I feel like I'm a failure

amxyz

New member
Hi,

last year Neptune transited my natal Neptune so that they are squared to each other. This is when my most difficult period of time has started. And now I moved to italy but it's very difficult to make ends meet in Italy. I have the italian citizenship but I was born and raised in Germany. And I lived in Germany until my 39th birthday. But I think it would be better to go back to germany because I could always pay my rent in Germany. The italians also have a different mentality which I still haven't become used to it.

I did a vocational training in the Information technology but I've never earned well in this sector. My best yearly income was 12 000 € in 2013 but in average I earned 10500 € a year whereas last year in 2019 my earnings dropped to 9000€. I get health problems as soon as I inhale the dust of the laser printers or when I'm near a microoven or mobile radiation. So I wanted to change my profession. In order to do this I wanted to move to Italy because in germany I can't study at a university anymore. My high school grades are not the best.I wanted to study chemistry bachelor. But now since I have too little money, I couldn't pay the rent for the last 3 months I'm thinking about to go back to germany. My relatives in Germany in Italy won't help me they don't want to deal with me any longer.
The italian government won't support me they'd rather pay refugees 1000€ a month.

Radix:
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Transit chart:
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Last edited:

amxyz

New member
Thank you for your reply. Isn't there a chance for me to stay in Italy and have a successful life? I've heard that the mission of the scorpio rising is to find out of disempowerment. So I've decided this week to stay in Italy. Because if I go back to Germany I have to sleep in a room with several people, which costs me more. And in Italy I have the chance to continue studying chemistry. In germany it was so difficult to combine working and studying. In Germany there are no part time studies in my field. And if you can't manage 50 hs of studying with working 20 - 30 hours on the side then they throw you out. It was just horrible for me there.

I hope that I can earn money with my freelance work by offering database development + Java development. When I talked to an astrologer last year he told me that in 2021 or 2022 I will find my dream apartment. But I don't know why he told me this. Is this because JUpiter is transiting my 4th house next year? It is so difficult for me to find out of this crisis because I can't rely on anyone. Noone will help me.
 

amxyz

New member
I've also heard that with a scorpio ascendant you will lead a very tragic life or be very lucky. So in my case my life has always been difficult. When my mother committed suicide I had to life in children's home for 10 years. I got beaten up there. And when I was grown up I wanted to become successful in informatics but my health doesn't allow it. So I wanted to change my subject. But I don't know If I will earn enough money to finance my studies. Earning money has always been so difficult for me. When I worked for others the colleagues always started talking about me behind my back. I really hate these things.
 

amxyz

New member
I also wanted to know which aspect or transit is responsible for it if you lose almost everything? Because my things are still in a storage in Germany but I don't have enough money anymore to pay for the rent nor do I possess enough money for the moving company. My life is just horrible and I assume that I will always have a tragic life with a bad ending.
 
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