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  #1  
Unread 04-28-2020, 08:59 PM
or1000 or1000 is offline
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Cancer and childhood neglect/abuse

I just want your opinion on a cancer sun being someone who experienced neglect/abuse. Iím just really confused about a lot of things. How do I move on from it when I just want to be able to hold onto something to the point I tell myself that things werenít that bad? My relationship with my mum is so sad. I donít know what to think of her inc her character in the past, and love her a lot but she was involved in some of my trauma. Totally unstable/nonexistent family unit. Every time I talk about the past, I just canít face it. It hurts so much.
Chart- https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=84080&d=1580923890


Last edited by or1000; 04-28-2020 at 09:04 PM.
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  #2  
Unread 04-28-2020, 11:07 PM
katydid katydid is online now
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Re: Cancer and childhood neglect/abuse

I just want your opinion on a cancer sun being someone who experienced neglect/abuse. Iím just really confused about a lot of things. How do I move on from it when I just want to be able to hold onto something to the point I tell myself that things werenít that bad? My relationship with my mum is so sad. I donít know what to think of her inc her character in the past, and love her a lot but she was involved in some of my trauma. Totally unstable/nonexistent family unit. Every time I talk about the past, I just canít face it. It hurts so much.
Chart- https://www.astrologyweekly.com/foru...0&d=1580923890



I don't think the Sun in Cancer had anything to do with you being abused---I think that is more about Your Moon/Saturn opposition, and your Grand Cross.

But the Sun in Cancer may make it harder for you to let go of it and move on and forgive.

Does your mom acknowledge her past misdeeds and does she apologise at all?

Your Moon opposed Saturn makes me think she just blocks that and doesn't want to deal with it. Or maybe doesn't even think it was that bad?

You Have Sun in Cancer trine Moon in Scorpio. You are a pretty strong person
and quite a survivor.

But you also have Chiron exactly conjunct your Moon. So you might be very sensitive, even a bit too sensitive at times?

What do you want from your Mom art this point? Do you have reasonable expectations for her ? Or are you demanding more than she can deliver?
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  #3  
Unread 04-29-2020, 01:50 AM
or1000 or1000 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
I just want your opinion on a cancer sun being someone who experienced neglect/abuse. Iím just really confused about a lot of things. How do I move on from it when I just want to be able to hold onto something to the point I tell myself that things werenít that bad? My relationship with my mum is so sad. I donít know what to think of her inc her character in the past, and love her a lot but she was involved in some of my trauma. Totally unstable/nonexistent family unit. Every time I talk about the past, I just canít face it. It hurts so much.
Chart- https://www.astrologyweekly.com/foru...0&d=1580923890



I don't think the Sun in Cancer had anything to do with you being abused---I think that is more about Your Moon/Saturn opposition, and your Grand Cross.

But the Sun in Cancer may make it harder for you to let go of it and move on and forgive.

Does your mom acknowledge her past misdeeds and does she apologise at all?

Your Moon opposed Saturn makes me think she just blocks that and doesn't want to deal with it. Or maybe doesn't even think it was that bad?

You Have Sun in Cancer trine Moon in Scorpio. You are a pretty strong person
and quite a survivor.

But you also have Chiron exactly conjunct your Moon. So you might be very sensitive, even a bit too sensitive at times?

What do you want from your Mom art this point? Do you have reasonable expectations for her ? Or are you demanding more than she can deliver?
A lot of what I have feelings about I thought may have been to do with the cancerians attachment to the childhood. With me not having a clear and solid childhood to refer to, it makes this an unsteady outlook. One that isnít good for my self concept. My mum doesnít remember a lot. But it hurts me when she hurts in moments she does express herself. I am very sensitive and in these moments I canít bear the hurt that I know she feels in guilt. I feel very attached to her, almost as if she is me haha but in a painful and clouded way. Iíve wanted to break off from our relationship because of these things. Very unhealthy and overwhelming to cope with daily. Thereís many embedded emotions. My inability to express these or even know what it is Iím feeling most of the time, is very, very difficult. This is often the case across the board of life. Can you tell me more about what you mean when talking about the grand cross being a possible instigator?

Last edited by or1000; 04-29-2020 at 02:07 AM.
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  #4  
Unread 04-29-2020, 05:09 AM
katydid katydid is online now
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Re: Cancer and childhood neglect/abuse

A lot of what I have feelings about I thought may have been to do with the cancerians attachment to the childhood. With me not having a clear and solid childhood to refer to, it makes this an unsteady outlook. One that isn’t good for my self concept. My mum doesn’t remember a lot. But it hurts me when she hurts in moments she does express herself. I am very sensitive and in these moments I can’t bear the hurt that I know she feels in guilt. I feel very attached to her, almost as if she is me haha but in a painful and clouded way. I’ve wanted to break off from our relationship because of these things. Very unhealthy and overwhelming to cope with daily. There’s many embedded emotions. My inability to express these or even know what it is I’m feeling most of the time, is very, very difficult. This is often the case across the board of life. Can you tell me more about what you mean when talking about the grand cross being a possible instigator?


"With me not having a clear and solid childhood to refer to, it makes this an unsteady outlook. One that isn’t good for my self concept. My mum doesn’t remember a lot"

I think this^^^ stuff is from your Neptune in the 4th, which is part of the Grand Cross.

The Neptune in the 4th makes memories of your childhood foggy. They may seem dream like or surreal. And that may be because they were. Mom may have been in an altered state much of the time.

Neptune is retrograde and ruler of the 6th. I think your mother may have been overwhelmed, just trying to take care of day to day tasks, like where to live and what to eat, how to pay the bills. Larger and more important tasks, like raising a child and helping them with their self esteem and their education etc, may have been lost in the mix. [Neptune sq Saturn, opposed Merc in Leo]


"But it hurts me when she hurts in moments she does express herself. I am very sensitive and in these moments I can’t bear the hurt that I know she feels in guilt."

The Mercury/Neptune opposition and Mercury/Uranus opposition seem to be in play here.

The Neptune in the 4th is your confusing memories of childhood, and the opposition to Mercury in Leo is your attempt to understand it, express it and ask your Mother questions you may have, concerns you may have or just the need for more communication about it.

Also, the Moon/Chiron squaring that Mercury could be part of this painful memories situation, as it rules the 10th, part of the IC/MC axis. Moon/Chiron is an emotional wound in the 2nd, in Scorpio. Hopefully there was no sexual or emotional abuse lurking below that conjunction.



What is really interesting about your chart is the exact midpoint thing going on.

Neptune, at first glance, looks like it is not hooked into the Grand Cross. But in fact, Mercury pulls it tightly into that cross.

Look at Uranus/Neptune conjunction. The midpoint of those 2 planets is 5 degrees Aquarius. So Mercury is exactly opposite the conjunction. That is very powerful and it makes that conjunction very intense, and not 'wide' like it seems at first glance.

The same with the Moon/Chiron opposition to Saturn. The midpoint is 5 degrees, which makes Mercury the exact T-square trigger.

OKAY, the point of all that is to say that this is a very 'exact' Grand Cross, even though at first glance it looks to be wide.

Unpacking a Grand Cross takes awhile so this might take awhile...

Part 2 coming soon...

Last edited by katydid; 04-29-2020 at 08:05 PM.
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  #5  
Unread 05-11-2020, 02:24 PM
or1000 or1000 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
A lot of what I have feelings about I thought may have been to do with the cancerians attachment to the childhood. With me not having a clear and solid childhood to refer to, it makes this an unsteady outlook. One that isnít good for my self concept. My mum doesnít remember a lot. But it hurts me when she hurts in moments she does express herself. I am very sensitive and in these moments I canít bear the hurt that I know she feels in guilt. I feel very attached to her, almost as if she is me haha but in a painful and clouded way. Iíve wanted to break off from our relationship because of these things. Very unhealthy and overwhelming to cope with daily. Thereís many embedded emotions. My inability to express these or even know what it is Iím feeling most of the time, is very, very difficult. This is often the case across the board of life. Can you tell me more about what you mean when talking about the grand cross being a possible instigator?


"With me not having a clear and solid childhood to refer to, it makes this an unsteady outlook. One that isnít good for my self concept. My mum doesnít remember a lot"

I think this^^^ stuff is from your Neptune in the 4th, which is part of the Grand Cross.

The Neptune in the 4th makes memories of your childhood foggy. They may seem dream like or surreal. And that may be because they were. Mom may have been in an altered state much of the time.

Neptune is retrograde and ruler of the 6th. I think your mother may have been overwhelmed, just trying to take care of day to day tasks, like where to live and what to eat, how to pay the bills. Larger and more important tasks, like raising a child and helping them with their self esteem and their education etc, may have been lost in the mix. [Neptune sq Saturn, opposed Merc in Leo]


"But it hurts me when she hurts in moments she does express herself. I am very sensitive and in these moments I canít bear the hurt that I know she feels in guilt."

The Mercury/Neptune opposition and Mercury/Uranus opposition seem to be in play here.

The Neptune in the 4th is your confusing memories of childhood, and the opposition to Mercury in Leo is your attempt to understand it, express it and ask your Mother questions you may have, concerns you may have or just the need for more communication about it.

Also, the Moon/Chiron squaring that Mercury could be part of this painful memories situation, as it rules the 10th, part of the IC/MC axis. Moon/Chiron is an emotional wound in the 2nd, in Scorpio. Hopefully there was no sexual or emotional abuse lurking below that conjunction.



What is really interesting about your chart is the exact midpoint thing going on.

Neptune, at first glance, looks like it is not hooked into the Grand Cross. But in fact, Mercury pulls it tightly into that cross.

Look at Uranus/Neptune conjunction. The midpoint of those 2 planets is 5 degrees Aquarius. So Mercury is exactly opposite the conjunction. That is very powerful and it makes that conjunction very intense, and not 'wide' like it seems at first glance.

The same with the Moon/Chiron opposition to Saturn. The midpoint is 5 degrees, which makes Mercury the exact T-square trigger.

OKAY, the point of all that is to say that this is a very 'exact' Grand Cross, even though at first glance it looks to be wide.

Unpacking a Grand Cross takes awhile so this might take awhile...

Part 2 coming soon...
Hello katydid, just to let you know i have acknowledged and read through some of your post but not had chance to sit and reply yet. 🙏
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  #6  
Unread 05-12-2020, 10:01 PM
curiousabout77 curiousabout77 is offline
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Re: Cancer and childhood neglect/abuse

This sounds like a situation where you and your mum need counselling to unpack all the trauma and pain that seems to have turned your mum into a very reluctant and psychologically wounded parent which has now turned you into the walking wounded as well and your both now stuck in a world you don't know how to get out of. You have jupiter on the 7th house cusp so I feel like you could do well with outside help.
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  #7  
Unread 06-06-2020, 12:43 AM
or1000 or1000 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
A lot of what I have feelings about I thought may have been to do with the cancerians attachment to the childhood. With me not having a clear and solid childhood to refer to, it makes this an unsteady outlook. One that isnít good for my self concept. My mum doesnít remember a lot. But it hurts me when she hurts in moments she does express herself. I am very sensitive and in these moments I canít bear the hurt that I know she feels in guilt. I feel very attached to her, almost as if she is me haha but in a painful and clouded way. Iíve wanted to break off from our relationship because of these things. Very unhealthy and overwhelming to cope with daily. Thereís many embedded emotions. My inability to express these or even know what it is Iím feeling most of the time, is very, very difficult. This is often the case across the board of life. Can you tell me more about what you mean when talking about the grand cross being a possible instigator?


"With me not having a clear and solid childhood to refer to, it makes this an unsteady outlook. One that isnít good for my self concept. My mum doesnít remember a lot"

I think this^^^ stuff is from your Neptune in the 4th, which is part of the Grand Cross.

The Neptune in the 4th makes memories of your childhood foggy. They may seem dream like or surreal. And that may be because they were. Mom may have been in an altered state much of the time.

Neptune is retrograde and ruler of the 6th. I think your mother may have been overwhelmed, just trying to take care of day to day tasks, like where to live and what to eat, how to pay the bills. Larger and more important tasks, like raising a child and helping them with their self esteem and their education etc, may have been lost in the mix. [Neptune sq Saturn, opposed Merc in Leo]


"But it hurts me when she hurts in moments she does express herself. I am very sensitive and in these moments I canít bear the hurt that I know she feels in guilt."

The Mercury/Neptune opposition and Mercury/Uranus opposition seem to be in play here.

The Neptune in the 4th is your confusing memories of childhood, and the opposition to Mercury in Leo is your attempt to understand it, express it and ask your Mother questions you may have, concerns you may have or just the need for more communication about it.

Also, the Moon/Chiron squaring that Mercury could be part of this painful memories situation, as it rules the 10th, part of the IC/MC axis. Moon/Chiron is an emotional wound in the 2nd, in Scorpio. Hopefully there was no sexual or emotional abuse lurking below that conjunction.



What is really interesting about your chart is the exact midpoint thing going on.

Neptune, at first glance, looks like it is not hooked into the Grand Cross. But in fact, Mercury pulls it tightly into that cross.

Look at Uranus/Neptune conjunction. The midpoint of those 2 planets is 5 degrees Aquarius. So Mercury is exactly opposite the conjunction. That is very powerful and it makes that conjunction very intense, and not 'wide' like it seems at first glance.

The same with the Moon/Chiron opposition to Saturn. The midpoint is 5 degrees, which makes Mercury the exact T-square trigger.

OKAY, the point of all that is to say that this is a very 'exact' Grand Cross, even though at first glance it looks to be wide.

Unpacking a Grand Cross takes awhile so this might take awhile...

Part 2 coming soon...
ďMercury in Leo is your attempt to understand it, express it... ď youíd say I want to communicate about this in general. With mercury being in my late 10th/11th.
With cancer being my sun sign but Scorpio moon and it being in the 10th, this is something Iím learning- youíd agree- that Iím regenerating those old moon style patterns. Making this possibly my want to uncover the 4th house neptune more.
Iíve been interested in the Wide conjunction between uranus and neptune. Because even though neptune is surreal and dreamy, itís in a quite zainy way. Which is uncomfortable for cancer. Which Iím wondering if this adds to my inability to feel connected to my home like a cancer would be. Adding to having to finding the home within. But itís in the 10th. So itís a balancing act of this libra rising I have. In a way I donít necessarily see a place for to overcome these traumas because my chart is flipped inside out and ... what does this cancer sun on the Midheaven do for me? Iím supposed to live out this soul ironies of my suns trauma through public recognition? Which is never going to heal it.
Hmmmmm it could be considered like a balancing act between Scorpio (moon) and Aquarian (Neptune). I guess Iím trying to understand my sun sign in a way that is going to make this journey a bit easier. I look outwards for these cancer things. Rather than home. Iím super interested in Neptune in the 4th being apart of the Grand Cross.. Iím going to see what I can find.

Last edited by or1000; 06-06-2020 at 02:38 PM.
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  #8  
Unread 06-07-2020, 08:09 PM
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Zora Zora is offline
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Re: Cancer and childhood neglect/abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by or1000 View Post
I just want your opinion on a cancer sun being someone who experienced neglect/abuse. I’m just really confused about a lot of things. How do I move on from it when I just want to be able to hold onto something to the point I tell myself that things weren’t that bad? My relationship with my mum is so sad. I don’t know what to think of her inc her character in the past, and love her a lot but she was involved in some of my trauma. Totally unstable/nonexistent family unit. Every time I talk about the past, I just can’t face it. It hurts so much.





Hello Or1000,


to me your mother and your childhood experience is shown with sign and ruler in your 4th house. Your 4th house is on critical degree of zero sag- like this house subject is sitting between two signs, two chairs - an indescisive und unsure and unsafe being at home feeling - not feeling as welcomed -not even on earht itself- not knowing what is happening in the next moment.


Doubled by jupiter as your ruler of 4th house - mother and mother as first female model role and mother experience in childhood -and jupiter squaring your mars. Mars is ruler of 8th house -with mars/Pluto energy correspondence - 8th is among others - genetic inheritance, the psyche, subconsiously stored memory, traumata, shocks and near to death and death experience in own life.


Seems to me that your mother herself had a shock experience or difficulties at time of your birth, too. Or short before during her pregnancy with your father.

Saturn as co-ruler of intercepted capricorn in 4th house is in 8th house at apex of a t-square with mercury and neptune in 4th house. Looks like your mother didn't felt herself much accepted in her own family.

And probably experienced something already in her pregnancy with you - as mercury rules your 12th houses - also prenatal house showing experiences during pregnancy in body unity with your mother.

Your mother probably had to fight for your birth and your life - with mercury trining your pluto in 3rd house (breathing issues ?)

Your asc is as well on sensitive degree of zero libra - venus inconjuncts very exact your moon as your midheaven ruler and venus trines uranus in 5th - house of father and uranus squares moon.

What do you know from your own birth and circumstances around your own birth ?


As birth experience is stored in subconscious memory frozen at the age and in with the feeling of the time it happened. And can later come up again when starting a new beginning in your life.


.



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Last edited by Zora; 06-07-2020 at 08:17 PM.
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