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  #1  
Unread 01-10-2017, 05:36 PM
PinklySM PinklySM is offline
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Am I destined for loneliness in love? Am I too idealistic?

Hi!

Adolescence is supposed to be "the time of romance" but I was always busy with other things (myself, lol).

Maybe I see relationships very seriously, I think that one decides to love and love is forever because the good wishes for the loved one are not going to change so everything is over.
I had many relationships (not romantic) that ended badly but even now they deserve the best!

If I felt interest but as soon as it becomes possible it disappears, and also happens that people are not completely authentic or always look for good and lose, and such a man loses the magic.

I like people who are themselves (as well as me) and who are no matter what. People who do not change for others or seek to change you, who let everything be as it is or will be.

It's hard to meet people like that, maybe I'm asking too much too high ideals? I do not know. I seek the true.

I saw many relationships in my life where the end means wanting the worst and everything becomes hate. I do not want a person with such basic thoughts.

I also notice that I feel very attracted to older men and it is because they are so wise and safe (not all)

I had many opportunities but do not think and not felt that they were for me.
I reject many guys and I hate the insistence, not that I hate them or things like that but they should understand it at first.And what I do not like is that it is how I see myself because I am more and it is of no use as I see myself at the end and in all it is so!

I find it hard to keep the interest, I need to talk about anything and make it fun, also learn and tell me what you believe!

I even sometimes confuse friendship with love, lol.

I'm very romantic and dreamer!



December 22 1996

23:00

Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Sorry for my English!

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  #2  
Unread 01-10-2017, 11:03 PM
rahu rahu is offline
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Re: Am I destined for loneliness in love? Am I too idealistic?

hi PiinklySM

you do have several aspect that can bring despondency and a somber life at times.
orcus is on your ascendant suggesting unconscious personality dynamics affect your conscious outlook.

your moon is opposed to nessus which suggests a childhood with an over bearings or emotionally abusive mother. this aspect also gives you a deeply reflective emotional nature.

the south node conjunct to Saturn also suggest a hard emotional childhood with your father bearing very emotionally restrictive to the degree of being emotionally abusive also.

you moon is quintile to your Saturn which suggest your parents were often at odds with each other and that you were pulled back and forth between them. almost as if your were a pawn in there arguments. This shows that you have a difficult time with social situations because growing up there was always so much tension.

your mars/Venus midpoint is square to psychic so as you have said you still have a idealistic feeling in love despite the harsh emotional upbringing.
your psyche/eros midpoint is opposed to sedan which again shows that you have a truthful and childlike expectation about relationships.it camn give you a air of innocence in relationships .
your venus/Jupiter midpoint is conjunct to your sun and square to Saturn. this shows your attraction to older men.it shows that you are very mature fro your age . although you are young in spirit ,you are mature in practical matters and ,I think an older man would be more suited to your mature view of the world.

Saturn conjunct the south node is the reason you find relationships sometimes becoming bad and hurtful. but this also shows that you will finf security and love with an older man.
rahu
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  #3  
Unread 03-05-2017, 01:41 PM
PinklySM PinklySM is offline
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Re: Am I destined for loneliness in love? Am I too idealistic?

Hi, rahu! Thank you!
It's great as you can see those things!

Regarding my childhood it is absolutely true, my mother harmed me much e even now often do it but it is not the same; I guess that the prospects of a child are different. In these moments I can understand it a little more, as is when was more young this was much more painful that now. It is easier if we remove the title of "mother" and see it as a normal person who is.
My father not was abusive, in fact it felt little committed, absent although if was but the feeling of invisibility always was. I felt her love but also their failures. I think it idealicé too.

My parents not had the best relationship, they are divorced when was nina, he was but is as if all is as the would like to or not was. In my adolescence simply me away from it, by things that not comes to the case, and by that lack of personality that makes that is goal with women that not are good for it. This tendency to toxicity which is lack of self-esteem.
Today think that not had to have me gone but have you taught but in those momentos(tenía 15 años) I not was well, and the end unleashed a depression that me chain by 2 years.

My parents still is love, my dad is very proud, my mother is very harmful. Not know love is. His love transformed into hatred for my father, my mother suffers to see that we are separated from it (their children). Would like to be able to do that all we bring well and us forgive of truth. Only respect. However in this family wounds are weakness and no one shows them, only I am that this desperate to transform that.

When I was a child, always had fears and insecurities, I always felt inadequate, unwanted and idealized, as it was nothing of what was let that transform all my image at will and let me take to be something, I assumed that it was love, I assumed that if it was as I am nobody was going to love me, I imposed too but they also gave me freedom; now I tend to rebel against everything that I edit, not much respect for others, feel that they are all false and that is too bad. Always me did feel as a "trophy" is truth, never anyone I speak about my interior.
"It's beautiful!" for others, but nothing more.
Never stuff such as:
"What you like? what you makes happy? what you makes sad?"
The silence you condemn.

Let me be honest sometimes it is as if he did not feel anything and wanting to feel I lost, if I idealize relationships, looking for company, but I can not give too, I'm a little selfish, I want to do everything my way, but when it comes to me, I like to do for other unnecessary things; I like to help and make others happy but not lose me for them, people sometimes take it as disinterest, others such as I'm bad but it is not as well, I just want to be free. I'm not very mature, I can't find a path to follow, I don't know what to do with my life and I feel that my past condemns me, I lost too much time being sad, I have no experiences, I have no friends, I feel that be me my limits but I don't want to lose more. It is difficult that someone love me so, I used to be more toxic but always detached but I don't know, I feel that I am too selfish to love or perhaps I need someone who understands that I change all the time and do whatever he wants is not bad. I have ideas, I need time and space.

can you explain this please?
"orcus is on your ascendant suggesting unconscious personality dynamics affect your conscious outlook"

I really thank you and appreciate your response!
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  #4  
Unread 03-05-2017, 03:03 PM
aldebaran aldebaran is offline
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Posts: 212
Re: Am I destined for loneliness in love? Am I too idealistic?

"I like people who are themselves (as well as me) and who are no matter what. People who do not change for others or seek to change you, who let everything be as it is or will be."

Estoy tentando decifrar el significado del asteroid "Orcus", y Rahu dice que tienes esto en tu ascendente. Perdona mi español.

I believe this asteroid might have relation with the "pacto" of our life; the oaks we do and follow.
If Pluto is about changing what offers resistance to us; Orcus would be about not changing anything - while there's no resistance at all if we wanted to change it.

If this is so, having it in the ascendant, you'll have in your identity and very strong in yourself this thing of being "faithful" to what you should do, to what you believe, to what you feel are the rules you follow: and really won't want to change it!

Other people will behave differently, and yet not be less faithful to themselves. It's just because Orcus is about a kind of a "Pacto" that we do and follow - that we do all the time and follow.

Nonetheless, one good thing the Zodiac can teach is the balance: you should be aware that Pluto is also part of life, so, changing, sometimes, is needed! I guess balancing Pluto and Orcus is good - althought, having it in your ascendant, you'll always tend to Orcus, pero es bueno, creo, que notes que ambas las cosas son necesarias, y que pender totalmente para el lado de "mantener", sin dejar espacio para el "cambiar", talvez no sea el ideal.

Last edited by aldebaran; 03-05-2017 at 03:10 PM.
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