My (Serious Lack of) Harmonious Relationships?

inhuman_meow

Active member
I've been becoming increasingly bothered by the lack of harmonious relationships in my school and home life. I'm a junior in high school but I've had this problem since I was 6 or 7. I really just can't get along with others in my class and family, excluding my friends and teachers (whom I can charm the pants off of), and I'm severely unhappy with my friends. People who don't know me ask why I look so mean, and people do/say things that upset me and then walk away whispering to their friends that I have an attitude problem. I have a tendency of having a "'You're either one of us or one of them'/'I wanna talk to you or not'" attitude, and I often say things that can hurt/offend/annoy other people, like talking too much (or too little) or being a little harsh/sarcastic (more so when I give opinions or someone has said something to upset me). But when I try to be more circumspect or conciliatory with what I say and do, people begin to think I'm uptight or stuck up. Because of these reasons I'm seen by strangers as a "quiet"/"serious"/"mean"/"weird" girl. I have a few friends and more than a few aquaintances, but I don't enjoy their company most of the time. I just don't feel a strong bond/connection to any of them, which bothers me with us having been friends for 2-3 years. I can't really tell if it's me or them (it's probably a mix).

I've tried going it on my own but since nothing I do seems to work, I'm turning to you guys. I don't really care about making friends with the kids in my high school but I'm worried this trend will continue on to college and beyond, where my relationships with other people and strangers will (I don't want to say "actually matter...") affect my career and (social, romantic) opportunities, etc. I'm just wondering whether there's something in my chart that predisposes me to sucky relationships with people.

So yeah...I'm just wondering what insight you guys might gleam from my chart that I'm missing.

astro_2gw_05_jessica_d264389.jpg
 
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Derestanne

Well-known member
Hi Inhuman,

I can offer a "short version" and a limited explanation. There is more to your story but someone else can add to the details.

There are four planets / asteroids that are primarily responsible for your relationship problems. These are Venus in Aries in your 1st House, Mars in Gemini in your 3rd House, Chiron in Cancer in your 4th House and Uranus in Capricorn conjunct your MC. Your Chiron Squares your Ascendant and your Venus. Chiron also opposes your Uranus. Mars in the 3rd creates a great deal of difficulty communicating with people; they may believe that you dominate conversations, even if the opposite is true. The net effect of all of these placements and aspects is that you are perceived by others as being aggressive, crude, out-of-place, a rebel and a lone wolf (moon in Sagittarius doesn't help this problem either).

You are Sun Piscean, conjunct Mercury in the 12th House. I see some very simple remedies for your problems both right now and for your long term future as well. You should be seeking out people who share your spiritual values, are open minded and non-judgmental type persons and you should look to others who are "underdog - outcast" type people. Do not let yourself fall into the trap of assuming anything or making judgments about people until you take the time to see what they are really made of.

In my opinion, you are not going to find what you yourself need in people who are locked into the "sheep - flock" way of thinking and living. You need to seek out those who think outside the box because of what they have experienced first hand in their own life.

You will want to be careful with that Uranus in Capricorn of yours. A quote from Astrologer Isabel Hickey, "...Uranus is the Planet of change and Capricorn hates change. So there is conflict....One side of the nature resents not being free. The other side is conventional, traditional and stuffy and wants to stick it to the status quo. One side clings to the past while part of the individual is trying to go forward into the future."

My comment: The symbol for Pisces, your Sun Sign, is two fishes swimming in opposite directions. This is certainly evident with your Uranus in Capricorn. In this life you are clearly challenging those fishes of yours to "get their act together!".

Continuing Isabel Hickey: "...The health is affected if the person doesn't resolve the conflict by deciding whether he / she is going to be a Saturnian or Uranian. He can not have it both ways".

But perhaps you can decide to be a "Revolutionary with Direction" or maybe a "Manager who is focused on future developments".

My final comment to you is that you are clearly oriented toward high philosophical leanings and knowledge. If you can stay focused, you could certainly become an accomplished Astrologer and I urge you to apply your time to the goal of acquiring knowledge and of finding good uses for it.
 

wilsontc

Staff member
astro-translation, to meow

meow,

You said:
I really just can't get along with others in my class and family, excluding my friends and teachers (whom I can charm the pants off of), and I'm severely unhappy with my friends..I don't really care about making friends with the kids in my high school but I'm worried this trend will continue on to college and beyond, where my relationships with other people and strangers will (I don't want to say "actually matter...") affect my career and (social, romantic) opportunities, etc.

First of all, as long as you can "charm the pants off of" your bosses and other authority figures (such as your teachers), you will be OK in the business world! :)

Let me translate a little of the "astrologese" into some things you can understand.

You have Gemini (thinking, also talking) modifying Mars (being, also anger) focused in the 3rd house (thinking, also talking), so you are seen as an "angry talker"...even if you are trying to "keep cool". You have Uranus (friends, also rebellion) conjunct (energy is combined with) the Midheaven (outer world), so you rebel against the outer world...or APPEAR to everyone to rebel against the outer world. Your teachers might find this "adventurous"...but others may find it "annoying", especially if you are rebelling against THEIR outer world. You have Scorpio (transformation, also control) modifying Pluto (transformation, also control) focused in the 8th house (transformation, also control) so you have a STRONG need to be in control of things. You have Mercury (thinking, also talking/daily work) focused in the 12th house (spirituality, also confusion) so you may be confused about what you are saying or doing.

You have a "Universal" chart (more planets are focused in houses 9-12), so you focus on the things BEYOND the personal and relational.

ALL of these things can be worked with and developed:
- You can use your Mars energy to be active in your speaking
- You can use your Uranus energy to restructure the outer world
- You can use your Pluto energy to do deep research (also related to Pluto)
- You can use your Mercury energy to get a spiritual sense of how things "really are"

But all these things will take time. Right now you are a young person just getting used to using your own energy. Your parents also have a hold of your energy as they keep it for you until you are ready to use it when you go out on your own. Later, after your teenage years, through working through all these difficult experiences, you will discover your "challenges" are the source of your greatest strengths. :)

If you want to learn the astrological basics (and create your own "astrologese" from your astro-knowledge ;) ), go to the link below this posting.

Looking to the future,

Tim
 
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wilsontc

Staff member
Aries rising, to Ray

Ray,

You said:
Aries rising. Which shows a self expressive approach to life, you can approach life with a lot of physical and mental energy.

I agreed with everything else you said, but here I had some disagreement. Aries is about our "being" and the "actions" we take. Leo is about "self-expression", Taurus is about "physical", and Gemini is about "mental". So Aries (being, also action) modifying Ascendant (self) (i.e., "Aries rising") is about taking personal actions in life.

Nit-picking, ;)

Tim
 

StelliumGoat

Active member
I can't offer any advice on your chart inhuman_meow, but I understand where you're coming from. I've the same problem (and I thought I was the only one). I often think that somehow the whole thing is capricorn related. The only thing different for me is that I sometimes get along with older people,(I also get along with my parents) but I very rarely get along with someone my own age. I'm 19 by the way and have had the problem probably since I was 10 maybe even before 10. I'm trying to work on this problem of mine, but even right now in college things haven't changed much. By the way, I don't mean to come off sounding pessimistic (I, unfortunately come off that way) but perhaps we will, the both of us have better luck in the future when it comes to relationships.
 

inhuman_meow

Active member
Thank you everyone for your replies! Every little thing helps, and it helps even more to hear from real people instead of trying to learn exclusively from books.

StelliumGoat, don't worry about sounding pessimistic (I do it all the time and could probably pwn you in a pessimism contest :eek: ) and it's nice to know that someone else is going through the same thing. I wish you luck in improving your relationships.
 
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Pisceanfool

Well-known member
Yes well i have had tons of trouble if you read my other threads, and am curretnly in quite a sticky situation. I am just commenting because of my capricorn venus... in the 12th house seems to be a very tough position. So ya you're defintly not alone, my relationships are generally very one sided either way. Also, stelliumgoat what is it about capricorn that makes relationships so hard for young people... i have some ideas but still, i think you're right about it being easier when we get older. Alot of people my age are... i dont know... i just prefer to be by myself alot of times anymore.

Aries is a very different sign then pisces... and mars squaring your sun in gemini can't help much. I can't really help you other then say i know what you mean, my sister and my friend has the same venus(in aries with some harsh outer's aspects) and they can be extreamly harsh with thier words when they are angry. Also, my freind has the same aspect of neptune square making relationships generally confusing. You're square to Uranus makes them also unstable and with it alreaedy in aires so maybe very short and turbulent.

I also share the same aspect of sun/mercury in pisces trine pluto and scorpio... and man i dont know. It's intense, I can be seriously mean when i get mad and i have to hold back my passion most of the time(mars in the mix adds more energy for us). You can use this energy to change yourself drastically however. I also agree that spiritual pursuits will help you.

I hope this helps... i cant give much advice as to what to do thats just what i see.
 

inhuman_meow

Active member
Froggy said:
inhuman_meow -- I actually saw on your signature from another thread that you're a Pisces/Sag/Aries, and I am too, and I checked and you and I have our asc/mh/moon conjunct within a degree (our suns are a bit off though, but still pisces). But PHEW! (Also, strangely enough, that nebula picture you've got on your profile thingy, uhhhhhh that's definitely on my desktop. Freeeeaaaaky!)

Anywho, so then I clicked on your name and saw the title of this thread and was drawn to it, because I also have a bit of a problem in this area. We've also both got mercury in the 12th...you've got uranus conjunct your MH, I've got neptune on mine.

"I often say things that can hurt/offend/annoy other people, like talking too much (or too little) or being a little harsh/sarcastic (more so when I give opinions or someone has said something to upset me). But when I try to be more circumspect or conciliatory with what I say and do, people begin to think I'm uptight or stuck up. Because of these reasons I'm seen by strangers as a "quiet"/"serious"/"mean"/"weird" girl."

I tend to do that a lot as well. The talk too much/too little thing is a problem I have as well. And I know I have hurt people with some of the things I've said, and half the time, I don't even realize it. It's like I feel I'm either giving off a stuck-up vibe or am being too open with people, and I cannot find the right balance.

Friends-wise, I'd say I have six very close ones that I made in high school. And I'm almost done with college now, and, I'm not going to lie, I actually haven't made any true friends there. I AM still in touch with all six of my friends from high school, and go to college with a couple of them, but, basically I have not actually made new friends. I've tried, but, it just...it seems pointless to me, and nothing seems REAL (kinda like you said about not feeling that bond)...

Well I know I haven't exactly been a help on this post, but, I thought the similarities were interesting! Not everyday you meet your Sun/Moon/Asc/MH match!

Froggy-- XD I think our similarities are cool, in a freaky way, lol. Especially the nebula thing, lol. Why do you have a nebula on your desktop? XD And the friends situation sounds like me, though. If you don't mind, could you tell me more about yourself? What's your major in college, what are your hobbies? If not here, then in a PM?
 

LadyV

Well-known member
2 major aspects jump out at me on this one, first, Jupiter and Saturn oppose each other, which makes authority less tolerant of you, and as I was your age not too long ago I can understand the need to feel safe and at home in at least one place, whether it's at home or at school. You're not afraid to speak your mind, which is admirable, and you probably feel like it would help a lot of the rest of the world knew how to take it in a constructive way. Second, you have a t-square between your Moon, Sun/Mercury, and Mars, all in fixed signs. There is a conflict between your emotions, the way you express them, and the way you fight for them, and my feeling is the best way to overcome this is to try to not take it personally when people say things that rub you the wrong way, and of course I really need to take my own advice on this one as well.

What you really have going for you is your Uranus and Neptune forming sextiles with your Sun, and with Pluto(though with Pluto it's more of a generational thing than a personal one, my nieces are around the same age and one quality I've noticed they have is they are revolutionary and intelligent in a way that I find fabulous, but most people find scary). The fact that these sextile your Sun as well gives you a nice edge to milk this to the fullest which will start to pay off in a few years.

For now, don't assume people are attacking when they say bad things. Just try and forgive them for being unenlightened, and move on elsewhere. And I get the feeling that so much of this will change once you're out of high school and freer to choose your own friends, and don't have to see the same people day in day out, it certainly was like that for me and my now 20 year old nieces.
 
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