This synastry is full of trines, so why does it fail so badly?

Her Chart:
My Chart:
Composite:
Synastry:

This is someone who I've always been fond of, when we originally met I happened to tease her a bit much. Over the years I grew feelings for her but was constantly scared off by the rejection I would face with her. Now I've come to turns over how deeply I care for her, and as I've decided to be more consistent in her life she does seem to care more but still not to the degree of my feelings.

The synastry we have almost seems too good with so many more trines than other aspects. Yet it's a struggle to really make any progress with her, I'm unsure why.

I've asked about her on here before without much help though this community tends to be very talented and resourceful, so I'm hoping for some insight on the workings of our relationship and any advice on how to overcome whatever obstacles are there. Thank you so much

Hey man.

Firstly, I feel like I should warn you against using your full name on your birth chart, friend. If you type up "Identity theft" in our search engine, you'll understand why that's such a big risk.

As for the charts...well...let me you ask you a question: What kind of obstacles are you facing? See, with too many trines, the relationship can become boring as its an easy flowing aspect. Squares and oppositions bring out challenges in ourselves in which we grow and learn from - hence the need for some squares or oppositions.

So I'll ask, friend: What kind of obstacles are you facing together?

Well when we spend time together it seems to go well on my end, it just never seemed to go very far on hers. She also keeps to herself alot and takes awhile to get used to people, which I guess I have been rather inconsistent with her and would go periods of time without talking often.

Lately since I've changed that shes seem to grown closer to me. I'm often very flirty with her and she acts like she dislikes it, but doesn't seem to want me to stop and when I have tried to stop talking to her (I get scared shitless by these emotions) she has pleaded me not to.

She'll also talk about the guys she likes with me, classic friendzone style lol. It's been getting better certainly lately though.

She honestly drives me crazy, I'm unsure what to do about it lol

Honestly I always felt overwhelmed by whatever feelings she made me feel. That feeling of either run away or risk complete and utter misery when it ends badly

On a basic level Scorpio and Aries are not the most compatible. Not terrible either but more of a friendship material.

AstroPunter86 said:

On a basic level Scorpio and Aries are not the most compatible. Not terrible either but more of a friendship material.

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I guess that would make sense. I just don't see why i find myself falling head over heels when I talk to her. I wish I could see her as friendship material ._.

Kibblerz said:

Well when we spend time together it seems to go well on my end, it just never seemed to go very far on hers. She also keeps to herself alot and takes awhile to get used to people, which I guess I have been rather inconsistent with her and would go periods of time without talking often.

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This sounds like classic "Too many trines" syndrome. By that I mean the friendship feels so easy going that one or both feel like there isn't a need to stay in contact all that much. Boredom might start to creep in with that mindset, which suuuucks about those trine-y relationships.

Lately since I've changed that shes seem to grown closer to me. I'm often very flirty with her and she acts like she dislikes it, but doesn't seem to want me to stop and when I have tried to stop talking to her (I get scared shitless by these emotions) she has pleaded me not to.

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Huh. I wonder if she likes the attention but not enough to warrant a relationship. Sounds very confusing, m8.

She'll also talk about the guys she likes with me, classic friendzone style lol. It's been getting better certainly lately though.

She honestly drives me crazy, I'm unsure what to do about it lol

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The talking about other guys thing...hmm. Methinks two things, note: These two are not the only things possible, but rather they simply could be.

Either,

She talks about other guys to you just to see your reaction to said information. Think of it like a test of sorts.

Or she truly views you as a friend...which would suuck in the case of your emotions.

Have you tried just outright telling her you wanted something more?

Blaze said:

This sounds like classic "Too many trines" syndrome. By that I mean the friendship feels so easy going that one or both feel like there isn't a need to stay in contact all that much. Boredom might start to creep in with that mindset, which suuuucks about those trine-y relationships.



Huh. I wonder if she likes the attention but not enough to warrant a relationship. Sounds very confusing, m8.





The talking about other guys thing...hmm. Methinks two things, note: These two are not the only things possible, but rather they simply could be.

Either,

She talks about other guys to you just to see your reaction to said information. Think of it like a test of sorts.

Or she truly views you as a friend...which would suuck in the case of your emotions.

Have you tried just outright telling her you wanted something more?

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She's known my feelings for her for quite awhile. Though I don't think she ever took them too seriously. I guess I also have talked about other girls to her plenty too. So understandably she would doubt my feelings. It was rather recently that I stopped holding back on them and showed myself to be more serious.

I was also always more of the joker type and I guess I didnt seem very genuine.

Also I know sometimes she'll tell me about a guy just to see me get "jealous", which really just might be because I tend to respond humorously. I also started stopping by her work some days just to keep the contact from losing.

Also when we text, unless one of us is working, we both respond rather immediately. She also says I entertain her.

moons scorpio-sag, lords mars-jup friendly, mutually inclined;
her sun-mer-moon scorpio secretive, suspicious, sentimental, passionate,
research-occult aptitudes,

she has mars-venus sag 9th for spirituality,
mars-venus prone to mere attractions in a relationship,
her mars sag seeking males who are sportive, etc
your moon sag at zero deg and weak, just evolving into being a sag;


her jup acq 11th for income-friendships,
seeking a mystic-reformist-elderly friends, husband;

your venus pisces elevated seeking a self-less artistic wife/spouse;


asc pisces-sag, same lord jup, compatible, but square,
challenge in the relationship same time;
pisces spiritual, wise, ethical, sensitive;
sag philosophical, ambitious, optimistic, sportive, impulsive;


suns scorpio-taurus in opp, lords mars-venus, mere attractions,
but prone to conflict,
your sun-mars taurus 5th for romance creative, extra-energetic, stubborn;
sat debilated impulsive aries 5th affecting luck-romance-children etc


both sat aries debilated, impulsive, inclined to social work;

both rahu-ketu virgo-pisces, like poles repel?
rahu virgo seeking intellectualism, critical thinking-attitude;
ketu pisces inherently spiritual, hyper-sensitive;


her lords 1/7 jup-mer over acq-scorpio sq, unfriendly lords sat-mars,
prone to conflict in a relationship; her sun scorpio 7th tending to separation;

your lords 1/7 jup-mer over pisces-aries, friendly lords jup-mars,
seeking mutuality in a relationship;


both 7th house virgo-gemini inimical for pisces-sag asc,
stress-delay in relationship-marriage, abdominal health issues perhaps;

her 7th lord mer over scorpio 8th prone to sickly spouse;
your inimical mer over unfriendly impulsive aries 4th,
affecting domestic comforts-property matters-mother, under stress-delays;


hope information helps take stock and find helpful,
do share pointwise feedbacks true-untrue-insightful etc,

wishing well,


kshantaram

I can definitely see your attraction toward her. You are pulled toward her because in a sense, you are both headed in the same direction, or at least trying, from a place of spirituality (Pisces) toward service and critical thinking (Virgo). The alignment of her north node to your MC will cause you to be pulled toward her. On a subconscious level, this is a wake up call for you to focus more on your MC to have better balance in your own life and keep you moving forward.

I disagree with the idea that Scorpios and Aries don't mix (it was stated somewhere above). Synastry is much more complicated than that. For example, you have Pluto conjunct your ascendant. That is a very plutonic (Scorpio) influence in how you interact with your world, so you actually do "get" one another on that level.

Also, you will see that her mercury (your DC ruler) aspects your AC ruler. This is another hook for you, on top of the other compatible aspects.

The communication between you seems to be sensitive too. You both hit one another in a water house, which is never light and passing, and then directly hit a highly sensitive spot in one another's chart (Saturn and Chiron). The water houses are where we get deep. Mercury and communication is significant in this relationship because it is the ruler of the DC for both of you. So pay attention to what these planets are doing in synastry and composite, and def take note of how angle rulers aspect one another.

This partner is a very sensitive and deep person. Superficial or careless/lighthearted means of connecting isn't something that will resonate with her. And you both trigger feelings of inadequacy in one another.

I honestly don't think this is really THAT great of synastry....the lure is that it's got some classic "hooks" between charts that create a powerful pull. The general synastry is not super bad, but its not super great either. you guys don't support one another in the deepest/interpersonal parts of each other's chart. Your connections are in the external world. That may be fine four a while, but it will fail to satisfy your inner need. But if you want to give it a chance, you have to be direct, honest, and kind. Her mercury falls in your 12H....it's a tough placement for the key player in this synastry. Use that Jupiter of yours to actively and directly reach out.

Hopefully I provided some good leads that will help you understand the attraction you continue to have for her. My advice is to focus first on building a friendship with no strings attached....just get to know one another. You'll eventually know.

Be sure to go back and check how her rulers connect with yours too, if at all. You should also see how each person's natal planets hit the composite. (I have not done this, but suspect she may not have as many connections to the composite as you.) Often in unrequited love, the natal chart of the less interested party is not as impacted by the composite as the more interested party.....

.....OR you guys can just have sex and take it from there. Why not just cut to the chase here. You're both Plutos for crying out loud. Enough testing, just hop in bed and get on with it. Do it every day for a year. Then decide. Just a thought.

S.

The greatest synastry in the world doesn't matter if fate is not there to keep the people together and they're not heading down the same path in life.

This is another example of why people shouldn't ignore the nodes...

Your south node is not only in the same sign as her ascendant (really not ideal...but it's not closely conjunct so we can overlook it a bit) but her south node is also with both your benefics, Venus and Jupiter.

She is not going to be willing to receive any of those things from you and in yourself they'll be degraded.

Your moons are also in aversion in 2nd/12th position from each other, with hers before yours. Also not ideal for continuing down the same path in life.

Also, I don't really see very good sexual compatibility...in fact, I'd wager if you two did get together there would be cheating involved eventually.

Synastry also doesn't over-rule the natal chart. Hers is not exactly perfect relationship wise. North node in the 7th. It's lord which I judge as quite problematical in the third (a slightly difficult place) from north node, keeping her closed off to utilizing the opportunities around her relating to relationships readily. Her moon is problematical which will make her closed off to receiving a lot of good in the world. Saturn in fall with another important point...speaks for itself.

Moreso though, it looks like she has been going through a bad period of loss the last year...hardly a good time.

I know you asked what you can do to overcome the obstacles, but most of the problems are on her end...and these really aren't obstacles I think you should be looking to overcome.

Rawiri:

Her SN is actually in her 12th, which is a big difference from Asc or even the 1st house. Orb is wide enough for me to officially park it in 12.

The significance of the synastry isn't due to her own SN aspects, but the fact that her SN/NN conjuncts his IC/MC. It's the familiarity of the similar path (balancing "where I come from" to "where I'm headed"), like the similar evolution between IC to MC and SN to NN.

S.

Rawiri said:

The greatest synastry in the world doesn't matter if fate is not there to keep the people together and they're not heading down the same path in life.

This is another example of why people shouldn't ignore the nodes...

Her south node is not only in the same sign as the ascendant (really not ideal...but it's not closely conjunct so we can overlook it a bit) but also with both the benefics, Venus and Jupiter.

She is not going to be willing to receive any of those things from you and in yourself they'll be degraded.

Your moons are also in aversion in 2nd/12th position from each other, with hers before yours. Also not ideal for continuing down the same path in life.

Also, I don't really see very good sexual compatibility...in fact, I'd wager if you two did get together there would be cheating involved eventually.

Synastry also doesn't over-rule the natal chart. Hers is not exactly perfect relationship wise. North node in the 7th. It's lord which I judge as quite problematical in the third (a slightly difficult place) from north node, keeping her closed off to utilizing the opportunities around her relating to relationships readily. Her moon is problematical which will make her closed off to receiving a lot of good in the world. Saturn in fall with another important point...speaks for itself.

Moreso though, it looks like she has been going through a bad period of loss the last year...hardly a good time.

I know you asked what you can do to overcome the obstacles, but most of the problems are on her end...and these really aren't obstacles I think you should be looking to overcome.

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I know when it comes to relationships she isn't the best. But neither am I, and part of me thinks I could help open her up to what she's missing in life. I've certainly had to change how I deal with her since we met, my original behavior making her nearly hate me.

Part of me just wants to be with her because she makes me feel safe. Everything she does is odd and quirky and I love it lol. I've honestly never been one whose any good at relationships, though I'm guessing two idiots in a relationship might not work too well 😂😂😂

sadge: You alerted me to a boo-boo I made. I meant specifically to mean that HIS south node is conjunct her ascendant (rather widely as I noted) and her south node conjunct his Jupiter (specifically). So thank you for that and I'll fix it...

Though personally I use whole signs (for the most part) and so certainly do consider her south node in her first. But I can understand others referring it to the 12th. That is a house issue.

And I agree with you about the similarity...and actually most of what you wrote.

Rawiri......yeah, I understand why whole signs can still carry influence (with wide orbs, I see it as subtle background music), but I've learned that tight orbs matter for magnetism and whether or not the pull creates real, compulsive, organic-driven action. Overall, no biggie.....

....but the significance between the 12th and 1st is huge for synastry. And how it feels completely different to have someone's planet in your 12th, 1st, or directly conjunct your AC. Big, big difference in the real world for the planet holder too. So when we're talking about the AC line, accuracy and attention to degrees will matter to see which side of the line a planet or node will falls in.

But I'm with you on the nodes.....gotta pay attention to those buggers! They'll getcha every time, for better or for worse.

Thx......S.

AstroPunter86 said:

On a basic level Scorpio and Aries are not the most compatible. Not terrible either but more of a friendship material.

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I am a Scorpio. Been married to an Aries for 35 years now. We were never in the friend Zone.

Aries and Scorpio are both ruled by Mars energy. It can be a very intense and passionate relationship.

any feedbacks on the reading offered, wishing well,


kshantaram

kshantaram said:

any feedbacks on the reading offered, wishing well,


kshantaram

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Seems like a very in depth reading, though when you talk of her inclination to spirituality I'm unsure whether it just hasn't developed in her yet or what. I tend to be into buddhism and all the spirituality, she seems to not care a bit for such things though.

So little update. In the past week she's been getting suprisingly less resistant to me. I guess she might be taking me more seriously now.. Also I am starting to apply that jupiter to our friendship more and going to attempt to remain mindful lol.

Thanks for the readings everyone, you guys are epic. I tend to have difficulty thinking abstractly and separating my self/bias from my interpretation of personal charts.

Not sure how this'll all end up, but it atleast gives me incentive to work out my jupiter muscles since i've been far from my spiritual path. Now to see if I can maintain a detached and mindful nature with her and not get too caught in the results.