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  #26  
Unread 05-23-2020, 09:09 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes


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  #27  
Unread 05-23-2020, 09:11 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #28  
Unread 05-24-2020, 05:24 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Well, thats me in hospital 😩😭😭😫
This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be one big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup, the horse was then going like the clappers with me on the ground with my foot stuck in the stirrup. The horse just would not stop it was out of control I've never known anything like it.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins so I wouldn't try to ride the machine again........
How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did, copy and paste for someone else to get a laugh!
We certainly need a laugh.🤣😁😆
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  #29  
Unread 05-24-2020, 05:53 PM
david starling david starling is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
Well, thats me in hospital 😩😭😭😫
This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be one big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup, the horse was then going like the clappers with me on the ground with my foot stuck in the stirrup. The horse just would not stop it was out of control I've never known anything like it.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins so I wouldn't try to ride the machine again........
How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did, copy and paste for someone else to get a laugh!
We certainly need a laugh.🤣😁😆
What were you wearing?
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  #30  
Unread 05-24-2020, 06:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david starling View Post
What were you wearing?
Riding gear, of course! Tassels included
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  #31  
Unread 05-24-2020, 08:52 PM
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Smile Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
Riding gear, of course! Tassels included
Sidesaddle?
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  #32  
Unread 05-25-2020, 04:31 AM
david starling david starling is online now
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Smile Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Tried the joke out on a few people. Problem is, they either never saw one of those rides or even heard of them, or they had forgotten about them.

Here's a trick we used to do when we were young kids without a quarter:
Unplug the ride, wait until some parents put a coin in for their kid and assumed it was malfunctioning, and left. Then plug it back in and get a free ride.
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  #33  
Unread 05-25-2020, 12:58 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Oh no luck, I can just imagine the awkward pause where the person doesnít understand the joke

That is so sad to think an adult would have forgotten about the coin rides I remember Thomas tank engine ones lol and for a while, the 3d simulator rides were popular, where you would go in and watch say a rollercoaster movie and the machine would move about. Brilliant!!

And I canít believe you would be so tricky to steal coins from the machines!!
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  #34  
Unread 05-25-2020, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
Oh no luck, I can just imagine the awkward pause where the person doesnít understand the joke

That is so sad to think an adult would have forgotten about the coin rides I remember Thomas tank engine ones lol and for a while, the 3d simulator rides were popular, where you would go in and watch say a rollercoaster movie and the machine would move about. Brilliant!!

And I canít believe you would be so tricky to steal coins from the machines!!
It was tricky Ricky's idea. I just went along for the ride!
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  #35  
Unread 05-26-2020, 06:07 PM
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Red face Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Herd immunity theory (I find it an odd experiment, but here's a joke):

A group of 6 young, healthy people were walking down the street, when they see a Coronavirus gang intimidate an elderly couple, a pregnant woman and an immune-compromised man up against the wall, the group decides to take action.

"OK, we're able to take this, what we do is absorb the virus, herd immunity is when 60% of the country is exposed, and the disease can go away. Lets do it".

6 of these young, healthy people stand in front of the vulnerable, and the virus gang realizes it's not doing anything to them, then the virus gang vanishes.

The four vulnerable people thanked the youngins for protecting and defending them. The reply "You're welcome, now you can go on with life just like us".

(I recommend wearing masks, washing hands, social distancing and most of all, a vaccine to eradicate a disease first, stay-at-home as much as possible too).
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  #36  
Unread 05-28-2020, 10:27 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #37  
Unread 05-28-2020, 10:27 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #38  
Unread 05-28-2020, 10:28 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #39  
Unread 05-28-2020, 02:06 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
Well, thats me in hospital 😩😭😭😫
This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be one big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup, the horse was then going like the clappers with me on the ground with my foot stuck in the stirrup. The horse just would not stop it was out of control I've never known anything like it.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins so I wouldn't try to ride the machine again........
How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did, copy and paste for someone else to get a laugh!
We certainly need a laugh.🤣😁😆
dammm you did fool me hahahaha! the picture of a grown up riding a little colorful horse hahaha xD some of them are white with pink eyes hahaha

hey bill gates is now a covid expert at least his known for spreading operating systems prone to viruses! close enough for me! i trust this guy maybe if i side with him he will give me a bill - billion hope so, but doubt it , haha nah this guy is good hes making vaccines for a while hope this all is over fast, but this covid jokes are really good XD thanks for sharing
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  #40  
Unread 05-29-2020, 05:33 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Glad you like them. Bill Gates does indeed have experience in spreading viruses!
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  #41  
Unread 05-31-2020, 05:00 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ukpoohbear View Post
Glad you like them. Bill Gates does indeed have experience in spreading viruses!
of course he does

this thread is funny i hope i meet some toiler paper special person some of this days hahah wtf

hey why did the chicken stop crossing the road?

because was out of breath because he eated bat soup hihihi yumm yumm and got sick with coronabeerus

god bless bats i would never wish bad on nobody much less the bats my best friends the bats and the viruses hope them the best of lucks spread love no joke aint nobody mad
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  #42  
Unread 05-31-2020, 05:46 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

I saw this and thought it was funny, although its not Corona related, unless I title it, 'British lockdown,'

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  #43  
Unread 06-04-2020, 12:46 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #44  
Unread 06-04-2020, 12:47 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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  #45  
Unread 06-04-2020, 12:47 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

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There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious" - Carl Jung
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  #46  
Unread 06-14-2020, 02:33 AM
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Talking Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Pick-up line during the pandemic:

"Hi babe, I have antibodies" (shows my WHO immunity passport given to survivors of epidemic diseases in many countries for decades).

A woman replies: "OH baby, take me, take me now".

Well, at least I can't spread it nor get it from others.
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  #47  
Unread 06-14-2020, 10:14 AM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Did you hear the joke about how to get rid of Corona?

Its a riot
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  #48  
Unread 06-14-2020, 10:23 AM
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Smile Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by eekndyn View Post
Did you hear the joke about how to get rid of Corona?

Its a riot
Boogaloo style!
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  #49  
Unread 06-14-2020, 11:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eekndyn View Post
Did you hear the joke about how to get rid of Corona?

Its a riot
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  #50  
Unread 06-15-2020, 10:49 PM
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Re: Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

In the not-so-distant future:

I wake up with common cold/flu symptoms.

"Is this COVID?" I say to myself.

Walks to the kitchen table where an at home COVID-19 test kit is ready for use.

After a minute of a saliva swab on the test kit...it turns out negative.

"Whew...it's just a cold".

Looks at the Nyquil cold, flu and COVID-19 formula aside the test kit.

Then, I receive a SMS from my grocery store job announced a COVID-19 vaccine is ready for limited groups of people, including "essential" store workers.

"I'm there!"

(a hopeful humorous post, but we need to look forward to the future we have).
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