 7th house and my Chiron was conjunct his NN. I hurt him (sigh). He doesnt have water placements though and I never felt the connection.

I´ve come to the conclusion that I am quite uranian myself, that s why I attract these uranian types. Uranus squares my AC (4 degree orb) and sits in my 5th house (romance). I find "normal" people (taurus-cappy-cancer- virgo etc who could be a good match) boring and fancy the unusual types that have Saturn and/or Pluto prominent in their chart... "deep, troubled" Uranian types.

As my Mars/Venus are in Scorpio, Aries placements (also ruled by Mars) seem to appeal me.

Somehow all my relationship trouble can be reduced to my lack of father... looking for an Uranian-impregnated Saturn type. Who at his turn suffers from lack of mother with Aqua moon and seeks healing to his wounds from my Scorpio female-energy planets. Uhhhh

well, at least you have a good dose of self-awareness. i realised a pattern in my relationships and i actually did a regression with a hypnotherapist to see where this is coming from. this was very helpful to me.

well many people go through the stage of trying to over-come something and dissolve boundries, or at least part of their subconscious is in to certain oppositions/squares. so they end up getting in to these terrible long lasting relationships when they're younger. a certain force pulls them towards the overcoming, and the other forces are disgusted at every intersection. it represents a certain spectorally alienated part of society as well, and is reified towards condemning certain superficial endings even in partners. people only get to see hints of what it would be like on the other side. even astrology doesnt go deep enough to see the fundamental difference between opposite/squares or if there is some kind of clear space.

a triple water person probably shouldnt go out with a detriment or fall type moon though unless its to explore not marry.

some people do learn and get better after relationships even if their image doesnt seem like it is. so maybe an unconscious collective sort of purpose would be to give others that are different a chance to become a better person by showing them emotion.

gen6k said:

a triple water person probably shouldnt go out with a detriment or fall type moon though unless its to explore not marry.

Click to expand...

I would say that your emotional needs are better met by water/earth elements, less by air elements such as Aquarius.

FarEastUranus said:

I would say that your emotional needs are better met by water/earth elements, less by air elements such as Aquarius.

Click to expand...

i agree with that. i'll take a scorpio moon any day over an aquarius moon. then again, i don't think i fully understand why the moon is in its fall in scorpio.

jjj said:

Here is my chart. Im very waterly, scorpionic. Venus-Saturn opposition makes me blocked and fearful. Had a dull marriage, divorced. Never had a fulfilling close love relationship (reciprocated love).

Fro some reason Im attracted to aqua/uranian types (with some Pisces component - moon or sun or venus) that are unpredictable, very freedom-loving, either married or emotionally unavailable. They are funny, witty, big flirts, good singers etc...

Serious (waterly) men who would be a good match dont attract me (and I dont attract them) for some reason... HELP!

Could it be my Aqua NN that pushes me to the aquarian path? All my scoprionic planets say OUCH!!

Here is my chart:

http://i671.photobucket.com/albums/vv73/giovanna36/janchart.gif

Click to expand...

This is your Cross to Bare in this life, liking men who are unavailable to you in some way or another. With Uranus squaring your Descendent/Mercury and placed in your 5th house, you will naturally attract or be attracted to men who cannot meet your needs and are unavailable in some form. That could be they are married, live far away, someone who has their kids all the time and doesn't have much time for you, someone who is not as interested in you or unavailble emotionally. This can go both ways in that you are the one not as interested or "unavailable." Whatever the case, your needs are never met because you are not being honest with yourself in that traditional relationships are not going to make you truly happy. This feeling could be subconscious so you are projecting this onto your relationships. Now, the dichotomy here is that you are basically a Scorpio with all those planets in Scorpio and Sun squaring Pluto, so for you there is an imbalance of wanting freedom yet wanting a deeply committed relationship. Do you see the problem? Somehow you will have to find balance and a way to have both freedom and closeness. We all follow patters....I can tell you anyone with Uranus in the 5th/7th house or having Uranus in hard aspect to the 5th/7th house ruler or planets placed inside these houses will have this problem. I do, and my dating life has been very similar to yours. I also notice two things that repeatedly happen with my relationships, they ALWAYS have Saturn in hard aspect to either my ASC/MC or to my Sun/Moon or Venus. What's more, it doesn't matter what rising sign they have or what year they were born, they always have their Uranus placed inside the 5th or 7th house or have Uranus in hard aspect to their 5th or 7th ruler. Finally, regardless of the age of the man or their rising sign, we ALWAYS have Uranus placed in the 5th or 7th house in our Composite chart.

How interesting you ended up with your ex-husband...as was mentioned by another poster, I am not seeing why that happen other than you must have had transits/progression in signs of his Sun/Moon/ASC which attracted him to you. I have to say for me personally I love Gemini Moon men, I think they are hilarious, same with my Gemini Moon females friends. But I will say if they don't have any water in their charts they CAN be rather detached. I am a Cappy Sun with all impersonal sign placements(Aquarius/Sag) except my Cancer Moon in the 4th house and part of a water grand trine(kite actually). My inability to let go is so difficult and I get very attached. In general, Scorpios find it very, very hard to move on or let go and I would have to agree Moon in Scorpio is the most difficult, although I think Moon in Pisces is almost equally difficult in terms of being emotional and hanging on.

Uranus contacts are always exciting and can give a great in love feeling but for a great match, you need other contacts too. After waiting many years I finally found a man who has his Uranus conjunct my Moon, and my Uranus conjunct his Moon, and we have our North Nodes closely trine and close degrees trine square and inconjunct everywhere. The squares and inconjuncts produce excitement, not easy to get along aspects like the trine, so they add to the relationship. It was worth waiting for. He has a Gemini girlfriend but I know he will leave her for me in time, at least he's not married. He is a Taurus Scorpio rising Moon in Leo and has a very exciting Venus and Mars in Gemini in the 8th house. I will stick close by him. If anyone wants to trade readings I want someone to offer me new insights about our synastry and I will do your synastry or natal chart interpretation. Let me know. As to the person who started this thread, I want to say that I used to attract Aquarius men like flys to honey but after a few years got sick of them. They were cold and a bit weird and lied to me a lot. I don't know if this is your experience or not.