When will this complicated relationship end?

All the very best to you ! Hope you marry a nice guy who will value you . I wont be surprised if your friend marries someone after you cut the cord. This might shock him into doing that. Thats the way life is.. Wishing you luck .

Thanks Rohini for your best wishes

My darling, time heals everything. If you cry your heart out until there's nothing else left inside, you will heal. But before reaching the healing point, you'll have to deal with it. There is no other way, you can't skip steps in this process.
But if you are determined and do the right things and are not weak again, you will do something better for your heart. Will let it open for the one who truly deserves you. We have a saying, 'the wheel always turns around', which means, it will always come your time to receive/pay, depending on what you did, because 'the wheel is round' and it always turns.

So, cry. As much as you can. Release the tension. Everything will be fine, you'll see !

3 years have passed, heidy26. Time should start healing now. I still cry, sometimes a lot, sometimes less but I do cry, still. Its funny! Pain demands to be felt. Love gave me pain, love should bring happiness now.

I haven't talked to him since a month now. I hope I am doing right now?

You are right, what goes around, comes back around

Thank you for your kind words. Much needed.

ScorpAsc5 said:

3 years have passed, heidy26. Time should start healing now. I still cry, sometimes a lot, sometimes less but I do cry, still. Its funny! Pain demands to be felt. Love gave me pain, love should bring happiness now.

I haven't talked to him since a month now. I hope I am doing right now?

You are right, what goes around, comes back around

Thank you for your kind words. Much needed.

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Love does not bring pain. Delusions bring pain. The absence of love brings pain. Fear brings pain. Trust me.
But you are right, pain demands to be felt in order for the healing to begin. Let go of him and everything will be ok. You can do this.

Yup, I am trying everything to let him go. Lat night all drunk, I just wanted to talk him but I did not call or message him once even when my friends forced me a lot to do so. I did talk about him a lot, crying and abusing him, laughing how stupid he is that he is letting go of a woman who can move mountains for him but all he want is to date bimbos. I deleted his contact in mid November and I just wanted to stick with my decision that I will not initiate any conversation with him again, what so ever. I think its a small victory for me.

This is so good. You just do in it small steps, but hold the line: no contact.

ScorpAsc5 said:

Yup, I am trying everything to let him go. Lat night all drunk, I just wanted to talk him but I did not call or message him once even when my friends forced me a lot to do so. I did talk about him a lot, crying and abusing him, laughing how stupid he is that he is letting go of a woman who can move mountains for him but all he want is to date bimbos. I deleted his contact in mid November and I just wanted to stick with my decision that I will not initiate any conversation with him again, what so ever. I think its a small victory for me.

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Hi scorpasc,

I couldn't help but respond to this. It was around November last year that I sincerely doubted getting over a guy who was like a soulmate. He instinctively knew what I felt, got into my innermost being, so much so, I thought the universe had brought us together. But it wasn't so.
I cried every evening, I think, hoping and hoping when I would get over him. And I assure the no contact plan works. No cheating though, that will bring you to where you started.
I don't know how but one day I woke feeling yes, I am ok now, I can do without talking to him. There are false alarms, morning I would be OK, afternoon I'd think about him, by evening, crying and **** like that. But I finally got over him. And the Syrain crisis and reading HONY stories, I got a fresh perspective. We all need a sort of wake up call sometimes, to look at the bigger picture, you know? Or like an outsider.
I. Needed. To. Feel. Gratitude. For everything I had. I had to count my blessings. Blogging helped. Writing poems did too. You might want to try it.

Loads of love,
Amie.

Amie,

My best wishes are with you. Yep that's what me and my friend were talking yesterday. I believe person towards whom you gravitate repeatedly, is your soulmate. Yes I did try to not go back to him again but I did multiple times. He is my soulmate? Seems like it! Lot's of friends came in and went away but I only gravitate towards him. My friend asked, what if your soulmate does not find a soulmate in you? I said, that's life! That's where I need to learn how to live it.

I just need lots of strong power to keep up my "no contact" decision intact. I broke this decision before 7-8 times but if I did this time also, its impact would be more severe than before.

I write on twitter, to let all the emotions go out from my mind through my hands but I have hidden my account so that no one else could read it. I still cry though, I cried to sleep yesterday, today before office also I cried. I hope this time it is the end forever.

In 2013, I made my mind perfectly that in no way I would be around you and I am ending things but he did not let me go. He did everything he could that time to make me stay. Maybe that's why I could not leave as I was seeing his efforts. But hey, he is not doing anything to stop me to leave. It should give me another reason to not contact him for anything. But I still wish him all the happiness of life, may he get love back from the person he seeks, unlike me

Thank you Amie for sharing your experience.

On Christmas, he sent me a Christmas in NYC picture to which I did not reply.

Then yesterday he again texted me that it is extremely weird to talk to me now. I haven't said anything yet. Its extremely heart breaking to see something ending so brutally which was so beautiful once upon a time.

I told you before, he reappears all the time, again and again.

ScorpAsc5 said:

On Christmas, he sent me a Christmas in NYC picture to which I did not reply.

Then yesterday he again texted me that it is extremely weird to talk to me now. I haven't said anything yet. Its extremely heart breaking to see something ending so brutally which was so beautiful once upon a time.

I told you before, he reappears all the time, again and again.

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Thanks for updating and stay strong. Let us support you in caring for yourself.

This end, his sending you a Christmas in NYC picture to which you did not reply, is not brutal. It is not brutal that he said it is extremely weird to talk to you now. Your unrequited relationship with him these last few years strikes me as much more brutal and callous than what you are describing here.

What is going on is now painful; and it is simply the way that things may end.

I am truly wishing you the best and hope you can stay the course.

ScorpAsc5 said:

On Christmas, he sent me a Christmas in NYC picture to which I did not reply.

Then yesterday he again texted me that it is extremely weird to talk to me now. I haven't said anything yet. Its extremely heart breaking to see something ending so brutally which was so beautiful once upon a time.

I told you before, he reappears all the time, again and again.

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He is missing the ego boost that he gets from having you around and admiring/loving him, even though he does not care about you the same way. He doesn't see the harm he does to you by wanting to stay in touch. I suggest you block his email address if possible. Cut off the ties completely. And stay strong!

Hope this new year will bring better things for you!

Thank you ladies for making me strong But I know its still not over, will be.

I am pathetically heart broken. Please help me. I am unable to focus on anything. I am unable to come back to my senses. Yesterday I blocked him from everywhere, because whenever I see his contact, it initializes my hands to talk to him which is dangerous to break my pledge. Why am I behaving so stupid that I am letting this situation dominate me No other man wants to get closer to me because of this situation. I have started hating men in a sense that I might not let me making a connection with them emotionally. I don't want to get married forcefully. I am not doing good.

ScorpAsc5 said:

I am pathetically heart broken. Please help me. I am unable to focus on anything. I am unable to come back to my senses. Yesterday I blocked him from everywhere, because whenever I see his contact, it initializes my hands to talk to him which is dangerous to break my pledge. Why am I behaving so stupid that I am letting this situation dominate me No other man wants to get closer to me because of this situation. I have started hating men in a sense that I might not let me making a connection with them emotionally. I don't want to get married forcefully. I am not doing good.

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Just hold this course. You are where you need to be, bad as it feels. Just focus on how your body feels and do not think: about him, about other men, about how bad you feel. Just FEEL it. It will pass in a few hours or a few days. But you must not keep letting thoughts spin in your head. All these different stories. Concentrate only on how your body feels.

You are doing a really good and really difficult thing here. Hold the line and do not think. Thinking as you are doing right now is your enemy.

ScorpAsc5 said:

I am pathetically heart broken. Please help me. I am unable to focus on anything. I am unable to come back to my senses. Yesterday I blocked him from everywhere, because whenever I see his contact, it initializes my hands to talk to him which is dangerous to break my pledge. Why am I behaving so stupid that I am letting this situation dominate me No other man wants to get closer to me because of this situation. I have started hating men in a sense that I might not let me making a connection with them emotionally. I don't want to get married forcefully. I am not doing good.

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Please seek professional help as we all are limited in how much we can help you online. You need to talk to a professional counsellor/psychologist to figure things out. Go to a local doctor and then they can transfer you to someone who is right for you.

Also if you have any hobbies that you have neglected for a while, get engaged with that. Maybe painting, or join the gym, hiking, pottery, cooking, also writing is all good. Writing especially is good, start on a journal and write down your thoughts, what you would like to say to him and keep writing. I find when I'm worried about something, writing down my thoughts helps me release tension. It might help you too.

And please do seek professional help, at least a few sessions.

hugs to you

Hi ScorpAsc5!

I am of the opinion that ' Soul Mate' is a person who teaches you karmic lessons .. need not necessarily be your life partner. Let him go. The lessons that he learns from you might make him a better man for the next girl he loves.. brutal truth. You have someone else waiting for you , who may not be so deeply connecting.. but who makes you feel comfortable. You are doing him a favour by not responding, as he needs to learn his lessons.He may realise this later in life. Stay strong.Focus on yourself.

Thanks. There was a time when I used to hate him for what he was, but then I started feeling for him and now I am trying to have nothing for him. I must succeed. I hope I do.

Thanks for your time and support.

Please let us know how you are doing and do come back to the forum whenever you are in need of support. You CAN do this.

So I blocked him but I know I am stressed about this situation still. I blocked him so that I don't find ways to talk to him. Its not that I blocked him so that he could not talk to me. I hope its understandable.

Today, his ex-school classmate messaged me generally about how things are going on blah blah and when she asked me about what's between we two now (she hates him from school time as he was a popular guy). I told her that things ended, and what happened in short.

She told me that she once messaged him regarding entrepreneurship opportunities in Feb 2015 (I had stopped talking to him from Jan-June 2015) and while just talking generally he mentioned about me. She said he had a gf while they were all in school (in 2007) and she left him. From that time he never had any other gf after that, coz he lost trust in love. She was very confident that he still won't have any love affair because he does not believe in love anymore but might be establishing physical relationships coz of frustration or maybe having fun. She also added that he said that there is a girl who has feelings for me but I respect her incredibly and I have no idea how to handle this situation when I have no intentions to fall in love ever, its an danger zone for me which makes me weak. (that's what he said) He mentioned about me to her (he does not know that me and that girl are also friends through college)

He told her that he sees a close friend in me and possibly the only friend among all the girls and finds a connection emotionally and he cannot imagine hurting me.

This is extremely complex for me. I imagine why it became so much complicated for me because I am trying to find love where it does not exists. And he does not says anything because he does not want to hurt me as a friend.

Its true, he never hurt me as a friend. I am always hurt when he says no to me for establishing a love relationship between us. Infact, if I have ever achieved anything or I have any good or bad news to share, he was always the first person to be there. I am not taking his side nor I have broken "no contact whatsoever" but I am just updating what is happening.

I still haven't talked to him but I wish he could find his home one day the way I found my home in him