Lia
Member
I'm new here so if I make mistakes forgive me.
In 0-4 degrees of Scorpio in the fifth I have Jupiter, Mars, Moon with Juno at 7 degrees, all square Saturn in 6 degrees of Leo. Venus is at 18 degrees square Pluto in Leo at 12 degrees. Libra contains Sun conjunct Neptune, 4-8 degrees, Mercury at 14 (trine Uranus in Gemini), and Chiron at 23 Libra. That's my lot, Cancer Asc, Pisces MC conjunct Vesta.
Of course there is a sense of duality; Libra sits there in my head tut-tutting at what Scorpio does. Mostly, I don't think of myself as a Libra; with progressed Sun in Scorpio most of my adult life I've felt like Scorpio. My progressed Sun changed to Sagittarius 7 years ago, but this seems to have made little difference.
I'm an artist, (all that energy focused in the 5th), have developed a unique medium, (Uranus conjunct NN trine Mercury?) and, at long last (I'm 63) am becoming successful. Highly critical of myself, a loner, (Saturn square the Scorpio triple conjunction?) I never had the confidence to really push myself "out there", but recent traumas forced me to look for some sense of self worth, and my art seems the only way to achieve that. It forces me to interact with the outside world; I'm pretty reclusive,( I shrink from writing this, and feel really exposed, but I'm desperate!) and yes, I guess, self obsessed. I'm obsessive, intense and compulsive in all my varied activities and in relationships in general, and I'm always on the move, physically and mentally. I learnt meditation to try to slow myself down (no luck; just getting my butt on a meditation cushion is a major achievement! ); I walk and work out in order to try to get myself away from my creative drives for a while. Astrology, focusing my brain on abstract principles, is what I do when I'm driving myself mad; it helps me focus on others, and look at myself more objectively.
I find intimate relationships really difficult, (although I do fine on a casual level, to begin with anyway); most of my friends have been around for at least 30 years and are used to my creative highs followed by depressed lows, and I take care not to see too much of them. They usually come around when they're in trouble! My rare major sexual/ emotional relationships always seem to be with plutonic personalities. Happiness never lasts long, and it takes me years to recover from a relationship; letting go doesn't come easily.
Right now, Pluto is squaring my Sun while Saturn conjuncts it, and will for a while yet. It also sextiles my early Scorpio bundle, and I've observed that, fresh out of the most damaging relationship of my life, that's a real plus in terms of my career, and shifting some energy away from introspection.
I'm just fed up with myself! Yevtushenko, the Russian poet said, " As we get older, we get honester"; my personal comment is that we certainly don't get wiser! Well, I don't! Can anyone out there advise me?
In 0-4 degrees of Scorpio in the fifth I have Jupiter, Mars, Moon with Juno at 7 degrees, all square Saturn in 6 degrees of Leo. Venus is at 18 degrees square Pluto in Leo at 12 degrees. Libra contains Sun conjunct Neptune, 4-8 degrees, Mercury at 14 (trine Uranus in Gemini), and Chiron at 23 Libra. That's my lot, Cancer Asc, Pisces MC conjunct Vesta.
Of course there is a sense of duality; Libra sits there in my head tut-tutting at what Scorpio does. Mostly, I don't think of myself as a Libra; with progressed Sun in Scorpio most of my adult life I've felt like Scorpio. My progressed Sun changed to Sagittarius 7 years ago, but this seems to have made little difference.
I'm an artist, (all that energy focused in the 5th), have developed a unique medium, (Uranus conjunct NN trine Mercury?) and, at long last (I'm 63) am becoming successful. Highly critical of myself, a loner, (Saturn square the Scorpio triple conjunction?) I never had the confidence to really push myself "out there", but recent traumas forced me to look for some sense of self worth, and my art seems the only way to achieve that. It forces me to interact with the outside world; I'm pretty reclusive,( I shrink from writing this, and feel really exposed, but I'm desperate!) and yes, I guess, self obsessed. I'm obsessive, intense and compulsive in all my varied activities and in relationships in general, and I'm always on the move, physically and mentally. I learnt meditation to try to slow myself down (no luck; just getting my butt on a meditation cushion is a major achievement! ); I walk and work out in order to try to get myself away from my creative drives for a while. Astrology, focusing my brain on abstract principles, is what I do when I'm driving myself mad; it helps me focus on others, and look at myself more objectively.
I find intimate relationships really difficult, (although I do fine on a casual level, to begin with anyway); most of my friends have been around for at least 30 years and are used to my creative highs followed by depressed lows, and I take care not to see too much of them. They usually come around when they're in trouble! My rare major sexual/ emotional relationships always seem to be with plutonic personalities. Happiness never lasts long, and it takes me years to recover from a relationship; letting go doesn't come easily.
Right now, Pluto is squaring my Sun while Saturn conjuncts it, and will for a while yet. It also sextiles my early Scorpio bundle, and I've observed that, fresh out of the most damaging relationship of my life, that's a real plus in terms of my career, and shifting some energy away from introspection.
I'm just fed up with myself! Yevtushenko, the Russian poet said, " As we get older, we get honester"; my personal comment is that we certainly don't get wiser! Well, I don't! Can anyone out there advise me?