what do i do that makes people dislike or hate me?

Fz hb

Well-known member
hi everyone :)

there is something i have been trying to figure out all my life and i still dont have a clue. i even asked my therapist about it for a while but i didnt find the answer. so now i am looking for the answer here because this issue has effected my personal life, professional life and to my surprise, my health as well. and i want to know what is it that i am doing wrong because i have read often that aspects only manifest when we let them and that there are always ways to correct our behavior when we are aware of what we have in our charts.

people always dislike me. its not something new. even as an year old child, no one would take care of me or play with me other than my mother. and even my mother only paid attention when it was extremely necessary and she admits it now that she didnt consider it important to pay attention to an year old child because she had other more important things. i remember being the only toddler who no one would play with. i used to get bullied alot so i learned to be by myself, even then people would find ways to humiliate me, mistreat or hurt me. and when i say hurt me, i am talking about kids as well as adults who would hit me. and when i tried to stand up for myself my parents made it a point to make me give up. outside of family and relatives i have had very few friends because i never felt safe because people used to bully me alot. as a teenager i dealt with a lot of humiliation because people used to make fun of my face and appearance. the list of reasons for being humiliated kept growing with time. for instance in my late teens till now guys and their families feel insulted if i am recommended to them and they openly voice out their anger over being insulted like that. at college, i tried to reinvent myself and be open to using my education and exposure to better myself. it didnt help. throughout college i didnt have even a single real "friend". there were friends who were more like time-pass friends. being isolated and fearing bullying and humiliation i never really learned to be social but i have tried and i have been told often that i am an extroverted person. though i am not. even in my career, i have faced issues where i am appreciated for the most objectively hardworking, focused and positive person to be in the team but i am always kept away from rewards and good offers. i have missed out on alot because of this problem but it has also made me independent. and at my age i dont want anymore setbacks and obstacles. and i really want good healthy relationships. i love being home, i dont mind vacations because it gives me an excuse to be away from people in general. i have low self esteem yet i am a strong person. strong enough to go through all my cancer tests and tumor diagnosis and surgeries all by myself. oh and i am not doing this analysis to improve my social media profile :p
now i want to know what is it that is repelling about me. i do know that all interactions can not be studied from one house or one planet but there might be some signs there in my chart because it has been a lifelong theme. so please help me understand whats wrong and how can i manage it if not do away with it completely.

xx
 

Attachments

  • astrofz_hb.47797.9950.jpg
    astrofz_hb.47797.9950.jpg
    57.3 KB · Views: 66

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
hi everyone :)

there is something i have been trying to figure out all my life and i still dont have a clue. i even asked my therapist about it for a while but i didnt find the answer. so now i am looking for the answer here because this issue has effected my personal life, professional life and to my surprise, my health as well. and i want to know what is it that i am doing wrong because i have read often that aspects only manifest when we let them and that there are always ways to correct our behavior when we are aware of what we have in our charts.

people always dislike me. its not something new. even as an year old child, no one would take care of me or play with me other than my mother. and even my mother only paid attention when it was extremely necessary and she admits it now that she didnt consider it important to pay attention to an year old child because she had other more important things. i remember being the only toddler who no one would play with. i used to get bullied alot so i learned to be by myself, even then people would find ways to humiliate me, mistreat or hurt me. and when i say hurt me, i am talking about kids as well as adults who would hit me. and when i tried to stand up for myself my parents made it a point to make me give up. outside of family and relatives i have had very few friends because i never felt safe because people used to bully me alot. as a teenager i dealt with a lot of humiliation because people used to make fun of my face and appearance. the list of reasons for being humiliated kept growing with time. for instance in my late teens till now guys and their families feel insulted if i am recommended to them and they openly voice out their anger over being insulted like that. at college, i tried to reinvent myself and be open to using my education and exposure to better myself. it didnt help. throughout college i didnt have even a single real "friend". there were friends who were more like time-pass friends. being isolated and fearing bullying and humiliation i never really learned to be social but i have tried and i have been told often that i am an extroverted person. though i am not. even in my career, i have faced issues where i am appreciated for the most objectively hardworking, focused and positive person to be in the team but i am always kept away from rewards and good offers. i have missed out on alot because of this problem but it has also made me independent. and at my age i dont want anymore setbacks and obstacles. and i really want good healthy relationships. i love being home, i dont mind vacations because it gives me an excuse to be away from people in general. i have low self esteem yet i am a strong person. strong enough to go through all my cancer tests and tumor diagnosis and surgeries all by myself. oh and i am not doing this analysis to improve my social media profile :p
now i want to know what is it that is repelling about me. i do know that all interactions can not be studied from one house or one planet but there might be some signs there in my chart because it has been a lifelong theme. so please help me understand whats wrong and how can i manage it if not do away with it completely.

xx

friendship is an 11th House issue
check ruler of 11th house aspects and condition
also
keep in mind that people have prejudices
so it's often not necessary to "do" anything at all :smile:
for people to seem to dislike or hate anyone
 

Fz hb

Well-known member
thank you JUPITERASC :)
my 11th is ruled by venus and it isnt exactly in a good condition because of conjunct moon and pluto in scorpio. But I wonder how people who dont even know me, treat me like trash. these interactions are not with friends, so do still count as 11th house matters?
 

Witchyone

Well-known member
First, I'm not a professional astrologer, so take everything I say about charts with a grain of salt. :joyful:

As a baby there is absolutely nothing you could have done, said, or thought, or that others could have sensed that would make them hate you. Nothing. You were absolutely innocent, precious, and vulnerable, and if you weren't given attention and care, someone failed you. Your parents may have understandable excuses for why that happened, or maybe they don't, but either way, it's not your fault.

I see in your chart that you have moon and Venus conjunct at 0 Scorpio in the 4th house. And Pluto is not far away at 4 Scorpio. That has to be one of the most striking 4th houses I've ever seen. Moon is at home in the 4th house, which is associated with Cancer and the mother. It's supposed to be a fortunate placement that brings lots of motherly love. However, your moon is in Scorpio, one of the most difficult signs for the moon, and it's conjunct Venus, which makes you incredibly sensitive and caring. And both are conjunct Pluto, which can bring issues of control to the party. Pluto in the 4th can also be a sign of childhood abuse.

One possibility is that you weren't shown enough love, and so you don't expect to be loved, and so you don't give cues to other people you meet that you are open to friendship and affection because you don't know how. Another possibility is that people in your family and others tried to show you love, but they weren't good at it, and with your very sensitive placements, you needed much more to really feel it. That Virgo sun conjunct Mercury could make you quite critical of both yourself and others, both mentally and verbally. Is that true?

I believe that you are strong, and I wish you much luck with your health. I would read about your NN in Aries for what direction you might want to grow in this life and look to your Jupiter in Pisces for inspiration and luck. I have that placement too, and I think it's a beauty that brings us peace in our most dire times of need.
 
Last edited:

kshantaram

Premium Member
moon-venus-ketu separative SNode scorpio 4th,
suspicious, sentimental, sarcastic, passionate,
pain-injury-surgery heart-lungs-urological etc;
forensic aptitudes;
detached attitude at home;
detachment from mother-motherland-property;
wear white pearl over pendant touching heart;
prayers to Christ, offer red flowers at the alter at home tues evenings;

rahu NNode aries 10th, hyper-impulsive,
wanting to soar in career, but lonely planet;
may wear brown hessonite over pendant;

sun-mer elevated virgo intellectual, critical thinking-attitude,
good for audit-editorial-quality control roles;


sat sag 5th, law-justice, public admin, foundry technology, etc
sat lord 7th over 5th, gains from spouse;
sat as lord 8th over 5th, health issues heart-stomach-thighs etc;
sat aspect own acq 8th, protective from major dangers;

mars elevated cap 6th, methodical, disciplined,
able to cope with competition/opponents;
mars aspect own aries 10th, protective of career
but strained boss relationships;
mars debilated cancer 12th/asc for foreign lands,
anemic health; jup trine cancer protective;


jup own pisces 9th, good for luck-higher edu-spirituality;
university teaching-advisory roles;
trine aspect moon-venus-ketu scorpio, protective;
prayers to saint of your faith, offer yellow flowers thurs evenings;
wear yellow sapphire over jup finger;


hope helps reflections, share salient pointwise feedbacks,
how true-insightful, traits-talents-health-prospects etc etc



wishing well, kshantaram
 

Amit89

Well-known member
Your venus is debilitated in scorpio conjuct the moon and scorpio.

Perhaps you come across as a bit intense? Maybe you are a bit private and feel being hurt in some way? So you don't let yourself go.
 

Fz hb

Well-known member
First, I'm not a professional astrologer, so take everything I say about charts with a grain of salt. :joyful:

As a baby there is absolutely nothing you could have done, said, or thought, or that others could have sensed that would make them hate you. Nothing. You were absolutely innocent, precious, and vulnerable, and if you weren't given attention and care, someone failed you. Your parents may have understandable excuses for why that happened, or maybe they don't, but either way, it's not your fault.

I see in your chart that you have moon and Venus conjunct at 0 Scorpio in the 4th house. And Pluto is not far away at 4 Scorpio. That has to be one of the most striking 4th houses I've ever seen. Moon is at home in the 4th house, which is associated with Cancer and the mother. It's supposed to be a fortunate placement that brings lots of motherly love. However, your moon is in Scorpio, one of the most difficult signs for the moon, and it's conjunct Venus, which makes you incredibly sensitive and caring. And both are conjunct Pluto, which can bring issues of control to the party. Pluto in the 4th can also be a sign of childhood abuse.

One possibility is that you weren't shown enough love, and so you don't expect to be loved, and so you don't give cues to other people you meet that you are open to friendship and affection because you don't know how. Another possibility is that people in your family and others tried to show you love, but they weren't good at it, and with your very sensitive placements, you needed much more to really feel it. That Virgo sun conjunct Mercury could make you quite critical of both yourself and others, both mentally and verbally. Is that true?

I believe that you are strong, and I wish you much luck with your health. I would read about your NN in Aries for what direction you might want to grow in this life and look to your Jupiter in Pisces for inspiration and luck. I have that placement too, and I think it's a beauty that brings us peace in our most dire times of need.
thank you soo much Witchyone :)
you are right, I am sensitive and overly critical of myself and others but I have always made sure to keep criticism to my self. Fortunately, I have learned to shush the inner critic quiet a bit over last few years but haven't been successful in managing sensitivity as such because even though i dont share my thoughts, they are still in my head. you are also right in pointing out that i am quiet and come across as somewhat guarded
I often wonder if its possible to completely do away with something that I have in my natal chart through significant effort. The only reason I am trying to do this is because I dont want to even think like a judgmental person or be overly analytical. I want to declutter my head and any suggestions regarding how to go about it will be highly appreciated :)
Oh and I am told often to seek spiritual guidance as jupiter as in pisces in 9th but despite my efforts I just cant restore faith in anything anymore
 
Last edited:

Fz hb

Well-known member
moon-venus-ketu separative SNode scorpio 4th,
suspicious, sentimental, sarcastic, passionate,
pain-injury-surgery heart-lungs-urological etc;
forensic aptitudes;
detached attitude at home;
detachment from mother-motherland-property;
wear white pearl over pendant touching heart;
prayers to Christ, offer red flowers at the alter at home tues evenings;

rahu NNode aries 10th, hyper-impulsive,
wanting to soar in career, but lonely planet;
may wear brown hessonite over pendant;

sun-mer elevated virgo intellectual, critical thinking-attitude,
good for audit-editorial-quality control roles;


sat sag 5th, law-justice, public admin, foundry technology, etc
sat lord 7th over 5th, gains from spouse;
sat as lord 8th over 5th, health issues heart-stomach-thighs etc;
sat aspect own acq 8th, protective from major dangers;

mars elevated cap 6th, methodical, disciplined,
able to cope with competition/opponents;
mars aspect own aries 10th, protective of career
but strained boss relationships;
mars debilated cancer 12th/asc for foreign lands,
anemic health; jup trine cancer protective;


jup own pisces 9th, good for luck-higher edu-spirituality;
university teaching-advisory roles;
trine aspect moon-venus-ketu scorpio, protective;
prayers to saint of your faith, offer yellow flowers thurs evenings;
wear yellow sapphire over jup finger;


hope helps reflections, share salient pointwise feedbacks,
how true-insightful, traits-talents-health-prospects etc etc



wishing well, kshantaram
Wow! This must have taken a lot of time! Thank you so much. This is quiet insightful and most of it is true :)

I am suspicious, sentimental, sarcastic but not passionate.
I have had surgeries but gladly I don’t have any issues related to heart, lungs, stomach or urological issues.
I don’t understand what forensic aptitude means.
I don’t associate with my house or family but I do fulfill all my household and family responsibilities.

I am hyper when I am motivated but not impulsive at all. I am ambitious about my education and career.

I hope I am intellectually sound, as you have mentioned but I cant really tell because I don’t know how to asses intellectual capabilities.
I am a critical thinker and that is usually why I am a key player in my work team.

I don’t work in the field of justice or administration. I am a designer. I design products, policies, collaborative programs and I teach design and its history to undergrad students. And I am into research but I haven’t published anything yet. I guess if I ever need to switch my field I cant look into your suggestions.

As for gains from spouse. I am single, never been in a relationship, so can’t tell if there are any gains coming my way through the spouse.

Oh I am not at all disciplined. I am responsible but also very lazy so my schedule is usually messed up
I am not competitive. I don’t even try to compete mainly due to my fear of social interactions. I keep my head down and do my job.

I have mostly had very good bosses who have trained me well and supported me so much so that they are now the rare few that I call friends and mentors. I have only had one boss that was difficult. Literally just one in my ten year full time and freelance career.

I have been trying to move away so that I can move away from my family but have never managed to. I have never travelled either.

I am not anemic. Even the day after my surgery my heamoglobin was at optimum level for my age and built despite all the blood loss during surgery.

I am into academics and have always performed well and I am pretty ambitious about higher education.

Thank you so much for taking out time to do this. Most of your insights are accurate. Oh and I already wear a yellow sapphire, a blue sapphire, and a moonstone. Actually I love collecting gems. So I wear them almost all the time :)
 

Fz hb

Well-known member
Your venus is debilitated in scorpio conjuct the moon and scorpio.

Perhaps you come across as a bit intense? Maybe you are a bit private and feel being hurt in some way? So you don't let yourself go.
Intense as in rigid and angry?
You are right I am reserved and very careful about who I interact with and how, just to avoid any unpleasant reactions later.
You are also right about emotional baggage. I am trying really hard to do away with it but I am failing miserably at it. Really dont know how to do that
 

Witchyone

Well-known member
thank you soo much Witchyone :)
you are right, I am sensitive and overly critical of myself and others but I have always made sure to keep criticism to my self. Fortunately, I have learned to shush the inner critic quiet a bit over last few years but haven't been successful in managing sensitivity as such because even though i dont share my thoughts, they are still in my head. you are also right in pointing out that i am quiet and come across as somewhat guarded
I often wonder if its possible to completely do away with something that I have in my natal chart through significant effort. The only reason I am trying to do this is because I dont want to even think like a judgmental person or be overly analytical. I want to declutter my head and any suggestions regarding how to go about it will be highly appreciated :)
Oh and I am told often to seek spiritual guidance as jupiter as in pisces in 9th but despite my efforts I just cant restore faith in anything anymore

You're welcome.

I don't really think it's possible to neutralize a placement, but you can learn to work with it if you're aware of negative tendencies. You _can_ change the way you think. I believed for a long time that it's not possible, but it is. A lot of it has to do with self-talk. Learn to observe your thoughts and when you catch yourself going down a very negative path, challenge yourself to just stop. When it comes to other people, you may be trying too hard to guess their motives and intentions. It's hard having a busy mind. You might try reading about the concept of monkey mind. I'm not the greatest person to help with this, because I still struggle with it too.
 
Top