I met her after she finished her tutoring side job yesterday, we went back to her place and then went to the mall near her home for dinner. I bought some things for her, wouldn't really call them gifts because they're more practical in nature. She mentioned how her mattress is a bit too hard and uncomfortable for her so I got her a soft one partly made of cotton. I got her to try it and she ended up really enjoying it.
OK I know this isn't a relationship advice website but during dinner I did sort of confront her (but quite gently) and told her I tried because I was so worried about her. I also asked her why she reacted the way she did when I happily gave her more of my personal details.
She told me I'm a very nice and caring guy and she would have gone for me if she had not gone through everything. However, she's in essence, divorced, and she's afraid of getting hurt again by me or anyone else. She said she hopes I'll find someone more suitable. She said that I'm still a youth and there are certain things I've yet to understand. I asked her why is it I HAVE to understand those things and go through them, and she didn't give me a direct reply.
She said she'd rather be alone if she can't find someone suitable, and it made me feel a bit sad when I heard her say that. Then I asked her what kind of person she'll be looking for if she sets her mind to finding someone again. She said she'd like someone with more experience, someone who's more "mature" and knows how to handle things. Not necessarily someone who's also divorced like her, but a guy who's had a couple of women in his life. I asked her whether she'd feel uncomfortable knowing that a guy like that might have quite a history, that I would be turned off by a girl like that, she said she wouldn't mind the guy having a past as long as he's not too...... non-committal and a playboy, that we've all made mistakes.
I tried holding her arm and her hand yesterday, not a full grip on her hand but I wanted to touch it. Her hand moisturizer smelled really good, and it smelled like..... her. So we walked back to her home, I helped her put the mattress on her bed and then we sat down and talked. She boiled some water for me and we chatted. She's attending the school's annual New Year party this evening and she sort of consulted me on whether she looks good enough and how she should dress.
I said she looks fine the way she is, that I think she looks good whether she dresses up or not. I want her to look natural. So we sat there and chatted, eventually she got a bit tired and laid on the mattress, face flat. Then there was some physical contact but nothing very sexual, and she didn't mind.
I can tell she likes me, I sense she likes me more than just as a friend. Star crossed sounds way too dramatic perhaps but it might be misplaced time and circumstances that have led to what her and I are going through now. Referring back to the South Node connection, do you believe this could be karmic punishment for me mistreating her in past lives?
I could definitely see myself falling in love with her and wanting a peaceful family life with her. I believe she feels more for me than just friendship but for her things are a lot harder and there's much more to consider due to what she's been through.
She did drop what believe might be a "hint". She said that if someone's been with a few guys or girls and still think that one they knew at first is the best, then that's a sign of a real connection.
I also speculate that she may be very drawn to a noticeable water energy in someone because her sun is opposite her Saturn in Scorpio and her Mercury is opposite Pluto in Scorpio. I feel it could be a part of herself that she hasn't quite tapped into. Water is more feeling and intuitive than her stable Earth energy and it's complementary, she's trying to integrate it into herself even though at times it can feel so at odds with what she's used to.
Unfortunately she doesn't know her time of birth so I'll maybe get her to ask her mom or something, her mom should know. Once that's figured out we can know her house placements and planetary houses.
She said I'm the kind of person who not only tells a girl to something, but does that exact thing for the girl. Now I am already feeling an attraction. The way she is, the way she looks, her voice and overall manner are so soft and pleasing to me.
P.S. Personally I haven't noticed Gemini men being very feminine or anything. One Gemini guy I know likes military things and he's also really into motorbikes and the Wild West. Another Gemini guy I know is very business-oriented and I don't see a high degree of femininity in him. Unfortunately I don't have Cancer moon, I have Aquarius moon but I wouldn't say I am detached. In fact, relationships and people drain a lot of energy because I'm always so concerned about people (on a personal, not an impersonal level).
It's funny because I can still see a hint of Aquarius in me in the sense that I don't get caught up in the emotions of a group and group activities drain me, and it's really easy for me to remove myself from whatever the group is doing and feeling. However, things become different when it's one-on-one, that's when you really see my sensitive, caring, and considerate side that often overextends itself because I just want to do so much and I'd feel emptiness if I don't.
Usually it's the other way around. You don't see people's moon sign in action until you know them better, but for me it seems to be the opposite. I alternate between being talkative and very withdrawn depending on how I feel. Maybe the withdrawn part is also part of Cancer's protective instinct.