Help me plz idont wanna die..

Hello everyone i need your help please... because i dont have another help now and i thino my life is in danger.. I really need your help ... I am currently in a relationship with someone who makes me wrong. It may be too late ... I'm in my worst year for life, a lot of things are happening justice, relationship, I feel in a state where I do not even if I have to trust what I think or what others tell me. This morning I saw my solar revolution ... and I have a lot of doubt about the fidelity of my spouse, my life is a chaos presently I am far from my family my friends I do not know what to do ... I discovered astrology and I found myself a passion for the time pass because I do not work not as I say above I am in a very average state, the worst year until I feel I am alone, I need to see clearly because I want to do my life, and I do not know or what to do no money and I believe that the person who is in my life hurts me or wants me harm, or even go to murder. :triste: im feeling so ridiculous right now because I don't think if I'm crazy skizo or if that is real, I don't have much talent for understand chart but I now that base. :confus::confus:

My natal with transit and My solar return https://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_246ast_anonymous_2018830.79064.31943.png&res=100

My solar return only

https://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_32ast_anonymous_2018830.79446.39604.png&res=100

Same for my boy
https://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_246ast_anonymous_2018830.79214.34808.png&res=100


Synastry me and my boy
https://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=f&gif=astro_61ast_anonymous_anonymous.78993.30716.png&res=100


He has a friend, that's weird, I think he is a important player for him or me, I don't know :triste

Solar to his friend
https://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_246ast_anonymous_2018830.79307.36775.png&res=100

Me and her friend synastry because. Think he's important...

https://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=f&gif=astro_61ast_anonymous_anonymous.78936.29629.png&res=100

And synastry of 2boy

https://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=f&gif=astro_61ast_anonymous_anonymous.78035.14906.png&res=100

I speak French but I speak English to , my englsih it's not very good but I understand..

If you need more info , I'm very alone and I don't know what I'm doing , or I'm just crazy...
Thanks you if you take a time for me it's important to me and I'm very thankful to all :triste:

I'm sorry that you're feeling so badly about your life right now. You posted on the medical astrology board. Have you got a medical astrology question? Are you asking about your mental health?