Super emotional... Why do I always attract unavailable men?

GeminiSun

Well-known member
Venus square Ur/Nep is rather weak by orb in your chart. I'd also make sure to take a look at the Angular Leo Mars conjunct Chiron.
Good observation. I am a very wounded person and have been through a lot! The last 11 years have been hell! But I've grown and learned so much and overcame things that I literally thought would end up "doing me in." But yeah, trust issues, bigggg time. And it *****. Apart of me knows that I am kind of being really hard with this guy because so many people date a bunch of others before like committing to someone and falling in love. But my emotions or insecurity or horrible ego or whatever you want to honestly call it, like it is so intense with me when it comes to romantic connections that the thought of him even having a genuine connection with somebody else is enough for me to like run no matter how much potential I see in us. And it's immature. It *****. But that's how I am. But apart of me feels like I am making such a huge mistake! But I don't know. Ugh. And I also read that Jupiter is transiting my North Node and any major decisions I make will affect the rest of my life. And I don't know if this guy could be like someone who can be really special in my future. Anyway, sorry for ranting.
 

katydid

Well-known member
Good observation. I am a very wounded person and have been through a lot! The last 11 years have been hell! But I've grown and learned so much and overcame things that I literally thought would end up "doing me in." But yeah, trust issues, bigggg time. And it *****. Apart of me knows that I am kind of being really hard with this guy because so many people date a bunch of others before like committing to someone and falling in love. But my emotions or insecurity or horrible ego or whatever you want to honestly call it, like it is so intense with me when it comes to romantic connections that the thought of him even having a genuine connection with somebody else is enough for me to like run no matter how much potential I see in us. And it's immature. It *****. But that's how I am. But apart of me feels like I am making such a huge mistake! But I don't know. Ugh. And I also read that Jupiter is transiting my North Node and any major decisions I make will affect the rest of my life. And I don't know if this guy could be like someone who can be really special in my future. Anyway, sorry for ranting.

Then maybe you shouldn't close all the doors to him?

I mean, if he is not certain yet, that you are the one, that doesn't mean he is an awful person. Guys can be dense.

I knew I was going to marry my husband the day I met him, but it took him a year or so to figure it out himself.

Maybe you pull back but keep the option open, if he wants to talk again?
 
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GeminiSun

Well-known member
Then maybe you shouldn't close all the doors to him?
I know, I know. It's such a struggle. But I am so scared to fully trust him now. I really need to like just go somewhere and recharge and think about everything. But there is such an intense connection. It's so weird because I was not looking for this at all or expecting it and it hits me in the face and something is telling me that I should just pursue it. But gosh.
 

katydid

Well-known member
Jupiter transiting the North Node is begging you to STRETCH, reach high, elevate yourself, break through old barriers, reach above your comfort zone.

Don't punish him if he wasn't really breaking any rules. You were not exclusive, and he is still figuring things out.

Maybe you will get hurt. That is ALWAYS a possibility. But nothing ventured nothing gained. :innocent:

It is just that I think you may come to emotional conclusions 2quicker then many people do. You just know that you and he are totally connected and could be right for each other. But HE doesn't know that yet, for sure. Give him a chance to catch up. :happy:
 

GeminiSun

Well-known member
I knew I was going to marry my husband the day I met him, but it took him a year or so to figure it out himself.

Maybe you pull back but keep the option open, if he wants to talk again?
But the problem with this whole thing is I want him to fight for me! He knows I know because I got really annoyed and I know I hurt his feelings and cut him off. I did a tarot reading with my neighbor and she told me that I am giving off this energy of some "Queen of whatever" (swords or gosh remembers) vibe that is like really intense and strong but secretly like super emotional and this "guard" I've put up after these revelations maybe scared him off into thinking there's like no hope. I really like went in. And I must say, I am quite the actor and I show no signs of being hurt at all. It makes so much sense.
 

GeminiSun

Well-known member
Jupiter transiting the North Node is begging you to STRETCH, reach high, elevate yourself, break through old barriers, reach above your comfort zone.

Don't punish him if he wasn't really breaking any rules. You were not exclusive, and he is still figuring things out.

Maybe you will get hurt. That is ALWAYS a possibility. But nothing ventured nothing gained. :innocent:

It is just that I think you may come to emotional conclusions 2quicker then many people do. You just know that you and he are totally connected and could be right for each other. But HE doesn't know that yet, for sure. Give him a chance to catch up. :happy:
Good advice. Thank you. I will work on this.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
"And it's immature. It *****. But that's how I am."
Everyone has room for growth and maturity.
Try to really evaluate your reactions, decide if you like them, and then decide to change or not.
If you want to remain what you yourself call immature, that's ok too. But if you decide to evolve, do it, and work on yourself, not on him. Your relationships will fall into place once you are on the right track.
"I can never be one of those people who share intimate moments with someone while getting to know them."
Why would you want to be intimate with someone you are still getting to know? Think about this carefully.
You have a lot of potential and value as a person, when you feel like crying in the shower, flip over to your positive side, think positive and constructive things about yourself, write them down when you are feeling positive and re-read them when you are feeling down.
You can do it. You just have to want to do it.
 

GeminiSun

Well-known member
"And it's immature. It *****. But that's how I am."
Everyone has room for growth and maturity.
Try to really evaluate your reactions, decide if you like them, and then decide to change or not.
If you want to remain what you yourself call immature, that's ok too. But if you decide to evolve, do it, and work on yourself, not on him. Your relationships will fall into place once you are on the right track.
"I can never be one of those people who share intimate moments with someone while getting to know them."
Why would you want to be intimate with someone you are still getting to know? Think about this carefully.
You have a lot of potential and value as a person, when you feel like crying in the shower, flip over to your positive side, think positive and constructive things about yourself, write them down when you are feeling positive and re-read them when you are feeling down.
You can do it. You just have to want to do it.
Thank you! I know I am coming off very petty, annoying and immature but I just want to be honest about how I feel and what I struggle with. I have been backstabbed and betrayed in the worst ways by people in my life that I never, ever would have suspected. So trusting is very, very hard for me, especially when it comes to romantic situations because once I'm fully in, I'm ALL in. That Venus Sextile Saturn is like me. I want to love. I want to be there. I want to grow with a person, make it work, give my all, be of service. So to like agree to put myself out there like that and jump in with everything I offer to be like rejected or maybe not get what I thought I would out of it would be extremely difficult for me. But now is the time to I guess just jump.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
But now is the time to I guess just jump.

Seems that you're getting some conflicting advice. Are you really ready to just jump? There's nothing wrong with respecting your own feelings. In fact, you need to do that.

If you're someone who really needs commitment from others to be comfortable being romantically intimate with them, you need to honor that in yourself. Recognizing that other people usually approach it differently doesn't mean their approach is more valid than yours. People don't all have the same desires regarding what gender to date or what kinds of sexual acts they prefer. People don't all have the same desires regarding when and how to commit, either.

Seems like we need more specific dating signals. Not just, I'm this gender seeking that gender, but I want to get to know you as friends before being romantic, vs I want to be romantic but keep my options open (and every other shade that people might want).

Jupiter on your north node may be a signal to stretch, but that doesn't mean deny your own needs. The stretch might instead be giving your own needs their rightful place, while recognizing that they're different from many other people's.

You're also stretching yourself in many other ways right now. If you need to set romance aside for now to focus on the other ways you're stretching, that's fine, too.
 

katydid

Well-known member
Seems that you're getting some conflicting advice. Are you really ready to just jump? There's nothing wrong with respecting your own feelings. In fact, you need to do that.

If you're someone who really needs commitment from others to be comfortable being romantically intimate with them, you need to honor that in yourself. Recognizing that other people usually approach it differently doesn't mean their approach is more valid than yours. People don't all have the same desires regarding what gender to date or what kinds of sexual acts they prefer. People don't all have the same desires regarding when and how to commit, either.

Seems like we need more specific dating signals. Not just, I'm this gender seeking that gender, but I want to get to know you as friends before being romantic, vs I want to be romantic but keep my options open (and every other shade that people might want).

Jupiter on your north node may be a signal to stretch, but that doesn't mean deny your own needs. The stretch might instead be giving your own needs their rightful place, while recognizing that they're different from many other people's.

You're also stretching yourself in many other ways right now. If you need to set romance aside for now to focus on the other ways you're stretching, that's fine, too.

Just to clarify, I never suggested anyone jump blindly into something,' ignoring 'their own feelings.

My suggestion was to try and sort out the dual, conflicting messages that someone with Venus square Neptune and Venus square Uranus can be receiving.

In my experience, with friends who have that dual square, there can be some inner confusion which leads to relationship difficulties. It is hard to get a relationship off the ground because the Venus/Neptune side can catch really strong feelings very quickly. But then the Venus/Uranus can cut things off suddenly when they don't feel the feelings are being equally returned.

It can become a vicious cycle. So my suggestion was to try and find a balance. Of course he shouldn't let himself be led on or taken advantage of. But there is also value in taking some more time, and allowing the other person time to see if he is also catching the same feelings. Patience is a virtue when we have Venus/Uranus challenges. :innocent:
 
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