bf proposing

Runa

Runa

Member
My bf has been mentioning marriage, engagement especially, and we've been together about a year. There was an instant magnetic connection and it feels right. I am trans, and that is a hurdle we are trying to jump over. I have met his sister and brother, albeit tentatively, and it's gone very smoothly. Nobody has said anything. I do have anxiety about meeting his parents, as I do not know too much about them, if they were cold or if they're traditional, or if I should take something they offer, or reject it. In my own vietnamese culture, not accepting out of kindness is rude. Our fights can get really intense, but I am very happy with him. Aside from some things that linger in the back of my head about his fidelity (based on his sexual drive), and his horrid sense of time, i am very happy and grateful. his family is from turkey. it's just a crazy merge of different races and sexuality, we will be compared to his siblings and their significant others- and i cannot have children- it's a lot. is there something in our chart i should know? i would rather avoid something that wont work out..
 

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rahu

Banned
hi Runa
the composite chart has the juno/jupiter midpoint opposed to mars which reinforces his desire for a marriage.
but truthfully, there is alot of darkness in the composite chart .
venus is square to pluto. this often shows that sexuakity is more important than love in a relationship. it is often associted with very inrense sexuak attrqaction but because it is essentially a physicla attraction, emotional bonding can be weak or non existent. in this case the sexualk intensity can subside and i have seen marriages with this aspect that over the years morphed into celibacy .
there is a very"karmic" feel to this compsite as the venus/pluto midpoint is opposed to liltih and square to the vertex. this is extemely otherworldly. it very often makes you feel as destiny has brought you together.in addition, you both may have had very usually or paranormal experiences in your lives that you could never think anyone would understand.... but you two do understand because you both have had experiences that made you feel your life was fated in some way. this can be a unifying factor because of the ususal similarities you have both experienced.

jupiter is opposed to eris which shows the passion with which he has for a comitted relationship. this tends to addjoy to the relationship but it also bring jealousy into the picture.
　
as the ersi/jupiter opposition is ssquar eto the neptuen/uranus conjunction, the physical passion is really strong and almost "transcendanent". the passions can be totally overwheloning and thenfluence ofneptune anduranus can bring supernatural phsycial sensations.
but this aspect is also highly unstable. it canshow sudden passion that does not last even though the "karmic"internsity would make you think this willlast for ever.so it canleadto unexpected partings.sometimes this can lead to off and on relationships.
here with the composite moon/sun mdpoint square to uranus and neptune also, the relatioship will always have this unreal inrensity, but with the possibility of being off and on and the possiblity of breakup.
　
with saturn conjunct to eros and square to pluto,ixion and psyche , there is a very dark emotional dynamic as this is a very domineering and controlling aspect.in addition with eros/square to psyche and pluto square to saturn, there may be a elements of S/M in the emotional make up,as this pattern shows a interest in the connection between pleasure and pain.though this could relate to the social challenges you have to wade through, because of your unique sexual orientations.
　
rahu
 
Runa

Runa

Member
thanks rahu. that transcendent other worldly connection makes me want to marry him. who knows if i will ever find someone who i feel like i've met multiple times in past lives. but we fight sometimes, and those fights are really bad. i always say i can't do it, it's too hard. but then the next day, it's like nothing happened. feels like i am teetering between marriage with this karmic connection, or leaving him so that i can pursue the spiritual path without judgment. the connection makes me feel so loved and lucky.. this is a rare connection.. but i also want to become a vegetarian, and study spiritual texts but i can't really change so much when we live together, eat together, sleep together.. we are still young, in our mid 20's, so the connection pulled us together, and we had a month or two of intense honey moon, then intense fights for a few more months, then we settled into a typical mother-father/husband wife domestic routine for the last like 10 months.. i have lost my sexual drive gradually, so i have avoided sex for a few months. i feel like i have more time to read without the sex drive, but he has to pleasure himself frequently. eventually would this not lead to infidelity? i do feel guilty even though he says it's not a big deal. to leave or not... is a tough decision.

thank you rahu, much prayers to you. i am very grateful
 
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Sofiamiddle

Sofiamiddle

Well-known member
rahu said:
hi Runa
the composite chart has the juno/jupiter midpoint opposed to mars which reinforces his desire for a marriage.
but truthfully, there is alot of darkness in the composite chart .
venus is square to pluto. this often shows that sexuakity is more important than love in a relationship. it is often associted with very inrense sexuak attrqaction but because it is essentially a physicla attraction, emotional bonding can be weak or non existent. in this case the sexualk intensity can subside and i have seen marriages with this aspect that over the years morphed into celibacy .
there is a very"karmic" feel to this compsite as the venus/pluto midpoint is opposed to liltih and square to the vertex. this is extemely otherworldly. it very often makes you feel as destiny has brought you together.in addition, you both may have had very usually or paranormal experiences in your lives that you could never think anyone would understand.... but you two do understand because you both have had experiences that made you feel your life was fated in some way. this can be a unifying factor because of the ususal similarities you have both experienced.

jupiter is opposed to eris which shows the passion with which he has for a comitted relationship. this tends to addjoy to the relationship but it also bring jealousy into the picture.
　
as the ersi/jupiter opposition is ssquar eto the neptuen/uranus conjunction, the physical passion is really strong and almost "transcendanent". the passions can be totally overwheloning and thenfluence ofneptune anduranus can bring supernatural phsycial sensations.
but this aspect is also highly unstable. it canshow sudden passion that does not last even though the "karmic"internsity would make you think this willlast for ever.so it canleadto unexpected partings.sometimes this can lead to off and on relationships.
here with the composite moon/sun mdpoint square to uranus and neptune also, the relatioship will always have this unreal inrensity, but with the possibility of being off and on and the possiblity of breakup.
　
with saturn conjunct to eros and square to pluto,ixion and psyche , there is a very dark emotional dynamic as this is a very domineering and controlling aspect.in addition with eros/square to psyche and pluto square to saturn, there may be a elements of S/M in the emotional make up,as this pattern shows a interest in the connection between pleasure and pain.though this could relate to the social challenges you have to wade through, because of your unique sexual orientations.
　
rahu
Click to expand...

I’m not understanding the Pluto square venus in the composite because I have seen many happy married couples have that sooo....... Many factors come into play. NOTHING is accurate, it’s simple as that. Follow your heart Runa!
 
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rahu

Banned
Runa said:
thanks rahu. that transcendent other worldly connection makes me want to marry him. who knows if i will ever find someone who i feel like i've met multiple times in past lives. but we fight sometimes, and those fights are really bad. i always say i can't do it, it's too hard. but then the next day, it's like nothing happened. feels like i am teetering between marriage with this karmic connection, or leaving him so that i can pursue the spiritual path without judgment. the connection makes me feel so loved and lucky.. this is a rare connection.. but i also want to become a vegetarian, and study spiritual texts but i can't really change so much when we live together, eat together, sleep together.. we are still young, in our mid 20's, so the connection pulled us together, and we had a month or two of intense honey moon, then intense fights for a few more months, then we settled into a typical mother-father/husband wife domestic routine for the last like 10 months.. i have lost my sexual drive gradually, so i have avoided sex for a few months. i feel like i have more time to read without the sex drive, but he has to pleasure himself frequently. eventually would this not lead to infidelity? i do feel guilty even though he says it's not a big deal. to leave or not... is a tough decision.

thank you rahu, much prayers to you. i am very grateful
Click to expand...

hi again

you noticed of course that i mentioned the loss of sexual desire as one of the pitfalls of pluto.
your situation is turning out exactly as i cautioned.....the sexual chemistry between you lacked emotional bonding... this is why you have lost interest in sex....sex has become divorced from your emotional needs.

you are very striking physically and i have to assume that is the major attraction to you from your BF. but he clearly is in lust for you physically but has no capacity to sincerely love some one for their inner self.

and then with the months of argument and months of reconciliation....this does not seem like a healthy or successful relationship to me.

i would suggest breaking up. but you must be very careful. as i mentioned the composite has aspects that master/submissive dynamics. with pluto and Saturn combined with eros and psyche, the possibility exist for a very dangerous and possibly destructive breakup. my opinion is that from what you have shared, the relationship will not get better.

rahu
 
W

watcherofthesouth

Well-known member
I'm going to have to agree with Rahu (although Sofiamiddle's comment made me breathe a sigh of relief since my own relationship has Pluto/Venus square! However I'd agree that there is an imbalance with w emotional needs).

I would not settle, Runa. I think back to right before I got married (I am now divorced after 12 years) and I now see the warning signs I shouldn't have ignored. Your intuition is your best asset - use it!! Remember, you are the boss of your destiny. Don't allow others to take charge of it because of their needs and wants. That's not your problem.
 
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Runa

Runa

Member
rahu said:
hi again

you noticed of course that i mentioned the loss of sexual desire as one of the pitfalls of pluto.
your situation is turning out exactly as i cautioned.....the sexual chemistry between you lacked emotional bonding... this is why you have lost interest in sex....sex has become divorced from your emotional needs.

you are very striking physically and i have to assume that is the major attraction to you from your BF. but he clearly is in lust for you physically but has no capacity to sincerely love some one for their inner self.

and then with the months of argument and months of reconciliation....this does not seem like a healthy or successful relationship to me.

i would suggest breaking up. but you must be very careful. as i mentioned the composite has aspects that master/submissive dynamics. with pluto and Saturn combined with eros and psyche, the possibility exist for a very dangerous and possibly destructive breakup. my opinion is that from what you have shared, the relationship will not get better.

rahu
Click to expand...

Thank you everyone for the support. I have been glazing over the warning signs, and told myself this is my soulmate. Because it feels like it. I told myself the hard times were life lessons, growth, compromise. I think I lost myself a bit. He tells me he does not believe I am real. That I am his living fantasy. But I can see it’s for my physical appearance. Thank you. You are right Rahu. I do need to be careful about breaking up. At first it was just me naturally being submissive, and him gradually becoming more sexually aggressive and idk trying to be an alpha male. And over time it kinda went deeper and deeper. I am at fault as well, since I don’t tell him to stop. It’s kind of like objectively he lost his sexual sanity and became more aggressive and more cocky in his time with me. He has told me about some of the pornography he watches, and some make me blood run cold. Maybe men are like this? Perhaps I over nurtured? I wonder if it was also because of me, since I have really bad boundary issues... thank you so much. time for a change of scenery..
 
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