Hi dear Nightfall,
It's interesting to read this all here. I come surely from Western astrology, - nevertheless i see you moon in 8th house, ruled by Mars (Aries), close to NN, and on top square with Mars in 5th, ruled by Saturn.
And i take this all as complicated - or let's say a challenge!
to have fifth house ruled by Saturn, Capricorn, is anyway not easy. Saturn is not very experienced with games and creativity, - so my first advice would be: look for structure and order in the things you enjoy. Try to find "games" which fulfill such "frames" Saturn loves.
Free Mars! He wants to play, - 5th is not just sex, it's fun, joy, amusement.
Now, your Moon has a burden to carry with NN so closeby. And 8th house is not an easy placement. Moon in Aries deals with anger and darker emotions, - but you have Jupiter in the 7th, - so there is light as well! You have passion with Venus and Pluto in Scorpio, - try to find a way and place for to express all this! -
Again, look for a creative way to use your talents!
This all is a burden if you sit and cry. - But if you see the strength in it all, the power, the "load", you could as well use it for to become happy!
Your chart doesn't show destiny, it shows a palette of colors you have gotten, - now start seeing the painting of your life!
More general: You are anyway in a complicated age, - i work as a teacher and see my students struggle between 28 and 32, it's a change around the 30ies, and lots of pressire from outside - be patient with yourself. specially if others aren't!
it's not easy to grow up, not easy to find yourself and meaning in your life. - Your burden - or light! - is to see and feel that strongly (moon in 8!) - Now, take it as your talent, your sensitivity, to be aware of the difficulty, and let this all guide you. Guidance doesn't mean instant wisdom, it means you can bare the darkness without compensation, - wait for the light...
- so much better than to awake with 40, stuck in the wrong life, wrong marriage, wrong profession.
believe me, - i have seen this pretty often!
I wish you patience and strength!