the shadow. That is why I dredged up that old work thread. I think it is 'the shadow' that is dogging you Anjelik.
The shadow is the part of our own personality that we ourselves cannot see. So we can only see it as it is projected onto others and it will follow us and mess with us until we see it and acknowledge it.
So, Anjelik, we come back to this question. I've highlighted your text which shows examples of narcissistic behaviour and narcissistic thinking patterns. Your other threads contain more examples. The same message repeats: your behaviour is the epitome of morality, professionalism, beauty, rationality, etc., and others who take issue with you are all kinds of jealous, selfish, immoral, irrational, blind, etc. What's interesting is, when you receive feedback which you perceive to be negative, initially it upsets you, but then you quickly twist that negative feedback into something that speaks positively about you and negatively about the other person.
The psychoanalytic "iceberg" model of mind identifies three parts of the personality, the ego, the superego, and the id.
This model is not chart-specific. It applies to every person. The id is the animalistic part of our mind which wants only pleasure (little children are completely id). The superego is the part of our mind which tries to counter the id completely with morals (this is like the parent stereotype). The ego is the rationalising centre which takes into account the influences of the id and of the superego in order to achieve a rational, socially acceptable, result. As the diagram shows, only a small part of the ego and the superego are accessible to conscious awareness. The majority of mental processing happens subconsciously but the results of subconscious processing appear in our behaviour and affect our interpersonal functioning, which is why understanding this model is necessary.
A strong ego deals with interpersonal problems head-on, acknowledges them and willingly makes whichever adjustments are needed to facilitate rational functionality. A weak ego, however, will use instead a variety of defenses to block dealing with uncomfortable realities about oneself and sweep them out of conscious awareness. Freudians describe narcissistic behaviour as using the "reaction formation" defense of pretending the opposite is true (pretending it is positive instead of negative) while using the ego defence of "projection" and "transference" to direct irrationally the feeling of negativity onto others. Subconscious defenses make the ego weak and submerged under water completely. This lets the ego avoid stress but at the price of diminished functioning. That's the basic run down.
If this was a minor issue for you, someone would point it out and it would have been resolved. For you, ego defenses are so strong, you actually believe you are being rational, when you are not. If what you seek is to resolve this problem once and for all, this is not going to happen on a forum or through projection and denial. It is going to happen only when you are open to having your defenses challenged continuously by a "psychodynamic" therapist. Psychodynamic Therapy is not one of those lovely 'easy' therapies, like counselling, it's more of a boot camp. It works at your own pace but it pushes you to recognize, confront and destroy the defense armor which weighs you down into subconscious bondage. There is a lot more to explain but that should be between you and a professional. I'm not really a believer in therapy but sometimes it is necessary.
For the record, I do not think badly of you. Every person who shows narcissistic patterns of behaviour has also a warm side to them, which they reserve for special occasions. I know that. I am not trying to discriminate against you or hurt you but point out what may be a painful truth because you asked. If there is one thing we all have in common, it's that we all have problems. They do not define us. What defines us is how we deal with them and whether we deal with them at all. Have you ever met an older person who did not deal with his problems in youth? It looks very, very, ugly. Addressing aforementioned glitches will liberate you and enrich your life and, as such, that is the only reason why I write and hope you take genuine steps in that direction. I wish you all the best and a lovely weekend. <3 <3 <3
the shadow. That is why I dredged up that old work thread. I think it is 'the shadow' that is dogging you Anjelik.
The shadow is the part of our own personality that we ourselves cannot see. So we can only see it as it is projected onto others and it will follow us and mess with us until we see it and acknowledge it.
So, Anjelik, we come back to this question. I've highlighted your text which shows examples of narcissistic behaviour and narcissistic thinking patterns. Your other threads contain more examples. The same message repeats: your behaviour is the epitome of morality, professionalism, beauty, rationality, etc., and others who take issue with you are all kinds of jealous, selfish, immoral, irrational, blind, etc. What's interesting is, when you receive feedback which you perceive to be negative, initially it upsets you, but then you quickly twist that negative feedback into something that speaks positively about you and negatively about the other person.
The psychoanalytic "iceberg" model of mind identifies three parts of the personality, the ego, the superego, and the id.
This model is not chart-specific. It applies to every person. The id is the animalistic part of our mind which wants only pleasure (little children are completely id). The superego is the part of our mind which tries to counter the id completely with morals (this is like the parent stereotype). The ego is the rationalising centre which takes into account the influences of the id and of the superego in order to achieve a rational, socially acceptable, result. As the diagram shows, only a small part of the ego and the superego are accessible to conscious awareness. The majority of mental processing happens subconsciously but the results of subconscious processing appear in our behaviour and affect our interpersonal functioning, which is why understanding this model is necessary.
A strong ego deals with interpersonal problems head-on, acknowledges them and willingly makes whichever adjustments are needed to facilitate rational functionality. A weak ego, however, will use instead a variety of defenses to block dealing with uncomfortable realities about oneself and sweep them out of conscious awareness. Freudians describe narcissistic behaviour as using the "reaction formation" defense of pretending the opposite is true (pretending it is positive instead of negative) while using the ego defence of "projection" and "transference" to direct irrationally the feeling of negativity onto others. Subconscious defenses make the ego weak and submerged under water completely. This lets the ego avoid stress but at the price of diminished functioning. That's the basic run down.
If this was a minor issue for you, someone would point it out and it would have been resolved. For you, ego defenses are so strong, you actually believe you are being rational, when you are not. If what you seek is to resolve this problem once and for all, this is not going to happen on a forum or through projection and denial. It is going to happen only when you are open to having your defenses challenged continuously by a "psychodynamic" therapist. Psychodynamic Therapy is not one of those lovely 'easy' therapies, like counselling, it's more of a boot camp. It works at your own pace but it pushes you to recognize, confront and destroy the defense armor which weighs you down into subconscious bondage. There is a lot more to explain but that should be between you and a professional. I'm not really a believer in therapy but sometimes it is necessary.
For the record, I do not think badly of you. Every person who shows narcissistic patterns of behaviour has also a warm side to them, which they reserve for special occasions. I know that. I am not trying to discriminate against you or hurt you but point out what may be a painful truth because you asked. If there is one thing we all have in common, it's that we all have problems. They do not define us. What defines us is how we deal with them and whether we deal with them at all. Have you ever met an older person who did not deal with his problems in youth? It looks very, very, ugly. Addressing aforementioned glitches will liberate you and enrich your life and, as such, that is the only reason why I write and hope you take genuine steps in that direction. I wish you all the best and a lovely weekend. <3 <3 <3
Im glad you got something out of my post.
If you have decided you don't want to make any changes to your investigative side, then I think you may have find some way of dealing with ppl not liking it.
You will always get at least 1/10 ppl who wont like you and that's still a pretty good score. There are ppl who have 7/10 ppl who don't like them and yet they don't care. So you may need to stop thinking about the 1%. I know it's hard because you start thinking there may be something wrong with you, but it may be as simple as having different perspectives or different interests, which no-one can control.
I still think that it would help to look deeper into how ppl deal with power struggles successfully. But there's so much rubbish out there you have to find the stuff that works.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck.
THEORY
n
1. a system of rules, procedures, and assumptions used to produce a result
2. abstract knowledge or reasoning
3. a speculative or conjectural view or idea: I have a theory about that.
4. an ideal or hypothetical situation (esp in the phrase in theory)
5. a set of hypotheses related by logical or mathematical arguments to explain and predict
a wide variety of connected phenomena in general terms: the theory of relativity.
6. a nontechnical name for hypothesis
from Late Latin theōria, from Greek: a sight, from theōrein to gaze upon
HYPOTHESIS
1. A tentative explanation for an observation, phenomenon, or scientific problem
that can be tested by further investigation.
2. Something taken to be true for the purpose of argument or investigation; an assumption.
3. The antecedent of a conditional statement.
Latin, subject for a speech
from Greek hupothesis, proposal, supposition, from hupotithenai, hupothe-, to suppose : hupo-, hypo- + tithenai