I hate my natal chart

waybread said:

Thanks, Osamenor--

I think I've had it both ways.

I cannot recall a time when I did not want children, and I was blessed with marriage and two beloved children-- now in middle age. I am also a grandmother, from more of a distance than I want, but such is modern life-- as well as covid travel restrictions.

But I also recall my own mother. She was a very intelligent, educated woman who was normal enough when I was young, but around about my high school years, I began to see her as someone deeply dissatisfied with her life-- and inclined to take it out on her family members. She seemed constantly critical, to the point where I got into the mold of simply trying to please her so that she wouldn't come out with something hurtful. Later when I was a young adult she suffered from depression and probably alcoholism. (She died when I was 35.)

None of her negativity was easy to be around.

Which is what concerns me, Trisha, about your posts.

People who read charts on this forum do see a lot of unhappy people. Which stands to reason. Nobody comes here saying, "I am happy and my life is great. How do you explain that?" People turn to astrology when life doesn't go so smoothly. (As I did.)

But your level of anger and anxiety is unusually high, even for an astrology forum. If you cannot find a happier space from within yourself-- simply because this is the stand you take for yourself, independently of your external circumstances-- I wonder how you're going to be around a young child who will place extraordinary demands on you.

You mention dropping some prospective boyfriends because they were too "clinchy" or clingy. (Did you "meet" them "shopping" on the Internet, or were these men you actually know personally?)

Well, if anyone is "clingy," it is a young child in relation to her mother. The child's survival depends on it.

So what would you do when you're feeling irritable and the baby won't stop crying? At 3:00 in the morning? And it doesn't end there. Wait till your teenager is out with friends for the evening and doesn't come home at the agreed-upon time? And his school work is slipping? And so on.

I hope you do get what you want in life. My concern is that you cannot get to it from here.

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Yes I want a child and not a men as child. That's two different things. I want a men who don't behave like a child because he needs so much attention like a child. I don't want to discuss why I'm not writing back within 5 minutes or why I only wrote three sentence per day when I'm busy.

That with a baby not all is easy, I know and I have think about it more than one year, so maybe enough.

attached it is First is 03/2014 when last relationship started, second actual transits

When that relationship started, you had transiting Mars squaring your natal Mars. Mars transits are a key factor in getting you interested, and they happen several times a year. You also had your annual Venus opposition at that time.

That year, Jupiter would've transited both your Venus and your Mars. In March, Jupiter was transiting your Chiron. Was there anything about this relationship that felt particularly healing? Or damaging?

Saturn was squaring your nodal axis. That might suggest a karmic meeting.

Mars, Venus, and Jupiter are the planets to watch in this case, and they all had significant transits at that time.

Osamenor said:

When that relationship started, you had transiting Mars squaring your natal Mars. Mars transits are a key factor in getting you interested, and they happen several times a year. You also had your annual Venus opposition at that time.

That year, Jupiter would've transited both your Venus and your Mars. In March, Jupiter was transiting your Chiron. Was there anything about this relationship that felt particularly healing? Or damaging?

Saturn was squaring your nodal axis. That might suggest a karmic meeting.

Mars, Venus, and Jupiter are the planets to watch in this case, and they all had significant transits at that time.

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Not in this relationship. But 2018 and 2019 I wanted from two guys more but both hurt me (chiron square venus 🤔 ) but I'm already over this. We were engaged for one year but then it broke. Maybe i don't believe in love (between men and women) anymore 🤷*♀️ that was also the time I think about beeing single mother (or parents as friends) if I'm already single with 32,5 years. (as plan B)

Not really because I'm frustrating with all, but don't believe there is anybody out there for a relationship for me.. Or marriage 🤷*♀️

With my ex I'm already friends now. We understand better as friends as in a relationship.

This year I have met a few guys in March but it was not more like a "flirt". Not also from my side also from their side. But I noticed if someone give's me space (seeing only every two days and not spamming me with messages) then I also had no problems with closeness.

But with him there wasn't anything. Isn't jupiter - mars and jupiter - chiron not at end of the year / next year?

Osamenor said:

When that relationship started, you had transiting Mars squaring your natal Mars. Mars transits are a key factor in getting you interested, and they happen several times a year. You also had your annual Venus opposition at that time.

That year, Jupiter would've transited both your Venus and your Mars. In March, Jupiter was transiting your Chiron. Was there anything about this relationship that felt particularly healing? Or damaging?

Saturn was squaring your nodal axis. That might suggest a karmic meeting.

Mars, Venus, and Jupiter are the planets to watch in this case, and they all had significant transits at that time.

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Also a compliment. I have l read your blog. Very fascinating

Your natal chart is essentially the portrait of the real you, and you need to use it for good, and not blame all of the misshapens in your life on your chart.

Trisha said:

Hello everybody

I hate my natal chart..
Nothing went good..

Job: I only have a limited job till end of year. I hoped saturn transit trigon sun brings me new Job.. But till now nothing happened. Only Jobs which are less paid or not so favorable as my current (I'm ready for compromises, also for money, but not too much of them).

Also I'm wishing for a boyfriend and children but nothing happened till 4 years now. That's much more a problem. Every guy I met is very clinchy. They say they love me after 3 dates - big love. As I looked in their natal all have Uranustransit square venus.. So nothing stable. Also tried to find a guy who will give me his sperm that I will have a child alone because it doesn't work with guys. After chatting they told me they are looking for a relationship and write me every day. Instead I only want to have a child ��*♀️ don't want to forbid to see the child's father because every child should known where their biological father is.

I thought when saturn will trine all my planets in gemini it will be better. But now I think saturn in aquarius only have to do with restrictions like "I will get things how I want to have"

Could please anyone help me to figure out when job and relationship issues will improve. If relationship issue will last longer when and if it's possible to have a baby?

Im so unsatisfied for 2 years because it doesnt matter how i strain, i dont get an success in having famliy or job and i dont want to wait anymore.

Best regards
Mary

here is natal chart

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You might be 100% right. Your natal chart might not be the most harmonic or strongest or luckiest. BUT even people who have birth charts that are completely self conflicting, so your thoughts fight your emotions and your emotions hurt your body, you can reverse all that inner conflict and harmonize all the power and make it work FOR you instead of against you.

Basically, blaming when you were born is not helpful to you. You can't change it.

What you CAN do is change how you use the energies you were born with. Just becuase they are not harmonic with each other within you doesn't mean you cant use your energy to make wealth, find true love, become super fit. Instead of blaming something you can't change, sit and ask yourself in many different tones and speeds: "What must I do right now to realize my wealthy, happy, sexy self?"

Hello Trisha.

From what you have written here, I have the impression that in some ways you have given up on trying to find a partner per se, but you do want to have a child. Maybe you haven't given up completely, but you find it difficult to get close to a man, you find them too "pushy" for a relationship. Given your Pluto placement, I would say you are in your mid thrities so you feel that this is the time to go for it. Unfortunely us women do have a biological clock. Please don't take this as any form of criticism, I believe that most women do want children, and it's a completely valid desire.

I would however like to focus on the part where you say you would prefer to raise a child basically alone. You say that you would allow the father to see the child, but my impression is that you would like to make sole decisions for the child when you say you do not want co-parenting. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong. I am not sure about the legal system in your country, but this is usually a decision made in court, and only if the father is abusive or neglectful towards the child. If the child was conceived from an anonymous sperm donor then yes, they have no right to co-parent, and they also do not see their children - they don't even know who their children are! You can in fact raise a child alone if the biological father (that you aren't married to) isn't legally listed as the child's father, you can make such an arrangement with a willing person, but you always risk him claiming that he is the father later on and seeking his rights to co-parent. Even if you refuse, he can have a DNA test ordered. Also, if the father isn't listed as a father legally, he doesn't have to pay child support. Again, this is my country's legal system and I am not sure about yours, so take this with a grain of salt.

Now I am sure you know that most children do best with both parents in their lives, and that being a single parent can be very draining and difficult, as other people have mentioned here already. I don't know your financial situation, but I believe you should really take everything into consideration and assess if you really can do this alone, without child support - because as I said, I am not sure if you could arrange that without co-parenting, without a very valid reason. And I want to make it clear that you *do not* have to have a romantic relationship with the child's father in order to co-parent. You can live separately, but every decision regarding the child needs to be mutual and agreed upon, and he has to have access to the child' life and be able to have a relationship with them.

Now let me get into your natal chart. You have a huge focus on your 8th house, and being a Scorpio Ascendant, many of these planets are in Gemini, and opposing your Uranus in the 2nd house. Could this be the reason you feel uneasy about getting into a relationship with a man, why you find them to be too clingy? Maybe you feel as if you cannot trust them, maybe you feel uneasy about sharing assets with them. Have you had any bad experiences with men in the past that have shaped your views today? Do you feel as if they somehow limit your freedom to make choices?