Random Thoughts, strictly Text

Hkk

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I don’t know for sure he will return but Venus will touch his Gemini planets and he’s come back twice so far. This time I will tell him no. No more excuses for him. Although I’m still tempted to have his babies. It’s like a karmic pull or something.

Is it the north and south nodes for both of u. Must be some aspect there ......
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Under stable to get upset. You are human and knowing he’s gone on a dating website will feel like disrespect but you’re stronger than that **** U.K. so good on you! Once you see that kind of **** you know how to handle it, which is what u are doing.

I’m feeling down right now. It’s not nice being messed about, makes you feel worthless and plays with your head. But it’s good I stood up for myself and didn’t accept being disrespected, he was trying to get me to accept it like it was ok. But I’m feeling very deflated and unwanted. It’ll be the hangover too but it’s not nice when someone plays with your emotions. There’s so much violence in this works like people trying to take bites out of you to make themselves stronger.
 

Hkk

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I’m feeling down right now. It’s not nice being messed about, makes you feel worthless and plays with your head. But it’s good I stood up for myself and didn’t accept being disrespected, he was trying to get me to accept it like it was ok. But I’m feeling very deflated and unwanted. It’ll be the hangover too but it’s not nice when someone plays with your emotions. There’s so much violence in this works like people trying to take bites out of you to make themselves stronger.

Oh noooo uk. I could tell you not to feel down but easier said than done, right.
I know how u feel.

It’s like u said before they are damaged inside and ppl like that will never be happy. But I know you won’t feel satisfied with knowing someone else won’t be happy but this is my point. I’m not trying to make I feel better using someone else’s problems but what we sometimes don’t realise is that most of these ppl that hurt others usually is some kind of mental illness.
They hurt someone to get satisfied and feel good all Be it temporarily. I mean I would feel like **** knowing I messed with someone’s head on purpose. How can that make u feel good? The wrong ones always feel like good ones but they are nothing but narcissistic. I don’t know why I have a **** love life but one thing I know is that most the time especially in the past I choose the wrong ones
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Oh noooo uk. I could tell you not to feel down but easier said than done, right.
I know how u feel.

It’s like u said before they are damaged inside and ppl like that will never be happy. But I know you won’t feel satisfied with knowing someone else won’t be happy but this is my point. I’m not trying to make I feel better using someone else’s problems but what we sometimes don’t realise is that most of these ppl that hurt others usually is some kind of mental illness.
They hurt someone to get satisfied and feel good all Be it temporarily. I mean I would feel like **** knowing I messed with someone’s head on purpose. How can that make u feel good? The wrong ones always feel like good ones but they are nothing but narcissistic. I don’t know why I have a **** love life but one thing I know is that most the time especially in the past I choose the wrong ones

Yes to choosing the wrong ones. My dad was emotionally unavailable and I fall for those types. It seems karmic too, like we genuinely had an insane connection but he just happens to be emotionally unavailable. I think I need to learn that love is like a drug to me. It stops me feeling bored and helps me ignore how I actually feel about my life. I’m not going through a bad time but I also don’t have many people or things to live for. Just myself and working towards my education goals. Love is a distraction from the reality that my life is boring and empty. It’s probably the same for him, he wants a distraction from his thoughts and how he feels inside, makes sense why he said dating apps keep him sane because it’s to avoid facing himself. The whole thing between me and him is an illusion. I should let it go.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Wow.

‘For instance the higher vibration of the 11 is to guide and heal other people and treat everyone as a soul mate that is worthy of unconditional love. The lower vibration of the 2 is more about focusing on someone else full time rather than just yourself. Addiction, codependency and obsession are part of the Master 11's shadow side. Some 11s spend their entire lives mourning the past or chasing an emotionally unavailable individual. They entirely squander the potential to make something better of their life’
 

Hkk

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Yes to choosing the wrong ones. My dad was emotionally unavailable and I fall for those types. It seems karmic too, like we genuinely had an insane connection but he just happens to be emotionally unavailable. I think I need to learn that love is like a drug to me. It stops me feeling bored and helps me ignore how I actually feel about my life. I’m not going through a bad time but I also don’t have many people or things to live for. Just myself and working towards my education goals. Love is a distraction from the reality that my life is boring and empty. It’s probably the same for him, he wants a distraction from his thoughts and how he feels inside, makes sense why he said dating apps keep him sane because it’s to avoid facing himself. The whole thing between me and him is an illusion. I should let it go.

Move on. If you’re the type that feels deeply or eats their feeling best way to move on is get a rebound and have some fun then miracles might happen.

I need to listen to my own advice
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Move on. If you’re the type that feels deeply or eats their feeling best way to move on is get a rebound and have some fun then miracles might happen.

I need to listen to my own advice

Yeah I’m feeling more rational this morning, the numerology quote helped cement things. Like codependency being a shadow behaviour and I should be giving unconditional love to everyone and not obsessing over one.

I did go on a date, I don’t like him that much though.
 

Hkk

Account Closed
Yes to choosing the wrong ones. My dad was emotionally unavailable and I fall for those types. It seems karmic too, like we genuinely had an insane connection but he just happens to be emotionally unavailable. I think I need to learn that love is like a drug to me. It stops me feeling bored and helps me ignore how I actually feel about my life. I’m not going through a bad time but I also don’t have many people or things to live for. Just myself and working towards my education goals. Love is a distraction from the reality that my life is boring and empty. It’s probably the same for him, he wants a distraction from his thoughts and how he feels inside, makes sense why he said dating apps keep him sane because it’s to avoid facing himself. The whole thing between me and him is an illusion. I should let it go.

Only you know the right answer in your gut. Sounds like me when you say about love is a drug. My Venus is in sag and my progression Venus is in cap which is my sun. I take it all so seriously.
Feelings aren’t illusion but maybe the situation is. I mean, in my head when I meet someone new i feel big it up in my own head than it actually is. An idealism.
 

Hkk

Account Closed
Wow.

‘For instance the higher vibration of the 11 is to guide and heal other people and treat everyone as a soul mate that is worthy of unconditional love. The lower vibration of the 2 is more about focusing on someone else full time rather than just yourself. Addiction, codependency and obsession are part of the Master 11's shadow side. Some 11s spend their entire lives mourning the past or chasing an emotionally unavailable individual. They entirely squander the potential to make something better of their life’

What does this mean ......
 

Hkk

Account Closed
Yeah I’m feeling more rational this morning, the numerology quote helped cement things. Like codependency being a shadow behaviour and I should be giving unconditional love to everyone and not obsessing over one.

I did go on a date, I don’t like him that much though.

Aah yes u did but maybe you should give him a go still. Like I said lol I need to listen to my own advice. I thrill in drama. But when I meet someone if I don’t ‘get that feeling’ I knock it on the head. But sometimes that feeling can develop etc and be more important and real love... this is the mistake I make. Looking back on the people I turned down due to having an idealism and the ‘ the way it’s supposed to be or had no butterfly’s, I kind of feel what would have happened if we took it further, if I gave them a chance but I suppose if it’s not meant to be then it’s not meant to be. You can still try with new walkies date man?
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Aah yes u did but maybe you should give him a go still. Like I said lol I need to listen to my own advice. I thrill in drama. But when I meet someone if I don’t ‘get that feeling’ I knock it on the head. But sometimes that feeling can develop etc and be more important and real love... this is the mistake I make. Looking back on the people I turned down due to having an idealism and the ‘ the way it’s supposed to be or had no butterfly’s, I kind of feel what would have happened if we took it further, if I gave them a chance but I suppose if it’s not meant to be then it’s not meant to be. You can still try with new walkies date man?

Walkies date man :lol: we are going another walk tomorrow.

Yeah that first initial butterfly feeling, is that not what it’s meant to be like? That’s what it was the first guy, insanely good. But it’s an illusion because love is definitely more realistic, like you have to make a choice and be open and willing to commit. It got confusing because the first guy said he was ‘scared’ but then acts like a player. His Moon is in Gemini but it’s an illusion without the openness and willingness.

Maybe talking about this with me will make you want to try dating again?
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
What does this mean ......

That was a quote from a numerology thread I made. It made a lot of sense. Richard Burton also had 11. He was a talented thespian who famously met Elizabeth Taylor on the set of Cleopatra. Even though it is an infamous love affair, the reality was they were both alcoholics and there was violence, addiction, cheating, general dysfunction. Have you ever seen the movie Cleopatra though? You can see the chemistry in their performance together. But because he gave in to the shadow, co-dependency and additive behaviour, he sickened himself. Or as he would have said, he became hubris and ‘flew too close to the sun,’

Life imitating art - Cleopatra
- https://youtu.be/rfTV8aUQyBY
 

Hkk

Account Closed
Walkies date man :lol: we are going another walk tomorrow.

Yeah that first initial butterfly feeling, is that not what it’s meant to be like? That’s what it was the first guy, insanely good. But it’s an illusion because love is definitely more realistic, like you have to make a choice and be open and willing to commit. It got confusing because the first guy said he was ‘scared’ but then acts like a player. His Moon is in Gemini but it’s an illusion without the openness and willingness.

Maybe talking about this with me will make you want to try dating again?

Something my friend said opened my eyes and my ears pricked up like a cartoon lol..... I told my mom and she agreed too.
We were in a restaurant having a curry and in the table behind us there were this couple. Holding hands all loved up. Must be in their 40’s and I wanted to burst out laughing as every time she got up to go to the loo he kissed her as if he was saying goodbye but she came back! My friend turned around and said that’s the other woman. No way is that his partner! That’s not what happens!!
Now she is happily married with 2 kids and another on its way and he very much loves her as I’ve seen it. I’ve seen them together.
So I told my mom and she said that’s true. And I was like but what about true love. She said that true love is out there but love is different and not like that bollocks. She said and my friend agreed that there is more to love than all that. So the butterfly thing happens later and all the other Richard Burton stuff is bad for us.

I’ve not watched the film but will watch it and see for myself as I like all that kind of stuff.

I went on a dating site recently: pof. And it was rammed full of men more than ever. Due to Covid and not getting any I suppose. Met someone off it but text only. Due for a chat later on tonight on the phone. Couldn’t last night as needed to sit with family due to sad news from indian ☹️ And I was in shock

I really do want to meet someone but I stop due to feeling the fake energy
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
The fake energy is similar to that connection thing to me. Without a connection it’s really hard to, connect. There is a mild chemistry with walkies dude, enough to see him again but I don’t think I could settle for lack of connection, so if it grows it grows. A lack of connection means people marry for other reasons besides passion, like security or tradition. That’s not me. It’s just the player guy is an extreme version of a connection and he’s unavailable.

You don’t want to fly too close to the sun but you don’t want to avoid the sun either?

I read your post on chatter n natter, I hope you and your family will be ok. Was it corona?
 

Hkk

Account Closed
The fake energy is similar to that connection thing to me. Without a connection it’s really hard to, connect. There is a mild chemistry with walkies dude, enough to see him again but I don’t think I could settle for lack of connection, so if it grows it grows. A lack of connection means people marry for other reasons besides passion, like security or tradition. That’s not me. It’s just the player guy is an extreme version of a connection and he’s unavailable.

You don’t want to fly too close to the sun but you don’t want to avoid the sun either?

I read your post on chatter n natter, I hope you and your family will be ok. Was it corona?

Thanks U.K. that’s kind of you to say xx we don’t know yet. My Aunty was suffering from a stroke for years but not sure yet what it was in the end.

I like what you said about the sun. True stuff U.K.
keep looking and keep your options open
 

Hkk

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The fake energy is similar to that connection thing to me. Without a connection it’s really hard to, connect. There is a mild chemistry with walkies dude, enough to see him again but I don’t think I could settle for lack of connection, so if it grows it grows. A lack of connection means people marry for other reasons besides passion, like security or tradition. That’s not me. It’s just the player guy is an extreme version of a connection and he’s unavailable.

You don’t want to fly too close to the sun but you don’t want to avoid the sun either?

I read your post on chatter n natter, I hope you and your family will be ok. Was it corona?

U.K., have u heard of sternbergs theory on love ?
 
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