Will I ever have a sincere romantic relationship?

I'd say your Saturn return might be more pronounced. Astrology is just a hobby for me at the time so I don't have too much experience with the diversity of 1st house Saturn, my Saturn return personally was pretty difficult, to put it lightly, lol. But with all of your Scorpio energy I'd expect you to be able to evolve past difficulties with renewed strength.

Your Leo descending is what draws you to confident men. Find one with the right confidence and he'll appreciate the depth and profundity of your love as something he won't find every day.

in case helps further reflections to adapt, discuss salient feedbacks!


sat-sun lords 1/7 over pisces-libra 6/8, unfriendly lords jup-venus,
prone to conflict in relationship/marriage;

libra-venus inimical-malefic for acq asc,
sun-moon debilated libra 7th, stress-delays in marriage-relationship,
aptitude for public relations, confused wavery mind,
stormy anger when provoked,
abdominal-kidney-heart-stomach-lung-circulatory health issues;
seeking well-to-do spouse, but sun separative tendencies same time;
wear ruby+pearl over pendant touching heart;

mars 9th lord for luck over leo 6th, extra efforts needed;
mars 6th, accident prone, heart-stomach-intestinal-hip inflammations;
coping with opponents; seeking men with high self-pride etc;
jup settling for reserved, research oriented deep thinking people;

jup-venus-mer-rahu scorpio 8th,
acting skills, forensic aptitudes, anesthetics, etc,

rise-fall in life, toxic health issues urological, liver, kidneys, skin etc;
prayers for ancestors, observe fast No-moon evenings;
wear brown hessonite over pendant for debilated rahu-NNode;
not to indulge much into the occult;

jup lord 10th over scorpio 8th, career issues;
jup trine cancer 6th, protective of employment-health;

mars aspect own scorpio, debilation of rahu cancelled;
protection from major dangers;
mars aspect scorpio 9th protective of luck-edu-travels
but not good for general health of father;


ketu separative SNode over taurus 2nd,
detachment from family-finances;
hyper-energetic and stubborn; love of food-comforts;
pain-injury-surgery throat-teeth etc;

sat-ketu 1.5yr transit cap 11th now,
detachment from income-gains-friendships;
pain-injury-surgery arms-shoulders-knees-ears;
prayers for Mother Goddess, offer red flowers fri evenings;

jup now transit own sag 10th, growth through advisory roles;
jup trine mars leo 6th, supportive of health-employment-luck;

natal sat retro towards acq 12th opp mars,
stress-struggles in health-employment-foreign lands;
technical-entrepreneurial-mechanical aptitudes;
observe fast sat evenings;

moon libra compatible with moons gemini, virgo;


do promptly ack and share salient feedbacks interesting to learn of,
how true-untrue, traits-talents-health-trends-prospects etc etc


wishing well, kshantaram

Baat said:

I'd say your Saturn return might be more pronounced. Astrology is just a hobby for me at the time so I don't have too much experience with the diversity of 1st house Saturn, my Saturn return personally was pretty difficult, to put it lightly, lol. But with all of your Scorpio energy I'd expect you to be able to evolve past difficulties with renewed strength.

Your Leo descending is what draws you to confident men. Find one with the right confidence and he'll appreciate the depth and profundity of your love as something he won't find every day.

Click to expand...

I'm also kind of confused by my Saturn 1st house, Saturn in pisces and my Aquarius rising. Trying to figure it out but when I'm looking things up it links Saturn 1st house to Saturn in Aries, and Saturn in Pisces to the 12th house?
Every time I think I kind of get it, there's something new that I don't understand haha

You're definitely right on the men with confidence part, I read that being an Aquarius rising strengthens this preference.

passiflora said:

Oh that’s a lovely profession and one that seems to make sense of both Uranus-Neptune in Cap in 12th and the 6th house Mars in Leo.

Male partners can be archetypally indicated in a chart by Mars as well as by the 7th house cusp of significant others. You have Leo on 7th cusp and Mars in Leo, but Sun (and moon) in Libra, so your real type is more like you than you might think. Not someone in need of temporary healing, but someone as sensitive, attentive, creative, diplomatic, etc. as you are, and made weller than well by your presence and companionship.
Acceptance of energies is a magical tool compared to projection.
You can, paradoxically, stop to blame yourself for certain outcomes if you see how they are serving you as well.
For example: What happens when a restless soul like yourself finds the One and then - is restless? Ready to move continents?
Maybe you are just looking for not-the-one til you find more of yourself?

Click to expand...

There is definitely truth in what you just said.
I think something in the back of my mind finds it disturbing (and maybe scary) to think about the idea of being with one person again.
But I do crave the love that comes with it. It's a battle within my soul.

A lot of the times I feel like I need to hold back in my need for physical contact in the beginning of getting to know someone,
but this makes the way I act probably unnatural for the other person. I start to become really aware of what I'm doing and saying.
Mainly because previous men I've dated told me that I wanted them too bad, when that was not the case at all.
The caring and physical contact is what makes me develop really close friendships, but scares some men.
So, needing someone with the 'same' mindset is a good observation.

I'm dating someone at the moment which made me wonder why the same scenario keeps happening.
Mainly because I don't want to f*ck this up. We are alike and he also has something weird about him which I love. (smart, not so smart?)
There is a really strong telepathic connection going on now, but again, I feel like I chose to date a man who is scared of commitment. He is 32 and never had a relationship. He started opening up to me and this waterfall of words came out of his mouth (he's a gemini sun, virgo moon - also, cancer Venus). But afterwards I felt like he kind of scared himself. He does the pulling me towards him and pushing me away all over again. I probably need to be honest about this towards him.

I also read some things about having an 8th house stellium. That's also what's going on in my chart right? Does this affect my love life or more so my career?

kshantaram said:

in case helps further reflections to adapt, discuss salient feedbacks!


sat-sun lords 1/7 over pisces-libra 6/8, unfriendly lords jup-venus,
prone to conflict in relationship/marriage;

libra-venus inimical-malefic for acq asc,
sun-moon debilated libra 7th, stress-delays in marriage-relationship,
aptitude for public relations, confused wavery mind,
stormy anger when provoked,
abdominal-kidney-heart-stomach-lung-circulatory health issues;
seeking well-to-do spouse, but sun separative tendencies same time;
wear ruby+pearl over pendant touching heart;

mars 9th lord for luck over leo 6th, extra efforts needed;
mars 6th, accident prone, heart-stomach-intestinal-hip inflammations;
coping with opponents; seeking men with high self-pride etc;
jup settling for reserved, research oriented deep thinking people;

jup-venus-mer-rahu scorpio 8th,
acting skills, forensic aptitudes, anesthetics, etc,

rise-fall in life, toxic health issues urological, liver, kidneys, skin etc;
prayers for ancestors, observe fast No-moon evenings;
wear brown hessonite over pendant for debilated rahu-NNode;
not to indulge much into the occult;

jup lord 10th over scorpio 8th, career issues;
jup trine cancer 6th, protective of employment-health;

mars aspect own scorpio, debilation of rahu cancelled;
protection from major dangers;
mars aspect scorpio 9th protective of luck-edu-travels
but not good for general health of father;


ketu separative SNode over taurus 2nd,
detachment from family-finances;
hyper-energetic and stubborn; love of food-comforts;
pain-injury-surgery throat-teeth etc;

sat-ketu 1.5yr transit cap 11th now,
detachment from income-gains-friendships;
pain-injury-surgery arms-shoulders-knees-ears;
prayers for Mother Goddess, offer red flowers fri evenings;

jup now transit own sag 10th, growth through advisory roles;
jup trine mars leo 6th, supportive of health-employment-luck;

natal sat retro towards acq 12th opp mars,
stress-struggles in health-employment-foreign lands;
technical-entrepreneurial-mechanical aptitudes;
observe fast sat evenings;

moon libra compatible with moons gemini, virgo;


do promptly ack and share salient feedbacks interesting to learn of,
how true-untrue, traits-talents-health-trends-prospects etc etc


wishing well, kshantaram

Click to expand...

Hi kshantaram,

This was kind of hard to read for me as I'm still new to astrology. But I'll let you know what is true and untrue for me

Prone to conflict might be true, but it doesn't happen because of my nature to keep peace. I usually avoid conflict. It happened a lot in my teenage years though - between me and my parents. Not friendship wise.

I don't consider myself confused or wavy. I know what I want and I'm quite expressive. But my thoughts can be wavy, so maybe my unconciousness?
I'm the person who everyone will say about that I'm really confident and not insecure at all, but when I lay in bed at night I will analyze my whole day and how I responded to certain things. Got better with age though. I'm learning.

I'm a health freak. Have been very ill when I was younger. Cured myself from Lyme after 10 years, which resulted in me having digestive issues. Because of how conscious I am at the moment, I feel really good.
My lungs and digestive system are still very sensitive for stress. So half true, I would say.

Well-to-do spouse is absolutely no must for me. I do prefer an ambitious person.
I don't know if I will settle for a deep-thinking person. I do attract them - as well as creative, spiritual men. Poets, musicians and artists and healers are a pattern here.

Protection of major dangers - I have a really strong developed gut feeling. So I think that might be linked to this.

Don't know exactly what you mean with rise-fall in life. That my health goes up and down? I hope not so lol.

My mother is the one with the returning health issues. My dad grew up in the tropics and has amazingly good health for a 67 year old man.
My dad's side of the family also made me love food. Food as comfort? Not that I'm aware of. I don't gain weight easily and have always been more on the skinny side. I also don't grab food when I'm feeling sad or angry. I will practice some self care and cry all the stress out my body, usually.

I would love to hear more about the offers you mentioned.
My grandma on my dad's side was Buddhist, learned meditating from her, plus I've always been interested in spirituality and being more connected with your mind and soul.

Funny that you mentioned the gemini and virgo moon, as I just told a reply earlier that I'm dating a gemini sun, virgo moon at the moment haha.
Although I seem to attract a lot of scorpio moon and gemini moon guys. Most of the men I've dated have this as their moon combined with a taurus/aquarius sun.

The rest of the things you mentioned I don't resonate with (yet). Health wise I hopefully never will

passiflora said:

I wonder if you notice this very attitude from a guy is something you are struggling with. If they just want physical contact as a way of getting to know you and seeing if things will work out on other levels, it makes you unhappy.
Birth control may have confused current generations, but for the most part sexual intimacy is a matter of life and death, potentially binding up resources, energies, families, destinies.

Click to expand...

Now that you’ve said this I thought about it, maybe the tables have turned.
I don’t see physical contact as a sign that someone wants to be with me or should be with me though.
It’s, most of the time, the other way around. I’m a very physical person and men see that as if I want something from them.
That’s why I kind of hold back because of being scared that I might be too much at the start of getting to know someone.

But that might be the reason that I now have a problem with people being the same towards me. Because I am afraid of getting hurt.

Maybe good to mention that my dad was a very ‘cold’ person.
He showed his love through making things for me and helping me out,
But after I hit puberty he wouldn’t really cuddle me anymore or give any physical contact.
My grandpa was very cuddly and that made me feel uncomfortable at the age of 15/16. But now that I look back, it obviously made me feel uncomfortable because I wasn’t used to a man showing me affection that kind of way which wasn’t sexual.
The past 6 years I literally learned my dad to cuddle.
My mom is a very physical person as well, so the feeling of needing that physical contact was always there for me.
As I grew older the affection towards boys started to come, in stead of only friends and family.
So maybe I unconsciously find it hard to accept love from a man while I am able to give it to both men and women?

This forum post turns into a self reflection session but I actually thank you for it haha it helps me see the bigger picture.

A friend of mine has Lilith exactly on the SN. She also has a stellium in the 8th house. She had her first long lasting relationship from the age of 29. She is now in a relationship where the man’s needs and wants are the main focus. Another friend of mine has Venus on the SN and Lilith on the NN. She had her most difficult relationship when she turned 30.

I see Lilith as someone who feels rejected due to her personality. Creating equality in relationships seems difficult. Many women with a prominent Lilith have the sensation that men are interested in having a fling with them and that they are not seen as marriage material. Lilith is prominent in my family and also in the charts of my brothers girlfriends and many of my friends. I find that if you have a strongly placed Lilith, you need to find a partner who also has that. Someone who can be with Lilith.

People deal with the energy of Lilith in different ways. Some will be too accepting and they stay in bad situations. Some people turn bad. Ted Bundy had Lilith conjunct Moon and Mars opposite Uranus. Also Saturn/Pluto in the 12th square Venus. His first love was loving towards him, but then she broke up with him due to him not being confident, manly and successful. After that he made sure to develop social skills and become more successful. He contacted her after a few years and she fell in love and wanted to marry him. He went cold. He wanted to prove to himself that he could have her and then reject her like she had rejected him. A few weeks after that he began murdering women. He later said that it made him feel like he possessed him. Dead people can’t reject anyone.

In our society we have rejected the original feminine. We value traits like being outgoing, taking initiative, being a bulldozer and being successful. We divide people in different categories, some have more value than others. Feminine traits like being sensitive, introverted, intuitive, receptive, emotional and adaptable is seen as both good and weak, pathetic and strange. We are programmed to see people who allow someone to enter their body as sluts to some extent. Men are alpha males when they conquer someone’s body. Women and gay men are judged differently. People who treat others like things or like slaves are seen as strong and powerful, the ones who are used or abused are seen as weak and pathetic. When people are labelled as one of the things that people feel repelled by, that hurts. I see Lilith as the shadow side of the moon, our unconscious emotions, where we place the stuff that is not wanted in this society.

I know about one man with a prominent Lilith who has dedicated his life to saving trafficking victims.

I have Lilith on the Asc and I choose to not accept things that are not right. I give people lectures, leave, learn and heal and gradually I end up in better interactions. I crave being treated with a basic level of respect and honesty. But the process is slow and not easy. I am very idealized by men at first, then I start to act in ways that will repel them. My patterns are on repeat. I often don’t recognize this and see the man as hot cold without realizing my part in it.
I need to accept Lilith in me in order to be a match for a man who will accept me as I am. Otherwise I will continue to reject or make people reject me or be rejected due to other people’s issues. I believe that I am almost at the goal line. The last man I fell for was a really good man.

I understand your feeling of not wanting to be seen as a sex object. I believe that Lilith (rejection) and Pluto (emotional neglect, loss of some sort of lack etc) can create a hunger in people. When you direct hunger and obsession towards someone, that person will feel very desired and some like that. It has nothing to do with seeking attention in the way libra/leo would do. In order to not give off the “hungry vibe” you need to satiate the hunger in some way. Look at for example Natalie Portman. She was sexualized after the movie leon when she was still just a child. It was not her intention at all. She has Lilith on the Asc.

I advice you to look up Chiron in the 7th. That means that you see Chiron in others, but not in yourself. Some people with that placement feel like they don’t know what to do when their partner expresses Chiron, they may for example tell the person to stop being emotional and the partner can feel hurt by that. Some are saviour types who want to help their partner with their wounds. They focus on their partners wounds and not on their own. Try to think back at your exes and what issues they had. Then try to see in which way you have those issues.

According to Barbara Hand, Chiron is the key that unlocks the conscious awareness of the outer planets. That is, connecting to your pain is the key to connecting to Uranus/Neptune and balancing the opposition to Mars.