Lack of deep connection to anyone

I’ve felt the same thing as ynnest too.

The poster above who describes your mars moon Virgo conjunction of really loving to dissect people made sense to me. It sounds like a lot of pressure to analyse to such a deep extent, that during the process, the boundaries between who you are analyzing gets blurred. You relate to the person as part of the emotional process, with a Martian intensity and Virgo precision.

Then you need to withdraw because it’s so intense, you definitely relate to people, the process is just very intense for you, it can leave you feeling withdrawn and emotionless.

Lykanized said:

I was honestly curious about why you felt that way. Especially since one of the core issues here is that I feel like I don't fit in. So if I come off in such an odd way that someone would think I'm talking about someone else or someone in my imagination, then it may actually be pertinent

I've been told I sound like I should be in an insane asylum online before. But I can assure you there's no one imaginary or other than me

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I just feel that you are such an incredibly creative soul that you can like put yourself into some collective feeling or state of being and own it as it is your own. That is quite an ability and was maybe what I was aiming at in my post. But I might very well be wrong.

Y

Reminding myself to reply to this after therapy session

Another question to pose.... My 11th house has my Sun and Mercury which should be a blessing however, my mercury is retrograde and afflicted and tge ruling planet moon is afflicted as well. Possibly result in faulty functioning of the so called 'house of friends'?

Hey Lykanized, I am back.

I think the feeling of un-connectedness may be your Sun oppose Uranus and Mercury retrograde opposing Uranus. Both contributes to a feeling of being different, and also the energy itself strongly veered towards being separate -- its like a part of you is attracted to being separate from the norm as a soul imprint. Plus both being in the sign of Cancer is difficult, as its inherently attracted to closeness.

Mercury being your ruling planet, being retrograde is probably also a big deal. As its veered towards being extremely introverted in your thoughts and of course that complicates the picture.

I am also not sure if your feeling has much to do with reality though. Because first, you have to realize that pretty much all Uranian dominant people feel this way. You are not the only one. I do too, and most people I know who are heavy Uranus dominant feels the same. Second, you have a lot of friends here so you do connect with people, but perhaps just not in conventional ways of society.

I think the solution comes in twofold:

1. Look at the planet and house making a sextile-trine to that opposition, as it forms a potential solution and relief, where you can channel the energy.

With Merc-Uranus that would be your Mars in Virgo in the 1st. With Sun-Uranus that would be your Pluto in Scorpio in the 3rd. Perhaps by initiating (mars, 1st) helpfulness or detail (virgo) you can channel the communication barrier. Perhaps also by being a leader, dominant or powerful somehow (pluto, sun-pluto) in your immediate environment or communications (3rd), you can channel the energy of the Sun-Uranus to more satisfactory use.

2. It may be wise to work on being more emotionally independent. I know that sounds counter-intuitive when you crave closeness. But I don't mean cutting yourself off from others, but rather realize that you are responsible for understanding yourself and proactively find solutions that fits your well-being. At the end of the day, external things you think will satisfy you all are illusory.

If you feel like you need closeness, but you also feel a contradiction with people, perhaps you can get a pet to satisfy it? Or perhaps you can form friendships with people who have the same impulses - Uranian and water sign dominant.



Lastly, not sure if Mercury and Sun in 11th influences the house of friendship all that much. 11th is ruled by the Moon, which square Venus, yet in trine to Uranus. This also supports the premises your friendships are likely to be unconventional, and you shouldn't judge yourself by conventional parameters.

AsianSapphire said:

I have the same house grid as you're and some aspects looks familiar too when I discuss my chart with astrologer, he said that feeling of not belonging comes usually from negative aspects of Sun-Uranus.
for myself, I find it easier to talk to people when I'm doing something...like really being physically involve. Like cooking, walking, hiking, gardening...anything but not sitting in front of the other people I have Moon(11) square Pluto(3), and you have Moon(11) conjunct Mars(minor ruler of 3)

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I guess I find it easier to talk to people while doing things too, but that's only to fill in the gaps of awkward silence where I'm not sure what to say but am pretty sure I'm supposed to say something lmao. That, or to distract myself from the fact anyone is even there with me

AsianSapphire said:

The thing I call super powers is your personalized outer planets- your Pluto is super strong, you know how conquer a knowledge, you can motivate, you can find information you need…
Your Mercury opposition with Uranus and Neptune gives you great imagination, insights, intuition, make you highly intellectual, but also might give you radio in your head, trouble sleeping, anxiety, and make you adrenaline junky…

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I'll tell you this, there's immense insight and intuition, grand imagination and creativity, but hellish insomnia and anxiety. I also feel almost like I have no one place where I belong, but I belong everywhere. Indeed highly in tune with collective energy. And there is no end to the depths my mind will go to. But none of this wins me any favors with others, in fact, it makes me quite an odd creature that some people just don't want to be around

ynnest said:

I just feel that you are such an incredibly creative soul that you can like put yourself into some collective feeling or state of being and own it as it is your own. That is quite an ability and was maybe what I was aiming at in my post. But I might very well be wrong.

Y

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This is actually correct. I think it may be my Neptune, but I frequently feel as if I have a whole legion of personalities. I also find myself easily able to imagine myself in various emotional and mental states if I desire for whatever reason, almost like embodying some essence for moments at a time

Ukpoohbear said:

I’ve felt the same thing as ynnest too.

The poster above who describes your mars moon Virgo conjunction of really loving to dissect people made sense to me. It sounds like a lot of pressure to analyse to such a deep extent, that during the process, the boundaries between who you are analyzing gets blurred. You relate to the person as part of the emotional process, with a Martian intensity and Virgo precision.

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Ukpoohbear said:

Then you need to withdraw because it’s so intense, you definitely relate to people, the process is just very intense for you, it can leave you feeling withdrawn and emotionless.

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Perhaps there's some truth there... I also have a 12th house Chiron connected to my 11th house sun so I'm very much an empath, especially in terms of pain. And then Virgo and Pluto will also ask people endless questions so as to understand them on a dual level

Very much related to this which kind of hits one of my negative characteristics on the head...

Starsareround said:

Hi Lyk

I wonder if this is partly due to your propensity for deconstructing people in your life and finding them unsatisfying once you’ve performed the autopsy (so the speak)? You have an incisive mind, really beyond powerful in that way. Relentless. Moon conjunction mars in Virgo on the ascendant. I’m thinking there are strong attractions in general (not just sexual) that play out again and again in a similar way; deep attraction, relentless soul searching, fights based on mistrust and/or probing too deep too soon,some sense of an emotional core missing and then a kind of sudden disbanding or cooling off? At which point you have probably lost interest because you have seen into them and are...a bit bored? If this is the case, know that you will have to intentionally curb that impulse to dissect the interior world of people in your life. What you want is a bit of freedom and space and that compulsion brings everything to a head in relationships too soon and deprives you of the ultimate Gemini Venus ideal of playful, intellectual harmony. On the other hand, the passion you experience is tremendous, it just leaves you a bit cold in the end. It’s a pattern, one that can be altered.

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I seek to understand people on the deepest level but also connect with them on the most intimate level. So I'm very intense. I wouldn't say I ever get bored and find people unsatisfying as I find people endlessly fascinating, but the issue is that 1. if people aren't willing to let me dig deep, I might find them boring and 2. I may end up pushing too deep to places where they are broken and don't want to return. I don't do it because I want to hurt them, but actually understand and heal them. Sometimes I fear people might feel interrogated by me. My bestfriend recently complained about this and said it's like her answers are never satisfying. It is certainly relentless because I never perceive an end to what can be questioned

I also have a tendency to idealize some people who do fascinate me or pique my deep interest. Other times I may become attached to people too fast and entirely when I shouldn't and then I just push them away. But none of this has happened in a long time. I've detached myself from people for a few different reasons and one of them was because of my unhealthy boundaries. I also do have trust issues due to how I grew up, but those are starting to heal now thankfully

You're right...MY Venus in Gemini can get so deeply fascinated by a person that I idealize them, and it's very rare for me to meet people who truly fascinate me, but it can run cold. And I know that that's because this is ultimately a superficial process. What I truly crave is deep intimacy, knowing someone and loving their entire being down to the core, appreciating all their nuances and intricacies and all that makes them fascinatingly them


For the most part, I don't get easily bored of people I choose to get close to unless they refuse to go deep

Lykanized said:

Perhaps there's some truth there... I also have a 12th house Chiron connected to my 11th house sun so I'm very much an empath, especially in terms of pain. And then Virgo and Pluto will also ask people endless questions so as to understand them on a dual level

Very much related to this which kind of hits one of my negative characteristics on the head...


I seek to understand people on the deepest level but also connect with them on the most intimate level. So I'm very intense. I wouldn't say I ever get bored and find people unsatisfying as I find people endlessly fascinating, but the issue is that 1. if people aren't willing to let me dig deep, I might find them boring and 2. I may end up pushing too deep to places where they are broken and don't want to return. I don't do it because I want to hurt them, but actually understand and heal them. Sometimes I fear people might feel interrogated by me. My bestfriend recently complained about this and said it's like her answers are never satisfying. It is certainly relentless because I never perceive an end to what can be questioned

I also have a tendency to idealize some people who do fascinate me or pique my deep interest. Other times I may become attached to people too fast and entirely when I shouldn't and then I just push them away. But none of this has happened in a long time. I've detached myself from people for a few different reasons and one of them was because of my unhealthy boundaries. I also do have trust issues due to how I grew up, but those are starting to heal now thankfully

You're right...MY Venus in Gemini can get so deeply fascinated by a person that I idealize them, and it's very rare for me to meet people who truly fascinate me, but it can run cold. And I know that that's because this is ultimately a superficial process. What I truly crave is deep intimacy, knowing someone and loving their entire being down to the core, appreciating all their nuances and intricacies and all that makes them fascinatingly them


For the most part, I don't get easily bored of people I choose to get close to unless they refuse to go deep

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Thanks for the feedback. I got my kind of gut feeling that I get sometimes with charts on that one. The planets start to “talk” to me a little bit.

Starsareround said:

Thanks for the feedback. I got my kind of gut feeling that I get sometimes with charts on that one. The planets start to “talk” to me a little bit.

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That's interesting....
If it's not taxing or too much to ask, what else do they tell you?

Lykanized said:

That's interesting....
If it's not taxing or too much to ask, what else do they tell you?

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I have to wait until I have a chance to focus on it again, it can be random and unpredictable but generally if I take enough time to look at it I’m sure I’ll get something else

I haven’t forgotten Lyk- will look at your chart again now-

Here’s what I’m getting, and it’s coming through very clearly:
There are very important repeating themes in your chart, and I’m still trying to figure out how to convey the urgency of these. First of all, we know that the moon is very important here, as ruler of your sun as well as angular. That alone is enough to narrow a lot of focus there and try to understand the lessons it’s indicating, but at closer look there is so much more detail available it’s almost hard to know where to start. The moon with mars creates some trouble that gives me pause, so then I’m looking at what else is there, because clearly your moon is meant to “run” your chart...you were born during the day, with the sun above the horizon, so your Sun is quite important, but as it is in Cancer, again we are drawn to the moon. Also your moon is in mutual reception with mercury, which is a kind of working together type support available. Your moon is squaring your nodal axis, which lies along the MC/IC axis perfectly. Moon, moon, and more moon. Here’s what this all is saying to me: your family and ancestry is very important. There are complex issues that ties you to your family and also pushes you away. You can reject the lessons of your past, your family and insist on your way in life, but that will be working in cross purposes to you soul’s mission. You can easily willfully get out of control (mentally, emotionally) and lose the thread that was laid out for you by a (I think) female ancestor. When you tune in and listen, you have all of the support and guidance you need and will surprise yourself by doing something very different in life than you set out to do. Is there a foreign ancestral home you could visit? I feel like there is so much there waiting for you somehow.

****Oops need to revise one thing I got wrong, will be back soon ***


Okay all done

You're a retrograde individual so naturally introverted. That plus a 7th house Pisces, would explain why you need more intimate connections. Also Moon opposite your 7th house. The Moon is semi square your Sun in the 11th.

Also noticed that Venus is negatively aspecting your 5th house with inconjuncts, which are paradoxes and kinda hard to reach.

Seems to me that you need to work on yourself, making yourself the highest version of you that you can, and find your coven and you will be fine. You have to be comfortable with yourself in order for your expressions/energies to flow freely.

Looking at some of your placements, I'm honestly surprised you'd make such a remark that you care more about broader humanity than individuals. I have the same sun sign as you and an Aquarius moon, but I can't seem to relate to the humanitarian spirit of Aquarius. Maybe it's because it's in the house of Taurus, a much more down-to-earth sign. I am a rebel in the sense that I often refuse to follow conventions blindly, and I'm not easily swayed by the emotions of a group, but then my Cancer sun makes me an emotional and family-oriented person at heart. It can be a battle, no kidding, and I'm still trying to find that equilibrium. If I had to choose to let one sign's qualities triumph over the other, I'd definitely choose Cancer. I don't think it's hard for me to relate to people on a superficial level, but knowing me on a deeper level requires much more time especially when sometimes I don't even know myself very well. I sense that deep down you crave closeness and affection, but it takes quite a while for you to show it unless you're really sure. Virgo can be quite analytical, so you'll really be examining everything about the other person.
You have Moon in Virgo, which makes you shy, reserved, a perfectionist that doesn't just open up to anyone unless you think they've met your expectations, and those expectations, as you've mentioned, tend to be high. Your Sun and Mercury are both in the house of Aquarius, which gives them Aquarian tendencies as reflected by your love for greater humanity. Your Moon and Mercury are sextile each other, which means once you open up to someone it's not hard at all to communicate how you feel. Mercury in Cancer gives you a subjective, moody way of thinking that's all about closing the distance. The Moon conjunct Mars means you can get quite passionate, and being in Virgo you can be overly perfectionist and critical at times, which may put pressure on some people. Your Mercury's in opposition to Neptune and Pluto, which means you are likely someone who has an idealistic, perhaps overly active mind, but you might be prone to a lack of realism at times. I have heard that a personal planet aspecting Neptune gives one the desire to connect to something greater than themselves. However, due to your hard Mecury-Uranus and Mercury-Neptune contacts, when your expectations and reality don't match, you get deeply disappointed and start doubting just about everything in life. Your sun is trine Pluto, which means you likely give off a very intense vibe, everything tied to your core identity and the emotions that govern it are intensified. Combining that with Sun in the 11th house, you are indeed looking for a deep, soulful connection in all of your friendships.

I'm a noob at reading birth charts, but I think the reason why you're so detached right now is a combination of Sun and Mercury in the house of Aquarius plus the fact that you don't share yourself easily. Maybe you just need to meet the right people who can connect with you not at a shallow or superficial level, but someone who can really get inside you. And that, unfortunately, is becoming harder and harder to find.