Why do I hide who I really am from people?

GeminiSun

Well-known member
The real me, is super emotional, sensitive, deep, understanding and very spiritual...

But I hide that part of myself. And I don't know why. Almost like instinctively. And put on this act of like bubbly, superficial, crazy, etc.

Like if you met me you would NEVER know how deep, introspective and spiritual I am. But I can't help it. My "acting" part just like comes up. It's not even that I try to be someone else it just "comes up," almost like I'm guarding a part of myself, the real me and I don't know why I do it.

I know this sounds complex and crazy but I'd love some insight on it.
 

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conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
You might think I'm joking with this but, why is the bubbly, crazy side of you somehow "not real"? Can a person divorce themselves from the environment they find themself in?

ETA: Astrology shows the dichotomy that you speak about. Scorpio rising as a fixed water is traditionally seen as "mute" which refers to its uncommunicative nature. This would incline a person to hold back a good deal of themselves, especially when those things would put one in a vulnerable position (Scorpio is traditionally seen as a Martial sign so would not like to come from a place of weakness). The converse is, you have your ASC ruler in Leo at the highest point of the chart, a Sagittarius Moon (the square from Saturn may also show some discomfort with this aspect of your character - judging your "bubbliness" for example, as well as your Mercury being aspected by Jupiter which would gear the rational faculties and communication style toward more gregariousness and openness, the trine from Saturn may bring the fruits of the saturnine signify - maturity and contemplation of the world around you.

I've noticed that Sagittarius Moon above all other Sag placements is the most likely to result in "stereotypical" Sagittarius behaviour.
 
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GeminiSun

Well-known member
You might think I'm joking with this but, why is the bubbly, crazy side of you somehow "not real"? Can a person divorce themselves from the environment they find themself in?

ETA: Astrology shows the dichotomy that you speak about. Scorpio rising as a fixed water is traditionally seen as "mute" which refers to its uncommunicative nature. This would incline a person to hold back a good deal of themselves, especially when those things would put one in a vulnerable position (Scorpio is traditionally seen as a Martial sign so would not like to come from a place of weakness). The converse is, you have your ASC ruler in Leo at the highest point of the chart, a Sagittarius Moon (the square from Saturn may also show some discomfort with this aspect of your character - judging your "bubbliness" for example, as well as your Mercury being aspected by Jupiter which would gear the rational faculties and communication style toward more gregariousness and openness.

I've noticed that Sagittarius Moon above all other Sag placements is the most likely to result in "stereotypical" Sagittarius behaviour.
I don't know how to explain it but like...

When I go into public I just put on this act of like bubbly, naive, happy, stupid, etc. And it just "comes." I don't like go out in public and be like
"UMGZ, I'm gonna be this way" but it just happens naturally and uncontrollably.

But the real me is sooo different. The person I am in my soul and the person I am when I'm not "performing" is so different and like NO ONE gets to see that part of myself unless they're family or someone I've known for like 8+ years minimum.

It's like I'm always playing a character, but not consciously.
 

conspiracy theorist

Well-known member
Hmm, your social persona perhaps? See where your ascendant ruler is? That might actually be an embedded part of who you are. How would you go about changing that side of your character so that it is more in line with your inner components? Ever thought about cinematography (whether acting or movie production)

I think I've read your chart before so I don't know if I suggested this or you stated this as one of your interests, but there it is.
 

Freya39

Well-known member
The real me, is super emotional, sensitive, deep, understanding and very spiritual...

But I hide that part of myself. And I don't know why. Almost like instinctively. And put on this act of like bubbly, superficial, crazy, etc.

Like if you met me you would NEVER know how deep, introspective and spiritual I am. But I can't help it. My "acting" part just like comes up. It's not even that I try to be someone else it just "comes up," almost like I'm guarding a part of myself, the real me and I don't know why I do it.


You have described your “Scorpio Ascendant” perfectly. Also, you have Saturn in water element in Pisces, which could show a very mature personality and compassionate towards others. An eventually separation from someone could be very intense for you. Nevertheless because Mercury is in Cancer you could collect emotional thoughts from others, you could even have ideas how to nurturing others, how to protect others.
So in my view, your sensitivity, even your spirituality comes from Scorpio Ascendant and also from water element. Also, Pluto is in his own sign in Scorpio in your 1st house and symbolically it may help you to discover the deeper layers of your personality, identity, your secret soul). Hence, Pluto may motivate you to “hide things, to hide a part of your personality”.
Additionally, without sensitivity, you may not have the full power to understand the world. Hence, you could see the word from profound lens.
Best wishes!

If you like you can check your Astrology Forecast for April 2017/ (see Scorpio Ascendant)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOvqpF4VKV4
 

ynnest

Well-known member
If you have a correct chart your midheaven leo with ruling sun in gemini could definitely explain why your social mask is bubbly while only those close to you see your scorpio ascendant. May I just ask-

Would you say you have more of a rectangular face with an intense expression in your eyes?
 

GeminiSun

Well-known member
If you have a correct chart your midheaven leo with ruling sun in gemini could definitely explain why your social mask is bubbly while only those close to you see your scorpio ascendant. May I just ask-

Would you say you have more of a rectangular face with an intense expression in your eyes?
Um, don't have a rectangular face. Kind of like a triangle face if that makes sense? lol. Strong forehead going downward to slim cheeks and to a slim jawline.

And yes, eyes are super intense.
 

ynnest

Well-known member
Um, don't have a rectangular face. Kind of like a triangle face if that makes sense? lol. Strong forehead going downward to slim cheeks and to a slim jawline.

And yes, eyes are super intense.


Your facial composition sounds like a virgo rising.
 

Alzander

Well-known member
The real me, is super emotional, sensitive, deep, understanding and very spiritual...

But I hide that part of myself. And I don't know why. Almost like instinctively. And put on this act of like bubbly, superficial, crazy, etc.

Like if you met me you would NEVER know how deep, introspective and spiritual I am. But I can't help it. My "acting" part just like comes up. It's not even that I try to be someone else it just "comes up," almost like I'm guarding a part of myself, the real me and I don't know why I do it.

I know this sounds complex and crazy but I'd love some insight on it.
I totally get where you're coming from and have a similar thing with myself in public. Deep down I'm rather shy and serious but in public with strangers I'm really approachable and friendly...almost more so than with people I know very well which is bizarre lol, maybe this is the same for you too?

It's almost like when we're out in the world it's like our stage of being in the now and unique experiences. Maybe my ascendant opposition to sun,Mercury,mars,Saturn adds to some kind of put-on front when around others but one of the major things of this is only you knowing your real self and it's rare for other people to completely understand and connect with you.

For some reason your chart isn't opening up on my device so I can't see if you have ascendant opposition or not etc....but a lot of the time your rising sign with your core sun personality etc can add fuel to this. But as much as it's a hinderence or wierd thing for you it's also a blessing in disguise really...many people struggle with being open and confident around others and even though I feel and think this way about myself I'm actually the opposite most the time and seem to always experience really spiritual and uplifting moments with other random people that bring strangers together in the moment despite not knowing eachother at all, but I suppose a lot of that is merely how I perceive it and am so dreamy and wishy-washy aha.

It's awesome that you guys have brought up the topic of appearance....as a Virgo rising I believe that I have the 'small Virgo nose' and small meticulous lips but definitely have got the piscean eyes and mind which the chart definitely justifies lol...I'm going to attach a pic of myself with this, not too bothered of privacy here really...feel free to show yourselves too....would be cool to see what other people think of my appearance...be honest and say what you think of me astrologically or anything really......will attach chart too.

Sorry if this seems like I'm hijacking the thread.....if it's frowned upon to direct discussions away from the person onto yourself then please let me know....don't want to cause any offense or come across selfish etc...thanks guys. Peace and Love Fellow Starlovers

P.S I don't want to come across vain with all the photos (I'm not exactly Johnny Depp lol) but I feel if we're discussing appearance it's good to have a variety of photos to show different angles or whatever....hopefully this can start up lots of cool discussions on astrological appearance because tbh that's one area in which I'm not so knowledgable...would be awesome to learn more about what gives me my looks astrologically speaking as well as you guys too.
 

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GeminiSun

Well-known member
I totally get where you're coming from and have a similar thing with myself in public. Deep down I'm rather shy and serious but in public with strangers I'm really approachable and friendly...almost more so than with people I know very well which is bizarre lol, maybe this is the same for you too?

It's almost like when we're out in the world it's like our stage of being in the now and unique experiences. Maybe my ascendant opposition to sun,Mercury,mars,Saturn adds to some kind of put-on front when around others but one of the major things of this is only you knowing your real self and it's rare for other people to completely understand and connect with you.

For some reason your chart isn't opening up on my device so I can't see if you have ascendant opposition or not etc....but a lot of the time your rising sign with your core sun personality etc can add fuel to this. But as much as it's a hinderence or wierd thing for you it's also a blessing in disguise really...many people struggle with being open and confident around others and even though I feel and think this way about myself I'm actually the opposite most the time and seem to always experience really spiritual and uplifting moments with other random people that bring strangers together in the moment despite not knowing eachother at all, but I suppose a lot of that is merely how I perceive it and am so dreamy and wishy-washy aha.

It's awesome that you guys have brought up the topic of appearance....as a Virgo rising I believe that I have the 'small Virgo nose' and small meticulous lips but definitely have got the piscean eyes and mind which the chart definitely justifies lol...I'm going to attach a pic of myself with this, not too bothered of privacy here really...feel free to show yourselves too....would be cool to see what other people think of my appearance...be honest and say what you think of me astrologically or anything really......will attach chart too.

Sorry if this seems like I'm hijacking the thread.....if it's frowned upon to direct discussions away from the person onto yourself then please let me know....don't want to cause any offense or come across selfish etc...thanks guys. Peace and Love Fellow Starlovers

P.S I don't want to come across vain with all the photos (I'm not exactly Johnny Depp lol) but I feel if we're discussing appearance it's good to have a variety of photos to show different angles or whatever....hopefully this can start up lots of cool discussions on astrological appearance because tbh that's one area in which I'm not so knowledgable...would be awesome to learn more about what gives me my looks astrologically speaking as well as you guys too.
Yessss. You're like such a good example of someone looking like their Sun and Rising. Like a mix. I feel like most people do.

If you look at Marilyn Monroe, full on Gemini features, beautiful Gemini teeth, jawline, etc with a hint of that Leo Ascendant.

To me your Pisces Sun dominates your Virgo Rising. Your head shape is Virgo but the size of it is small and delicate like a Pisces, with those child-like, delicate Pisces features and Pisces eyes.
 

Alzander

Well-known member
Yessss. You're like such a good example of someone looking like their Sun and Rising. Like a mix. I feel like most people do.

If you look at Marilyn Monroe, full on Gemini features, beautiful Gemini teeth, jawline, etc with a hint of that Leo Ascendant.

To me your Pisces Sun dominates your Virgo Rising. Your head shape is Virgo but the size of it is small and delicate like a Pisces, with those child-like, delicate Pisces features and Pisces eyes.
Omg thanks lol for such a detailed response, really appreciate it!

How I appear and am perceived by others is more Virgo I would say but I guess that's just in the first instances really...being the ascendant and outer shell of yourself etc.

GeminiSun, how about you? How would you describe yourself and your looks?

Peace
 

Alzander

Well-known member
Oh yeah, another thing I just thought of but not sure if it's already been mentioned as I haven't thoroughly read through the thread...

As a Gemini perhaps this is more just down to the split personality? Sorry to state the obvious but if you have a really genericly Gemini nature and personality then this could be one of the more logical reasons for how you are...as a natural communicator and talkative people person, I guess it's easy for you to put on that front with others in public and perhaps you haven't really realised it as apparent as in recent years because it comes so naturally to you.

Below is a link about your sun and moon combination of Gemini and Sagittarius...hope this provides some insight for you...quite a good little read to be fair........peace

http://universal-tao-eproducts.com/mp/files/sun-moon_gemini-sagittarius.pdf
 

ynnest

Well-known member
I have the darkest features in my family.

I could pass for a Vampire or some kind of evil 80's priest. LOL.


Then your underlying sun may affect your more narrow face shape. Its interesting to observe that you actually do come across as more open and leo than one would assume a "scorpio type" would do on this type of public forum which may again point towards the midheaven as our social mask and the ascendant more closer to our core self.


Y
 

GeminiSun

Well-known member
Omg thanks lol for such a detailed response, really appreciate it!

How I appear and am perceived by others is more Virgo I would say but I guess that's just in the first instances really...being the ascendant and outer shell of yourself etc.

GeminiSun, how about you? How would you describe yourself and your looks?

Peace
Nice teeth, average sized lips, long jaw, prominent forehead, big eyes, strong lashes, thick, dark hair with loose curls... Super long torso, long, lean, type of body. I don't know. :p My nose is thin and kind of long and I hate it. But it's not as bad as an Aries type of nose (LOL SORRY ARIES PEOPLE).
 

GeminiSun

Well-known member
Then your underlying sun may affect your more narrow face shape. Its interesting to observe that you actually do come across as more open and leo than one would assume a "scorpio type" would do on this type of public forum which may again point towards the midheaven as our social mask and the ascendant more closer to our core self.


Y
Yeah. Never really understood why people say the Ascendant is the "mask" we wear. I really resonate with my Ascendant and 1st House as a prominent part of my personality.

That Leo MC is definitely what I come across as in public and to others though, I've noticed.
 

Alzander

Well-known member
Nice teeth, average sized lips, long jaw, prominent forehead, big eyes, strong lashes, thick, dark hair with loose curls... Super long torso, long, lean, type of body. I don't know. :p My nose is thin and kind of long and I hate it. But it's not as bad as an Aries type of nose (LOL SORRY ARIES PEOPLE).
Ahahahha! Awesome! Curly dark hair? I love that. Sorry, not hitting on you but my admiration for brunettes and dark haired women will not remain hidden from this thread on the subject of appearance. Lol. Big eyes, same,,,cool....I don't know if you noticed but I have really thick and long eyelashes 'for a man' and very feminine eyes and lips. I doubt your nose is that bad or bad at all tbh...I have a small nose but the curvature of it is rather stupid...none of us are perfect and I'm sure you're beautiful.

Nice one about the teeth too! Hehe :p my teeth are a bit wonky in places but overall not too bad...and the sensitivity of them etc isn't as bad these days now that I use non-fluoride organic stuff...highly recommend it...excuse the bizarre sales pitch.

Prominent forehead? Bet that comes in handy when somebody requires a headbutt for getting on the wrong side of you.

Peace and Love fellow Starlovers.
 

ynnest

Well-known member
Nice teeth, average sized lips, long jaw, prominent forehead, big eyes, strong lashes, thick, dark hair with loose curls... Super long torso, long, lean, type of body. I don't know. :p My nose is thin and kind of long and I hate it. But it's not as bad as an Aries type of nose (LOL SORRY ARIES PEOPLE).

Are you saying that you have short legs and a long torso?
 
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