Difficult natal & transits-healing please.

Hello-

I am in the process of a Pluto conjunct IC, Uranus conjunct Saturn & opposing AC, Saturn transiting the 2nd House, transit. Ugh!!! Upheaval of life.

I am trying to use astrology to heal my wounds, find my true life path & finally have a decent relationship.

I have some very difficult placements for someone who prefers harmony. We moved constantly as a child & adult & I have never felt a sense of belonging. My family was an odd mix & I found them difficult. My sisters was especially aggressive & abusive. My mother wouldn't mother me & my father somewhat ineffective. My natal venus opposed Saturn rx also opposed my mother's venus, mars & sun. Though I felt she was a friend later in life.

I want to work with my chiron conjunct saturn rx in the 6th house. I have been considering moving back to my birth country & my mothers family but would leave behind my 22 year old daughter. Not sure why but I feel my mothers roots might help to heal me even though my mom was both amazing & abusive. I now do not have a relationship with my sister as even in our 40's she scapegoats her angst onto me & boundaries are ineffective.

Any thoughts on my chart & transits? I can't post it but I will give my birth info.
11/22/67
3:01 AM
Stoke-on-Trent
England.

Any help would be appreciated as I am severely depressed & at times suicidal. Every time I try to put my life back on track it feels wrong and I shut down again.
Thank you
SS11

As an adage- for understanding past transits. When saturn transited a conjunction to my natal venus in the 1st- opposing saturn rx, I felt the best I have ever felt and for the first time felt open to romantic love. It was an amazing feeling to have for the first time at 41. However, this man had venus & mars opposing my saturn rx. Same as my mom. I was hooked on making this man love me back. I flip flopped between Venusian & Saturnian behavior & felt damned if I did & damned if I didn't. He did not want to love me. There were reasons for this & he wasn't honest & led me to believe things that weren't so. In any event, I want that openness back that I felt towards him because he pierced my cracks & I feel more shut down now than I did prior-but also far more aware.
Currently, I feel I am rejecting the masculine ambitious part of myself to find a woman in me able to receive from a man but I may be throwing out the baby with the bath water.
I desire a man opposite my fathers nature. One with refinement, self control & discipline- though to find a man like that I need to work on my inner feminine grace. Can't find balance.

BTW- the polarity in my chart is weird. My Dad is a Cancer & my Mom was a libra. But she raised me with her masculine rational side & tended to mother my sister. I was daddy's little girl though.
I find this description of Saturn rx to be apt. http://www.throughnightsfire.com/loveandsaturnretrograde.html
Dad tried to keep everyone a baby.

You will need to post a natal chart with transits and progressions. You can obtain one from astro.com and attach it to your thread.

Scorpiosun11 said:

Hello-

I am in the process of a Pluto conjunct IC, Uranus conjunct Saturn & opposing AC, Saturn transiting the 2nd House, transit. Ugh!!! Upheaval of life.

I am trying to use astrology to heal my wounds, find my true life path & finally have a decent relationship.

I have some very difficult placements for someone who prefers harmony. We moved constantly as a child & adult & I have never felt a sense of belonging. My family was an odd mix & I found them difficult. My sisters was especially aggressive & abusive. My mother wouldn't mother me & my father somewhat ineffective. My natal venus opposed Saturn rx also opposed my mother's venus, mars & sun. Though I felt she was a friend later in life.

I want to work with my chiron conjunct saturn rx in the 6th house. I have been considering moving back to my birth country & my mothers family but would leave behind my 22 year old daughter. Not sure why but I feel my mothers roots might help to heal me even though my mom was both amazing & abusive. I now do not have a relationship with my sister as even in our 40's she scapegoats her angst onto me & boundaries are ineffective.

Any thoughts on my chart & transits? I can't post it but I will give my birth info.
11/22/67
3:01 AM
Stoke-on-Trent
England.

Any help would be appreciated as I am severely depressed & at times suicidal. Every time I try to put my life back on track it feels wrong and I shut down again.
Thank you
SS11

Click to expand...

Hi Vista,

Unfortunately, I only have Internet Access through my mobile & can't figure out how to post a chart. I left my info. If anyone is able & willing to post it, I'd really appreciate it. I have tried through astro.com in the past & it doesn't work from my phone.

here's the chart with transits:

bittermoon said:

here's the chart with transits:

Click to expand...

Thank you bittermoon, I appreciate you posting that for me.
Just wondering if anyone can comment on these transits & whether or not returning to my place of birth will help me to re-align. Thanks.

I also have Libra rising and Cap IC. For a few years, T Pluto has been looming around my IC and it spurned me to move back home... Los Angeles. None of my family members or friends live in LA anymore, but I felt like being "home" would be a comforting and grounding force. For the most part, yes, it has been. But it's also been somewhat lonesome at the same time.

Scorpiosun11 said:

Hello-

I am in the process of a Pluto conjunct IC, Uranus conjunct Saturn & opposing AC, Saturn transiting the 2nd House, transit. Ugh!!! Upheaval of life.

I am trying to use astrology to heal my wounds, find my true life path & finally have a decent relationship.

I have some very difficult placements for someone who prefers harmony. We moved constantly as a child & adult & I have never felt a sense of belonging. My family was an odd mix & I found them difficult. My sisters was especially aggressive & abusive. My mother wouldn't mother me & my father somewhat ineffective. My natal venus opposed Saturn rx also opposed my mother's venus, mars & sun. Though I felt she was a friend later in life.

I want to work with my chiron conjunct saturn rx in the 6th house. I have been considering moving back to my birth country & my mothers family but would leave behind my 22 year old daughter. Not sure why but I feel my mothers roots might help to heal me even though my mom was both amazing & abusive. I now do not have a relationship with my sister as even in our 40's she scapegoats her angst onto me & boundaries are ineffective.

Any thoughts on my chart & transits? I can't post it but I will give my birth info.
11/22/67
3:01 AM
Stoke-on-Trent
England.

Any help would be appreciated as I am severely depressed & at times suicidal. Every time I try to put my life back on track it feels wrong and I shut down again.
Thank you
SS11

Click to expand...

Moon in cancer in 10th opposing mars in cap in 4th, with cap on ic cusp. You post shows that family issues are at the forefront of your emotional life, and is reflected in the placement of the moon in 10th, which shows that motivations are emotionally driven, with a distinct familial air. The mars opposition from the 4th of home/roots shows that you perceive disruptions to your emotional life coming immediately from your family.

Jupiter, ruler of the 3rd/siblings, in 11th/the love that we would like to receive, squaring your sun. Your sisters, represented by Jupiter, take on a larger-than-life appearance (Jupiter). They are at odds with you (square sun). You would like to have good relations with them/receive love from them, but this is not happening. I prefer to look at the 5th/11th house axis as representing the love we give/5th and the love we desire to receive/11th.

You are 45 now? I think it's best to start to work towards owning your own energies, and not giving them away to others to act out for you. With moon/mars over 4th/10th, family and your struggles with them is at the emotional forefront. I think it would be good for you to try to consciously shift your emotional centre to be about you, and not your family anymore. Use your moon in cancer to care about You, not Them.

Pluto transiting your 4th could give you the impetus to break free of the emotional bondage you seem to be struggling with in regards to your family. I'm not sure if moving back to your home country will be helpful at all - it might be highly detrimental. With moon in 10th, we often make big decisions based on the temperamental and transitory nature of our emotions...how about trying to embody more of your sun? I don't hear any sun scorpio in your post, perhaps you have disowned that part of you, and have been living fully from your moon?

Sun in scorpio at anaretic degree conj neptune in 2nd. This paints the picture of a very different person. This is a visionary, and with the sextile to its ruler Pluto, and trine to saturn, can be a force to be reckoned with. Focus on developing that.

With Pluto transiting your ic - your base - your soul - you are getting the opportunity to get more in touch with your sun and bring it into conscious being, as pluto rules your sun. I would make that my focus right now, and worry about relationships later. You need to develop inner strength and wherewithal to own that Jupiter and stop passing it off to your sisters, as well as own that mars and stop passing it off to your family.

With 10 degree orb, I wouldn't really consider saturn and Chiron in conjunction. I would leave that to contemplate until after you have assimilated Pluto crossing your ic.

Tr jupiter is approaching a trine with your natal venus. I would check out when this timeframe is, and during that time, work on bringing out that beautiful charm of venus in libra on the asc. This will help you with self esteem, and bringing more of zest back to life. Venus is cut off from the rest of your chart and is only making very wide connections with saturn and mars. Saturn and mars are in mutual reception and since you seem to have given your mars away, their influence over your venus is not going to be good. I would imagine that you have experienced this as family once again standing in your way of being able to really embody that libra venus on the asc... Did they make you feel less than attractive, did they mock your disposition, did they prevent you from expressing that venus?

Finally, elementally you are heavy on the water and very light on air and fire. Try to incorporate activities that are more air/fire. Get active! Aerobic exercise and strength training are the biggest things you can do to help alleviate depression.

Hope this helps!

Edit: I was trying to think about some highly suitable physical activities for you, and looking at your 5th with Aquarius on the cusp, ruled by uranus in 12th, I think a team sport might be in order.

may28gemini-Thank you for your thoughts on a similar aspect.

milkywaygirl- I'm sorry, I just found this post. Thank you so much for your thoughts & efforts.

I have been re-thinking the returning to my home country move. I will likely just visit. I am visiting my old home, where some friends & family are, but my home country has my mothers lineage, to which I relate & am close to family.

I have tried to access my own anger, so that I don't make others act it out. It truly has only happened in my home & with partners. I'm very libran in many ways. Love harmony, beauty, diplomacy & caring about others. I am also very cancer in my emotional attachments-very hard to let go of the past for me. I can see what you say about transient emotions ruling my actions.

Working with Saturn & Mars does seem to be the key-but I lack self dicipline, which I must work on. I do need to be very physically active.

I am unsure how I don't express my sun, I can be spicy & very imaginative, but I seem to be locked inside with that.

Yes, as a child I felt very much like I could not win. my sister (I only have 1) seemed to absorb everyones attention, whether for good or bad behavior. I felt mocked for being somewhat serious & sensible. I also felt like a quiet wallflower-nice little pretty girl, who hated to make waves. As a teen I was fairly rebellious-though in a typical Scorpio fashion-I had control, knew my limits & I would allow no-one to guide me. Not surprising that I trusted neither of my parent to know what the hell was right or wrong.

I keep trying to escape the bondage & seem to have success for short periods. Then feel drastically alone. I am very attractive, funny, kind and yet, can not seem to meet any men who want to be with me other than those similar to my father-no thank you. Ridiculous with no integrity. Wow-I just realized that is my opinion of my father-though I love him.

My last boyfriend made me realize that I could not receive. Just unsure where to be, what to do to find the type of man I would love to share my life with-which is truly what I want. Or how to heal my oppositions-in the relationship houses.

I am going to take a Tantra Yoga training-which I am hoping might help.

Thanks again-milkyway girl. I am still up & down with the depression-permanently in transience. Yuk!!!

SS11

I also wanted to mention that I don't think I disown my anger onto my sister. She is not well & has contention with many people. For some reason she has always felt ownership over me & makes sure she bad mouths me to her children, my father & anyone else who will listen. She pretends to want a relationship with me, but has no idea how her hostility makes her unsafe for me. There is no winning & mostly, I just don't engage. I have had to separate from my nieces & nephew and distance myself from my father. We have amiable relations-but it is too much as my sister will say what a "bad" human being I am. She has no reason for this-& I know she is not well.

I also want to note that some of these attachments are in conflict with my Grand Water Trine. I am somewhat closed and self sufficient.
SS11

Hi Scorpiosun11,

It was during my Pluto 4th house transit that I began to work towards putting down roots. Things started to slow right down. Prior to the transit, I moved an insane amount of times. But gradually, I would settle for 4 years, move, settle for 2 years, move, settle for another 2 years, before settling in the same home for 10 years. It was while Pluto was in my 4th house, albeit in the last 5 degrees, and while Uranus entered my 7th house that I embarked on the best relationship of my life. I found so much fun, freedom and stability with this person, who I married, and am still with today.

So from my perspective, a 4th house Pluto transit that coincides with a 7th house Uranus passage could be exactly what you need in your life right now. Pluto and Uranus enhance gut feelings and intuitive responses, so you will be compelled / guided to connect the dots. So, trust in that.

Rosie7 said:

Hi Scorpiosun11,

It was during my Pluto 4th house transit that I began to work towards putting down roots. Things started to slow right down. Prior to the transit, I moved an insane amount of times. But gradually, I would settle for 4 years, move, settle for 2 years, move, settle for another 2 years, before settling in the same home for 10 years. It was while Pluto was in my 4th house, albeit in the last 5 degrees, and while Uranus entered my 7th house that I embarked on the best relationship of my life. I found so much fun, freedom and stability with this person, who I married, and am still with today.

So from my perspective, a 4th house Pluto transit that coincides with a 7th house Uranus passage could be exactly what you need in your life right now. Pluto and Uranus enhance gut feelings and intuitive responses, so you will be compelled / guided to connect the dots. So, trust in that.

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Hi Rosie-
Thanks for sharing your thoughts & experiences with Pluto in the 4th & Uranus in the 7th.

Alas-by the time Pluto finishes up my 4th, I will be close to 70.
I felt those two things happened for me during Pluto in the 3rd. I might be ahead of the game, except it all went belly up. Bought my first home with the intention of settling in a community, met whom I felt to be "the one", settled into a 9-5 in management. However, past childhood stuff has surfaced leaving me flailing. So I guess I was not living my truth. Neptune is in my 5th heading to the 6th. Everytime I read about the outer planet transits-the rest of my life feels doomed, though I am a big fan of free will. I honestly though the 2nd half of my life would truly be amazing. Now I have no idea where I'm going, what I'm doing, broke & in career crisis. Truly wishing I had someone who understood me & I was journeying with.

I hope I pull it together & find some peace & love. I do still find that nugget of hope though.
I am trying to trust & connect to my intuition. Your moving sounds like mine. It's exhausting isn't it? Glad you came out the other side finding something amazing!!
SS11

Hi Milkywaygirl-
I have some questions about the 5th/11th house axis. The love we give verses the love we wish to receive. So would that mean I give cool aloof friendship to my lovers but would like the Leo magnanimity & warmth from a lover? Would that also mean if a man had the opposing axis, that might suit me?
Also-would you be willing to expand details on owning my sun with it's helpful aspects to pluto & saturn? I can be a force but my wind has been knocked out of my sails.

What would your thoughts be on Tantra Yoga for a new career & to heal my intimacy issues. Would include really being in my body for the first time in my life. I have some sexual abuse issues from childhood.
Thanks so much.

SS11

Rosie7 said:

Hi Scorpiosun11,

It was during my Pluto 4th house transit that I began to work towards putting down roots. Things started to slow right down. Prior to the transit, I moved an insane amount of times. But gradually, I would settle for 4 years, move, settle for 2 years, move, settle for another 2 years, before settling in the same home for 10 years. It was while Pluto was in my 4th house, albeit in the last 5 degrees, and while Uranus entered my 7th house that I embarked on the best relationship of my life. I found so much fun, freedom and stability with this person, who I married, and am still with today.

So from my perspective, a 4th house Pluto transit that coincides with a 7th house Uranus passage could be exactly what you need in your life right now. Pluto and Uranus enhance gut feelings and intuitive responses, so you will be compelled / guided to connect the dots. So, trust in that.

Click to expand...

Wow! that's really what I've been going through! T Capricorn Pluto shaking up my 4th house while T Aries Uranus causing trauma in my 7th LOL

I've been wanting to put down my roots but haven't had much luck. Met many awful and disgusting guys and pretty much just gave up on finding a suitable mate. I did strangely decide to "come home" to my hometown to gain perspective but it's been over 2 years now and I'm thinking I ought to take flight again.

What you wrote about finding and having fun with your now husband gives me some hope that I could meet and marry a fun person during this usual time too!

may28gemini said:

What you wrote about finding and having fun with your now husband gives me some hope that I could meet and marry a fun person during this usual time too!

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My wife, you mean : Keep an open mind, love and abundance comes in many forms. If the men you encounter are disgusting and incompatible, throw down your limiting beliefs and start looking at other avenues.

mirthyQ said:

Where are you going to go? What are you going to do? This is who you are when no one is looking. This is who you are when all is said and done - your core self - the 4th house - the soul's final resting place.

I have studied the 4th house because I have alot of firy energy there. Some of the best info I have seen was by the astrologer Dane Rudymar (spelling?). It is soul based and reincarnation based, too if I remember right. He has many books I can't remember which ones.

So for me the 4th house door is 20 Leo, uranus at 23 leo, mars and north node at 29 leo, and pluto at 5 virgo. Uranus is the south node ruler (past life development) conjunct the north node staring at aquarius in the 10th (midheaven). Mars energy with the north node feels good to me. Like someone said I grew up loving sports and competing (mars) but I preferred this in a team environment (uranus/aquarius). The depositor of all of this energy is the sun conj mercury in cancer in 1st house (Gem rising). To say that I have a lot of raw energy directed outwardly (a little) but mostly internally (pluto) and beyond the personal (uranus/aquarius) would be an understatement. It took me until my early 30's to manage riding this wild steed (energy).

According to Rudymar the 4th is the house of God in that it is the lowest point and all energies are settled there - ie it is who you are on a soul level - your instinctual self, the base of the soul's resting place. All of the dream energy of the chart flailing about in the sky (other higher houses in the chart) showing their energy expression - but the roots of all of this must originate from the 4th because it is the instinctual foundations, the soul itself - no where else to go, and it must all eventually return there. The 12th the 8th house, no, when your soul departs from the body it goes out via the 4th house (at least for most people).

With mars there one would gather that your instinctual self is assertive and aggressive - so outwardly it could be your home environment (or how you on the inside interpreted your home environment). But mars is also initiative and raw energy - the soldier in our birth charts waiting to carry out orders with force if needed - the 4th represents the kundalini energy at the base of the spine and mars there means a developed soul who is learning about this. Or an undeveloped soul who will learn about strife outwardly in there homes/within themselves.

Your choice - use this raw energy for your good else suffer with it through the bad. For me, the beast (mars) has been put to work and is servant to the outer planets around it (uranus and pluto)/aqua up top and in a yod directed up to saturn in cap and jup in aquarius (aqua again). I'm glad to have it there stirring up energy for me. And it is like hot molten lava seething in the bowels/roots (as someone else came up with).



God can be had in the 4th house.

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http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?p=472702#post472702

I found this thread and wanted to add it. Milkywaygirl suggested utilizing Mars in the 4th to try to heal & I believe all these transits are telling me that I must go forward and work on this.

Saturn, Uranus & Pluto transits are demanding, I think.

Rosie7 said:

My wife, you mean : Keep an open mind, love and abundance comes in many forms. If the men you encounter are disgusting and incompatible, throw down your limiting beliefs and start looking at other avenues.

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My error on the "husband" comment but that's because I misread

[deleted attacking comments - Moderator]

may28gemini said:

My error on the "husband" comment but that's because I misread

You think being straight is due to "limiting beliefs"?!
You've mistaken who you think you're talking to. What you suggested is really disgusting and all under the guise of telling a perfect stranger to "be open minded" and all that progressive bullsh*t.

I don't go around telling gay men to try women, no more than a lesbian have any right to me to switch teams like a light switch. That's not how reality works.

Click to expand...

Of course, you misread because Rosie is so easily mistaken with Ramond, Roland, or Regis. No, you knew I was a woman and you made an assumption that I was married to a man. No big deal. As my emoticon showed, I laughed about it.

Now, here is a fun fact: bisexual folks form relationships and get married! So, there is another assumption you have made about me that we can kibosh.

The fulcrum of any intrapersonal or interpersonal conflict is our underlying assumptions that form our limiting beliefs. Assumptions are those little stories, often incorrect, we tell ourselves about ourselves and other people and what we believe motivates our own and other peoples actions. There is good reason why astrology books recommend folks go through therapy or counseling during a 4th house Pluto transit: it gives us the opportunity to go through our emotional baggage, use critical thinking, and purge ourselves of our limiting beliefs. As a result, you come out the other end a whole new shiny transformed person…but not without the work.

A 7th house Uranus transit gives you an opportunity to start changing your perceptions about other people. Specifically, the type of people you attract will change. And yeah, you have got to be open to new possibilities and opportunities.

If a person is not attracting the “right” types in a relationship, or any type for that matter, that is the time to start examining your assumptions. Assumptions about what you need, what is important, what you value, what is sexy, etc. What kind of packaging does that come in? And change your limiting beliefs about how your needs and relationship goals can be met.

And, if you are attracting, as you stated, “awful and disgusting guys”; then, it begs the question: why is that? Furthermore, ask, “what am I contributing to this, and how can I change that?” Taking flight, flying off the handle, and attacking others won’t get you those answers.

With 4th house Pluto, you will be required to stand still and deal, and if you’ve done a good job then, you will start attracting different types of people. Maybe the best thing in your life is standing right beside you, but you can’t see it, because their package doesn’t fit your limiting beliefs. Change your perceptions, change yourself, and start looking in different directions. And I am not talking about gender, nor am I trying to sell you a toaster.

No one wants to be involved with someone who is judgmental, reactionary, and attacking. That’s not you? Pluto doesn’t care. You will go kicking and screaming through this transit either way.

For the record- This is a thread about helping with some difficult transits & I have been asking some clarifying questions & I was hoping to get those.

Also- Rosie, I knew what you meant about changing perspective when you were answering May28gemini's comments. I am experiencing the same thing. Change the type of "person" you attract irrespective of gender. I'm sorry this thread has diverted to unnecessary hostility.

I believe you're right that it is a good time for therapy & change.

SS11

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