hi Alexandra
your chart shows the Jupiter/mercury and Jupiter/Neptune midpoint square you node. the node is your psychic center so this pattern shows your creative interest and abilities with mercury/Neptune mp and then with Jupiter/mercury mp square the node you have a the intellectual interest as shown by you art history major. this mp shows you are extremely intelligent and can integrate specific ideas with general pattern of ideas.
you mention you feel held back and this is also shown in your chart as you havr your moon conjunct to pluto and ixion.pluto shows you guard you emotional responses even though your friends experience you a very emotionally exuberant. pluto is an unconscious planet so there are deeper issues that affect you liklely are part of why you feel held back. ixion with the moon shows that there may be family tensions or feuds that affect you even though you were not the cause of these tensions.
your named asteroid alexdra is conjunct to ceres and nessus. this implies that you in addition to wanting to be successful in your profession, that you also are concerned about having a family.nessus with Alexandra shows you have childhood isssues .most likely your father did not approve of most of the things you do or want to be. this repressive influence is shown by Saturn square your vertex.the vertex square makes irt liely he was blindly repressive, not really having good reason to constrict and discipline you for the smallest matters. this aspect also would be a reason why you hold back, as this can cause insecurities in you.
you juno is opposed to liith which is another indication that you desire a family life. here orcus is opposed to lilith whish again, shows you have emotional issues surrounding your family life that may,though you desire a family, incline you to put off a family life t family off for advancement of your professional goals.
you do have eris conjunct your south node which gives you a very passionate feeling for life.it is probably the high energy of eris that allows you to hide you insecurities from your friends.
as what to do........the north node is transit your sun/mars conjunction from may to October 2017.....so put you doubts behind you because this transit shows that you will met with success if you just follow the path that you have begun. go with your "gut" feelings, be yourself and apply yourself to your goals,as the goals you have mentioned are clearly part of your chart.now is the time to redouble you effort as the environment is very favorable around you. I would say stop reflecting but charge ahead
you do have many emotional issues about family but try tyo put these out of your mind and your professional success will allow you to establish your own family and family life.
rahu
