Why do I feel insecure?

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
I know the title says "depress me," but insecure is more accurate. It's about my current exclusive relationship. If possible I'd prefer not to get into any nitty gritties.

Also, I'm not sold on the idea that the 7th house always accurately represents the other. Sometimes I read 7H interpretations and feel they fit me way better than the usual ASC. Meaning I think the energy of the chart can go either way and it's up to us to match who's who.

Cap ASC, at 27 degrees. Moon Via Combusta in Libra at 18 degrees. This specific placement is in the degree of Virgo, in Libra, and instantly made me think of how I wish my body was different. Venus is also me, I was at his work and just got home. We talked a lot. Moon is combusta because we both went home for the night, he's in the late degrees of Cap indicating he's done for the day and tired. I know he's going to bed.

Sun and Mercury in Cancer too, Mercury combust under Sun's rays - not seeing things clearly. Funny because my friend says it's the other way around too and he should feel lucky I gave him a second glance. Totally fits for other reasons as well. No, he's not the World's Most Terrible Boyfriend. Our relationship needs tweaking and it's frustrating sometimes. I know how to "do," not "tweak."

I think he is more appropriate being the Cap ASC. He's someone who has a heavy past, a lot of responsibilities, and bone issues. I think he is thinking a lot about his future.

I see Moon just left a recent square with Mercury and both are in cardinal signs albeit feminine signs. It makes me wonder if there are things left unsaid that both of us want to say. L3 is in Cancer, and Moon is in Libra. This would make me think about a relationship talk or perhaps about feelings. ASC L3 Jupiter is in Capricorn, Moon's detriment - not expressing feelings.

OK so basically is this pointing towards the fact I am waiting for him to tell me he loves me? I am not saying it, and he says sweet things but not "it." Veering off the question and raising more, I know. That's me. : / Also I see all four angles are in cardinal signs so it looks like things will move in A direction for better or worse. Moon is also in Saturn's exaltation too.


http://imgur.com/a/AHZeBMi
 
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tikana

Well-known member
Lovely

I know what you are asking.

Lemme take a whack at it

you are saturn retro lord of 1st
saturn's fall and detriment tell you what is afflicting you
with aqua saturn we only get Sun

also we need to look at anythng within the orb pulling in and taking off
Jupiter is coming in and Mars leaving Saturn. yes, sextile BUT look at that Aries Mars Aries. Depending on a house it will tell you if it is friendly or not. Normally aries mars hates saturnian energy despite the sextile. you need receptions which you dont really have another pressure cooker is malefic jupiter
it is heavier pull. which houses it rules in regio chart?

So you need to look at Jup/mars/sun
 

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
Jupiter rules 2nd (Pisces) and 11th in Regio chart, and Aquarius / Leo is intercepted on the 1st / 7th axis. Aries rules L3.

And I see now Saturn is in Sun's detriment and Moon is in Sun's fall, and Mars' detriment

...but Mars is in Sun's exaltation, and Jupiter is in Mars' exaltation...

Mars likes Sun, and Sun likes Jup because it's in Jup's exaltation.

And Moon is also in Saturn's exaltation.

Moon and Saturn receive each other by triplicity, no?
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
You are the querent, so you are the ascendent. Sorry.
Your ruler is Saturn, and strong by sign, retrograde (introspective), and we know Saturn and Capricorn are not signs known for their self confidence and self esteem.
And Saturn is sitting right on the ascendent, putting pressure on you.
We also see pluto in the 12th of the subconscious, ruler of the midheaven, pluto the ruler of the underworld, likes to dig and dig until it has thrown it all down to get to the bottom, and then rebuilds with more strength. This is the mental psychological work you are doing now.
Moon is in via combust, in the sign of libra the partner, ruling his house where we see cancer.
Moon will square pluto and then retrograde Jupiter. Very soul searching and spiritual, and painful until you come to a conclusion.
Chiron is the asteroid of insecurity, and the 2nd house of self esteem is what it is stimulating now. Neptune also of low self esteem is there, and mars, ruler of your 3rd of thoughts and your midheaven.
This is an important period for you, if you use it carefully you can learn a tremendous amount about yourself and your inner workings.
No pain, no gain they say. This is your situation. It is all pushing you to go there to the unknown depths and dig and dig.
That retrograde Jupiter just entered into the 12th rules the 2nd of self esteem. So, with moon's last aspect to Jupiter, you will "see the light", you will come out of the battlefield, and learn to have more faith in yourself and love yourself more. At that point you will also have more to give to others.
 

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
In the chart it looks like Pluto, Jupiter are still in the 1st, but are you saying they're in the 12th because they're behind Saturn in Aquarius?
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
No they are in the 12th.
Your chart was confusing for me, so I used a different format, but you can see the ascendent remains 27 Capricorn, and you can easier see they are in 12th.
 

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Chrysalis

Well-known member
You are Asc at 27° Capricorn, this is a pitted degree, which is making you feel restricted and powerless.

The most elevated planet of the chart is moon, which just happens to be L7. Moon squares you/Asc by sign and house. This shows you feel disempowered by your L7 situation which causes your insecurities.
 

Chrysalis

Well-known member
No, its certain degrees through all of the signs that are either pitted or elevated degrees. 27° just happens to be a pitted degree.
 

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
Saturn is sitting right on the ascendent, putting pressure on you.
We also see pluto in the 12th of the subconscious, ruler of the midheaven, pluto the ruler of the underworld, likes to dig and dig until it has thrown it all down to get to the bottom, and then rebuilds with more strength. This is the mental psychological work you are doing now.

That retrograde Jupiter just entered into the 12th rules the 2nd of self esteem. So, with moon's last aspect to Jupiter, you will "see the light", you will come out of the battlefield, and learn to have more faith in yourself and love yourself more. At that point you will also have more to give to others.

I mean, I feel like I've analyzed myself to death. It's exhausting and feels stagnant at this point, BUT the comment you made about pressure makes so much sense. I feel pressure to not lose my s*it or risk pushing him away further. Ah, okay, this is making me grow in patience then? And true, Capricorn and Saturn are reliable but not the best cheerleaders.
 

LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
you are saturn retro lord of 1st
saturn's fall and detriment tell you what is afflicting you
with aqua saturn we only get Sun

also we need to look at anythng within the orb pulling in and taking off
Jupiter is coming in and Mars leaving Saturn. yes, sextile BUT look at that Aries Mars. Depending on a house it will tell you if it is friendly or not. Normally aries mars hates saturnian energy despite the sextile. you need receptions which you dont really have another pressure cooker is malefic jupiter
it is heavier pull. which houses it rules in regio chart?

So you need to look at Jup/mars/sun

Aries rules my 3rd house in Regio. Mars is in Aries in the 2nd house. Through the whole chart I see a theme of communication being the issue. Sun in Cancer in a cadent house, turned L12, combust with Mercury. Moon is in Libra and then trace Venus back to Gemini in the 4th to Mercury in Cancer. Moon via combusta square my L2 ruler and his turned L5 ruler. I think it overall points to a lack of interest that's going not mentioned.

ETA: ALSO Being Sun and Mercury are combust in turned L12, and Venus is in Gemini, Moon via combusta in Libra just made me think maybe his mother is influencing him?
 
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LovelyMissAries

Well-known member
I'm just attaching the chart here 'cause... why make a new thread on it :Andy:

Deborah Goulding stated use 4th house for mother in law, so I assume it's the same for your S.O.'s parents?

L4 is ruled by Venus = Gemini, which turns to Sun / Mercury in Cancer in turned 12 from L7. I also see Moon / Uranus there as maybe arguments behind closed doors. His L3 is also ruled by Venus. He has a younger sister too (like in her late 20s.)

Venus is separating from a trine with me, Saturn, but the reception I don't think is there. It is either they don't know enough about me or I need to be more talkative when I'm around them (same diff.)
 

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