Aquarius disappearing act

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GuyWithWeirdChart

Well-known member
Hello everyone, I know this is sorta generalizing so I decided this would be the proper spot to post. I've used a lot of online dating since I come from a small town and don't go out much and I have noticed that Aquarius people tend to pull the disappearing act a lot. Like they're the ones who literally just vanish out of nowhere for seemingly no reason, I've also been catfished by one when I was younger, and I've met with many people in person who I've met online, I've been stood up a few times (showed up and they didn't come) and every time it was by an Aquarius. One time I even spoke to a girl that did this and asked her why and she said it's funny. Like wtf? Has anyone else had experiences with this? I know Aquarius people tend to be "trolls" but it's like wtf, they're supposed to be humanitarians and all that but they are seriously one of the most heartless sun signs in my experience. And to any aquarius people reading this, why do you just disappear without any explanation or consideration for the other person? Do you just find it amusing to mess with people and waste their time or is it something else? It's gotten to the point to where I don't even trust these people anymore and I avoid reaching out to them out of fear of them just pulling the disappearing act or being played. You think you've develop some sort of connection with them and then all of a sudden they're just gone without a word and you're just sitting their wondering what the hell happened. Do they know they're being a-holes? Are they simply being selfish and choosing to make it easier for themselves by just disappearing without having to offer an explanation? I really don't understand.
 
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waybread

waybread

Well-known member
As a sun-Mercury-Venus Aquarian, I kind of resent the idea that we're supposed to be unreliable and selfish. Aquarius is a fixed sign, so we are capable of long-term sustained relationships. Any sign can be insensitive and rude, quite frankly.

Guy, I don't know what you're like. Can you post your "weird chart" here? But, for example, if you have a heavily watery chart, notably with Cancer or Scorpio, sometimes these signs can come across to Aquarians as overly controlling or needy. Aquarians truly need our space.

Aquarius is the fixed air sign. Unless there is strong water elsewhere in the chart, Aquarians tend not to operate on an emotional wavelength. It's more mental.

Similarly, someone with a bunch of Leo or Taurus might just have planets in opposition or square to the Aquarian's natal sun and perhaps other placements. This can send of bad vibes, however unintentionally.

In fact, with people whose charts are strong in air signs in general, it's best to keep a light touch, on a more intellectual plane, to begin with.

None of this justifies horrible rudeness, unfortunately.
 
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Sagcap88

Well-known member
I think the term is “ghosting”. It’s an unfortunate thing happening a lot these days. I’ve been ghosted by several signs; none of them Aquarius.

It’s just a lack of character. Many people are disordered and raised without it; they don’t care how you or I feel. It totally ***** but remember it’s their problem!
 
Whoam1

Whoam1

Well-known member
My mom is an Aquarius both tropical and sidereal. She was THE poster child for addiction and troubled youth. Dance around in the cornfields drinking by middle school rehab at 13. Loud borderline abusive parents. They supported her drinking and partying, in fact they gave her the stuff. Her biological sperm donor and her had family time with her him and her bros (his sons) with family cocaine time as they prep family dinner.

She was flakey in part because that's all she knew. She didn't have a support system let alone didn't know she needed one. They don't like hurting people's feelings, some times they think they aren't good enough so they just leave.

My mom has got her **** together now and is a total spiritual badass.
 
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GuyWithWeirdChart

Well-known member
Sagcap88 said:
I think the term is “ghosting”. It’s an unfortunate thing happening a lot these days. I’ve been ghosted by several signs; none of them Aquarius.

It’s just a lack of character. Many people are disordered and raised without it; they don’t care how you or I feel. It totally ***** but remember it’s their problem!
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Just out of curiosity, which signs have ghosted you in the past?
 
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GuyWithWeirdChart

Well-known member
waybread said:
As a sun-Mercury-Venus Aquarian, I kind of resent the idea that we're supposed to be unreliable and selfish. Aquarius is a fixed sign, so we are capable of long-term sustained relationships. Any sign can be insensitive and rude, quite frankly.

Guy, I don't know what you're like. Can you post your "weird chart" here? But, for example, if you have a heavily watery chart, notably with Cancer or Scorpio, sometimes these signs can come across to Aquarians as overly controlling or needy. Aquarians truly need our space.

Aquarius is the fixed air sign. Unless there is strong water elsewhere in the chart, Aquarians tend not to operate on an emotional wavelength. It's more mental.

Similarly, someone with a bunch of Leo or Taurus might just have planets in opposition or square to the Aquarian's natal sun and perhaps other placements. This can send of bad vibes, however unintentionally.

In fact, with people whose charts are strong in air signs in general, it's best to keep a light touch, on a more intellectual plane, to begin with.

None of this justifies horrible rudeness, unfortunately.
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Yeah my chart is pretty watery, however Uranus is actually my strongest planetary energy. I know how to detach myself emotionally I don't do it though because I feel in a way that's "cheating" so to speak. It makes life much easier when you don't have to worry about other people, and I feel like this world needs more compassion so I don't want to just make it easier for myself by being detached. I'll post my chart below. I've never experienced this type of thing with Libras or Gemini, it's always been Aquarius people so that's why I'm thinking there's something different about them.

OFsTjXc.gif
 
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Lykanized

Lykanized

Well-known member
Hmmm, interesting.. I knew an Aquarius girl who seemed like she was so into me and at the same time she often felt insecure and unloved. She pretty much ghosted me and I wonder if it's because I came on a bit strong now. I wasn't being clingy, just a bit intense and maybe that got to her. It was really confusing to me because it just came off like giving mixed signals or being flakey, but I suppose water and Aquarius don't mix too easily. Actually, I've never had much luck with any air types

I even gave her lots of space. Didn't talk to her everyday at all. Wasn't needy or controlling. She seemed like she was into me as a person and then after we finally started getting closer...bye!

Oh well. I'm happy to understand Aquarians a little more. The only air in my chart are my Venus and Jupiter
 
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Whoam1

Whoam1

Well-known member
It also depends on what planets drive them. Look at dignity, angularity, and luminary aspects to find the planets. So any Aquarius with highted Saturn (aside from/in addition to being dignified) or highted Pluto will need more space from people for their own health. Mars or Uranus more heightened will need more stomping ground.
 
Lykanized

Lykanized

Well-known member
What was most peculiar to me was that in my case, the Aquarius was disheartened by feeling lesser than others, not good enough and very sensitive to peoples' reactions
 
waybread

waybread

Well-known member
Perhaps we also have to face the possibility that, regardless of sun-sign, some people are cruel because they can be and it makes them feel more superior and in control. Maybe we all remember the Mean Girls (and guys) from school who seemed to have no reason for being nasty other than that they were "popular" and wanted to reinforce their status. Kind of like animal species with a pecking order. Unfortunately, the Internet seems to bring out the worst as well as the best in people.

GWTWC, I hope you don't mind some chart analysis here, because I wondered if something about it might actually attract these rude, insensitive people. BTW, I don't see anything notably weird about your chart. In the modern astrology developed by Marc Edmund Jones, it is a "bowl" chart pattern. http://www.angelfire.com/ak5/mysty/lessons/L3.html And then with Placidus houses, your Pisces planets (including your sun) are intercepted. This can make it hard for you to be assertive, especially with Saturn sitting on top of Mars.

You've also got that sun-Venus sextiling your moon-Neptune. I would think this combo makes you extremely idealistic; and capable of unconditional love for people. (Including your sun-Jupiter trine in the mix.) With Pluto in the 7th conjunct your NN, your personal growth will come from intense, committed relationship/s.

The kicker is, that your loving idealistic nature bumps up against a really cross-patch Scorpio Pluto square Saturn-Mars-Mercury. Have you got a constructive way to express that? Other than occasionally calling people A-holes? (I dunno, like windsurfing when the small craft warnings are posted, as a physiotherapist for accident victims, or competitive swimming?) Because otherwise, you may be prone to denying and suppressing that part of yourself. In which case, you may attract to yourself cruel people, because the chart has to express itself in some fashion. Suppressed planets typically show up as other people who seemingly embody the planets' negative characteristics. In today's American political climate, we're seeing a lot of negativity foisted on politicians and people of opposite political persuasions.

On the other hand, if you do more overtly express your big Pluto square, Aquarians might be the first to disappear because emotional intensity is just not our thing. I think it's rude just to vanish, but then I'm pretty old school.
 
waybread

waybread

Well-known member
BTW, Aquarians are capable of committed relationships. I've been married twice, once for 20 years, and now going on 21+. However, my ex is a Gemini and my husband is a Libra, with both, our suns are trined. I think air "gets" air. However, a lot of other stuff going on in the chart can make an airy couple more or less compatible.
 
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Sagcap88

Well-known member
GuyWithWeirdChart said:
Just out of curiosity, which signs have ghosted you in the past?
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Pisces because they couldn’t say it my face, Cancer because they’re passive aggressive, Libra because he wanted me to be the bad guy and end things (so he could retain his status as a peaceful libra), Leo because I wasn’t worth the time of day (he thought he was a king dismissing a peasant), and Moon in Cancer (very common).
 
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GuyWithWeirdChart

Well-known member
It happened again... Lol

Ive been talking to an Aquarius girl, getting to know each other, had plans on meeting, etc.
Having a pretty good back and forth conversation . Hitting it off. Then boom, just disappears.

Hasn't been online in 3 days. Lol

She also has Mars/Venus in Aquarius..

I'm very intrigued by how this is going to play out, will she even come back? And if she does is she just going to play it off like it never happened? Lol . You guys truly are hard to pin down.
 
Lykanized

Lykanized

Well-known member
Mmm...Personally, I wouldn't be able to handle that. If you think you can, then stick with it, but for me it would just send the message they don't really care. I think all water types generally have a need for intimacy and that airiness may just not be compatible. I do think that's a pretty airy thing, not just Aquarius. At least ime. And if you were to develop something deeper, you may still have those questions in mind that don't get answered because they may perceive you to be being too serious about things and weighing down on them

I've had a tendency to give more of myself than I get in the past which I've moved past by now, so I'm talking from my own experiences of course..But just remember to think of your needs and don't feel like you have to be understanding of others at your own expense if you've ever had that tendency too. It should always go two ways and if someone doesn't care enough, they may not return that
 
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GuyWithWeirdChart

Well-known member
Lykanized said:
Mmm...Personally, I wouldn't be able to handle that. If you think you can, then stick with it, but for me it would just send the message they don't really care. I think all water types generally have a need for intimacy and that airiness may just not be compatible. I do think that's a pretty airy thing, not just Aquarius. At least ime. And if you were to develop something deeper, you may still have those questions in mind that don't get answered because they may perceive you to be being too serious about things and weighing down on them

I've had a tendency to give more of myself than I get in the past which I've moved past by now, so I'm talking from my own experiences of course..But just remember to think of your needs and don't feel like you have to be understanding of others at your own expense if you've ever had that tendency too. It should always go two ways and if someone doesn't care enough, they may not return that
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Normally, I'd be hurt by this, in the past it always caught me off guard. This time however, I went into this knowing full well that not only was her ghosting a possibility, but extremely likely. It seems that was indeed the case. I didn't allow myself to get too comfortable and I didn't invest myself emotionally, basically I didn't allow myself to get my hopes up. I simple conversed with her like I normally would, was getting to know her, etc.. I'm honestly more intrigued than anything right now. She didn't delete her profile which leads me to believe she'll be returning, eventually. I just wanna see how this plays out. But you're right, I personally do take it as a sign of disrespect, however maybe they don't see it that way? If only it was possible to put yourself in other people's minds. Regardless of what happens I'm just going to play it cool, if she does come back I'm not going to mention her absence , I'll pretend like it never happened and didnt phase me. Right now I'm just wondering if a) this is some sort of test to see my reaction b) she is taking some time away from it to think things through c) she simply isn't interested and decided she's just gonna drop me without any explanation.

Literally she just disappeared mid conversation, her last message was a response to my question followed by a question of her own.

Whatever the case may be, I'll be sure to update to let you know what happens.
 
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GuyWithWeirdChart

Well-known member
waybread said:
Perhaps we also have to face the possibility that, regardless of sun-sign, some people are cruel because they can be and it makes them feel more superior and in control. Maybe we all remember the Mean Girls (and guys) from school who seemed to have no reason for being nasty other than that they were "popular" and wanted to reinforce their status. Kind of like animal species with a pecking order. Unfortunately, the Internet seems to bring out the worst as well as the best in people.

GWTWC, I hope you don't mind some chart analysis here, because I wondered if something about it might actually attract these rude, insensitive people. BTW, I don't see anything notably weird about your chart. In the modern astrology developed by Marc Edmund Jones, it is a "bowl" chart pattern. http://www.angelfire.com/ak5/mysty/lessons/L3.html And then with Placidus houses, your Pisces planets (including your sun) are intercepted. This can make it hard for you to be assertive, especially with Saturn sitting on top of Mars.

You've also got that sun-Venus sextiling your moon-Neptune. I would think this combo makes you extremely idealistic; and capable of unconditional love for people. (Including your sun-Jupiter trine in the mix.) With Pluto in the 7th conjunct your NN, your personal growth will come from intense, committed relationship/s.

The kicker is, that your loving idealistic nature bumps up against a really cross-patch Scorpio Pluto square Saturn-Mars-Mercury. Have you got a constructive way to express that? Other than occasionally calling people A-holes? (I dunno, like windsurfing when the small craft warnings are posted, as a physiotherapist for accident victims, or competitive swimming?) Because otherwise, you may be prone to denying and suppressing that part of yourself. In which case, you may attract to yourself cruel people, because the chart has to express itself in some fashion. Suppressed planets typically show up as other people who seemingly embody the planets' negative characteristics. In today's American political climate, we're seeing a lot of negativity foisted on politicians and people of opposite political persuasions.

On the other hand, if you do more overtly express your big Pluto square, Aquarians might be the first to disappear because emotional intensity is just not our thing. I think it's rude just to vanish, but then I'm pretty old school.
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Thank you for that chart analysis, and sorry for getting back so late, my mind has been quite scattered lately. I agree, the internet certainly does bring out sides to people you wouldn't ever see in real life, I think a lot of it has to do with desensitization, the person isn't there in front of you so often times people aren't as considerate or they simply aren't worried about consequences. As far as the weird chart thing, the reason why I used this name is because I find certain things about my chart to be odd lol and I couldn't think of anything better. And you're right, I am definitely an idealist by nature, I have to try really hard in order not to be, I seem to live in my own mind however I am capable of seeing things for what they are. I don't really have any outlets for my Pluto energy, a depression set in several years back and I haven't really felt all that motivated to do anything, however i've been getting back into working out lately, hopefully I can work my way up again because I do enjoy being fit and healthy, that was always something I was really big on in my youth. I've been doing some more research on Aquarius people in hopes of understanding them better. I haven't been this intrigued about something astrologically in a while.
 
waybread

waybread

Well-known member
Astrology can be a truly absorbing subject-- and for the rest of your life, if you want it to be.

You thought "we guys were hard to pin down." The reason is that no astrological signatures work 100% of the time, and that a horoscope has thousands of data-bytes that impact one another. I tend to think in terms of astrological probabilities, not absolutes.
 
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GuyWithWeirdChart

Well-known member
Well, I said I would update this if anything happened.. I had some theories as to what might happen if she did return and I was correct.

About a month has passed since her and I last spoke and today around 5am she messages me casually, continuing the conversation as if nothing had ever happened. No explanation as to why she vanished for about a month, simply just returned to the conversation like normal.

I had a feeling if she ever returned it would be like this. I'm still curious as to why she decided to just vanish. I don't plan on responding to her message until later on tonight as I don't want to seem desperate or overzealous. I plan on responding with "Hey it's been awhile, how's your summer been?" Followed by a response to her message. I am not going to question her absence, ill just acknowledge her absence with the "it's been awhile" so she knows I haven't forgotten. Aquarius Sun, Mars, and Venus. I guess that in itself is enough to explain this behavior. Lol. I can't say i'm pleased by it, but in some ways I can respect the independent nature and ability to detach from things, I also find it somewhat intriguing. Well, thanks for listening. That's all for now.
 
O

or1000

Well-known member
GuyWithWeirdChart said:
Well, I said I would update this if anything happened.. I had some theories as to what might happen if she did return and I was correct.

About a month has passed since her and I last spoke and today around 5am she messages me casually, continuing the conversation as if nothing had ever happened. No explanation as to why she vanished for about a month, simply just returned to the conversation like normal.

I had a feeling if she ever returned it would be like this. I'm still curious as to why she decided to just vanish. I don't plan on responding to her message until later on tonight as I don't want to seem desperate or overzealous. I plan on responding with "Hey it's been awhile, how's your summer been?" Followed by a response to her message. I am not going to question her absence, ill just acknowledge her absence with the "it's been awhile" so she knows I haven't forgotten. Aquarius Sun, Mars, and Venus. I guess that in itself is enough to explain this behavior. Lol. I can't say i'm pleased by it, but in some ways I can respect the independent nature and ability to detach from things, I also find it somewhat intriguing. Well, thanks for listening. That's all for now.
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i don't mess with aquarius venus'. especially in this aquarius age. with all that aquarius, if you're expecting unwavering attention from her you won't get it easily if at all. and she's likely the same with everyone.
 
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