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  #1  
Unread 05-17-2015, 11:56 AM
brilo brilo is offline
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I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Hello everyone! This is my first post and I am glad I have come across this interesting and helpful forum. You guys are great!

Here's the story:
In 2014 I finished highschool and by the end of the year I moved from home to attend college. I am studying Management and economy in tourism, which seemed like a logical choice after finishing Hotel management highschool. However, I chose that highschool not because I wanted to, but because I had to choose something. At first I chose a different school but when I saw the books being used a feeling came over me that that choice is wrong and I transfered to Hotel management school and I haven't regret it. I spent most of my childhood years playing video games and never had to think about anything, but I have never had a sense of direction and belonging, so when I finished highschool I went to this college so I wouldn't have to start working, and in order to move from my parent's house. (we respect each other, but they don't know anything about me or my interests... Even I am not sure about those things!)
The only thing that I did because I wanted to was finishing two years of music school in 2012 and 2013, but then I realised I had enough of it and didn't want to do it professionaly even though I had straight As.

So I am here in this big city, struggling to find direction and meaning in life which I have never had, I am forcing myself to study which is very hard for me (even practicing for music school was) because I am rather lazy and have passed classes successfuly my whole life simply by listening and paying attention in class. The university is not very hard and you can get by with minimal effort, which is the reason I didn't drop out so far. But sometimes I feel as if I am wasting my parents' money. I don't want to dissapoint them either.

I live alone with a roommate and have a lot of time to think and I realized that I can't remember the last time I was happy. I feel like I'm going through life on some sort of autopilot and even if I wanted to do something that would make me happy I don't know what that is! I've been having suicidal thoughts for the last few months because I am simply tired of everything. There is a lot of emotional trauma (regarding love and friendship and belonging) that I can't get rid of and it eats me out every day and it is blocking me from feeling anything, let alone choosing what I want to do in my life.

I am modest but never lacked anything in my life as far as material things are concerned; why can't I just enjoy it? The guilt is tearing me apart, especially when I see how tough other people's lives are. (not just people from my surroundings but all the planet) I would give everything to feel happy, I forgot how it was. Or did I ever know?


So this is my first question: does my chart indicate some career or goal that will fulfil me?

2: I have become a bit of a hypochondriac in the past few years, and I am scared that my brain is sick from depression, even though there is none in my family. Does my chart say something about that?

3: And last but not least, does it say something about my voice and throat and problems with it? I used to love to sing, but my voice cracks from singing and even prolonged talking and I get an inflammation.

Here is my chart (sorry if I uploaded it incorrectly)


Thanks to everyone who reads this and who cares!
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  #2  
Unread 05-17-2015, 04:08 PM
Slenkar Slenkar is offline
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

All you gotta do is switch to computer science, you should like it, and there are loadsa jobs, and it's enjoyable.
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  #3  
Unread 05-17-2015, 05:28 PM
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Osamenor Osamenor is offline
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slenkar View Post
All you gotta do is switch to computer science, you should like it, and there are loadsa jobs, and it's enjoyable.
What do you see in his chart that makes you say he would like computer science?

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
So I am here in this big city, struggling to find direction and meaning in life which I have never had, I am forcing myself to study which is very hard for me (even practicing for music school was) because I am rather lazy and have passed classes successfuly my whole life simply by listening and paying attention in class.
You call yourself lazy, but what's really going on here is that school doesn't give you a point of connection. There's nothing in it that motivates you or challenges you in the right way. That's the fault of the system, not you. To not be lazy, as you put it, you would have to feel that whatever you're doing is meaningful and worth doing. School doesn't provide that motivation for everyone. Could be the subject, or, if you find the subject interesting in itself but still can't get into it in school, then the problem is the way it's being taught.

Your chart shows a strong need to do something personally meaningful to you, although it doesn't show what that something is. That part is up to you, and it could be more than one something; you might have a different focus at different times in your life.

Sun in Virgo indicates a need to grow your personality by developing a skill. Its fifth house placement says this needs to be something you greatly enjoy doing (fifth house=enjoyment), and conjunct the sixth house cusp suggests that you need your day to day job to be that same thing (sixth house=working environment, job). Venus conjunct your sun from the sixth house side of the cusp adds a creative/artistic message and gives a further implication that you need this to be your day to day pursuit.

Your sun and Venus trine Uranus and Neptune and your midheaven. That puts their energy towards your career, or more accurately, towards something you can become publicly known for. Planets in trine put all their energies towards common goals, and the tenth house is the house of public reputation, which, in the modern world, typically implies your career.

You have the greatest potential to become known for doing something different and outside the box (Uranus), and Neptune adds a wonderful creative and intuitive and mystical element to that... if, that is, you make a strong response to those energies and manifest them in a positive way. If you don't, those same placements could make you highly self destructive.

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Originally Posted by brilo View Post
I live alone with a roommate and have a lot of time to think and I realized that I can't remember the last time I was happy. I feel like I'm going through life on some sort of autopilot and even if I wanted to do something that would make me happy I don't know what that is! I've been having suicidal thoughts for the last few months because I am simply tired of everything. There is a lot of emotional trauma (regarding love and friendship and belonging) that I can't get rid of and it eats me out every day and it is blocking me from feeling anything, let alone choosing what I want to do in my life.

I am modest but never lacked anything in my life as far as material things are concerned; why can't I just enjoy it? The guilt is tearing me apart, especially when I see how tough other people's lives are. (not just people from my surroundings but all the planet) I would give everything to feel happy, I forgot how it was. Or did I ever know?
Those are symptoms of depression. That's an illness, and it needs to be treated. If it's not, it only goes on and on and gets worse.

I don't know what the options for treatment are where you live, but therapy is usually the best place to start. If you have any opportunity to get hypnotherapy, EMDR, body work, and/or acupuncture, those are also very helpful... in my experience, more helpful than just plain talk therapy or medication.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
2: I have become a bit of a hypochondriac in the past few years, and I am scared that my brain is sick from depression, even though there is none in my family. Does my chart say something about that?
How do you know there is none in your family? Families often keep that sort of thing a secret. Case in point: who in your family knows about your depression?

Your chart doesn't spell out depression, but it wouldn't, because that's situational, and your birth chart just shows a general picture of the energies for your life as a whole. It does show a strong possibility of health issues, which could be mental or physical or both (strong emphasis on sixth and twelfth houses, north and south nodes in those houses as well plus Chiron in the sixth), but doesn't spell those issues out clearly.

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Originally Posted by brilo View Post
3: And last but not least, does it say something about my voice and throat and problems with it? I used to love to sing, but my voice cracks from singing and even prolonged talking and I get an inflammation.
Again, that might be indicated by your sixth and twelfth house placements, health issues in general. Taurus rising gives you an orientation towards music and possibly singing--Taurus rules the throat and is the archetypal musician--and Mercury in Libra suggests a drive to speak, or communicate, in an artistic way, which could, again, be singing. Sixth house might involve some health issues around that, but I'm not quite versed in the finer points of astrology, so maybe someone more experienced could give more detail there.

I notice that your Mercury is in an intercepted sign--no house cusps in your Libra--and what's in an intercepted sign may be hidden and hard to access. In practical terms, your voice problems sound like a real physical health problem, but possibly one that's difficult to diagnose. Have you seen any doctors about it? What do they say?

I also see karmic indicators that might be involved in your depression and health issues, but that would be a subject for a whole other set of posts, if you're interested.
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  #4  
Unread 05-17-2015, 07:50 PM
Slenkar Slenkar is offline
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

uranus in tenth
virgo sun -detail oriented
2nd house gemini, gains through mental thingies
mercury in libra in 6th - intellectual air mercury in house of work
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  #5  
Unread 05-17-2015, 08:47 PM
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Oddity Oddity is offline
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Moon-Saturn conjunctions can indicate depression - especially given that the moon is your light of time and Saturn is your out-of-sect malefic (meaning misery will cause you more trouble than strife - depression fits the bill). Worse because it's opposing your sun and Venus.

There's no shame in that, it's just how things happen sometimes, and if you need help, by all means get it. Don't just suffer when there's some assistance available.

Career should probably be in the arts. I know you have a problem now singing but can you still write or play music? Or even stories. Painting is another possibility. All that pain wants expressing somehow and art looks like the way.

There will be some good stuff with relationships later on in your life. Fortuna sits on your seventh house cusp, ruled by Mars, and Mars is co-present in its sign of rulership. So things will get considerably better in that department.
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  #6  
Unread 05-18-2015, 10:33 PM
brilo brilo is offline
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
You call yourself lazy, but what's really going on here is that school doesn't give you a point of connection. There's nothing in it that motivates you or challenges you in the right way. That's the fault of the system, not you. To not be lazy, as you put it, you would have to feel that whatever you're doing is meaningful and worth doing. School doesn't provide that motivation for everyone. Could be the subject, or, if you find the subject interesting in itself but still can't get into it in school, then the problem is the way it's being taught.
That is an interesting point of view. You are correct about the "meaningful" part, it must have some higher meaning if I am going to do it!
You've got a point about the educational system but, honestly, what can I do about it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
Your chart shows a strong need to do something personally meaningful to you, although it doesn't show what that something is. That part is up to you, and it could be more than one something; you might have a different focus at different times in your life.

Sun in Virgo indicates a need to grow your personality by developing a skill. Its fifth house placement says this needs to be something you greatly enjoy doing (fifth house=enjoyment), and conjunct the sixth house cusp suggests that you need your day to day job to be that same thing (sixth house=working environment, job). Venus conjunct your sun from the sixth house side of the cusp adds a creative/artistic message and gives a further implication that you need this to be your day to day pursuit.
Wow! Your description of how I feel about career and work is completely accurate. I hoped that my chart would give a clear indication of what my career choice should be for I have given it much thought and failed to come up with a satisfying answer; I guess I will just have to find that out myself. Feel free to post some suggestions in accordance with my chart.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
Your sun and Venus trine Uranus and Neptune and your midheaven. That puts their energy towards your career, or more accurately, towards something you can become publicly known for. Planets in trine put all their energies towards common goals, and the tenth house is the house of public reputation, which, in the modern world, typically implies your career.

You have the greatest potential to become known for doing something different and outside the box (Uranus), and Neptune adds a wonderful creative and intuitive and mystical element to that... if, that is, you make a strong response to those energies and manifest them in a positive way. If you don't, those same placements could make you highly self destructive.
This is interesting. I have self destructive tendencies when I try to draw attention and feel misunderstood; for example when I am feeling unhappy due to lack of direction and meaning in life, I find it hard to simply ask someone for help because I doubt that they will understand.
I am very insecure and self-critical about anything regarding creativity and expression. Why is that?
How can I make a response to those energies you mentioned? Can you give me some advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
Those are symptoms of depression. That's an illness, and it needs to be treated. If it's not, it only goes on and on and gets worse.

I don't know what the options for treatment are where you live, but therapy is usually the best place to start. If you have any opportunity to get hypnotherapy, EMDR, body work, and/or acupuncture, those are also very helpful... in my experience, more helpful than just plain talk therapy or medication.
I am very much against the use of medication in that kind of problems. I have seen a life coach who is also in spirituality and energy work and she told me, simply by looking at me for a few minutes, that I must deal with my inner relationship with my mother and father, and deal with and find a sense of belonging within me. (the latter has been bothering me for as long as I can remember; trying to find my "tribe", a shelter in other people but always ending up disappointed or hurting myself)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
How do you know there is none in your family? Families often keep that sort of thing a secret. Case in point: who in your family knows about your depression?
Believe me, I think I would know. No one from my family knows about me being lost and thoughts and sorrows I deal with. It is normal to me though, because that is the kind of relationship we have had all my life and suddenly opening up myself to my family would feel unnatural to me, and I suppose to them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
Your chart doesn't spell out depression, but it wouldn't, because that's situational, and your birth chart just shows a general picture of the energies for your life as a whole. It does show a strong possibility of health issues, which could be mental or physical or both (strong emphasis on sixth and twelfth houses, north and south nodes in those houses as well plus Chiron in the sixth), but doesn't spell those issues out clearly.
Well, I have tinnitus. I've never heard the sound of silence because I have had it for as long as I can remember, even as a child. And I have slightly higher body temperature than normal, if that means anything. My stomach has become very sensitive in the past few years, though. And in the past few months my sense of smell has become somewhat weaker. (have to do an allergy test or something!)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
I notice that your Mercury is in an intercepted sign--no house cusps in your Libra--and what's in an intercepted sign may be hidden and hard to access. In practical terms, your voice problems sound like a real physical health problem, but possibly one that's difficult to diagnose. Have you seen any doctors about it? What do they say?
My doctor said I have a slight septal deviation but found no problems with my voice or throat. (no polyps etc.) I was dissapointed when I heard this because I still don't know why my throat gets sore so quickly, and I really used to love to sing! Maybe I should take singing/talking lessons because there is something wrong with the way I breathe? I don't know.

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Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
I also see karmic indicators that might be involved in your depression and health issues, but that would be a subject for a whole other set of posts, if you're interested.
I am interested. Maybe I could send you a PM.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
Moon-Saturn conjunctions can indicate depression - especially given that the moon is your light of time and Saturn is your out-of-sect malefic (meaning misery will cause you more trouble than strife - depression fits the bill). Worse because it's opposing your sun and Venus.

There's no shame in that, it's just how things happen sometimes, and if you need help, by all means get it. Don't just suffer when there's some assistance available.
I am going to keep seeing my life coach. Could there some progressions in my chart that will alleviate or positively affect these placements?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
Career should probably be in the arts. I know you have a problem now singing but can you still write or play music? Or even stories. Painting is another possibility. All that pain wants expressing somehow and art looks like the way.
Unfortunately, painting is no option. I can't draw for shi* and had problems at school due to my bad handwriting.
Oddly enough, I never enjoyed making my own music, I have always thought it was not good enough and thought of it as too much of a hassle. I have always loved listening to music and playing other artists' songs for other people.
I agree with you that some way of expressing is needed, just don't know which one is right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddity View Post
There will be some good stuff with relationships later on in your life. Fortuna sits on your seventh house cusp, ruled by Mars, and Mars is co-present in its sign of rulership. So things will get considerably better in that department.
I thought my Fortune was in the 6th house?
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  #7  
Unread 05-20-2015, 03:54 AM
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Osamenor Osamenor is offline
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
That is an interesting point of view. You are correct about the "meaningful" part, it must have some higher meaning if I am going to do it!
You've got a point about the educational system but, honestly, what can I do about it?
There's no simple answer to that question, but the first step is to challenge the notion that if you're not putting much effort into school, you're just lazy. The fact is that school just isn't a place where you can put much effort, unless you find a way to make it personally meaningful for you. Perhaps the first question to start with is, what do you need to be doing day to day? What would give your life meaning, whether you were in school or not?

If you need to pursue a degree, can you do it in a way that would allow for that meaningful day to day existence? Perhaps through some alternative teaching methods, or a work/study situation that would allow you meaningful work?

Or do you need to pursue a degree at all? Perhaps what you really want to do would be better served by just going out and doing it, and educating yourself along the way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
Wow! Your description of how I feel about career and work is completely accurate. I hoped that my chart would give a clear indication of what my career choice should be for I have given it much thought and failed to come up with a satisfying answer; I guess I will just have to find that out myself. Feel free to post some suggestions in accordance with my chart.
I agree with Oddity that it probably needs to be in the arts. You have so many indicators for that: Venus conjunct sun in the sixth house, and in Virgo, which indicates a need to develop through work; Mercury (self expression) in artistic Libra in the same house; also Mars, which indicates passion, in the sixth house; and your Neptune/Uranus conjunction at the midheaven suggests that you can become known for doing something highly creative and different... or else highly destructive and different.

Neptune and Uranus are very powerful planets and operate mostly on a subconscious level. Neptune is all about tuning into the higher planes, and Uranus is all about doing things differently, breaking barriers, going in new directions. That combination, along with Capricorn's discipline and drive, is great for creative accomplishments, but if that's not what you're doing with those energies, they're still there, and could easily turn you in the direction of self destruction. You could just as easily become known as the town drunk or crazy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
This is interesting. I have self destructive tendencies when I try to draw attention and feel misunderstood; for example when I am feeling unhappy due to lack of direction and meaning in life, I find it hard to simply ask someone for help because I doubt that they will understand.
That fits very well with your tenth house placements, and perhaps with your moon/Saturn conjunction as well. Tenth house can signify desire for attention--in particular, for being highly visible--and Capricorn is all about boundaries. At its best, it helps us keep appropriate boundaries. At its worst, it gets too constrictive and can make us feel cut off from others and misunderstood. Moon, signifying deep emotions, often has that effect, too, when it's in Capricorn.

Your moon isn't in Capricorn, but it is conjunct Saturn, which rules Capricorn and carries much of the same meanings. And you have your moon and Saturn in sensitive Pisces. Saturn in any water sign tends to have a strong effect on the emotions, to make you feel cut off from others. Conjunct the moon, whose sensitivity is amplified by Pisces, it probably makes you feel that even more strongly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
I am very insecure and self-critical about anything regarding creativity and expression. Why is that?
That's probably the Virgo in you talking. Virgo's main goal is self perfection. A thoroughly healthy, well functioning Virgo understands that perfection is an ultimate goal to keep working towards, not something achievable in any given moment, and keeps that in perspective. But it's all too easy for that desire for perfection to manifest as self criticism and insecurity, as a demand on yourself to be perfect right here and right now... which will always disappoint you because it's an impossible demand to meet.

Since you have Venus and the sun in Virgo, conjunct, your self criticism plays out through those planets. Venus is your creativity, and sun is your ego.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
How can I make a response to those energies you mentioned? Can you give me some advice?
We can dialog some more, but it sounds like you've made a good start with what you're doing....

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
I am very much against the use of medication in that kind of problems. I have seen a life coach who is also in spirituality and energy work and she told me, simply by looking at me for a few minutes, that I must deal with my inner relationship with my mother and father, and deal with and find a sense of belonging within me. (the latter has been bothering me for as long as I can remember; trying to find my "tribe", a shelter in other people but always ending up disappointed or hurting myself)
Do you see this life coach regularly, or was it just a session or two? Has she done any energy work with you? Actual energetic healing work can be very effective with depression. I've had it work wonders for me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
Believe me, I think I would know. No one from my family knows about me being lost and thoughts and sorrows I deal with.
No one in your family knows about your sorrows, and yet you think you would know if anyone in your family were depressed? How logical is that?

Lots and lots of families hide those things, even families that aren't very big on secrets otherwise. My family fits that description... and yet I was about your age when I found out that my grandmother had spent time in a mental hospital and my mom had been treated for depression when I was little. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I went through major depression and anxiety... and when my brother, who is 7 years younger than me, was in his early twenties, he started having panic attacks, and when his doctor asked him about family history, he initially said he didn't know of any. He didn't know what I was going through at the time because he was so much younger and I didn't even talk to my parents about it much, let alone him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
It is normal to me though, because that is the kind of relationship we have had all my life and suddenly opening up myself to my family would feel unnatural to me, and I suppose to them.
If suddenly opening yourself to your family would feel strange to you, what might they be keeping closed off from you... and each other?

I have to go now, but will come back in the next day or two and continue the conversation. Take care.
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  #8  
Unread 05-25-2015, 10:17 PM
brilo brilo is offline
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
There's no simple answer to that question, but the first step is to challenge the notion that if you're not putting much effort into school, you're just lazy. The fact is that school just isn't a place where you can put much effort, unless you find a way to make it personally meaningful for you. Perhaps the first question to start with is, what do you need to be doing day to day? What would give your life meaning, whether you were in school or not?
You are right about me being lazy. I realize I spend a massive amount of time procrastinating. One of the reasons behind this is that I don't know what I should be doing. I don't know what the thing I should be doing day to day is.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
I agree with Oddity that it probably needs to be in the arts. You have so many indicators for that: Venus conjunct sun in the sixth house, and in Virgo, which indicates a need to develop through work; Mercury (self expression) in artistic Libra in the same house; also Mars, which indicates passion, in the sixth house; and your Neptune/Uranus conjunction at the midheaven suggests that you can become known for doing something highly creative and different... or else highly destructive and different.

Neptune and Uranus are very powerful planets and operate mostly on a subconscious level. Neptune is all about tuning into the higher planes, and Uranus is all about doing things differently, breaking barriers, going in new directions. That combination, along with Capricorn's discipline and drive, is great for creative accomplishments, but if that's not what you're doing with those energies, they're still there, and could easily turn you in the direction of self destruction. You could just as easily become known as the town drunk or crazy.
I have always felt like something is stopping me from expressing myself creatively. You have a point in what you said about self-destruction part particularly. Like I have no way of expressing myself ever since I gave up on music.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
That's probably the Virgo in you talking. Virgo's main goal is self perfection. A thoroughly healthy, well functioning Virgo understands that perfection is an ultimate goal to keep working towards, not something achievable in any given moment, and keeps that in perspective. But it's all too easy for that desire for perfection to manifest as self criticism and insecurity, as a demand on yourself to be perfect right here and right now... which will always disappoint you because it's an impossible demand to meet.

Since you have Venus and the sun in Virgo, conjunct, your self criticism plays out through those planets. Venus is your creativity, and sun is your ego.
Haha, gues I am not a thorougly healthy, well functioning virgo!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
Do you see this life coach regularly, or was it just a session or two? Has she done any energy work with you? Actual energetic healing work can be very effective with depression. I've had it work wonders for me.
It has just been one session, but I've done some energy work with her before. She told me that it will not help me until I resolve my inner conflicts.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
No one in your family knows about your sorrows, and yet you think you would know if anyone in your family were depressed? How logical is that?

Lots and lots of families hide those things, even families that aren't very big on secrets otherwise. My family fits that description... and yet I was about your age when I found out that my grandmother had spent time in a mental hospital and my mom had been treated for depression when I was little. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I went through major depression and anxiety... and when my brother, who is 7 years younger than me, was in his early twenties, he started having panic attacks, and when his doctor asked him about family history, he initially said he didn't know of any. He didn't know what I was going through at the time because he was so much younger and I didn't even talk to my parents about it much, let alone him.


If suddenly opening yourself to your family would feel strange to you, what might they be keeping closed off from you... and each other
I am sorry to hear that you had to go through all that, hope you have successfully recovered!
Nevertheless, I know that no one from my family has ever spent time in a mental hospital. We don't talk too much, but I am sure that sort of thing would have come out by now.

Thank you for your replies, guys!
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  #9  
Unread 05-26-2015, 01:24 AM
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Osamenor Osamenor is offline
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

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Originally Posted by brilo View Post
You are right about me being lazy. I realize I spend a massive amount of time procrastinating. One of the reasons behind this is that I don't know what I should be doing. I don't know what the thing I should be doing day to day is.
I didn't call you lazy. You called yourself that. To me, it sounds much more like a symptom of depression, along with trouble with the system.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
Haha, gues I am not a thorougly healthy, well functioning virgo!
Being a thoroughly healthy and well functioning any sign is more the exception than the rule, especially when you have lots of self work to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brilo View Post
It has just been one session, but I've done some energy work with her before. She told me that it will not help me until I resolve my inner conflicts.
Has she offered to help you resolve your inner conflicts, or is she insisting that you resolve them yourself before she can help you at all?

I don't know what kind of energy work she does, but I'm puzzled as to why she thinks it won't help you. I'm a certified reiki practitioner, and I would never say that reiki... the type of energy work I know... won't help. I would never say it's a magic bullet either (although once in a while, it is), but I would be willing to give it to you confused as you are. I wouldn't expect it to sort out your inner conflicts for you overnight, but I would expect it to give you some relief and some help in beginning to sort things out.

There are lots of different kinds of energy work and healing work that can be done. I had stunning success with Taoist medicine treating my depression and anxiety, and also with hypnotherapy. Neither of the practitioners involved told me I had to sort things out first, although one of them did refer me to the other when he felt he'd reached a limit in what he could do.

I've heard that Taoist medicine has some unique perspectives on breathing and speech problems, too. If you can find anyone who practices it, it's definitely worth checking out.
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I have always felt like something is stopping me from expressing myself creatively. You have a point in what you said about self-destruction part particularly. Like I have no way of expressing myself ever since I gave up on music.
According to your chart, self expression is absolutely crucial for you. Without it, you'll wither away. According to your own descriptions of yourself, music is that crucial self expression. If that's so, it's vital that you bring it back into your life. The question, then, is how.

If you have trouble singing and you prefer playing other artists' music to your own, why not learn sign language and interpret songs for the deaf? That has its own niche, and could also translate to a bread-and-butter job--sign language interpreters are needed everywhere.

A cool video of a sign language interpreter getting carried away with a song: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...mpetition.html
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Unread 05-26-2015, 04:51 PM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

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Has she offered to help you resolve your inner conflicts, or is she insisting that you resolve them yourself before she can help you at all?

I don't know what kind of energy work she does, but I'm puzzled as to why she thinks it won't help you. I'm a certified reiki practitioner, and I would never say that reiki... the type of energy work I know... won't help. I would never say it's a magic bullet either (although once in a while, it is), but I would be willing to give it to you confused as you are. I wouldn't expect it to sort out your inner conflicts for you overnight, but I would expect it to give you some relief and some help in beginning to sort things out.

There are lots of different kinds of energy work and healing work that can be done. I had stunning success with Taoist medicine treating my depression and anxiety, and also with hypnotherapy. Neither of the practitioners involved told me I had to sort things out first, although one of them did refer me to the other when he felt he'd reached a limit in what he could do.
I apologize, for my last post was misleading. We did Reconnection and Reconnective healing. (for more information google: Eric Pearl)
She told me, and it was written in the book as well, that you should let go of expectations and just go with it. I was so tired of everything that I expected my problems to disappear over night. When they didn't, I was hopeless so after a few months I called her again and we met and she asked me why I had lied to her that I was OK and happy. We talked for an hour and she told me that the root of my problem goes much deeper and would not be solved in "a few days" like I thought it would. That me running away from them, escaping to drugs, sex, alcohol etc., would only make it worse. She had me write everything that I wanted to tell her in verbal speech, on a peace of paper. I have a very good memory of events in my life, especially the bad ones, so I have been writing ever since. When I finish, I will give her a call and we will meet up.

Thank you for your concern. It is beautiful that you are helping people with your work. I sense a tingling in my hands when I put them close together, and my life coach said she would teach me some energy healing work someday!

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According to your chart, self expression is absolutely crucial for you. Without it, you'll wither away. According to your own descriptions of yourself, music is that crucial self expression. If that's so, it's vital that you bring it back into your life. The question, then, is how.
You have me worried now.
Man... I miss singing. I was thinking of visiting a vocal coach in order to fix the problem or get some sort of a diagnose at least.

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If you have trouble singing and you prefer playing other artists' music to your own, why not learn sign language and interpret songs for the deaf? That has its own niche, and could also translate to a bread-and-butter job--sign language interpreters are needed everywhere.
Interesting. But I never imagined myself doing something like that. Although it would be cool to learn sign language. After all, I always kicked *** in foreign language subjects back in school and went to a state competition in english.
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Unread 05-28-2015, 12:44 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

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I apologize, for my last post was misleading. We did Reconnection and Reconnective healing. (for more information google: Eric Pearl)
She told me, and it was written in the book as well, that you should let go of expectations and just go with it. I was so tired of everything that I expected my problems to disappear over night. When they didn't, I was hopeless so after a few months I called her again and we met and she asked me why I had lied to her that I was OK and happy. We talked for an hour and she told me that the root of my problem goes much deeper and would not be solved in "a few days" like I thought it would. That me running away from them, escaping to drugs, sex, alcohol etc., would only make it worse. She had me write everything that I wanted to tell her in verbal speech, on a peace of paper. I have a very good memory of events in my life, especially the bad ones, so I have been writing ever since. When I finish, I will give her a call and we will meet up.
Glad to hear that she is working with you on that. It sounds like you're on the right track.

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I sense a tingling in my hands when I put them close together, and my life coach said she would teach me some energy healing work someday!
You can feel your chi! Beautiful.

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You have me worried now.
I hope not too worried. What your chart shows is just what you yourself would discover over time. You're not about to drop dead from lack of music in your life or anything like that, but if you continue on without the kind of self expression you need, you'll probably get a lot more depressed. It's good that you're working with your life coach on your deeper issues, because the deeper stuff is likely involved in this, too.
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Man... I miss singing. I was thinking of visiting a vocal coach in order to fix the problem or get some sort of a diagnose at least.
Sounds like a great idea.

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Interesting. But I never imagined myself doing something like that. Although it would be cool to learn sign language. After all, I always kicked *** in foreign language subjects back in school and went to a state competition in english.
You write English better than many native speakers. If it's not your native language, you've really got a gift for languages!

Based on your chart, I think self expression might be a karmic issue for you. If you believe in past lives, you could say it spans multiple lifetimes, and if you don't, it works just as well to see it as a pattern you've inherited from your ancestors and the society around you. I don't have time to go into it now, but more later....
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Unread 06-07-2015, 09:26 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

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You write English better than many native speakers. If it's not your native language, you've really got a gift for languages!
Thank you!

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Based on your chart, I think self expression might be a karmic issue for you. If you believe in past lives, you could say it spans multiple lifetimes, and if you don't, it works just as well to see it as a pattern you've inherited from your ancestors and the society around you. I don't have time to go into it now, but more later....
Could you please explain this in little more detail? This is my first encounter with karmic astrology and it seems very interesting.


Also, I saw your recent thread about searching a new career. I wish you luck and hope it goes well!
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Unread 06-07-2015, 10:34 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Please, could you show us where is your Lilith?
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Unread 06-07-2015, 11:02 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

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Please, could you show us where is your Lilith?
It says my Lilith (True Lilith, according to Astrotheme) is in Cancer, in the III House. It is also retrograge.
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Unread 06-07-2015, 11:50 PM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Karmic story:

For the birth chart's karmic indicators, we look at the south and north nodes, their sign and house placements, aspects they make, and their rulers. Your south node doesn't show on this version of the birth chart, but it's always opposite the north node, so we know it's at 27 degrees Aries in the twelfth house. The south node represents who you were in the karmic past (for simplicity's sake, I'll tell it as a past life story). Sign and house placement tell us what was going on for you in that life, that is, what happened and what you lived that left some unfinished karma for this life.

Aries suggests a struggle, being challenged. It could mean anything from literally fighting in a war to having a contentious family life to having a belligerent and/or overly competitive personality to struggling with illness. (Those aren't all its indicators, but south node in Aries typically indicates a struggle that you weren't able to leave behind in that life.) Twelfth house, in the south node context, typically indicates being removed from the world, isolated. Illness, insanity, addiction, exile, imprisonment, social isolation, removing yourself to a monastery or convent... those are some south node in the twelfth house implications.

Between your current life story (current life stories almost always echo the karmic story up to a point) and the overlap of struggle (Aries) with the twelfth house, it looks to me like the most likely interpretation is a lengthy struggle with either mental or physical illness, in which you became deeply isolated. Maybe you were hospitalized. Maybe you were locked up in a mental ward. Maybe you were living in the world but socially and emotionally isolated. If this was a mental illness, you could have been removed from the world by your own mind.

Your south node is intercepted, which suggests being hidden, invisible, unacknowledged, unseen by others. The twelfth house is also a hidden house, and placements in it often represent things that are unnoticed and unacknowledged by others. That even more strongly suggests a mental illness, or perhaps an undiagnosed and misunderstood physical illness, or perhaps both.

Aspects to the south node indicate what helped keep you in that situation, or what hindered you. You have a square from Uranus and Neptune at the midheaven. Squares represent hindrances that were not outside your power to overcome, but that, for whatever reason, you did not overcome. Oppositions to the south node, which you also have--Mars in opposition--represent obstacles that were truly insurmountable. They can also represent what you wanted but was truly unobtainable.

A square from the midheaven suggests an authority figure, or laws or rules of society, that antagonized you. Capricorn adds an implication of authority. The particular planets you have involved, Neptune and Uranus, suggest societal beliefs or collectively held delusions, or religious authority, or an idealistic social change movement going on. Maybe you were at odds with a father who was a prominent clergyman--that's one way to interpret it. Or maybe he was a controlling alcoholic. Maybe you lived in a society that was being swept by some sort of revolution. Whatever it was, you ran afoul of it.

Edit: After I posted this, it occurred to me that the authority represented here could be medical. Maybe you were a patient of a doctor who kept trying far fetched cures on you (Uranus suggests out of the box thinking; Neptune could mean medicine, or quackery). Maybe you fell prey to quack psychology, nutty psychiatrists, or exorcists. Maybe you were experimented on by Freud or Mesmer or someone of their ilk.

Mercury almost opposes your south node, but not quite, the orb is too wide for a true opposition. With the hidden and isolated implications of your south node placement, it looks like you probably longed to communicate with others, to express yourself. That it isn't quite within orb of opposition tells us that this was only a minor detail. You probably longed for better self expression from time to time, but not to the point that you fixated on it or despaired over it.

Mars is in tight opposition to your south node, and that's an even heavier detail. Against the square, you had some possible escape routes. Against an opposition, you did not. And in this case, your south node is opposed by its own ruler. The ruler of the south node also represents you--so you were your own insurmountable obstacle.

In the sixth house, we still have an implication of health problems, only now, it's health problems with a more tangible form. Mars in Scorpio carries an implication of edginess, the darkest part of the psyche, danger, and violence. Mars in opposition to the south node, no matter which signs are involved, is often read as an indicator that you were a victim of violence.

Scorpio is also a much more decisive sign than Libra, and your Mars sits right on its cusp. That could represent a quick move from indecision to decisiveness, and from the hidden quality represented by an intercepted sign to the visibility of a sign not intercepted. Looks like you took a decisive action that people couldn't help but notice, after a long period of indecision and no one seeing what was going on with you. In opposition to your south node, this was an act against yourself.

Suicide is the most likely interpretation.

If you did in fact commit suicide in your previous life, that this shows up in your karmic chart indicates that you came back this time in order to change the story. To face some of the same issues but learn how to cope with them in healthier ways. Your birth chart also tells you how you can do that. Again, the planets aspecting your nodes are key players, but where we read them for their negative aspects in the past life story, we now start looking at their positive ones. The placement of your north node and its ruler (Venus) are also key. I'll come back and post some more on that later.

Last edited by Osamenor; 06-08-2015 at 05:11 AM.
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Unread 06-08-2015, 06:55 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

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It says my Lilith (True Lilith, according to Astrotheme) is in Cancer, in the III House. It is also retrograge.
You gave not the degree of your Lilith, but even when it is so, I don't think that you have suicidal tendicies.
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Unread 06-08-2015, 08:15 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

The reason for depression in your chart,
Saturn conjuction moon in 12, feelings you never good enough and don't deserve to be loved, to critical witn your self.
Moon opposition sun 5h of joy,you do not feel comfortable feeling happy, feelings and motivation fighting and inside tension. are you keeping something in secret from others?
Mars in 6, good be some schizophrenia indication, but you could find relief in working hard with your hands,body ability for working hard physicaly.mars in scorpion very great amount of physical energy also. It looks like there a danger that someone gets institutionalized but I am not sure is you,maybe a parent in elderly home.
You are a weird persona and by that I want to say, its like you have a strange hobbys or just like severe daydreaming, sure some vivid imagination is your strongest asset. I believe you will end up with great carrier doing what you love,something very unusual which now you like as a hobby and its artistic and has to do with sharp objects.
About the voice the ruler of the 3house moon conjuct saturn, you have very nice and delicate voice which could be injured, so carefully its probably comes from thyroid gland problems.
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Unread 06-08-2015, 06:58 PM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

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Karmic story:

For the birth chart's karmic indicators, we look at the south and north nodes, their sign and house placements, aspects they make, and their rulers. Your south node doesn't show on this version of the birth chart, but it's always opposite the north node, so we know it's at 27 degrees Aries in the twelfth house. The south node represents who you were in the karmic past (for simplicity's sake, I'll tell it as a past life story). Sign and house placement tell us what was going on for you in that life, that is, what happened and what you lived that left some unfinished karma for this life.
It seems fascinating. I will do some research when I have time.

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Aries suggests a struggle, being challenged. It could mean anything from literally fighting in a war to having a contentious family life to having a belligerent and/or overly competitive personality to struggling with illness. (Those aren't all its indicators, but south node in Aries typically indicates a struggle that you weren't able to leave behind in that life.) Twelfth house, in the south node context, typically indicates being removed from the world, isolated. Illness, insanity, addiction, exile, imprisonment, social isolation, removing yourself to a monastery or convent... those are some south node in the twelfth house implications.

Between your current life story (current life stories almost always echo the karmic story up to a point) and the overlap of struggle (Aries) with the twelfth house, it looks to me like the most likely interpretation is a lengthy struggle with either mental or physical illness, in which you became deeply isolated. Maybe you were hospitalized. Maybe you were locked up in a mental ward. Maybe you were living in the world but socially and emotionally isolated. If this was a mental illness, you could have been removed from the world by your own mind.

Your south node is intercepted, which suggests being hidden, invisible, unacknowledged, unseen by others. The twelfth house is also a hidden house, and placements in it often represent things that are unnoticed and unacknowledged by others. That even more strongly suggests a mental illness, or perhaps an undiagnosed and misunderstood physical illness, or perhaps both.

Aspects to the south node indicate what helped keep you in that situation, or what hindered you. You have a square from Uranus and Neptune at the midheaven. Squares represent hindrances that were not outside your power to overcome, but that, for whatever reason, you did not overcome. Oppositions to the south node, which you also have--Mars in opposition--represent obstacles that were truly insurmountable. They can also represent what you wanted but was truly unobtainable.

A square from the midheaven suggests an authority figure, or laws or rules of society, that antagonized you. Capricorn adds an implication of authority. The particular planets you have involved, Neptune and Uranus, suggest societal beliefs or collectively held delusions, or religious authority, or an idealistic social change movement going on. Maybe you were at odds with a father who was a prominent clergyman--that's one way to interpret it. Or maybe he was a controlling alcoholic. Maybe you lived in a society that was being swept by some sort of revolution. Whatever it was, you ran afoul of it.

Edit: After I posted this, it occurred to me that the authority represented here could be medical. Maybe you were a patient of a doctor who kept trying far fetched cures on you (Uranus suggests out of the box thinking; Neptune could mean medicine, or quackery). Maybe you fell prey to quack psychology, nutty psychiatrists, or exorcists. Maybe you were experimented on by Freud or Mesmer or someone of their ilk.
I must admit you caught me off guard. It was sort of a shock to me to read this.

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Mercury almost opposes your south node, but not quite, the orb is too wide for a true opposition. With the hidden and isolated implications of your south node placement, it looks like you probably longed to communicate with others, to express yourself. That it isn't quite within orb of opposition tells us that this was only a minor detail. You probably longed for better self expression from time to time, but not to the point that you fixated on it or despaired over it.
So I guess that means that I couldn't find a way of self expression in previous lifetime and I have to work on it in this one?

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Mars is in tight opposition to your south node, and that's an even heavier detail. Against the square, you had some possible escape routes. Against an opposition, you did not. And in this case, your south node is opposed by its own ruler. The ruler of the south node also represents you--so you were your own insurmountable obstacle.
You want to say that I was unable to live with myself?

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In the sixth house, we still have an implication of health problems, only now, it's health problems with a more tangible form. Mars in Scorpio carries an implication of edginess, the darkest part of the psyche, danger, and violence. Mars in opposition to the south node, no matter which signs are involved, is often read as an indicator that you were a victim of violence.

Scorpio is also a much more decisive sign than Libra, and your Mars sits right on its cusp. That could represent a quick move from indecision to decisiveness, and from the hidden quality represented by an intercepted sign to the visibility of a sign not intercepted. Looks like you took a decisive action that people couldn't help but notice, after a long period of indecision and no one seeing what was going on with you. In opposition to your south node, this was an act against yourself.

Suicide is the most likely interpretation.

If you did in fact commit suicide in your previous life, that this shows up in your karmic chart indicates that you came back this time in order to change the story. To face some of the same issues but learn how to cope with them in healthier ways. Your birth chart also tells you how you can do that. Again, the planets aspecting your nodes are key players, but where we read them for their negative aspects in the past life story, we now start looking at their positive ones. The placement of your north node and its ruler (Venus) are also key. I'll come back and post some more on that later.
This is a bit scary. But if that is the case, I am determined to do better in this lifetime. I am not sure I understand what my chart says about how to face issues and cope with them in healthier ways. Can you tell me an example so I apply it somehow?

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You gave not the degree of your Lilith, but even when it is so, I don't think that you have suicidal tendicies.
My Lilith is 1523'.

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The reason for depression in your chart,
Saturn conjuction moon in 12, feelings you never good enough and don't deserve to be loved, to critical witn your self.
Is there any way I can overcome this?
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Moon opposition sun 5h of joy,you do not feel comfortable feeling happy, feelings and motivation fighting and inside tension. are you keeping something in secret from others?
I feel that something is blocking me from fully experiencing emotions, and I think it has a lot to do with past feelings and unresolved pain. Are you saying that I will never be happy?
Well, most people perceive me as a happy individual who doesn't worry about anything and makes everyone laugh, but on the inside, when I am by myself, there is a completely opposite story. Just recently have I spoken to someone (a life coach) about my issues for the first time.

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Mars in 6, good be some schizophrenia indication, but you could find relief in working hard with your hands,body ability for working hard physicaly.mars in scorpion very great amount of physical energy also. It looks like there a danger that someone gets institutionalized but I am not sure is you,maybe a parent in elderly home.
Men in my family are genetically sturdy and well built, without a lot of exercise. I just hope it is not prison.

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You are a weird persona and by that I want to say, its like you have a strange hobbys or just like severe daydreaming, sure some vivid imagination is your strongest asset. I believe you will end up with great carrier doing what you love,something very unusual which now you like as a hobby and its artistic and has to do with sharp objects.
I don't really have any hobbys besides playing guitar and messing around on piano. When I was younger I used to play video games for hours but now I want to do something productive, just can't find what that something is. I like severe daydreaming but it is rather messy and unproductive and I have been longing to put that energy into something I like doing for a long time; but as I mentioned already, I don't know what could it be. Hm... Sharp objects? I consider myself clumsy, everyone had always been telling me that, so I am wondering what could it be that has to do with sharp objects...
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About the voice the ruler of the 3house moon conjuct saturn, you have very nice and delicate voice which could be injured, so carefully its probably comes from thyroid gland problems.
Why do you think it comes from thyroid gland? I have never experienced any problems with it, at least doctors never diagnosed any.
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Unread 06-08-2015, 07:43 PM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

On to part two of the karmic story: moving forward.

Your north node shows what you need to move toward in this lifetime. Anything conjunct the north node is also an important part of the picture, only now, we read it for its positive meanings. If it's the south node's ruler, there's some need to figuratively go back into the past in order to move forward.

In your case, it seems that revisiting the depression and health problems that were your downfall in the past is important, and, indeed, that's happening for you now. The issues you're dealing with now are not necessarily the same as before, but the underlying energy of it is. However, if you commit suicide in this life, you will have failed in your mission. The purpose is to create a different, better outcome. Mars conjunct your north node gives you a clue as to how you can do that.

Mars's attributes include passion, courage, the will to create, and basic survival instinct. Facing your problems takes courage--that's a Mars indicator. So is doing something creative or something you're passionate about... or something creative that you're passionate about. The Scorpio placement emphasizes the dark, edgy side of Mars, and also suggests going deep into your psyche. Naturally, there's something dark and edgy about depression.

In general, south node in the twelfth house indicates having been removed from the world, and north node in the sixth house indicates a need to come back into it. Since both those houses are linked with health issues, taking care of your health--physical, mental, emotional, everything--is especially important. The signs involved add some how and why to that picture. Where Aries indicates struggle, Libra indicates finding peace. Libra suggests healing and balance. It's also a strong indicator of creative, artistic endeavors, and since so much of the rest of your chart indicates a need for creative endeavors, that particular Libra indicator is especially important.

North node's ruler also tells you what can help you get there. For you, that's Venus, and we've already explored what Venus means in your chart: a need for meaningful, creative day-to-day work that you enjoy. So doing that work can help you come into the world, heal, and express yourself.

Self expression appears to have been one of your lesser issues previously (Mercury not quite in opposition to your south node), but what was a lesser issue in a past life can become a bigger issue in a current life, especially if it's part of the karmic patterns. And your Mercury shares a key indicator with your Venus: a need for self expression through artistic work.

Finally, the square also needs consideration. In the context of the north node, a square, which represents a hindrance in the past, becomes a skipped step: something you need to learn, integrate, or even become in order to successfully reach your north node. Capricorn at the midheaven in this context might mean a need to become your own authority. It could also speak to a need to make yourself visible to the world. Uranus and Neptune bring that out-of-the-box, intuitive, mystical thinking into your own psyche. Again, we have a reinforcement of that creative message.

You also have a trine between Uranus/Neptune and Venus. The same thing that forms a challenging aspect to your nodes also forms a helpful aspect to the north node ruler. When you make your Venus happy, you also make your Uranus and Neptune work for you, and vice versa. That's true for your life in general, and it also helps you move toward a better future.

It might also serve you to try some intuitive, out-of-the-box healing methods--as long as you retain your own self authority when you're dealing with practitioners. A good practitioner will involve you in your own healing and will respect your views and your inner process. A bad one will discount your inner experiences, act like they're a better authority on you than you are on yourself just because they know a thing or two about healing. This life coach you mentioned sounds like a good one: she made you look at your own issues, she's involving you in your own healing, she's not willing to do superficial work that won't really serve you.

It looks like the big picture, though, is that you need to take what's afflicting you and change it into creative expression. Lots and lots of creative people do that. How you do it is up to you.

Since the form of creative expression you've most resonated with is singing, but now you're having voice problems, perhaps you need to come up with a brand new way to make your voice heard. Can you sing with voice problems? Figuratively if not literally? What could you do right now that would fill the purpose of singing? Might take some thought and creativity.

I see you posted a response to the first part of this while I was making this post. I hope it answers your questions.

Last edited by Osamenor; 06-08-2015 at 07:48 PM.
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Unread 06-09-2015, 01:04 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

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Originally Posted by brilo View Post
You want to say that I was unable to live with myself?
Well, if this was a past life in which you committed suicide, you probably felt you couldn't live with yourself. But the truly insurmountable obstacle was your suicide. Once you'd done that, you couldn't resolve those issues in that life because you were no longer in that life. If you hadn't done it, you would have had a chance of resolving those issues before you died of old age or something else outside your control. In this life, you have an excellent chance of a better outcome as long as you don't commit suicide, and a guaranteed better outcome if you follow your birth chart's north node indicators.

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Originally Posted by brilo View Post
I feel that something is blocking me from fully experiencing emotions, and I think it has a lot to do with past feelings and unresolved pain. Are you saying that I will never be happy?
I don't know if Izzy is saying that, but birth charts never, ever say you can't be happy. Some placements might be linked with emotional issues, and overall, it's very common for astrologers--especially amateur astrologers making quick posts on discussion boards--to describe the problems a placement might indicate without describing the possible solutions. The fact is that wherever a birth chart shows a problem, it also shows a solution. Very much like the north and south nodes: south node shows the problem, north node shows the medicine.

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Originally Posted by brilo View Post
I don't really have any hobbys besides playing guitar and messing around on piano. When I was younger I used to play video games for hours but now I want to do something productive, just can't find what that something is. I like severe daydreaming but it is rather messy and unproductive and I have been longing to put that energy into something I like doing for a long time; but as I mentioned already, I don't know what could it be.
That perfectly describes the opposition tension between your Pisces moon and your Virgo sun. It also reflects one of the indicators of your tenth house Neptune/Uranus conjunction in Capricorn.

Intense daydreaming (presumably what you mean by severe) is a key characteristic of Pisces and of Neptune. Your moon's placement indicates what you most deeply desire. Sun and moon are both about what you need most in your life. In your case, they're in opposition, so you have a competing set of needs, both extremely important. Your moon needs to daydream (Pisces). Your sun needs to do something productive (Virgo).

However, the productive things your chart indicates you need to do most of all are creative things. Daydreaming is an essential part of the creative process. Without your intense daydreaming, your creativity would fall flat, and you'd have nothing meaningful to produce. It also works the other way around: if you don't produce anything, your daydreaming may be an enjoyable escape, but it won't serve you in the long run.

That doesn't mean you have to be producing something all the time. Creative work typically means periods of great activity alternating with periods of daydreaming in which ideas may germinate but they're not ready to take form yet, so nothing much seems to get done. That is also the nature of oppositions in a birth chart. When you have planets in opposition, both of their indicators are equally important, and you need to do things to fulfill both of them, but they're usually not things you can do at the same time. You can't go out to a wild party while spending a quiet evening at home, but you can experience both quiet evenings at home and wild parties if you do them on different evenings.

However, you have what's called an easy opposition. Your Neptune and Uranus (and your MC, too) form a trine with your sun and Venus and a sextile with your moon and Saturn. That means their energies can work together, through those easy aspects.

We've already explored the trine: to satisfy your sun's and Venus's imperatives is also to satisfy your Uranus/Neptune imperatives, and vice versa. And when Uranus and Neptune act, that excites the moon and Saturn into their own actions, and vice versa--that's what sextiles do. In practical terms, that means your competing impulses to daydream and to do something productive can work together to achieve a common end. Because the common ground they meet through is at your MC, that common end is likely to be your career, or at least what you become publicly known for.

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Men in my family are genetically sturdy and well built, without a lot of exercise. I just hope it is not prison.
Considering that in the modern world, most lives begin in a hospital and end in either a hospital or a nursing home, the odds that you or someone in your family will end life in some sort of institution are high. I don't know why she says there's a risk of being institutionalized, but logically, there is for everyone. Most people get hospitalized at least once in their lives. Most of us will die in a hospital, whether the cause of death is illness, injury, or old age.

Last edited by Osamenor; 06-09-2015 at 06:13 AM.
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Unread 06-09-2015, 06:05 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

I never said that you will not be happy, I said you do not feel comfortable feeling happy and many people also prefer being not happy for many different reasons. You can be whatever you want because natal chart shows your starting point and how should be your road but free will is yours to deside where you want to go.Dont look for excuses in astrology to feel miserable.you have some mild dipression and you need to treat it, thats the reason behind your feeling that you can not feel or do things.
About the thyroid glad now,cancer in the 3gusp normally that could mean hormonal but you complain about your throat and the hormonal indicator in the throat is thyroid glad.
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Unread 06-09-2015, 07:30 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

brilo, you have received quite a lot of help with your chart on this thread, and I am going to address 2 or 3 more things.

Firstly with Neptune so closely conjunct your Capricorn MC, finding a clear career pathway may be very difficult. Neptune clouds, confuses and hides any clear pathway for you, and you may end up feeling quite confused and even bored by the need to be `going somewhere' with your life. Career-wise you may tend to stumble a bit blindly from one thing to another, where if you just begin somewhere - anywhere - eventually you will be led to somewhere else, even though you cannot see this `somewhere else' until you get there. Just as a quick assessment of possibilities, you would be suited to something which helps others in some way (since your MC ruler is in Pisces in the 12th conjunct your Pisces Moon.)

To be introspective and quite serious about things is in your nature. You may tend to use escapist tendencies in order to `get out' of your life, while the Moon-Saturn conjunction in Pisces will have you longing for your life to be different, and for you to be free to express yourself creatively. The depression you experience is bound up in that Moon-Saturn conjunct, as well as the Sun's opposition to Saturn. I have experienced depression for most of my life (over 60 years) and it can be very unpleasant, but I also know that I have had a lifelong tendency to push into my body that which I don't want to think about, and over time this can lead to a level of depression ...... which can then be a way into what it is you have suppressed. Moon in Pisces people are massive escapists, and reality itself can be very difficult for you.

The real reason I have decided to reply to this post is because of your Chiron placement - in Libra in the 6th house. Chiron in the 6th house almost always describes someone with a level of unexplained health issues. Often these health issues will be low level - that is, not at the level of complete disability - and will frequently be difficult to explain, identify and/or diagnose. Your experience of tinnitus sounds to me like Chiron in the 6th house. This is probably something which your soul requires you to deal with in this lifetime. With your Moon's south node in Aries, you may have been quite a high achiever, or someone of note in your immediate past life. This time there are other things which require your attention.
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Unread 06-10-2015, 04:26 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Great post, R4VEN! You hit the points I don't know enough astrology to get... I'd hoped someone could fill in those gaps for our friend here.

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Originally Posted by R4VEN View Post

Firstly with Neptune so closely conjunct your Capricorn MC, finding a clear career pathway may be very difficult. Neptune clouds, confuses and hides any clear pathway for you, and you may end up feeling quite confused and even bored by the need to be `going somewhere' with your life. Career-wise you may tend to stumble a bit blindly from one thing to another, where if you just begin somewhere - anywhere - eventually you will be led to somewhere else, even though you cannot see this `somewhere else' until you get there. Just as a quick assessment of possibilities, you would be suited to something which helps others in some way (since your MC ruler is in Pisces in the 12th conjunct your Pisces Moon.) ....

With your Moon's south node in Aries, you may have been quite a high achiever, or someone of note in your immediate past life. This time there are other things which require your attention.
This makes me see something I missed in my south/north node analysis. When I got to the part about interpreting the Neptune/Uranus/midheaven square in the past life context, I was fumbling there. The ideas I came up with didn't seem to be quite right (although if they do to you, brilo, then maybe they are!).

But today, before I saw this post, I'd gone back and reread the book I have about karmic astrology, and one interpretation it gave for a square from Neptune to the south node is a situation in which the person's life was slowly leached away. Maybe by demanding responsibilities, maybe by addiction or illness, maybe by grinding drudgery... lots of things could do it. Capricorn in the south node context usually indicates heavy responsibilities, drudgery, or poverty. At the midheaven, we're not talking about obscure poverty or slave labor, but a kind of drudgery and responsibility that would bring power and visibility. In other words, a career.

So perhaps the difficult circumstance that "squared" you was being stuck in a soul killing career. Uranus squaring the south node (I got that, too from my reread) suggests a bolt from the blue, sudden loss, or a situation of extreme and unpredictable highs and lows. Maybe this soul killing career was something involving lots of rapid changes in fortune--stockbroker, for instance. Or maybe you suddenly lost your job, and felt that your world was falling apart even if you hadn't really liked it.

If that is your past life story, there seems to be some echo of it in this life. You ran for the hills from your first school because you had an intuitive sense that what they were teaching (or how they were teaching it) wasn't for you... that could be a soul level memory of getting stuck in the wrong career, which you're deeply afraid of repeating. And now you're experiencing a lot of difficulty figuring out what career would work for you, and judging yourself for being "lazy."

That could, of course, be just societal expectations working on you... we all have to deal with that, and it's especially hard if you don't fit the mold (nobody with Uranus at the midheaven does! Self included.)... but it could also be a legacy of past lives in which you followed the career path that was laid out for you, even though it was completely at odds with what who you were and what you needed. You would have gotten plenty of recognition and reward from others for doing that, but felt like a fraud, or worse, inside. At the same time, you never learned how to find your own way and create a career right for you. So now you have to learn that from scratch.

One way to integrate the skipped step... and I may have briefly touched on this in the north node post... is to make sure you have a career that fits with what's deep in your soul. If you're tempted to go into a nice, "safe" career that doesn't fit with your creative impulses and your need to express yourself... don't. Your chart shows the need for a career that brings out all those creative energies, and that makes use of your personal experiences, and shows that several times over.
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Unread 06-10-2015, 04:52 AM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

Osamenor, the bit I had overlooked in my post has been mentioned by you in the above post, and that is the Uranus/Neptune/MC conjunction squaring the Aries/Libra Moon's node axis. I am assuming that the text you are referring to (on Karmic Astrology) is the one written by Martin Schulmann.

As one who has my Sun-Pluto conjunct squaring my nodal axis, I am familiar with the karmic nature of planets which square the nodes, and how in a way they demand that a person deals with them in order to move to the north node - at around the age of 40-42, although later is fine, so long as the `work' is done.

Thus, brilo has a need to feel, experience, wash, bathe and dive into the MC/Uranus/Neptune conjunct, and he is already doing that by recognising that the formal education he has experienced does not `speak' to him. He may have to try lots of different things before something actually `fits' him. I also have Neptune conj MC, and it gives a very foggy idea of where one is going. It can also lead to idealising a particular career idea, and then being shattered when you realise that it is not what you believed it would be. One of my astrology texts suggests that the generation with Uranus/Neptune conjunct have brought in with them a powerful spiritual mysticism and intuitive powers (from Atlantis and Mu) and will perhaps have a hard time in grounding this ability into the current earth circumstance. For brilo, this difficulty is centred around career/work and life direction. That may be a major stumbling block for him until he eventually finds a path - an expression -which fits him.
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Unread 06-10-2015, 07:32 PM
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Re: I'm lost. Please help! (career)

asc lord venus debilated over virgo 6th impacting health, intestinal issues, kidneys, etc.

debilated venus self-centred in inter-personal relations. sun-venus aptitude for arts and beauty, venus debilated virgo, lord mer over libra, debilation cancelled, gradual growth in arts and health matters. venus 6th coping with the opponents through personal charm of personality.

but sun-venus and moon-sat opp great stress in matters of health, calling for zinc supplements venus combust with sun, relationship with father, arts, etc. sat lord 9th for luck-higher education-father-distant travels under stress. cap 9th inimical for the taurus asc, luck etc under stress-delay. life settling late at 36+ thumb rule. sat over 12th pisces for foreign lands.

sat retro towards acq 11th gains through public-admin, reform, innovation, old friends, etc, delayed results.

mars own scorpio 6th aptitude for investigative-secretive work, aggressive with opponents, accident prone.

mars lord 7th negating to the 6th negating relationship. currently sat retro towards mars-scorpio 6th, sat lord 9th-10th for luck calling for greater efforts, prone to urological health issues, intestinal, etc. sat scorpio transit 9th from moon slow-down in luck.

jup own sag 7th growth-riches through knowledge-management, advisory-consultancy roles, delayed relationship. jup sag love of law-justice, philosophy, optimistic.

come Aug sat direct sag over natal jup could be good for employment-career prospects, transit 10th from moon, jup leo trine natal jup sag 7th promoting relationship-marriage probably by mid-Aug to watch-hope for.

jup-rahu the node heading towards sun-venus virgo 5th late 015 clouding romance, prone to tb-cancer of stomach-heart-intestine to care, while jup and rahu the giver over sun-venus could promote artistic aptitudes, relationship, advisory-managerial-admin role etc, while rahu could tend to rise and fall in these matters to care, coming 1.5yr.

ketu separative node heading towards moon-sat pisces 12th prone to pain-injury-surgery heart-lungs-feet etc impacting luck, foreign lands, career, etc to care. ketu next transit pisces 11th tending to detachment from income-friendships to care coming 1.5yr. natal ketu impulsive aries 12th


hope generic observations-inputs enable take stock, reflect further, pick as relevant.

asc taurus creative. moon-sat pisces spiritual-sensitive but prone to melancholy, aptitude for economics, jurisprudence, etc. sun-venus virgo love of beauty and splendor. mars own scorpio research aptitude.

jup own sag 7th growth-riches through advisory-consultancy knowledge based roles, and aptitude for law-justice/philosophy,

mer-rahu libra 6th scholarly, argumentative alike a lawyer while could be prone to be quarrelsome same time. mer lord 2nd for finances over 6th calling for extra efforts again. rahu 6th overcoming challenges tactically, venus 6th charm of personality, while mars scorpio tends to be aggressive again with opponents. ketu aries impulsive again in action, accident prone, tending to foreign countries-distant lands.

may be trainer/advisor/director-researcher, university roles all in one, in the area of arts sun-venus conjunct, venus 2nd highest deg factor for vocation, virgo intellectual-critical-perfectionist, moon highest deg the personality, moon-sat pisces spiritual-sensitive-emotional-just; or in the area of law-justice - gradual pace of growth venus debilated virgo-debilation cancelled. cap-sat 9th settling late at 36+.

may wear 0.25 carat diamond over a platinum pendant touching the heart, to strengthen combust-debilated venus impacting health, relationship. mars-venus 6th negating relationship. venus elevated aspect over pisces 12th promoting foreign lands.

currently jup leo trine natal jup sag 7th promoting career-relationship hopefully and aptitude for law-justice-philosophy, while come Aug sat too transits sag-jup promoting aptitude for law-justice etc. coming 2yrs, while jup-rahu transit virgo over sun-venus promote romance-relationship, advisory roles, artistic aptitudes, but prone to rise-fall to care.

wishing well, take care,


kshantaram
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Last edited by kshantaram; 06-10-2015 at 07:37 PM.
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