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  #51  
Unread 06-16-2020, 12:12 AM
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With no mask on your face..
You big disgrace...
Spreading your germs all over the place.

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  #52  
Unread 06-17-2020, 11:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CapAquaPis View Post
With no mask on your face..
You big disgrace...
Spreading your germs all over the place.
Wuhan, Wuhan, got you!!
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  #53  
Unread 06-18-2020, 02:28 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Politics is bad: the CCP, the WHO, Trump, the US government (Pelosi part of it?), hyper-sensational media and nationalists (wanting the US vs China war).

Science is good! They study the nature of viruses and can find treatments and vaccines. They're heroes...and here's the other heroes we should applaud:
Medical care staffers, first responders (law enforcement, firefighting, ambulance drivers, civil defense, military and health depts.), virtual education (teachers), truckers, postal officers and essential workers (like grocery store associates, farm laborers, meatpacking plant employees and delivery people).

Lesson: Politics puts us in a pandemic, but science can find a way out of it.
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  #54  
Unread 06-18-2020, 03:00 AM
david starling david starling is offline
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Smile Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Knock knock.

Who's there?

WHO

WHO who?

WHO cares?

Last edited by david starling; 06-18-2020 at 08:33 AM.
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  #55  
Unread 06-19-2020, 11:07 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #56  
Unread 06-22-2020, 10:51 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #57  
Unread 06-22-2020, 10:55 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #58  
Unread 06-22-2020, 04:40 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Bad news: Beef/meat shortage. Good news: TP and paper towels are back!

(Seriously, stop hoarding...and think about meatpacking plant workers getting sick to support a certain food supply).
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  #59  
Unread 06-22-2020, 08:48 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
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  #60  
Unread 06-23-2020, 12:24 AM
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Why are many people avoiding grocery stores, but really want to go back to bars, churches, gyms, restaurants and family gatherings during a pandemic???

(and that's the joke)
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  #61  
Unread 07-03-2020, 12:29 PM
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Smile Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

So, this guy I worked with about a month ago sees me while we're driving, stopped at a light. He rolls down his passenger side window, and says "Hi! How are things?" Then he gets upset because he can tell I'm not sure who he is. He says "Hey, it's me, Sam."
Then I remember him, and I say apologetically, "Oh, sorry Sam, but I didn't recognize you without your mask on!"

[Actually occurred yesterday]

Last edited by david starling; 07-03-2020 at 06:23 PM.
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  #62  
Unread 07-04-2020, 06:13 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

At least I don't have to fake smile anymore with these 24/7 masks
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  #63  
Unread 07-04-2020, 06:24 AM
david starling david starling is offline
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Smile Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by AppLeo View Post
At least I don't have to fake smile anymore with these 24/7 masks
Also, no need to shave every day to look well groomed!
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  #64  
Unread 07-05-2020, 06:17 AM
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Talking Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor and a scientist all walk into a bar.

I'm just kidding, they know better.
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  #65  
Unread 07-05-2020, 08:19 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #66  
Unread 07-05-2020, 11:32 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

To accommodate Anti-maskers, we have provided a space 40 feet west where you can stare at your reflection in the window since apparently you're the only person you care about.
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  #67  
Unread 07-12-2020, 02:31 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

3 more jokes from my Facebook back in March when all this crisis started:
Don't worry America, the Coronavirus is nothing compared to windmill cancer - President Donald Trump.

Space aliens debate whether they should land on earth in 2020:
Can we land yet?
No, they're fighting over toilet paper.

This is Bill.
Bill wants to take a trip.
But Bill doesn't want to contract Corona.
Bill chooses to take a trip at home, With mushrooms.
Be responsible, Be like Bill.
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  #68  
Unread 07-12-2020, 06:28 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Not really a joke, but I notice that no one coughs anymore unless they absolutely have to. Kind of funny to me.
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  #69  
Unread 07-12-2020, 09:48 PM
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Smile Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

An actual tee shirt with the wearer's face on the front, captioned "this is how I look without a mask on". My sister saw a guy wearing it in Arizona. Wonder how many others have had the same idea?
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  #70  
Unread 07-16-2020, 12:28 AM
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Talking Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Humans are smarter than a stupid virus.

We wear masks, stand 6 feet/2 meters apart from another and wash our hands.

"Look, another person I can infect...uh oh, AH! I CAN'T!" - poof, virus gone.

Coronavirus, you can't beat us.
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  #71  
Unread 07-22-2020, 04:04 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Copypasta from the YT video comments:
I've been working feverishly on some Coronervirus jokes... (drums); Is a free flu vaccine a cheap shot? (drums); During this Covid thing, my wife and I decided to separate...(drums); I told my wife that I don't want to die...she said, 'Good! You're thinking outside the box'... (drums); Then she asked me how many pall-bearers I wanted at my funeral...I said, 'Let's not get carried away here'...(drums); I told my wife: 'I think I'm losing my memory.' She said, 'forget about it...' (drums); If Covid comes from bats, how can you have baseball season? (drums); It's estimated that 3% of the people who attend a baseball game will get Covid, but that's just a ballpark figure...(drums); I admit it: I was the one who released the virus. Well... I wanted to get out of jury duty... (drums); a restaurant owner wanted to beat Covid by serving meals on the roof. She said, 'Food's on the house'... (drums).
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  #72  
Unread 07-29-2020, 08:17 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #73  
Unread 07-29-2020, 08:18 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #74  
Unread 09-05-2020, 10:52 PM
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Talking Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

This new virus is like a roommate who was kicked out of an earlier host species coming into your home (the human race) and wants to live with us forever
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  #75  
Unread 09-05-2020, 10:56 PM
david starling david starling is offline
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Smile Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by CapAquaPis View Post
This new virus is like a roommate who was kicked out of an earlier host species coming into your home (the human race) and wants to live with us forever
It left the bats alone after they started wearing masks and social distancing!
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