the worst synastry aspects ?

Kenoshamaensa

Well-known member
One aspect isn't necessarily going to cause trouble unless there is no competing "better" aspects.

I find this interesting, as I'm inclined to agree, but wonder when is "too bad" insurmountable.

For instance, I have a number of really GOOD synastry aspects with one fellow, but we also have a Venus-Saturn square (my Saturn, his Venus) and a Sun-Saturn square (my Sun, his Saturn). To offset that are a Moon-Moon conjunction, double Sun-Venus sextiles (his to mine, mine to his), Mecury sextiles, Venus-Mars trine, and Sun-Jupiter trine (plus some other good stuff). I'd say the good outweighs the bad ... but I worry that the bad might be TOO bad, and eventually stifle the good. My ex- and I had a Venus-Saturn square AND a Venus-Neptune square (something missing this time). So I'm perhaps overly skittish of the Venus-Saturn square. I just look at it and worry. Our composite chart also has a real mix of good and bad, but our synastry chart is actually *better* than the composite chart, leading me to think the "potential" outweighs the "actual."

Anyway, when I see such really good aspects and some truly worrisome aspects, I'm never sure how to *weight* it. Saturn in synastry doesn't really form anything positive, although there are a lot of OTHER (non-Saturnian) positive traits.
 

tokyo.lights

Well-known member
can anyone tell me what would be the very worst synastry aspects to have when reviewing the charts of two people. I was thinking sun square mars I heard that that aspects could mean violent arguments.

Personally I hate anything involving Saturn or Pluto as it means an imbalance of power. You can only bully someone into submission for so long before they resent you. Any hard aspects from Saturn or Pluto to personal planets will feel suffocating and you can only put up with manipulation from Pluto for so long. Neptune is pretty messed up too, you feel as if you can't reach them. Uranus I can tolerate, I'm good at adapting. And who doesn't need occasional breaks from their partner? hehe :lol: If I have to pick one, which makes me think HELL NO, GET AWAY FROM ME it would have to be Saturn hard aspect to Moon. Having someone control/stifle my emotions...struggling to breathe just thinking about it.
wow misspelling galore lol. *fixed
 
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bittermoon

Well-known member
for me:hard aspects to the moon and mercury. i was in a relationship once where the guy's mars/sun conjunction in aries (gasp) was squaring my cancer mercury. the constant avalanche of arian power made me withdraw completely.

i think in any relationship communication is the most important thing. you can have dazzling sex, but if you can't talk about things, that's where it ends. hard mercury aspects don't necessarily have to be detrimental, as long as both partners are willing to work on it, or at least be aware.

hard aspects to my scorpio moon are also not a winner for me. if i feel threatened on whatever level, i will simply emotionally withdraw.
 

bittermoon

Well-known member
let me add mercury square moon to this list. i have a double square with somebody i was once interested in. neither of us had the intention to hurt the other, but it's something that constantly happened. i ended up walking on egg shells around him and there'd still be miscommunication. this aspect is a dealbreaker to me.
 

Vista

Well-known member
for me:hard aspects to the moon and mercury. i was in a relationship once where the guy's mars/sun conjunction in aries (gasp) was squaring my cancer mercury. the constant avalanche of arian power made me withdraw completely.

i think in any relationship communication is the most important thing. you can have dazzling sex, but if you can't talk about things, that's where it ends. hard mercury aspects don't necessarily have to be detrimental, as long as both partners are willing to work on it, or at least be aware.

hard aspects to my scorpio moon are also not a winner for me. if i feel threatened on whatever level, i will simply emotionally withdraw.


I have to agree with you on Mercury in hard aspect to Moon. I dated a I had an opposition with, and I seriously would be sitting right next to him and not hear what he said. This was a consistent theme in our relationship, him having to repeat what he said to me! It was the weirdest thing and was the catalyst to breaking us up!! Well...he was also a jerk too!
 

bittermoon

Well-known member
I have to agree with you on Mercury in hard aspect to Moon. I dated a I had an opposition with, and I seriously would be sitting right next to him and not hear what he said. This was a consistent theme in our relationship, him having to repeat what he said to me! It was the weirdest thing and was the catalyst to breaking us up!! Well...he was also a jerk too!

i love it how the universe can be oh so helpful sometimes :)
 

poyi

Premium Member
I have to agree with you on Mercury in hard aspect to Moon. I dated a I had an opposition with, and I seriously would be sitting right next to him and not hear what he said. This was a consistent theme in our relationship, him having to repeat what he said to me! It was the weirdest thing and was the catalyst to breaking us up!! Well...he was also a jerk too!

Hahaha is like different FM and AM radio stations.
 

Vista

Well-known member
i love it how the universe can be oh so helpful sometimes :)


I notice when I have the same synastry aspects over and over with the men I date I feel there is a karmic lesson involved. I usually attract some kind of hard aspect from Saturn to either my Sun, Moon, or ASC from the men I date. Definitely a lesson to be learned!! Saturn is my nemesis but also is my Sun ruler. Robert Hand told me this in a reading once that Saturn in hard aspect to Sun/Moon/ASC can be very rejecting(mostly to the ASC) and to the Moon and Sun, there is a feeling of fatedness but eventually ambivalence will develop between the couple and sometime coldness and disapproval. It's very difficult to overcome Saturn hard aspects to these planets and usually the harshness develops the longer you are together.
 

bittermoon

Well-known member
i think it makes sense to attract the same kind of partners. when i look at my own patterns, it's very obvious my north node in aqua needs attention. my previous 2 love interests had their sun conjunct my NN, and another one his moon. my current one has a stellium of moon, venus and jupiter conjunct my NN. this can't be coincidence. i better learn this time :)
 

Vista

Well-known member
i think it makes sense to attract the same kind of partners. when i look at my own patterns, it's very obvious my north node in aqua needs attention. my previous 2 love interests had their sun conjunct my NN, and another one his moon. my current one has a stellium of moon, venus and jupiter conjunct my NN. this can't be coincidence. i better learn this time :)

Boy, I would take those "hard aspects" any day of Saturn to Sun/Moon/ASC!! That's very nice in my opinion!
 

bittermoon

Well-known member
with the man who has his sun conjunct my NN, we have a double moon-mercury square, which is really nasty.

with the man who has his moon conjunct my NN, i also had his saturn on my NN. this is apparently an aspect that leads to a long lasting bond, but i just found it dulled his emotions. he and his aqua moon could not open up to me. my scorpio moon needs the intimacy.

when i met the current one and found out he had an aqua moon, i was very disappointed, but i think bc it's conjunct his venus and jupiter, it's a lot warmer than the aqua moon conjunct saturn.
 

StillOne

Well-known member
Anyway, I just wanted to say that while Saturn can be a devil, I find the hard Neptune aspects much WORSE in a chart, and hard Uranus or Pluto ... essentially watch those big outer planets when they form hard aspects to your personal planets in composite!
I'm wondering if you meant Synastry here as well. My ex has Pluto square my Asc and opposing my Chiron. Her Neptune opposes my Moon. I just didn't know which way was up anymore... Intensely challenging, but only from my side of the fence. I think since these aspects involved her outers and my personals, that she didn't really understand why the relationship was so difficult from my perspective. Quite sad actually... although it was hugely transformative for both of us!
 

astro11

Well-known member
The following is what I have observed in synastry and composite charts:

Mars in hard aspect to saturn because one person feels like they have the energy and will to do something but the other person deliberately tries to stop them, this causes resentment on both ends. Both partners could get in the way of the other' person's ambition and goals.

Venus in hard aspect to Neptune because of the inevitable dramatic disappointment, things seemed so beautiful but then all of a sudden the unpleasant reality comes out with a big bang.

Mercury in hard aspect to Neptune can cause both partners to feel that they have to intentionally mislead or lie to the other to have the other respect them. It is very easy for miscommunication to occur.

Venus in hard aspect to saturn is actually excellent for business partners or colleagues, you tend to attract more prosperity financially. However, in personal relationships there is a potent coldness that is hard to verbalize but is always felt. There is also a lack of physical affection.

Venus in hard aspect to Pluto causes obsessive compulsive relationships marked by extremes in feelings, jealousy, possessiveness and very heavy karma.

Saturn conjunct an angle makes one person feel that they are burdened or restricted by the other or that they are their teacher. I find Saturn on the MC or Asc is excellent for student-teacher relationships but not for personal relationships.

Samantha Samuels
www.astronumerologywisdom.com
 

fullmoonlibra

Well-known member
His to mine:
Uranus opposite Venus taurus (5degrees orb)
Uranus square DC aquarius (7degrees orb)
Uranus trine Jupiter pisces (7th!)
But:
Saturn trine Sun
Saturn trine Mars
Saturn opposite Jupiter
Saturn square Saturn
Saturn sextile Pluto
Saturn square Chiron

Mine to his:
Uranus trine Mercury
Uranus trine Mars
Uranus trine Venus
Uranus sextile Pluto
Uranus conjunct Neptune
And:
Saturn trine Jupiter


So lots of Uranus versus Saturn! But his Uranus to my planets rather negative and my Uranus to his planets only positive aspects..
So who is the one who is rather affected by the negative side of Uranus?

And does Saturns strength into the relationship 'beats' Uranus' inpredictability?
 

Zarathu

Account Closed
No textbook answer to this questions works. It depends on the individual chart. Even the nicest benefic and can be in a very terrible straits in connection to another one if they are very powerful and very very high friction.
 

astro11

Well-known member
I am reading this thread on the result of an internet search and discovered that I had posted a response four years ago!

I was thinking of a guy I just met who seems nice enough but the synastry/composite is horrible. It reminds me too much of the synastry of me and a relative who was born only two months after this guy so all the outer planets are only a few degrees apart. She has her Neptune exactly conjunct my Sun, and opposing my Moon-Saturn conjunction by 3-4 degrees. Her Saturn makes an exact conjunction to my second house cusp. Her Sun makes a 1 degree conjunction to my Jupiter. Her Pluto makes a 4 degree square to my Mercury-Mars conjunction. Her Moon makes a 2 degree conjunction to my Pluto. Her Uranus makes an exact quincunx to my Sun.

In the composite Venus is exactly conjunct the 12th house cusp, and Mercury, Sun and Mars are in the 12th, however Mars conjuncts the asc by 1 degree. The asc is at 25 degrees Taurus, tightly conjunct malefic fixed star algol. Since Mars rules the 12th house, it being right on the ascendant is even worse. Saturn and Pluto are exactly conjunct in the 6th house. The nodal axis conjuncts the 2nd-8th house axis by a couple of degrees (can be bad for finances)

The reason I mention it is because it is probably one of the worst experiences I have had with someone. She talked to me well on facebook, befriended me at first when I got to her house, and told me all of these personal things about her life, but the synastry doesn't lie and eventually it was found that she was a nightmare. Do keep in mind that in general she is a difficult personality, she is always complaining she has no friends, and she is lonely. I felt sorry for her at first but then I discovered why everyone feels the way they do towards her.

For starters, she had taken a lot of money from me. I was staying at her house, and whenever we went out, she would make me pay for everything, including her tickets to tourist attractions, transportation, and meals. She believed that since she was showing me around town that everything was my responsibility. To top it off, when we went shopping, she would always take all my stuff out of my bags and put it on the bed and examine it at home. Later it became evident that she was looking at the stuff to determine what she wanted to take later; she was actually stealing some of these tourist keepsakes I bought for people back home. Unfortunately it was not safe for me to go out alone in this particular foreign country, and no one else was available. If I refused I would just be stuck at home all day. If you are wondering why else I couldn't confront her, it was because she had already been accused of stealing by others in the family and she always acted like a drama queen (even though she took the stuff). She knows now that people have stopped accusing her because they don't get the stuff back, it strains familial connections, and she never faces any consequences from her immediate family. Her family is convinced it was the maids! And interestingly, she was always warning us about the maids, and how they would steal money and other stuff, which was just a convenient cover for her.

Sometimes Jup conj Sun can be nice, but when the rest of the aspects are so bad, Jupiter just magnifies the worst. In the composite Jupiter is in the first house in its detriment Gemini. On top of it, she erased the photos she took of me on her camera (when mine was out of batteries for a couple of days). I specifically asked if she could email them to me, and she kept saying she would, but when I returned a couple of days later from another city, she told me her young cousin deleted all the photos. I had asked the 12 year old boy if he deleted the photos and he told me he honestly didn't. I knew intuitively she had deleted them. I had heard her talking negatively about me with her mother a couple of times, but she didn't know I overheard. When I went to visit an astrologer, a meeting that I had requested her to make with her family's astrologer, she ended taking up half of my time with him. I had traveled half way around the world, she could see him at any time, but she chooses to interrupt my session with her personal questions. Then she has the nerve to rush me out saying we are going to be late coming back home. Overall she just became more and more aggressive and rude as the days went on when we were alone together. If my parents were also there, it was only then she would be nice.

It was an unbelievably bad experience, and there is more I could talk about but these are just the highlights. Be especially careful with the 6th-12th axis in composite, when many planets are there it is almost certain not to work out well unless its a very spiritual connection.
 

astro11

Well-known member
As others have pointed out, personal planets making hard aspects to Neptune are extremely tricky and almost always end badly.

An older man I knew had his Mars and Jupiter conjunct my Neptune by 2-4 degrees, his ascendant was conjunct my Neptune by 1 degree, and his Moon conjunct my Neptune by 8 degrees. My Mercury-Mars was square his Neptune by 1 degree, and my Venus was sesquiquadrate his Neptune by 1 degree. In the composite was a 6 degree Venus-Neptune square, a 1 degree Mars-Neptune semisquare, a 1 degree Saturn-Neptune semisextile, and a 2 degree Jupiter-Neptune square; Neptune also made 4 other easy tight aspects to Mercury, Uranus, the Sun and Pluto. So in the composite Neptune made a whopping 8 aspects, 7 of them being 2 degrees or less.

It is no surprise that the illusion about him came through in the end in a very negative way. In some ways I thought more highly of him than he actually deserved and he did get my trust. He portrayed a spiritual guru personality that belied who he was at the core, which was just to get adulation and unconditional following from spiritual seekers. He once said that his wives had to be his students, and he the teacher. He wanted me to be a certain way that was not really me, by following his teachings and instructions without question. He was rude with anyone who challenged his ideas, some of them far out there. I am an independent thinker and when I told him I had to make up my own mind, it was then he cut off contact with me. A couple of years later I read a book by famous vedic astrologer K.N Rao where I found out he had a classical combination for a fake guru.
 

AstroB

Active member
What an interesting thread!

It all depends. For people like me who have Sun-Saturn conjunction, Saturn-Venus contacts in synastry mostly act as a “glue”, meaning that relationship will last. My husband and I have Venus-Venus conjunction and his Saturn is conjucting both his and my Venus.

In my experience Saturn-Saturn aspects (excluding conjunction, because it’s a shared aspect for people of the same generation) are hard because they represent either objective obstacles for a relationship or different lifestyles and goals if a relationship materializes. Nobody is right or wrong, just different baggage, stages of life and approaches that can lead to discord.

Neptune-Venus opposition/square can be hard because one partner (usually Venus) is either too idealistic (bordering on delusional) or being lied to.

Pluton brings about obsessions and power plays. But it takes two to tango, most of the time (I am not talking about extreme situation where one partner is being victimized).

The most difficult “knots” to solve are those where attraction is very strong (great contacts between Venus, Mars, Moon, great positions in the 5th, 7th, 8th….) but those old devils Saturns are just badly positioned.

It all depends on what a person has in their natal chart.

I understand why it is hard to accept one’s natal chart limitations and the work that needs to be done. With awareness, open-mindedness and focus good things can be harnessed even from very difficult positions.

Sometimes people come into our lives for a brief moment just to “wake us up”. Th etrick is to recognize them. Astrology can be a very useful tool in this regard.
 
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