About 3 years ago i met a guy from a different ethnical background at work. In the beginning, work-related things bond us and what seemed to be the start of a friendship to me, slowly evolved into a romantic relationship - this was in September, 2012. I found that in August we both had similar transits around the same time, which indicated the start of a love bond - i had t. Mars sextile Sun, he had t. Mars conjunct Sun. I know Saturn started transiting Scorpio in October, which will prove to be significant as you read my story.
I would say we had an unusual relationship with many crazy events hitting us; mutual support and helping each other, as well as learning new exciting things from one another really bound us strongly. Sadly, trust was never at the base of our relationship, because of his tendency to lie about some things. A year later, in mid-October, 2013, he had an accident with his car (he only got a scratch from it, but the car was totally wrecked), which was the cause for a major drama with his folks. Consequently, this event put a big strain on our relationship, since neither his nor my parents were very supportive of us, mostly because his family is a minority in my country. I personally never cared about this ethnical difference, it actually excited me, even though he suspected me to be ashamed of him, but he had many insecurities anyway. So from there on our relationship went downhill - he turned cold on me and started playing games, which was draining me and i could hardly trust him. This broke us off in May, 2014, because he had been pushing me away and distancing himself from me for the past few months. A few months later he sent me a letter pouring his hurt and hate on me, blaming me for many things. I still loved him dearly at the time so i responded to him with love, as i had just started to get a better understanding of my own feelings as well as his. This was around December, 2014 when Saturn had just started transiting my Sun. In the next few months i gained even more insight into our relationship, i also started rebuilding my personality in a better direction, while we were still rarely communicating, briefly.
In August, 2015 (during Saturn retrograde in Scorpio) we talked about meeting because he had left something belonging to him with me (i know this is very cliched especially with Scorps). We met on the 1st of September, he was very intense, planning for us to do many things, and so here we are, giving our relationship a second chance. Things were wild and exciting again, almost like when we first met each other. Prior to this i had intensively studied the Scorpio sign and thought i was quite prepared for a second round with him, believing we would be together forever. Soon after the initial euphoria was gone, i realised he acted differently. His financial situation had improved greatly and he was more confident in certain ways. He no longer showed jealousy or possessiveness, but i also felt like he wasn't completely invested in us, more self-centred than i've ever seen him before. This, along with other things that happened, made me more cautious and a bit worried.
We also had sex almost every time we were together, which was never the case before. Soon enough i started having persisting visions, during our intercourses, of him being with other random women... The sex just felt a bit different than before, not as emotional as it used to be, more like as if it was a routine for him. At this point i had serious concerns that he may just have a hidden agenda... and in late October i found out something shocking... He had become an active member of a forum where men exchange suggestions and experiences with prostitutes. In a way this was no surprise to me and the only thing that relieved me was that he hadn't browsed the forum since we got back together. But finding this absolutely explained why i had such persisting and vivid visions (not dreams, but realistic visions that kept nagging me) of him having sex with other women - they really turned out to be a reality of his recent past.
To top it off, he had become a sailor during our time apart, and most would know what their reputation is. We both were aware that he was going to be leaving soon for a few months course... i had 2 attempts at discussing this topic with him. I was looking for reassurance, that he would not cheat on me, during the course of his sail, to which he always responded "there is no time, we are constantly working". WTF? He personally had told me at some ports they get plenty of time to walk and rest, so his response worried me. It felt like he just couldn't commit to be loyal, or was deliberately avoiding to make a promise he won't be able to keep. Right after his birthday, he became a bit distant, while we were also expecting him to be leaving very soon. Sensing some uneasiness from him, i went on to check the aforementioned forum...and it showed he had started being active again...i was devastated, i felt like he was looking to have as much sex as possible before he has to leave. I don't know if he cheated on me, but a few days later, he suddenly broke it off with me by e-mail. Once again he was blaming me about everything, even silly things like me wanting to spend more time together, knowing that we are going to be apart for a few months. Apparently he decided on his own that we can no longer be together because we're different people. His mother, who is Sun in Cancer, has always been suffocating and manipulating him against me, which became even more apparent in his letter. He had also said i was too demanding of him, which i was not, i was very supportive of him even though i had my worries eating at me. At the end of his letter he had just bragged about what he had done for me, while suggesting that it was never good enough for me and that if i want to i can block him from everywhere. So he decides it's a good idea to dump me like a coward by e-mail, just few days before he has to leave. This made me feel very bitter at first, because it seemed like he had pretended the entire time that things were just fine, and then suddenly decided to end it, saying we couldn't fix things out in 2 months time, where i was the only one initiating conversations and threading carefully with our relationship. He was just a bit too full of himself most of the time, often interrupting me or changing the subject while i was speaking. Knowing Saturn had resumed transiting my Sun in September, i felt more pressured and worried in our relationship, and the personal progress i had made earlier in the year is now affected negatively and i feel like i'm back at the start. And since then a feeling of confusion and maybe anxiety was building inside of me, like, i couldn't be my real self around him for some reason, and couldn't think straight.
I wonder if there's a higher purpose for meeting this Scorpio in 2012...was it fate that introduced us to one another and was it karma when he returned to me in August... or is it better explained by the speculations i developed over the 2 short months we had together... I thought he may be taking an elaborate revenge on me, because he and his mother are convinced i broke up with him back in May, 2014 to be with someone else (how stupid is this entire thing? !they! only see !their! side of the story. yes, at points it felt as if i am dating both him and his mother...). I think this may be supported by me feeling that i was being used by him for sex. I honestly felt like i'm being robbed inside-out while reading his e-mail, because he couldn't honestly invest himself in the relationship and didn't put much, if any, effort in repairing or rebuilding it, and then all of the blame was put on me, and he couldn't even do it in person! Just after reading his e-mail i went on his Facebook, and found out something by chance - he had been admiring and commenting on one girl's profile since last summer (i actually used to know this girl in person because we used to go to the same school, but there's no way he knew that). I can say that he had decreased commenting on her profile after we reunited in September, but to me it became clear that i wasn't his one and only.
Since then i have been trying to seek answers and consolation in astrology... on the day he sent me the e-mail i noticed i had
Saturn Opposite Moon
Saturn Conjunction Venus
Neptune Square Moon
Neptune Conjunction True Node
Neptune Square Midheaven
Pluto Square Mars
Pluto Sextile Pluto
Pluto Trine Vertex
As i understand, transiting Neptune squaring my Moon, which i've been having since early September, would explain why i had such vivid and accurate visions about him.
on the day we broke it off in May, 2014 i also had
Neptune Square Moon
Neptune Conjunction True Node
Neptune Square Midheaven
Pluto Square Mars
Pluto Sextile Pluto
Pluto Trine Vertex
I'm not sure what this could mean as a whole, but i couldn't see any break-up transits in his chart!
There's only Moon Conjunct Venus and Venus conjunct Venus, which may signify new beginnings in love matters.
His birth time may not be entirely accurate, because he said he was born somewhere between 14-16 pm; i'm more inclined to think it was just past 14 pm, but anyway, this doesn't affect the transits that occur in his chart.
As you can see, we both have difficult Sun-Moon combinations, i'm a Sag with Moon in Gem, which makes me confusing for myself and others, and his waters are perhaps running a bit too deep with Sun in Scorpio and Moon in Cancer.
Would you say it was fated for us to meet and karmic that we got back together and separated again, and how does transiting Saturn first in Scorpio then in Sagittarius, then going retrograde and back in Sag fit into the timings of our relationship? Do you think it's connected? And how come i have the big Saturn break-up aspects in my chart and he doesn't seem to have any? Could it be that our relationship wasn't significant enough for him or am i missing something out? I'm very doubtful he actually found someone else, it's not entirely impossible for him to have felt like he couldn't maintain a long-distance relationship - while he is working as a seaman - but then, he wouldn't have been so nasty in his e-mail... Or he simply cheated on me just before he wrote his e-mail... What are your thoughts and readings on all of this?
I'm reluctant to post a synastry/composite chart, since i don't know his exact birth time, but depending on when it was, at points we may have pretty interesting aspects together.
Anyway, our birth dates are available in the graphical charts above, so feel free to dig deeper if you're up for it.
If you need more detail, please do ask. Thank you in advance.
I would say we had an unusual relationship with many crazy events hitting us; mutual support and helping each other, as well as learning new exciting things from one another really bound us strongly. Sadly, trust was never at the base of our relationship, because of his tendency to lie about some things. A year later, in mid-October, 2013, he had an accident with his car (he only got a scratch from it, but the car was totally wrecked), which was the cause for a major drama with his folks. Consequently, this event put a big strain on our relationship, since neither his nor my parents were very supportive of us, mostly because his family is a minority in my country. I personally never cared about this ethnical difference, it actually excited me, even though he suspected me to be ashamed of him, but he had many insecurities anyway. So from there on our relationship went downhill - he turned cold on me and started playing games, which was draining me and i could hardly trust him. This broke us off in May, 2014, because he had been pushing me away and distancing himself from me for the past few months. A few months later he sent me a letter pouring his hurt and hate on me, blaming me for many things. I still loved him dearly at the time so i responded to him with love, as i had just started to get a better understanding of my own feelings as well as his. This was around December, 2014 when Saturn had just started transiting my Sun. In the next few months i gained even more insight into our relationship, i also started rebuilding my personality in a better direction, while we were still rarely communicating, briefly.
In August, 2015 (during Saturn retrograde in Scorpio) we talked about meeting because he had left something belonging to him with me (i know this is very cliched especially with Scorps). We met on the 1st of September, he was very intense, planning for us to do many things, and so here we are, giving our relationship a second chance. Things were wild and exciting again, almost like when we first met each other. Prior to this i had intensively studied the Scorpio sign and thought i was quite prepared for a second round with him, believing we would be together forever. Soon after the initial euphoria was gone, i realised he acted differently. His financial situation had improved greatly and he was more confident in certain ways. He no longer showed jealousy or possessiveness, but i also felt like he wasn't completely invested in us, more self-centred than i've ever seen him before. This, along with other things that happened, made me more cautious and a bit worried.
We also had sex almost every time we were together, which was never the case before. Soon enough i started having persisting visions, during our intercourses, of him being with other random women... The sex just felt a bit different than before, not as emotional as it used to be, more like as if it was a routine for him. At this point i had serious concerns that he may just have a hidden agenda... and in late October i found out something shocking... He had become an active member of a forum where men exchange suggestions and experiences with prostitutes. In a way this was no surprise to me and the only thing that relieved me was that he hadn't browsed the forum since we got back together. But finding this absolutely explained why i had such persisting and vivid visions (not dreams, but realistic visions that kept nagging me) of him having sex with other women - they really turned out to be a reality of his recent past.
To top it off, he had become a sailor during our time apart, and most would know what their reputation is. We both were aware that he was going to be leaving soon for a few months course... i had 2 attempts at discussing this topic with him. I was looking for reassurance, that he would not cheat on me, during the course of his sail, to which he always responded "there is no time, we are constantly working". WTF? He personally had told me at some ports they get plenty of time to walk and rest, so his response worried me. It felt like he just couldn't commit to be loyal, or was deliberately avoiding to make a promise he won't be able to keep. Right after his birthday, he became a bit distant, while we were also expecting him to be leaving very soon. Sensing some uneasiness from him, i went on to check the aforementioned forum...and it showed he had started being active again...i was devastated, i felt like he was looking to have as much sex as possible before he has to leave. I don't know if he cheated on me, but a few days later, he suddenly broke it off with me by e-mail. Once again he was blaming me about everything, even silly things like me wanting to spend more time together, knowing that we are going to be apart for a few months. Apparently he decided on his own that we can no longer be together because we're different people. His mother, who is Sun in Cancer, has always been suffocating and manipulating him against me, which became even more apparent in his letter. He had also said i was too demanding of him, which i was not, i was very supportive of him even though i had my worries eating at me. At the end of his letter he had just bragged about what he had done for me, while suggesting that it was never good enough for me and that if i want to i can block him from everywhere. So he decides it's a good idea to dump me like a coward by e-mail, just few days before he has to leave. This made me feel very bitter at first, because it seemed like he had pretended the entire time that things were just fine, and then suddenly decided to end it, saying we couldn't fix things out in 2 months time, where i was the only one initiating conversations and threading carefully with our relationship. He was just a bit too full of himself most of the time, often interrupting me or changing the subject while i was speaking. Knowing Saturn had resumed transiting my Sun in September, i felt more pressured and worried in our relationship, and the personal progress i had made earlier in the year is now affected negatively and i feel like i'm back at the start. And since then a feeling of confusion and maybe anxiety was building inside of me, like, i couldn't be my real self around him for some reason, and couldn't think straight.
I wonder if there's a higher purpose for meeting this Scorpio in 2012...was it fate that introduced us to one another and was it karma when he returned to me in August... or is it better explained by the speculations i developed over the 2 short months we had together... I thought he may be taking an elaborate revenge on me, because he and his mother are convinced i broke up with him back in May, 2014 to be with someone else (how stupid is this entire thing? !they! only see !their! side of the story. yes, at points it felt as if i am dating both him and his mother...). I think this may be supported by me feeling that i was being used by him for sex. I honestly felt like i'm being robbed inside-out while reading his e-mail, because he couldn't honestly invest himself in the relationship and didn't put much, if any, effort in repairing or rebuilding it, and then all of the blame was put on me, and he couldn't even do it in person! Just after reading his e-mail i went on his Facebook, and found out something by chance - he had been admiring and commenting on one girl's profile since last summer (i actually used to know this girl in person because we used to go to the same school, but there's no way he knew that). I can say that he had decreased commenting on her profile after we reunited in September, but to me it became clear that i wasn't his one and only.
Since then i have been trying to seek answers and consolation in astrology... on the day he sent me the e-mail i noticed i had
Saturn Opposite Moon
Saturn Conjunction Venus
Neptune Square Moon
Neptune Conjunction True Node
Neptune Square Midheaven
Pluto Square Mars
Pluto Sextile Pluto
Pluto Trine Vertex
As i understand, transiting Neptune squaring my Moon, which i've been having since early September, would explain why i had such vivid and accurate visions about him.
on the day we broke it off in May, 2014 i also had
Neptune Square Moon
Neptune Conjunction True Node
Neptune Square Midheaven
Pluto Square Mars
Pluto Sextile Pluto
Pluto Trine Vertex
I'm not sure what this could mean as a whole, but i couldn't see any break-up transits in his chart!
There's only Moon Conjunct Venus and Venus conjunct Venus, which may signify new beginnings in love matters.
His birth time may not be entirely accurate, because he said he was born somewhere between 14-16 pm; i'm more inclined to think it was just past 14 pm, but anyway, this doesn't affect the transits that occur in his chart.
As you can see, we both have difficult Sun-Moon combinations, i'm a Sag with Moon in Gem, which makes me confusing for myself and others, and his waters are perhaps running a bit too deep with Sun in Scorpio and Moon in Cancer.
Would you say it was fated for us to meet and karmic that we got back together and separated again, and how does transiting Saturn first in Scorpio then in Sagittarius, then going retrograde and back in Sag fit into the timings of our relationship? Do you think it's connected? And how come i have the big Saturn break-up aspects in my chart and he doesn't seem to have any? Could it be that our relationship wasn't significant enough for him or am i missing something out? I'm very doubtful he actually found someone else, it's not entirely impossible for him to have felt like he couldn't maintain a long-distance relationship - while he is working as a seaman - but then, he wouldn't have been so nasty in his e-mail... Or he simply cheated on me just before he wrote his e-mail... What are your thoughts and readings on all of this?
I'm reluctant to post a synastry/composite chart, since i don't know his exact birth time, but depending on when it was, at points we may have pretty interesting aspects together.
Anyway, our birth dates are available in the graphical charts above, so feel free to dig deeper if you're up for it.
If you need more detail, please do ask. Thank you in advance.
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