Dear All,
I am going through the most important phase of my life: marriage and career. Both of these two important decisions are tied to each other. It is very difficult for me to take a firm decision in my life now. I am getting weaker every day. As a good student, I have had huge expectations from my family and friends, to do well in making a career. I was putting a lot of importance on building a solid career in engineering research, until December 2010. Then it took an unexpected turn, ever since my life has been a mess. No control whatsoever. This is how my story goes from Dec/2010 - present...
I came across a girl on an Indian matrimony site and we got along great and her parents were overwhelmed with my proposal. At the same time my father thought her family background is very mediocre, and they might not be an ideal match for my family. I defied such assumption of my father, because I started to like the girl. After a few months, the girl’s parents lost interest on me, and started to look elsewhere (Yes, it is arranged marriage in India). I also lost touch with the girl until May 2011. Then one day again, I felt she is the right one for me. She also had similar feelings, but never expressed me directly. One indication was that she was holding off her marriage with any other guy. While all this emotional fall out was happening, I was working as a researcher at Cornell University, USA. I felt the urge to come back home and calm down the situation, may be try to convince my father that she is the one I want to marry. Without much thought, or planning, or elaborating the situation to my boss at Cornell, I rushed home in June 2011. All of us from my side including myself made a visit to the girl’s home. The girl had come down to her home for a few days. This is the first time we saw each other face to face, although we have been interacting for last 7 months. She was just the way I was expecting her to be. Now, after family-family meeting the girl’s parents were not impressed with my father’s behavior. So…officially the marriage is off. I was literally crying. This made me so weak that I lost interest to go back to USA and resume my job. One more bad incident happened during this time, my US visa expired, and I could not return to USA for next 5 weeks. I was getting job threatening emails from my Boss at Cornell. Eventually when I got back and resumed my job, I received the termination letter. So, I lost the girl and I lost the job in a span of 6 weeks. How low I can go in my life. I was really depressed. I did not have the courage and motivation to look for another job in USA, because the thought of losing the girl was haunting me. Few weeks passed, then one day, I got a call from the girl’s parents and that they were interested on my proposal. Big relief! Then suddenly I decided to go back home (India), find a job and marry her as early as possible. I was not prepared to take a job in India (I have lived in North America for last 8 years). Eventually I returned to India in October/2011. I landed myself a research scientist job with the Government of India. New problems loomed. Neither the girl nor her parents like this place where I am doing my current job. This is an industrial town, with lot of pollution, dust, etc (yes, even in Indian living standards this town would come in the bottom of the list in terms of cleanliness). The girl’s parents want me to find a job in the city where the girl is working. So, my marriage is again on the hold. This is where I am right now. I am also trying my best to find a job in Bangalore and move out. I am given another 3-4 months to do so. I must say there is nothing wrong in this job that I am doing, there is lot of scope to grow, salary is good, but the location is a problem. Based on this, I am hitting another low in my life. I am getting restless and I am mentally very disturbed. I can’t work properly, I can’t think properly.
Please read my chart and tell me your observations. Do I have a peaceful life ahead? I am 33 now, single and still not settled in life. Please help.
2011 was the roughest year of my life. Hope there is more peace in the coming year. Happy New Year to you all.
Best Regards,
Karma
I am going through the most important phase of my life: marriage and career. Both of these two important decisions are tied to each other. It is very difficult for me to take a firm decision in my life now. I am getting weaker every day. As a good student, I have had huge expectations from my family and friends, to do well in making a career. I was putting a lot of importance on building a solid career in engineering research, until December 2010. Then it took an unexpected turn, ever since my life has been a mess. No control whatsoever. This is how my story goes from Dec/2010 - present...
I came across a girl on an Indian matrimony site and we got along great and her parents were overwhelmed with my proposal. At the same time my father thought her family background is very mediocre, and they might not be an ideal match for my family. I defied such assumption of my father, because I started to like the girl. After a few months, the girl’s parents lost interest on me, and started to look elsewhere (Yes, it is arranged marriage in India). I also lost touch with the girl until May 2011. Then one day again, I felt she is the right one for me. She also had similar feelings, but never expressed me directly. One indication was that she was holding off her marriage with any other guy. While all this emotional fall out was happening, I was working as a researcher at Cornell University, USA. I felt the urge to come back home and calm down the situation, may be try to convince my father that she is the one I want to marry. Without much thought, or planning, or elaborating the situation to my boss at Cornell, I rushed home in June 2011. All of us from my side including myself made a visit to the girl’s home. The girl had come down to her home for a few days. This is the first time we saw each other face to face, although we have been interacting for last 7 months. She was just the way I was expecting her to be. Now, after family-family meeting the girl’s parents were not impressed with my father’s behavior. So…officially the marriage is off. I was literally crying. This made me so weak that I lost interest to go back to USA and resume my job. One more bad incident happened during this time, my US visa expired, and I could not return to USA for next 5 weeks. I was getting job threatening emails from my Boss at Cornell. Eventually when I got back and resumed my job, I received the termination letter. So, I lost the girl and I lost the job in a span of 6 weeks. How low I can go in my life. I was really depressed. I did not have the courage and motivation to look for another job in USA, because the thought of losing the girl was haunting me. Few weeks passed, then one day, I got a call from the girl’s parents and that they were interested on my proposal. Big relief! Then suddenly I decided to go back home (India), find a job and marry her as early as possible. I was not prepared to take a job in India (I have lived in North America for last 8 years). Eventually I returned to India in October/2011. I landed myself a research scientist job with the Government of India. New problems loomed. Neither the girl nor her parents like this place where I am doing my current job. This is an industrial town, with lot of pollution, dust, etc (yes, even in Indian living standards this town would come in the bottom of the list in terms of cleanliness). The girl’s parents want me to find a job in the city where the girl is working. So, my marriage is again on the hold. This is where I am right now. I am also trying my best to find a job in Bangalore and move out. I am given another 3-4 months to do so. I must say there is nothing wrong in this job that I am doing, there is lot of scope to grow, salary is good, but the location is a problem. Based on this, I am hitting another low in my life. I am getting restless and I am mentally very disturbed. I can’t work properly, I can’t think properly.
Please read my chart and tell me your observations. Do I have a peaceful life ahead? I am 33 now, single and still not settled in life. Please help.
2011 was the roughest year of my life. Hope there is more peace in the coming year. Happy New Year to you all.
Best Regards,
Karma