My life is a failure

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deepminde

Well-known member
Hello,

My life is one big failure. Lets start from my vocation. I have bachelor's degree in field I don't enjoy. I work as a consultant in store. I hate it. I thinking of quit it in September or October and look for job as a librarian. Also I'm thinking to study 1 or 2 foreign languages. Will it be helpful for my carrier? Will I'm able to learn it? Will it be good for my financial situation? Will I have money or success with it?
Actually I don't really know What I wanna be. :(

I don't have a romantic life. I don't feel any deeper connection. I'm afraid of love. I think I run from it. I'm afraid that I will not find the other half :(

My social life also is failing. I don't have many friends and I don't feel that I'm important to those whom I have. My social skills are bad and it is so stressful to meat new people. I run from them too :DD

In general, I feel that I have NO success in life. Is it just some bad period? or my my life is one big failure? Please help.
 
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waybread

waybread

Well-known member
Welcome to the forum.

[Sorry-- I just realized you posted on the Vedic forum. I hope a modern astrology reply is OK, too!]

Your horoscope is by no means the most difficult one I've seen. But with Mars retrograde in your 7th house, you are apt to be very hard on yourself. Mars indicates our natural assertiveness and aggression. When a planet turns retrograde (appearing to move "backwards" in the sky,) its energies get turned inward. You are prone to apply this aggression back at yourself.

The thing to realize is this doesn't objectively mean there is anything wrong with you. Only that you are apt to find fault with yourself, moreso than other people-- who may have goofed up their lives 100x more than you have.

With your sun conjunct Pluto, you are probably very intense! See if you can find the recent sun-Pluto thread here. You may find it worth reading. http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=66701

With your planets in or approaching the 12th house, you probably are a very private person.

I think you'd do well as a librarian, but it's always a good idea to see what the job market is like. And also to recognize that if your thoughts slide along a customary groove of thinking "I'm a failure" than that is the real place to focus.

Fortunately, sun-Pluto can be a huge stand for self-transformation. You could start now to write down, day by day, the areas of your life that are OK with you. The universe notices when we take small steps that stem from our own initiative, and the stand we take for ourselves. We don't look to the "evidence" to make this stand. It is a choice we make.
 
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deepminde

Well-known member
Hi waybread, thanks for replaying.

I sort of can with my degree work as librarian. I don't feel the super duper calling for it but as you mentioned I'm actually very private person and this carrier would satisfied me at the moment.

I just looking for some sort of help. Can you tell more? Is my chat so horrible?

Actually I feel that other people's life are better and something is not write with mine. Don't worry I have had and have a good memories and moments too :)
 
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deepminde

Well-known member
Please reply not only on Vedic astrology I think I posted not where it supposed too be. I don't know how to change it or is it possible even. :pinched:

Please more insight on my chart.
 
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waybread

waybread

Well-known member
Your chart doesn't look so difficult to me. The main aspect that could give you grief is that retrograde Mars opposite Mercury (your cognitive function,) which may influence you to dwell on those hard feelings about yourself. You've got a couple of other placements that could also trend this way (Chiron opposite Saturn, a "yod" pointing to Neptune-Saturn.) Neptune can give either happy illusions or bitter disillusionment, and with Chiron and Saturn in the mix, it's likely to be the disillusionment.

With transiting Pluto now hanging out around your Neptune-Saturn, you may be questioning the structures and assumptions you've made about life. This can be a painful process, but it is ultimately beneficial. Pluto, the underworld god, asks us to metaphorically "kill off" anything "dead" or dying in our lives, so that new growth can take place. With the second house involvement, this may be a good time to rethink and restructure your old beliefs about money and possessions.

If you can, see if you can recognize that this doesn't objectively label you as Big Life Failure. Only, that you are prone to being more critical of yourself than most people would be.

Jupiter square sun is usually not such a difficult aspect, but it may be that you feel you should be able to achieve so much more than you have done so far in your life. (The sun is your core identity; Jupiter in Leo wants to expand what it touches.)

But hey, all those blue lines in your chart should point to energies that flow well in your life. With moon in an exact sextile with Venus, women probably like you-- when you let them. With your sun and moon in good aspect to Saturn, your capacity for hard work and attention to detail should make you a valuable employee.

What would you really like to do? Not what you fear you have to settle for in life, but what do you truly want to do in your life?
 
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deepminde

Well-known member
I know I'm very critical of myself and I really think by this time I have had to achieve more in my life. When I compare myself to others and I know I shouldn't I feel like a loser.

What I want from my life? I REALLY don't know. I feel like a lost puppy in the big big world. I think maybe I wanna work as translator. Have a financial success a.k.a. MONEY. I actually think I'm not destined to. Also, I would like to travel more, have more friends and active social life and finally find the person who will understand me and love me and I would have feelings for him. :)
 
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waybread

waybread

Well-known member
duenderoja said:
Deepminde, you will need to post birth details.
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The chart is posted in the OP. Or did you mean something different?

Deepminde, do you know enough astrology to see how you could use your horoscope to work constructively towards your dreams? Your chart will out in some fashion, but each placement has multiple interpretations, so it is up to each of us as to how we express them.

I would suggest, for your consideration, that you stop defining yourself as a failure. Trust me, there are people who are seriously addicted to drugs or alcohol, in prison, chronically unemployed, homeless or on the verge of it, or co-dependent on an abusive BF. There is such a thing as the "OK life" or the "good enough life."

If you can't let go of the disempowering "I'm a failure" trope, ask yourself, is this all that you are? I doubt it. Chances are you will see elements of your life beyond your negative self-image, that are not failures, and even positive good things. If there is anything in your life now that gives you a sense of competence, no matter how minor your inner critic thinks it is, focus on it as a place to start. Again, start with small steps.

One book I recommend if you've not read it yet, is Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. He spent his early years feeling like an utter failure and was filled with self-loathing until he discovered some simple truths about the nature of being human. This book should be available via your e-reader, at your nearest bookstore, or public library branch. If the library doesn't have it, they can get it for you for free via Inter-Library Loan.
 
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deepminde

Well-known member
waybread said:
Deepminde, do you know enough astrology to see how you could use your horoscope to work constructively towards your dreams? Your chart will out in some fashion, but each placement has multiple interpretations, so it is up to each of us as to how we express them.

I would suggest, for your consideration, that you stop defining yourself as a failure. Trust me, there are people who are seriously addicted to drugs or alcohol, in prison, chronically unemployed, homeless or on the verge of it, or co-dependent on an abusive BF. There is such a thing as the "OK life" or the "good enough life."



No, I started not so long ago.

Actually, I started looking for some answers in psychology but it was unsuccessful. Of course I have a psychological problems other people have them too, but for me it looked like I have a cloud over my head and it's raining all the time and I just could't understand why. So, I decided to look for answers in astrology. It would be helpful if you could explain or teach how to work constructively towards my dreams :)

Speaking about my "failure" life, I know others have it worse and maybe their dream is to have "my OK life", but I think I have potential to achieve more but I just fell and I can't stand up. Also, the people surrounding me is so successful that it constantly reminds me about the "failure" my life is. They don't have it all but they have one or another thing, for instance one became rich, others have incredible carriers not only for their age, found love, have lots of adventures, etc. and I have little. :)

Thanks, for the book suggestion. I will check it out.
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deepminde

Well-known member
kshantaram said:
asc lord jup mid-Aug moves to moon virgo 9th tending to higher studies, psychology etc, and distant travels. jup trine aspect taurus 6th good for employment prospects, while trine aspect over cap 2nd could discount finances, and affecting knees, throat, etc.

jup transit virgo aspect own pisces 3rd supportive of initiative, communications, writings, advisory roles, siblings. sat aspect moon-jup virgo restrictive however, keep expectations moderate.

late 015 rahu true node joins jup-moon virgo 9th, tending to foreign travels, pilgrimage, could vitiate judgment, tend to rise-fall in luck to care.


ketu separative node transit pisces 3rd sensitive-emotional-impulsive, accident prone arms-shoulders-feet etc, impacting siblings-sibling relationship, jup aspect own pisces protective till mid-Aug 016.


hope generic observations-inputs enable reflect further, pick as relevant and integrate ideas-prospects-possibilities as practical on the ground at given point of time, and evolve future plans, building blocks.

could share specific pointwise ground feedbacks per return.


Hello, kshantaram thanks for replaying. :)

I thinking about possibility to study and work abroad for 1 or 2 years. Actually, I had worked abroad, money was better and job was easy but it was a brain waste. So, I decided to go back home because I was sick of the people surrounding me and I was missing my family and friends, though experience was useful. What would you say about this idea? It would be different country.

Also, please if you can share the specific pointwise ground feedbacks you mentioned, I'm very interested. :)
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waybread

waybread

Well-known member
Deepminde, I gotta run now-- we're off camping and off-line for several days. I'll check back on Thursday or Friday.

But just quickly: comparing yourself to more successful people is one of the more soul-destroying habits on the planet. It can so easily turn into envy or jealousy.

One thought exercise, is just to jot down 5 things you like about yourself and your situation. And would you truly wish to trade places with anyone else? The rule of this exercise is that you would have to adopt their entire life 100%-- including their nasty spouse, their annoying habit, the amount of stress they get on the job, and so on.

Also, have you had a medical exam (physical) lately? Explain to the doctor how you're feeling. Occasionally mental/emotional symptoms actually have physical causes. How is your diet and exercise regimen?
 
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deepminde

Well-known member
waybread said:
Also, have you had a medical exam (physical) lately? Explain to the doctor how you're feeling. Occasionally mental/emotional symptoms actually have physical causes. How is your diet and exercise regimen?
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I actually was ill in June and I went to doctor. She told it was cold and prescribed me medication. I did not get better. I didn't really have time to go back to the clinic so my fellow doctor prescribed me antibiotics. I did feel better but I still had a miner headache. I personally, think it's sinusitis. So I did steam inhalations.

And my diet... It is quite healthy but sometimes I want candy :D and I'm to tired to exercise daily or even weekly but I tried on Saturday and my left knee started to hurt so I stopped.

Thanks for your effort to help and have a good time camping. :)
 
K

kshantaram

Premium Member
kshantaram said:
reyrpm

sat own cap 2nd good for earnings, tech aptitude, distant lands.
sat elevated aspect over libra 10th for career.

rahu true node 2nd earnings through foreign sources, foreign languages,
aggressive-abusive speech perhaps. rahu acq reformist, airy, uncertain.

mer-venus 9/10 lords over 12th, literary-oratory aptitudes, denote foreign lands,
mer for communications-writings aptitude.

wonder whether interested in research-teaching-writing in psychology-education etc,
language research, library research, etc, application of technology/internet-information processing.


gemini 7th inimical for sag asc, stress-delays in career, relationship.
mer 7th lord over 12th tending to foreign lands-relationship,

mars 12th lord over 7th inimical gemini retro delaying relationship, may be at 28+.

mars 5th lord for education-romance over 7th inimical gemini and retro delaying things,
tending to be separative as 12th lord to care.
while 7th lord mer too over 12th tending to be separative-distant lands etc.

mars 11th lord over 7th gains through spouse-marriage, mars retro/delay.
retro mars towards taurus aspecting scorpio 11-12
protective of income-gains-foreign lands, but not good for health of friends-friendships.


 taurus 6th preference for creative work environments,

venus aspect own taurus 5-6th good promoting health and creativity.
protective of education-romance-children-position-social status.

6th lord venus over 12th scorpio for foreign lands, research-occult-alchemy-pharmacy aptitudes,



sat just moved direct sag asc opp mars gemini 7th, 2 more yrs, moving towards optimism,

but sat-mars opp tending to hard work, struggle, strained relationship, health issues, same time, to care.

sat sag aspect own acq 2nd protective of finances, but health issues in family.


asc lord jup mid-Aug moves to moon virgo 9th tending to higher studies, psychology etc, and distant travels.

jup trine aspect taurus 6th good for employment prospects,

while trine debilated aspect over cap 2nd could discount finances/bank balances, and affecting knees, throat, etc.

jup transit virgo aspect own pisces 3rd supportive of
initiative, communications, writings, advisory roles, siblings.
sat aspect moon-jup virgo restrictive however, keep expectations moderate.
late 015 rahu true node joins jup-moon virgo 9th, tending to foreign travels, pilgrimage,

jup-rahu could vitiate judgment, tend to rise-fall in luck to care.


ketu separative node late 015 transit pisces 3rd sensitive-emotional-impulsive,
accident prone arms-shoulders-feet etc,
impacting siblings-sibling relationship,
jup aspect own pisces protective till mid-Aug 016.


could explore aptitudes for psychology-education-literature and research-analytical research etc therein,
deploying technology, information technology, seeking opportunities in govt, corporates, foreign lands, etc.

moon virgo 9th aptitude for psychology etc, perfectionist, critical thinking.
sun scorpio 11th research-occult aptitudes, gains through govt-corporates.
scorpio reserved, sentimental, suspicious, magnetic personality, etc

sat own cap 2nd good for earnings in distant lands, through technology,
elevated aspect over libra 10th for career.
while 9/10 lords mer-venus over 12th for luck-prosperity-career in distant-foreign lands,

and with literary-oratory-research aptitudes, sun-venus scorpio research aptitude, alchemy, etc.
venus 9th lord for luck from moon over scorpio 12th for foreign lands.


asc lord jup-ketu leo 8th for chronic health issues and losses and research aptitude,
prone to pain-injury-surgery heart-stomach-urological-liver-piles etc,
jup-ketu leo commanding attitude, high self-pride, sudden decisions.

9/10/7 lords mer-venus over 12th promoting prosperity in foreign lands,
foreign relationships but prone to separation, keep expectations moderate.


jup-rahu transit virgo 9th late 015-016 tending to foreign travels, prone to rise-fall to care.

sat transit sag aspect jup-rahu virgo 9th restraining luck, education, distant travels etc same time.
keep expectations moderate.


sag asc philosophical, optimistic, ambitious, impulsive. moon virgo critical thinking-perfectionist.
sun-venus scorpio reserved-sentimental, research-occult aptitudes,
jup-ketu leo 8th research-exploratory aptitude high self-pride, sensitive, sudden decisions.
sat cap practical, hardworking, ambitious, wanting to reach the top, earnings in distant lands.
rahu 2nd earnings through foreign sources.

mars retro inimical gemini 7th relationship-marriage under stress-delay, gains through spouse.
lords 1/7 jup-mer over leo-sag trine friendly signs inclined to a relationship, mer aspect own gemini 7th.
mars gemini analytical-logical in approach towards interpersonal relations, mer over sag philosophical,
mars retro towards creative taurus prone to attractions and passionate but delayed.
sun-venus scorpio reserved but passionate. venus scorpio 12th seeking comfort in foreign lands,
spouse could be possessive.

moon virgo compatible with moons virgo, taurus, gemini, leo, libra.


wishing well,


kshantaram
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pick as relevant and integrate ideas-prospects-possibilities, personal strengths, accepting the self,
as practical on the ground at given point of time, and evolve future plans, building blocks step by step.

best wishes!
 
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deepminde

Well-known member
kshantaram said:
deepminde said:
it is i who is checking with you on the ground feedbacks/relevance of the interpretations on the ground,

while you tend to revert and ask me again for some more ground feedbacks, seem strange, some communication gap as it seems!
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I'm happy with what you wrote me. That sentence Please more insight. Up up up was not specifically for you it was for everyone.

Thanks, again :)
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deepminde

Well-known member
I did some personal research and I see my natal horoscope is bad.

Jupiter in 8th house is bad. The most malefic house will bring unexpected events, shorter life? maybe. Plus ketu (according to vedic astrology) is here. Super bad for Jupiter. ketu too :/

Marriage... Now I see that mars in 7th house is not good for quiet, stable marriage. Jupiter in 8th house maybe sudden divorce.

And children? How about biological children... Rahu in 2th house, plus 5th house lord 12th house. (vedic astrology)

And according to my AC, people should see me optimistic, positive, chatty... but I don't see this qualities in me. I'm private, I won't be first to talk and I will not know what to say. I think I look scared.

Moon in virgo. Constant thinking. I think it gives me paranoia and depression :DD

And other bad aspects I'm to lazy write about...

Why nobody told me, that my natal chart is so "hard"?
 
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deepminde

Well-known member
kshantaram said:
deepminde said:
glad to note you feel happy! but could care to share salient feedbacks on the various points in the detailed reading effort, traits, talents, health, events, prospects, insights, etc, how relevant and useful to reflect, consider, true-untrue-good-bad-worse, etc

wishing well, kshantaram
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Hi :),

I didn't know you wanted a feed back... Let me remember...

I did not go to foreign lands for career, but I did find a job related with ' foreign sources, foreign languages...'
'sat own cap 2nd good for earnings in distant lands, through technology,
elevated aspect over libra 10th for career.
while 9/10 lords mer-venus over 12th for luck-prosperity-career in distant-foreign lands'

No meaningful relationship still...
'mars 11th lord over 7th gains through spouse-marriage, mars retro/delay.'
Only personal interest in psychology, no higher studies or distant travels. 'asc lord jup mid-Aug moves to moon virgo 9th tending to higher studies, psychology etc, and distant travels.'
'could explore aptitudes for psychology-education-literature and research-analytical research etc therein,
deploying technology, information technology, seeking opportunities in govt, corporates, foreign lands, etc.'

Click to expand...
 
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