love-thinking
Well-known member
Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum but I've been interested in astrology for quite some time especially after calculating the compatibility between me and two guys in my life.
So I regret the day, I used subliminals to attract soulmates into my life because I can't deal with this anymore and I feel strained.
18 days ago, I broke things off with a who I had a double-wammy venus-mars conjuction, and double-wammy venus-pluto squares with. We also have venus-uranus conjunction, eros-venus conjuntion(his eros is on my venus), moon-psyche(his moon on my psyche) conjunction, moon-dark moon lilith conjunction (moon on my dark lilith) and psyche-venus(his psyche is on my venus but I'm not sure what this means) We also have a uranus-neptune(I'm the uranus) conjunction. His venus is on my sun sign and my jupiter is on his sun sign. I've heard that in astrology a girl's jupiter tells you about what man she'll end up with and a guy's venus will tell him what kind of girl he'll end up with. I'm not sure how true that is.
Uranus-Neptune and Psyche-moon apparently heightens conciousness and indicates some telepathic cord. I've been having dreams of him since the day I left him. I had deja vus when I first met him and I remember my dreams way more often than I did especially if they involve him which it seems like it is starting to. My name is the wife of the prophet he was named after, and we have many syncronicities, and he called me on 11:11(apparently 11:11 is a sign for twin flames?) twice. Now that I've left him, I can't get him out of my mind. I can't think about anything but him.
So why did I leave him? Few months ago, I met a guy(let's call him Guy #1) who I'm almost sure is my soul mate. He's my ideal man in almost every way, and even though the intensity I feel for this man is high, there's a softer theme here. He's the man that I have an eros-psyche conjunction with as well as sun-moon conjunction, lilith-sun conjunction, psyche-sun conjunction, eros-lilith conjunction and many others. We have no filters when we're talking, we often can intuitively know when the other is hurt. Our fights make us closer and he always puts my feelings before his ego ALWAYS. He's a humble and god-fearing man who would never hurt people. He's one of the most honest and self-less man I've ever known and he said I was one of the sweetest girls he's ever met. We're supposed to be enemies and we've met in the most unusual circumstances and our life paths are totally opposite but the admiration we have towards eachother is beautiful. If there was one guy, I'd move mountains for, it is him. He even said he'd marry me if we were the same religion. We have debates about religion, spirituality, and philosophy. We were on a search for god together before the next ******* arrived. That's how we started our union. We were never in a relationship but we knew we wanted eachother and couldn't get rid of eachother. I even thought he was my twin flame.(Because I had dreamt him regularly, and had two sex dreams of him which was rare for me, I also had a deja vu when I met him.) I decided to stop talking to him and I allowed him to pursue on the path of the religion he was on. And I was busy with my life at that point.
Then comes along Guy #2, the attraction was electric, almost animalistic just like our venus-pluto squares say it will be. It was over-consuming with a clear obsessive vibe. We entered a relationship immediately. Jealousy started very early on in both of us to a point where he was starting to control the clothes I wear(tight shirts showing my shoulders? hell no lol). I'd get jealous if other women would say hi to him(he's very attractive) but I'd never show it. I once mentioned that I like girls and I'd go lesbian for this singer(Lana Del Rey) and leave any man for her. He wasn't fascinated, more like revolted and told me that he wasn't like other men that find their women doing sexual things with another woman attractive. Turned me on though.
It's like at his place, one moment I'd be on my feet making out with him and the next, I'd be on the floor with him on top of me, smothering me, biting, sucking my neck. It was ridiculously wild. At moments it felt as though, he wanted to control everything about me and mold me into his little play thing and I literally thought once we're hooked, that's it, there's no way out. A lot of persophina and hades dynamics actually. He'd make me feel insecure about myself and then make me feel like the most beautiful creature he can't lay his eyes off of. But when he made me feel bad about myself, I'd tell him if he wanted to date other women, he could because of my own insecurities. He'd get angry. Told me it felt as if he was running after me. He'd also demand affection and I'm not a very affectionate individual lol. There were also definitely ego clashes, arguments way early on.
But this is the thing, if it wornt for guy #1, this man would probably be the centre of my life right now. But I'd always compare the two, all the time and as you all know it Eros is always the better man than both Mars and Hades, and I'd rather be Psyche than vain, shallow and jealous Venus or Naive Persophina for that matter. Comparing the two is my mistake, yes but I couldn't help myself.
Fast forward a little, way too much sexual aggressiveness, he did something sexually I wasn't too fond of and then made me feel like **** for not wanting to continue. Made me want to cry. I realized that if these over-consuming chaotic dynamics followed me to first year university, forget passing my courses at a rigorous program, I'd be too worried about being pregnant 24/7 and dwell over my insecurities and my over-consuming feelings for him(I'm a virgin and he wants to have sex without condoms) to even read a line out of a text book.
So I left him. He walked away. I started crying and my friend picked me up. I messaged him that night telling him that I didn't appreciate the sexual act that he unpredictably did on me and my hang-ups about sex come from my child hood. I told him very personal things that I didn't tell anyone(not even Guy #1) and that I was sorry and that I don't want him to remember me in a negative light. Two days later, he asked to meet up with me to talk about it so I went to meet him at the nearest intersection from his place.
I tell him my feelings. I tell him that we should be friends and that I want him to date other women and if we still liked each other, I'd completely give myself to him. He raised his voice at me(I haven't had a single person raise their voice at me like that for years), called me selfish, that if he wanted to date other women he would, said that everything I said was BS and I wasn't being honest(he thought I wanted to get back together with him), and it wasn't fair that I was playing with his emotions and that it's very selfish of me. He blamed his sexual aggressiveness and unpredictability for being horny and me for 'wanting it too.' But nothing can justify him being so insensitive when I didn't want to do a particular act. I couldn't take it, and I walked away from him.
I caught a fever which lasted for a week afterwards and I'd cry almost every night after that. I hated him but a part of me loved him at the same time because despite everything, we've gotten so close.(We lived like a married couple despite being strangers a week from then) So I decide to message him telling him how my offer in friendship still stands and that I'd never gotten this close to a man before and I'll always be there for him. No reply to this day so I delete and block him in everything. My friends hate him.
I've tried to reconnect with Guy #1 but I've realized the passion that I had for him is gone. But he's always going to remain in my life and be there for me and in my heart, which I can't say the same for guy #2. Admiration is still there and I'd do anything for him like I'd do anything for my best friend. I can't be with him due to religious differences and he's very religious and he'd never touch me.(which was a huge turn on the a few times we've met before Guy #2 entered the picture).
I've dreamt about Guy #2 a lot of times. He's apologized in my dreams and told me everything I wanted and needed to hear. I dreamt about him yesterday night and it's been 19 days. Sexually he's ruined it for every single guy that will be entering my life from this day forward. I fantasize about him a little too much. I want him so badly but I feel pathetic for even saying that because I know if my friends had a boyfriend that treated them like that, I'd want to beat the **** out of him. Since then, I've been wasting my time gaining an interest in astrology and I compared my charts with these two guys, and realized why the attraction was so strong between them and I.
Anyways, it feels like **** trying to get over him and I feel like I at least need his presence in my life even if we aren't dating, even if I'd see him with other women. But I have no idea what to do about it. Any suggestions?
And if you were to compare the two types of conjunctions, what is the more significant attraction?
So I regret the day, I used subliminals to attract soulmates into my life because I can't deal with this anymore and I feel strained.
18 days ago, I broke things off with a who I had a double-wammy venus-mars conjuction, and double-wammy venus-pluto squares with. We also have venus-uranus conjunction, eros-venus conjuntion(his eros is on my venus), moon-psyche(his moon on my psyche) conjunction, moon-dark moon lilith conjunction (moon on my dark lilith) and psyche-venus(his psyche is on my venus but I'm not sure what this means) We also have a uranus-neptune(I'm the uranus) conjunction. His venus is on my sun sign and my jupiter is on his sun sign. I've heard that in astrology a girl's jupiter tells you about what man she'll end up with and a guy's venus will tell him what kind of girl he'll end up with. I'm not sure how true that is.
Uranus-Neptune and Psyche-moon apparently heightens conciousness and indicates some telepathic cord. I've been having dreams of him since the day I left him. I had deja vus when I first met him and I remember my dreams way more often than I did especially if they involve him which it seems like it is starting to. My name is the wife of the prophet he was named after, and we have many syncronicities, and he called me on 11:11(apparently 11:11 is a sign for twin flames?) twice. Now that I've left him, I can't get him out of my mind. I can't think about anything but him.
So why did I leave him? Few months ago, I met a guy(let's call him Guy #1) who I'm almost sure is my soul mate. He's my ideal man in almost every way, and even though the intensity I feel for this man is high, there's a softer theme here. He's the man that I have an eros-psyche conjunction with as well as sun-moon conjunction, lilith-sun conjunction, psyche-sun conjunction, eros-lilith conjunction and many others. We have no filters when we're talking, we often can intuitively know when the other is hurt. Our fights make us closer and he always puts my feelings before his ego ALWAYS. He's a humble and god-fearing man who would never hurt people. He's one of the most honest and self-less man I've ever known and he said I was one of the sweetest girls he's ever met. We're supposed to be enemies and we've met in the most unusual circumstances and our life paths are totally opposite but the admiration we have towards eachother is beautiful. If there was one guy, I'd move mountains for, it is him. He even said he'd marry me if we were the same religion. We have debates about religion, spirituality, and philosophy. We were on a search for god together before the next ******* arrived. That's how we started our union. We were never in a relationship but we knew we wanted eachother and couldn't get rid of eachother. I even thought he was my twin flame.(Because I had dreamt him regularly, and had two sex dreams of him which was rare for me, I also had a deja vu when I met him.) I decided to stop talking to him and I allowed him to pursue on the path of the religion he was on. And I was busy with my life at that point.
Then comes along Guy #2, the attraction was electric, almost animalistic just like our venus-pluto squares say it will be. It was over-consuming with a clear obsessive vibe. We entered a relationship immediately. Jealousy started very early on in both of us to a point where he was starting to control the clothes I wear(tight shirts showing my shoulders? hell no lol). I'd get jealous if other women would say hi to him(he's very attractive) but I'd never show it. I once mentioned that I like girls and I'd go lesbian for this singer(Lana Del Rey) and leave any man for her. He wasn't fascinated, more like revolted and told me that he wasn't like other men that find their women doing sexual things with another woman attractive. Turned me on though.
It's like at his place, one moment I'd be on my feet making out with him and the next, I'd be on the floor with him on top of me, smothering me, biting, sucking my neck. It was ridiculously wild. At moments it felt as though, he wanted to control everything about me and mold me into his little play thing and I literally thought once we're hooked, that's it, there's no way out. A lot of persophina and hades dynamics actually. He'd make me feel insecure about myself and then make me feel like the most beautiful creature he can't lay his eyes off of. But when he made me feel bad about myself, I'd tell him if he wanted to date other women, he could because of my own insecurities. He'd get angry. Told me it felt as if he was running after me. He'd also demand affection and I'm not a very affectionate individual lol. There were also definitely ego clashes, arguments way early on.
But this is the thing, if it wornt for guy #1, this man would probably be the centre of my life right now. But I'd always compare the two, all the time and as you all know it Eros is always the better man than both Mars and Hades, and I'd rather be Psyche than vain, shallow and jealous Venus or Naive Persophina for that matter. Comparing the two is my mistake, yes but I couldn't help myself.
Fast forward a little, way too much sexual aggressiveness, he did something sexually I wasn't too fond of and then made me feel like **** for not wanting to continue. Made me want to cry. I realized that if these over-consuming chaotic dynamics followed me to first year university, forget passing my courses at a rigorous program, I'd be too worried about being pregnant 24/7 and dwell over my insecurities and my over-consuming feelings for him(I'm a virgin and he wants to have sex without condoms) to even read a line out of a text book.
So I left him. He walked away. I started crying and my friend picked me up. I messaged him that night telling him that I didn't appreciate the sexual act that he unpredictably did on me and my hang-ups about sex come from my child hood. I told him very personal things that I didn't tell anyone(not even Guy #1) and that I was sorry and that I don't want him to remember me in a negative light. Two days later, he asked to meet up with me to talk about it so I went to meet him at the nearest intersection from his place.
I tell him my feelings. I tell him that we should be friends and that I want him to date other women and if we still liked each other, I'd completely give myself to him. He raised his voice at me(I haven't had a single person raise their voice at me like that for years), called me selfish, that if he wanted to date other women he would, said that everything I said was BS and I wasn't being honest(he thought I wanted to get back together with him), and it wasn't fair that I was playing with his emotions and that it's very selfish of me. He blamed his sexual aggressiveness and unpredictability for being horny and me for 'wanting it too.' But nothing can justify him being so insensitive when I didn't want to do a particular act. I couldn't take it, and I walked away from him.
I caught a fever which lasted for a week afterwards and I'd cry almost every night after that. I hated him but a part of me loved him at the same time because despite everything, we've gotten so close.(We lived like a married couple despite being strangers a week from then) So I decide to message him telling him how my offer in friendship still stands and that I'd never gotten this close to a man before and I'll always be there for him. No reply to this day so I delete and block him in everything. My friends hate him.
I've tried to reconnect with Guy #1 but I've realized the passion that I had for him is gone. But he's always going to remain in my life and be there for me and in my heart, which I can't say the same for guy #2. Admiration is still there and I'd do anything for him like I'd do anything for my best friend. I can't be with him due to religious differences and he's very religious and he'd never touch me.(which was a huge turn on the a few times we've met before Guy #2 entered the picture).
I've dreamt about Guy #2 a lot of times. He's apologized in my dreams and told me everything I wanted and needed to hear. I dreamt about him yesterday night and it's been 19 days. Sexually he's ruined it for every single guy that will be entering my life from this day forward. I fantasize about him a little too much. I want him so badly but I feel pathetic for even saying that because I know if my friends had a boyfriend that treated them like that, I'd want to beat the **** out of him. Since then, I've been wasting my time gaining an interest in astrology and I compared my charts with these two guys, and realized why the attraction was so strong between them and I.
Anyways, it feels like **** trying to get over him and I feel like I at least need his presence in my life even if we aren't dating, even if I'd see him with other women. But I have no idea what to do about it. Any suggestions?
And if you were to compare the two types of conjunctions, what is the more significant attraction?