Hi !
Why worry so much when many of your planets are in the star of growth (Rohini nakshatra). Ascendant and Venus in Taurus Rohini. Rohini is the nakshatra ruled by venus which materialises our wishes. It is the nakshatra of the man who is the 'salt if the earth'.. Actors, singers, performers,businessmen,commmerce, finance, agriculturists, cattle breeders , herbalist, environmentalist.. all those who nourish the earth with their bounty and make it worth living !
Your Ketu mahadasha is over on 30 th Spt 2011 and currently you are in a good dasha Venus with Rohini sitting on it in the first house of self. The second house has Sun and Mercury ( exalted) in Gemini. You are a good communicator , good with words
Mars in Taurus Mrigasira makes you good with Math and hence engineering.
You may however be very well suited to the Rohini careers. Your personality being Taurus, maybe you need to see if you are letting society decide your future by thinking that certain careers are more 'respectable' than others. Your Rahu Ketu Axis is from 11th Pisces to 5th Virgo house with a powerful Moon conjunct Ketu conj Saturn in the 11th. This means that you may have to leave the 'team mentality' or being part of group thinking and assert your own self better. Do what you feel is correct with confidence. Dont sacrifice for the team when you dont feel right. Also, better to have specific reachable and measurable goals and work with purpose rather than get carried away by someones opinion . Moon in Pisces makes you vulnerable to other peoples negative energies. So maybe you need to pick and choose who you interact with.
Just think back on the experience during Ketu mahadashaupto 2011.. there may some learning in that.Ketu is a great teacher.
Forget suicide ! Do as your spirit wills and all the very best ! God bless.