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  #1  
Unread 11-09-2018, 02:39 AM
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Lykanized Lykanized is offline
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Lack of deep connection to anyone

I know I've made many thread already, but what's another? I'm wondering if anything in my chart might indicate why I feel such a deep, piercing lack of connection to anyone. If there's anyone I feel connected to, it's one person, and even that isn't that deep. I crave intimacy and I need it, but it's hard for me to achieve it. This is from many fronts. I have social issues(anxiety), I may feel alienated, I don't trust easily, connection for me is all or nothing, I'm very introverted and have trouble being 'in the moment'. I just feel like something's missing...

I love people as a whole, I love humanity. I may not like individuals, but I love people. I was never in tune with everyone else as I was growing up and I think I got permanently fallen away. I've tried to find ways to do things like go to parties and the such, but that's awkward. If you have no friends, then you're just trying too hard. I just find it so hard to communicate with people in the moment and I suppose I'm not a smalltalk kinda person either. I also feel detached very often. I'm either detached or very in tune with people emotionally, but it tends to more often veer into detachment

Sometimes I do it to my own self. Like I want something so deep and if it's not deep enough, I'll just say **** it and stop talking to the person because it's really not worth it anyway. I had a short bout in which I was really putting effort into socializing yet I was probably trying to hard. Even then I would flake on people a lot yet when I did get out there, I absolutely loved it whether it was a club, a festival, or a smaller get together at someone's house. I am a bit divided as a part of me loves partying and the other needs something vastly deeper

Idk, there's so many facets to this it's hard to really pinpoint what the deepest issue is. I feel that perhaps I'm just not at that point in life yet, that when I get into the place where I belong, I'll hit more of a stride in connecting, but there's no way to know for sure
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  #2  
Unread 11-09-2018, 04:11 AM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

It's funny they say the 11th house is the house of friends
Mercury and my sun are there, my MC and Venus's ruler is there, my 1st house/Mars/Moon ruler is there. It all goes back to the 11th house, but I have such deep social issues it's insane. According to the internet, I should be perfectly able to find where I belong groupwise, but I feel like I don't belong in any faction of society
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  #3  
Unread 11-09-2018, 05:50 AM
AsianSapphire AsianSapphire is offline
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Hi
You know what is interesting? You have not personalized social planets and personalized outer planets. Its like you’ve got super powers but you don’t know what to do with it in this life.
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  #4  
Unread 11-09-2018, 06:01 AM
AsianSapphire AsianSapphire is offline
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

In my opinion, 11 house represents groups of people connected by same ideas or interests not a close friends. So you wanna be a center of attention and have meaningful conversation(Pluto in 3, trine Mercury).
To be honest I’m seeing you as a motivational speaker to ones who might have problem with substance abuse or something like this. Do you have your own YouTube canal or some kind of group in social network ?
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  #5  
Unread 11-09-2018, 09:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianSapphire View Post
Hi
You know what is interesting? You have not personalized social planets and personalized outer planets. Its like youíve got super powers but you donít know what to do with it in this life.
What do you mean by personalized social and outer planets?
Also, thank you for the reply AsianSapphire
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  #6  
Unread 11-09-2018, 09:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianSapphire View Post
In my opinion, 11 house represents groups of people connected by same ideas or interests not a close friends. So you wanna be a center of attention and have meaningful conversation(Pluto in 3, trine Mercury).
To be honest Iím seeing you as a motivational speaker to ones who might have problem with substance abuse or something like this. Do you have your own YouTube canal or some kind of group in social network ?
I'm not sure I'd be so suited for motivational speaking as my affect can be quite flat or deadpan. I also don't express myself well in speaking. I'm a writer tho. When I try to speak, it's like everything falls apart or my thoughts don't really have concrete words. And I don't like being the center of attention, but I often wonder with Leo 12th house if a part of me does desire it but I just don't feel adequate for it

Anyway, makes sense that it's not about close friends so much as groups of people. Still, I feel consistently like I have no place like I just don't belong here. And I think if I did have a group of people where I felt I belonged, it might be a gateway to something deeper. Plus, a part of me wants to belong somewhere and have people I can hang out with

I'm in my first semester as an English major. Maybe that'll help. Not everyone in the program is actually a writer, but the people I've connected best with have been writers or artists in general or people who were just plain weird

Even online I feel a bit off. I've noted before here that I don't like networks of people or large social organizations, so I tend to stay on the sidelines, but I also don't feel I have a place or like I'm a part. No youtube channels, but for my sake, I may start a blog

Last edited by Lykanized; 11-09-2018 at 09:11 AM.
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  #7  
Unread 11-09-2018, 10:06 AM
santama santama is offline
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Hi,

I am not an expert but I wanted to give it a try. I, myself cannot see any specific pattern that indicates detachment from the outer world in your chart. But maybe I missed something out. I would be interested if this feeling of disconnection to others was always there or came in at some point in your life?
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  #8  
Unread 11-09-2018, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by santama View Post
Hi,

I am not an expert but I wanted to give it a try. I, myself cannot see any specific pattern that indicates detachment from the outer world in your chart. But maybe I missed something out. I would be interested if this feeling of disconnection to others was always there or came in at some point in your life?
Well, this is a complex topic for me and has many little parts feeding into it, but really it seems to me this started in childhood
I do remember when I was about 5, I was actually very social and bold, rather obnoxious socially. But that quickly dissipated. I started becoming shy and socially anxious at 6. Detachment has been possibly more of a survival mechanism than anything and I don't know quite if it started in childhood, but it may have. Either that or adolescence early on. I always had trouble fitting in. I was always awkward, out of step and different. For instance, I was gender nonconformist. Into middle school I started embracing femininity more, but I was still very very out of touch with others, what they liked, what they wore, what they watched etc.
And believe me, I tried
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  #9  
Unread 11-09-2018, 11:18 AM
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I'm very deeply introverted so I don't have a lot of energy for others. I like to have one person I'm focused on. But another part of me still wants people to hang out with and just enjoy the night even if it's not so deep. It's just that friendships take maintenance and that takes a lot from my energy reserves so I have no one to hang out with lmao

A lot about me is very conflicting. Since I'm very all or nothing and don't know how to change that, it's tough. When I meet people for the first time, I most often have little to say. Not a great conversationalist, and I'll admit most of the time I just want it ended asap so I can get back to my world. But I want friends. It's like I can't take those beginning stages and I just fail at them

When I was in the hospital I was on a med for anxiety called gabapentin and that **** opened me up. I wasn't the most social person in the world, but I didn't feel disabled

I'll add that with my family, I'll veer between insanely quiet and extremely humorous, cracking jokes, being a sarcastic little witch in good humor, having deep convos, talking about my passions. Granted, most of the time I still keep to myself, but I'm very random and quite silly with them and love to have a good time, and I know if I was the way I am with my family with others, I'd be golden

Last edited by Lykanized; 11-09-2018 at 11:23 AM.
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  #10  
Unread 11-09-2018, 11:21 AM
AsianSapphire AsianSapphire is offline
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Social and outer planet will consider personalized ( be part of psych traits then it has a major aspect from personal planet (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars) otherwise person might have problem with socialization (in case of social planets).
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  #11  
Unread 11-09-2018, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianSapphire View Post
Social and outer planet will consider personalized ( be part of psych traits then it has a major aspect from personal planet (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars) otherwise person might have problem with socialization (in case of social planets).
Thank you for the info 😊 Why do you consider this a good thing or like a superpower as you put it?
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  #12  
Unread 11-09-2018, 11:26 AM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Uggh, maybe this was futile. It's hard for me to convey the degree to which I just do not fit in with others. It sounds so childish to say such a thing given that I'm 25, but it's true
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  #13  
Unread 11-09-2018, 11:47 AM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

I have the same house grid as you're and some aspects looks familiar too when I discuss my chart with astrologer, he said that feeling of not belonging comes usually from negative aspects of Sun-Uranus.
for myself, I find it easier to talk to people when I'm doing something...like really being physically involve. Like cooking, walking, hiking, gardening...anything but not sitting in front of the other people I have Moon(11) square Pluto(3), and you have Moon(11) conjunct Mars(minor ruler of 3)
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  #14  
Unread 11-09-2018, 12:07 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

The thing I call super powers is your personalized outer planets- your Pluto is super strong, you know how conquer a knowledge, you can motivate, you can find information you need…
Your Mercury opposition with Uranus and Neptune gives you great imagination, insights, intuition, make you highly intellectual, but also might give you radio in your head, trouble sleeping, anxiety, and make you adrenaline junky…
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  #15  
Unread 11-09-2018, 01:22 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Its Virgo asc and Moon and also a nn conjunct IC...
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  #16  
Unread 11-09-2018, 02:12 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Hi Lyk

I wonder if this is partly due to your propensity for deconstructing people in your life and finding them unsatisfying once youíve performed the autopsy (so the speak)? You have an incisive mind, really beyond powerful in that way. Relentless. Moon conjunction mars in Virgo on the ascendant. Iím thinking there are strong attractions in general (not just sexual) that play out again and again in a similar way; deep attraction, relentless soul searching, fights based on mistrust and/or probing too deep too soon,some sense of an emotional core missing and then a kind of sudden disbanding or cooling off? At which point you have probably lost interest because you have seen into them and are...a bit bored? If this is the case, know that you will have to intentionally curb that impulse to dissect the interior world of people in your life. What you want is a bit of freedom and space and that compulsion brings everything to a head in relationships too soon and deprives you of the ultimate Gemini Venus ideal of playful, intellectual harmony. On the other hand, the passion you experience is tremendous, it just leaves you a bit cold in the end. Itís a pattern, one that can be altered.
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  #17  
Unread 11-09-2018, 02:31 PM
ynnest ynnest is offline
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lykanized View Post
I'm very deeply introverted so I don't have a lot of energy for others. I like to have one person I'm focused on. But another part of me still wants people to hang out with and just enjoy the night even if it's not so deep. It's just that friendships take maintenance and that takes a lot from my energy reserves so I have no one to hang out with lmao

A lot about me is very conflicting. Since I'm very all or nothing and don't know how to change that, it's tough. When I meet people for the first time, I most often have little to say. Not a great conversationalist, and I'll admit most of the time I just want it ended asap so I can get back to my world. But I want friends. It's like I can't take those beginning stages and I just fail at them

When I was in the hospital I was on a med for anxiety called gabapentin and that **** opened me up. I wasn't the most social person in the world, but I didn't feel disabled

I'll add that with my family, I'll veer between insanely quiet and extremely humorous, cracking jokes, being a sarcastic little witch in good humor, having deep convos, talking about my passions. Granted, most of the time I still keep to myself, but I'm very random and quite silly with them and love to have a good time, and I know if I was the way I am with my family with others, I'd be golden

Lykanized, with all respect I sometimes get the feeling that you are talking about another person or some one in your imagination.

Y
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  #18  
Unread 11-09-2018, 03:05 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

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Originally Posted by ynnest View Post
Lykanized, with all respect I sometimes get the feeling that you are talking about another person or some one in your imagination.

Y
While I'm still thinking about the other responses, this one came off as really odd. Why do you get that feeling? I can assure you I'm not talking about anyone but myself. If I was to talk about someone else, I'd have no reason not to say it's someone else, but I'm curious as to why you feel that way
It's also not someone in my imagination lol
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  #19  
Unread 11-09-2018, 03:24 PM
ynnest ynnest is offline
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Well I am pretty strange so maybe it is my "strangeness" that makes me write strange things.

Y
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  #20  
Unread 11-09-2018, 03:27 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

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Originally Posted by ynnest View Post
Well I am pretty strange so maybe it is my "strangeness" that makes me write strange things.

Y
I was honestly curious about why you felt that way. Especially since one of the core issues here is that I feel like I don't fit in. So if I come off in such an odd way that someone would think I'm talking about someone else or someone in my imagination, then it may actually be pertinent

I've been told I sound like I should be in an insane asylum online before. But I can assure you there's no one imaginary or other than me
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  #21  
Unread 11-09-2018, 03:33 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Iíve felt the same thing as ynnest too.

The poster above who describes your mars moon Virgo conjunction of really loving to dissect people made sense to me. It sounds like a lot of pressure to analyse to such a deep extent, that during the process, the boundaries between who you are analyzing gets blurred. You relate to the person as part of the emotional process, with a Martian intensity and Virgo precision.
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  #22  
Unread 11-09-2018, 03:35 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Then you need to withdraw because itís so intense, you definitely relate to people, the process is just very intense for you, it can leave you feeling withdrawn and emotionless.
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  #23  
Unread 11-09-2018, 03:37 PM
ynnest ynnest is offline
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

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Originally Posted by Lykanized View Post
I was honestly curious about why you felt that way. Especially since one of the core issues here is that I feel like I don't fit in. So if I come off in such an odd way that someone would think I'm talking about someone else or someone in my imagination, then it may actually be pertinent

I've been told I sound like I should be in an insane asylum online before. But I can assure you there's no one imaginary or other than me
I just feel that you are such an incredibly creative soul that you can like put yourself into some collective feeling or state of being and own it as it is your own. That is quite an ability and was maybe what I was aiming at in my post. But I might very well be wrong.

Y
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  #24  
Unread 11-20-2018, 04:24 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Reminding myself to reply to this after therapy session
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  #25  
Unread 11-20-2018, 04:30 PM
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Re: Lack of deep connection to anyone

Another question to pose.... My 11th house has my Sun and Mercury which should be a blessing however, my mercury is retrograde and afflicted and tge ruling planet moon is afflicted as well. Possibly result in faulty functioning of the so called 'house of friends'?
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