Confused about my North Node and more

Hello!
I'm attaching my chart and I was wondering if you could help me with a few issues I've been puzzled about for a long time now.
First, as you can see, I have the True Node in Taurus but the Mean Node in Gemini. So which one should I pay attention to? Also, I get confused because by having a Libra ascendant, the houses and signs in my chart contradict each other in a way. I once read that having Libra ascendant is a constant balancing act for that reason. What are your thoughts?
And what's your interpretation of my NN and just my chart overall? I've struggled all my life with issues of self-doubt especially concerning putting myself out there and being explorative in my career. (I'm not afraid to put myself out there in other areas, like traveling! In fact, I now live abroad.) I've had the same job (teaching) for 14 years, and although I really like it, I have lots of other ideas--things involving branching out on my own and giving workshops related to natural health topics, aromatherapy and that sort of thing, as well as meditation, creative visualisation, and so on. (Thanks to my Virgo Sun exactly square Neptune.) But I'm always talking myself out of it and making excuses. Plus, I tend to scatter my energy so much. I have 1,000 great ideas, but I never get around to acting on any of them. I'm also absolutely obsessed with astrology and have been studying it on my own since my teen years, but never feel confident enough in my ability to successfully interpret another person's chart adequately. I was wondering if you could tell me what career options you see for me. I've got a lot of planets that have progressed into Scorpio at this time in my life, including my Sun and Ascendant. And with my NN being in the 8th house, I feel like I should possibly focus on something Scorpio/8th house related. What do you think?
Another area of interest for me is, not surprisingly, my relationship. I've been in a relationship with a wonderful man for over 10 years and I love him a lot, but I've struggled in this area of life for a few reasons. One is that I was hesitant to commit to him fully for quite a few years (although we've lived together for most of our relationship), until last year when we did finally get married. My reasons for hesitating were because I wasn't sure if I wanted to settle down long-term in another country. Although I absolutely love living abroad, I'm very close to my family and it made me sad to think that I'd be separated long-term from them, especially now that my siblings are starting to have children and I hope to soon as well. So that was very hard to reconcile. It still is, but I've just had to accept it due to the circumstances. I mean, I DID make the decision to move away after all. So that's a delicate issue. I think it's part of my Chiron wound since Chiron is in Gemini in the 9th in my chart. At least I'm able to go home for at least a month every year, so that helps.
The other reason I hesitated was because although my husband is a wonderful person, I often get frustrated by his lack of interest in having conversations with me. I know that's a classic! I'll attach his chart too, as well as our composite and synastry charts. Hopefully, someone can shed some light on this area as well.
Any interpretation of my chart and any advice will be greatly appreciated!
Thanks a lot!

hi amethyst harmony

the composite has Jupiter conjunct the south node and venus trine to Jupiter. this is a classic aspect for marriage and it shows affection . Jupiter south node is often a sign of wealth and or/social standing.
but right off the top there are very cold and manipulated aspects also. the sun is square to orcus and venus/mercury/pluto are square to nessus.... quite frankly, these aspects are the antithesis of Venus trine to Jupiter. these are extremely abusive, selfish and mean aspects. there is not real love in this chart. Jupiter on the south node does often show marriage but Jupiter with the south node ,negatively, can be tyrannical and sadistic with the aspects this charts has. my first thought is that you have the money in this marriage . he seems to be very practical in financial matters but he makes his money by the sweat of his brow, whereas the Jupiter trine venus is more of family wealth or financial markets.also .

urnaus is square eto the node and Jupiter which shows this will not last and is headed for a divorce.the question is how did you not see his true nature... he is very dark. ero/psyche midpoint is loosely conjunct to juiter so , I can see he was likley extremely romantic but,it seems he was afer moneya nd not love. without looking at his chart , the is not sincere or loving but selfish and ambitious.
in addition with Neptune square to Saturn and mar , he never told you everything about himself as this shows he is deceptive and likely lied to you about a lot of things.
with the Uranus/sun midpoint conjunct to ixion, there is a potential for violence. I weld think that he would be very threatening to you if you told him you want divorce.. with the satrun/mrs midpoints conjunct to Venus/Pluto/mercury , I think he could be violent . so if you are thinking of making changes, set it up on the sly and try to make a complete break and don't let him charm you.

one thing about his chart is that the node is on his ascendant.... this is aspect of psychic abilities. what this indicates is that he is capable of "controlling your thoughts. o even if you have a idea, he can change you mind. you might have notice how hen you are away from his you ideas become valid again but around him he can mold you thoughts.

in you chart you seem to have some personalities that play into his control of you.
your moon is conjunct to orcus and square to Sedna and square to the Pluto/Saturn midpoint and opposed to psyche. this really looks like you father was a very destructive influence and might have had.....unnatural feelings for you. this is also indicated by the vertex opposed to venus/pluto. this also very abusive aspect, at the minimum emotionally abusive.
you sun/Neptune midpoint is also conjunct to Saturn so again, a authority figure around you was very deceptive, this aspect tend to show that alcohol might have been a problem in your life or that currently you might drink to excess at times. I would expect your husband to also have alcoholic issues.
at it seems is that, you fell for your husband because he subconsciously reminds you of your father's energies which is why you did not see your husband dark side...
rahu