LostinPhilly
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I remember, Lost. Don’t do it.
Getting my narcissist father out of my life was the best thing for me. it was very hard at first, and I almost committed suicide. But in the long run it was the best for everyone. He’s been dead now for more than a quarter century, and my mother for about 3 years.
You would really need to look at the Tertiary Progressed Return chart synastry if you wanted to see what the current feelings between you would be like. To do that, you would need to PM me some data.
She tormented me my entire life and now that I am back in touch with her, the thoughts of suicide are creeping back in every single day because I feel as though it's the only way to escape her now that she sneaked back into my life using my dad's death. I was perfectly stable beforehand (during the 6 years of no-contact).
There's your answer right there. It doesn't take astrology to tell you that.
The synastry between your birth chart and your mother's cannot change. It's the same now as it was six years ago, and same as it was during your childhood. If synastry showed how someone would behave toward you, it would always show the same behavior.
In reality, people's behavior sometimes does change, but if this is how you feel about your mother, you can't afford to wait around to find out if she'll treat you any differently, and the safest assumption is that she won't. Even if she did, the way she treated you before and the way it makes you feel now still stands. That would be reason enough to keep her out of your life for good.
The advice the others wrote above are really the best route.
Your mother is your mother, and none of us can escape from that connection.
Some can develop a liveable relationship, but others can't.
If it is too toxic, the only thing to do is exit.
You can't change her, you can only change how you react, and how you assimilate her actions internally. It's one of the greatest challenges we face in life!
This said, the chart you posted is really very difficult to read.
However, as Osamenor wrote, the synastry is what it is. It's the spiritual progress that a person makes that can change things, how they manifest the energy they are born with.
Your synastry has a sun/jupiter conjunction and a moon/jupiter opposition, so one would be led to think this is actually a positive connection!
The sun/neptune conjunction isn't necessarily negative.
Based on this, the synastry probably won't be of any help to you.
A horary question might have been more appropriate in this case.
At any rate, good luck, stay true to yourself, whichever way you decide to go.
Exactly, which is why in this case the synastry probably isn't the best approach.
If anything, maybe her natal could help to evaluate her internal conflicts, how they manifest, and her 5th house of children.
Did you try doing a composite of your two chart? That should reflect better what the relationship between you two is like.
I will look into the composite, thank you. I've never tried it in this particular context.
How dreadful.
And how well you were able to react. Good for you!Stay strong.
How is your relationship with your siblings? Do you usually get on well with them when she isn't around?
This is where the ascendents and houses are important, too bad you don't have any of the birth times. Looking forward to seeing the composite.