Father-Son Relationship (Court Case)

melina

Well-known member
My son's father has not been physically in his life since his birth. I divorced him and have taken him to court for child support (court date next week). He lives overseas and is going to extreme lengths not to pay even the basic amount of child support. This court case has been going on for over 2 years now.

The father sees the son on webcam occasionally, but he doesn't interact with him. In person, the few times that the father has visited, he is cold and unapproachable and makes my son uncomfortable. He is also a chain smoker which irritates the heck out of my little guy.

I have been studying my son's natal chart to see what their relationship will be like (and if there is any sign of a step-father).

I have been raising him on my own (financially and physically) since his birth. The father lives on another continent and has only visited 3 times since his birth. The father told my lawyer that if the son goes to visit him in his home country, he will make sure I will never see him again ....

Because I've been doing it on my own, I think I am the 4th house and the 10th house. His father is the Sun and Saturn, but there aren't really any aspects that I see that would show anything negative.

I'm trying to figure this out. There is no way the father will move to this country cause he doesn't want to pay taxes and enjoys the luxurious lifestyle he has overseas.

I don't see how they will have a good or normal relationship given the distance and lack of involvement on the father's part ....

What father-son issues do you see in my son's chart? I actually suspect the father is bi-polar or has some sort of personality disorder ... would this show in my son's chart?
 

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melina

Well-known member
anybody???

this is really bothering me. i don't understand how the chart can say he will have a good relationship with the father when the father is overseas and has relatively little contact.

*very confused*

also, the moon aspects with my son (all those squares!!!) are freaking me out.
 

Vista

Well-known member
My son's father has not been physically in his life since his birth. I divorced him and have taken him to court for child support (court date next week). He lives overseas and is going to extreme lengths not to pay even the basic amount of child support. This court case has been going on for over 2 years now.

The father sees the son on webcam occasionally, but he doesn't interact with him. In person, the few times that the father has visited, he is cold and unapproachable and makes my son uncomfortable. He is also a chain smoker which irritates the heck out of my little guy.

I have been studying my son's natal chart to see what their relationship will be like (and if there is any sign of a step-father).

I have been raising him on my own (financially and physically) since his birth. The father lives on another continent and has only visited 3 times since his birth. The father told my lawyer that if the son goes to visit him in his home country, he will make sure I will never see him again ....

Because I've been doing it on my own, I think I am the 4th house and the 10th house. His father is the Sun and Saturn, but there aren't really any aspects that I see that would show anything negative.

I'm trying to figure this out. There is no way the father will move to this country cause he doesn't want to pay taxes and enjoys the luxurious lifestyle he has overseas.

I don't see how they will have a good or normal relationship given the distance and lack of involvement on the father's part ....

What father-son issues do you see in my son's chart? I actually suspect the father is bi-polar or has some sort of personality disorder ... would this show in my son's chart?

Hi there,
I really don't see your son being affected by his father, or lack of one all that much. In fact, I think the non relationship will continue.

As for his Moon, it has one square and one opposition to Neptune and Venus, but his Moon is in Taurus and angular where it's exalted and part of a Earth Grand Trine with Jupiter and Saturn! He has ways to work this out, do not worry.
Does he have any male influence in his life as in a grandpa he gets to see a lot or when he is a little older, some sort of mentor or big brother. I think this would be important for him to have to be well rounded.

Edit: The 10th house is ruled by Saturn and is opposed to Uranus. Since we are using this house for the father, this would seem appropriate with Uranus being the planet of rebellion, disruption and erratic behavior.
 
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melina

Well-known member
Thanks for responding Vista!!

He does not have any male in his life, which is what is also worrying me. My father passed away when my son was born and my brother lives on another continent and only visits once per year. I have no other cousins or uncles who can fill that void. I'm scared he will be susceptible to his father's manipulations ..... it would be nice if he had a step-father in the picture, but I don't know if that will happen any time soon.
 

Vista

Well-known member
Thanks for responding Vista!!

He does not have any male in his life, which is what is also worrying me. My father passed away when my son was born and my brother lives on another continent and only visits once per year. I have no other cousins or uncles who can fill that void. I'm scared he will be susceptible to his father's manipulations ..... it would be nice if he had a step-father in the picture, but I don't know if that will happen any time soon.

There are organizations out there that could provide a mentor for your son.
Try Googling Big Brothers and Sisters of " " " whatever city you are in and see what pops up. I did so and a lot of different sites popped up. One of the biggest problem when boys do not have fathers in the pictures they become a very high risk of becoming involved with gangs and or ending up in jail. I am not saying this happens to all who don't have fathers, but why take a chance. At least he knows who his father is which is better than not knowing.
 

waybread

Well-known member
I hope your ex does pay child support, but if he lives overseas, it could be an ongoing battle; because even if a court orders him to pay it, you would need a third party to deduct the child support money from your ex's income and deposit it to your bank account. If making the payments is still left up to your ex, it will be hard to make him pay if he doesn't want to.

If we do a "turned houses" look at the chart, the mother is traditionally indicated by one's 10th house; and then "mother's money" would be an 11th house matter. This suggests that your son does see you as either struggling financially, or else hurt (Chiron) and disillusioned (Neptune) by your financial matters.

So it will be important to give your son confidence that you can make it financially, even without a lot of income.

And under no account let your son visit his father overseas! Your ex sounds like a vindictive person.

You know, I think your son will do OK without his natural father, so long as you don't make a big issue out of it. Your moon (Mom) makes one square to Neptune/Chiron suggesting that he sees you as unhappy. Moon opposite Venus is not really a tough aspect due to the "softer" nature of these planets. Maybe your son sees you as having an emotional conflict between being a mother (moon) and wanting to be someone's GF or wife (Venus in the 7th.) His moon also makes some favourable aspects, which are all to the good.

The hardest thing about a divorce for children is when one or both parents is openly critical of the other parent, and drags the child into the conflict. The best thing you can do, I think, is let your son know he is loved and appreciated by the other people in his life, and let Dad recede into the background.

Being a single mother of a young child is very difficult, but this is the time to show your son your strength and independence.

Good luck, Mama!

Yikes, Vista! There are millions of boys in mom-headed households out there, and most of them grow up just fine.
 
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Fragoso

Well-known member
What father-son issues do you see in my son's chart? I actually suspect the father is bi-polar or has some sort of personality disorder ... would this show in my son's chart?


Hello. :innocent:
No, your child chart in my opinion can't show his father mental heath's problems. The chart of your child just can tell you the idea that he will have of his father, i mean the projection of a masculine character in the family/society and his rule on it. Just in a very quick way, his sun trines neptune... Almost all sun neptune aspects brings an absent father... The person consider that the father wasn't there or the father was to avoidant.

Fragoso
 

Vista

Well-known member
Hello. :innocent:
No, your child chart in my opinion can't show his father mental heath's problems. The chart of your child just can tell you the idea that he will have of his father, i mean the projection of a masculine character in the family/society and his rule on it. Just in a very quick way, his sun trines neptune... Almost all sun neptune aspects brings an absent father... The person consider that the father wasn't there or the father was to avoidant.

Fragoso


That's interesting, what about Sun to Neptune hard aspects, as well as the sextile and conjunction? Is it specifically just the trine?
 

Fragoso

Well-known member
That's interesting, what about Sun to Neptune hard aspects, as well as the sextile and conjunction? Is it specifically just the trine?

Hello. In general it's all sun-neptune aspects. If you check a list of famous people with hard aspects (square and opposition) many of them consider the father wasn't there when they need or consider to have an absent father. But, in some cases, even hard aspects, the people idealize the father figure in a very neptunian way, like «my father is the best person in the world», «My father has a big heart», ...

Fragoso
 

Vista

Well-known member
Hello. In general it's all sun-neptune aspects. If you check a list of famous people with hard aspects (square and opposition) many of them consider the father wasn't there when they need or consider to have an absent father. But, in some cases, even hard aspects, the people idealize the father figure in a very neptunian way, like «my father is the best person in the world», «My father has a big heart», ...

Fragoso


Thank you for explaining! Just as Sun in hard aspect to Moon usually indicates divorced parents of the native or that they were completely disconnected as a couple as in maybe staying together for the kids sake.
 

melina

Well-known member
I don't expect my ex to pay child support, but i had to go through the courts to ensure that I have sole legal custody and he cannot take my son out of the country or jurisdiction. Child support can't be enforced anyway (meaning garnishment of wages) because of where he works.

You know, I worry about what affect all of this will have on my son. He is only 3 but I never say anything negative about the father to him or in his presence. The father, on the otherhand, would say things about me to my son even when he was only a year old. He gets very frustrated with my son on webcam cause he doesn't sit and have a conversation with him or do as he is told by the father. He's only 3 ...... (just turned 3) ....

I am thinking of putting him into karate to help his confidence and self-esteem. I am doing my best, but he is still really passive, especially around other kids. I'm scared he won't be able to stand up for himself, even verbally, to bullies once he starts school.

I didn't realize that a trine between the sun-neptune could actually be negative .... if i don't have a partner in my future, then I will have to put him into a Big Brothers program.
 
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